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Ella was standing in front of her couch sniffing into her laundry and trying to focus on her audiobook. She was being ridiculous, at least that’s what the mean part of her brain was telling her. “Snap out of it Lopez.” she said. But no matter how she tried to lift the weight from her chest it wouldn’t shift. She felt down, alone and useless.
She heard the key click in the lock of her apartment door and was surprised when Dan walked through. “Hey, what are you doing here?” She asked, trying to sound as happy as she should be for a surprise visit from her boyfriend.
“Checking on you.” He said taking off his jacket and placing it on ‘his’ hook by the door. “You’ve been pretty quiet today. I’ve only been getting one text message at a time.”
“Yeah, sorry.” She said guiltily. “It’s just been a rough day, couple of days.” Dan sat on the arm of the couch and stayed quiet. It was a trick he used on witnesses to keep them talking when he knew they were holding back. Ella looked at him and exhaled. “I just feel like I’m sucking at life right now.” She moved back to the pile and folded a t-shirt. “ I mean I’m not focusing, I’m getting away with the bare minimum and now I’m not even giving you the attention I should.”
“Ella that’s not what I said.” He protested. “I could just tell something was up and wanted to see what I could do.” Before she could pick up the next piece of clothing he reached over and gently pulled her by her arm so that she was standing between his legs. “So, how can I help?”
Ella’s eyes glistened with a mix of happy and sad tears. “Honestly the fact that you noticed enough to ask is helping. I sat on a 45 minute video call with my whole family earlier and didn’t say or do anything. No one figured it out.” She wrapped herself around him in a hug. Dan hugged back and kissed her shoulder to stop himself from saying something about how mad her family made him sometimes.
LA had felt like a new beginning when Ella first moved there 5 years ago. Now between her friends, her work and Dan it felt like home. She wasn’t joking when she told them she had a lot of darkness in her mind. Most days it was just a small ping or a whisper. Other days it felt like a wave pulling her down or a fog blurring all the good things in her world. Dan understood. He had his own darkness, he had made many mistakes because of it. When Dan was down, Ella picked him up. Ella was starting to see that it worked the other way around too. That was a first for her.
She pulled back and wiped her eyes with her palms. “Do, um, do you need to go? Like I don’t know if you had plans with Trixie or if you are too tired or-“ Dan shook his head.
“Nope, I’m good. Unless you want me to-“
“Nah, I um, Pizza?” She asked.
“I can do pizza.” Dan pulled out his phone. “I’ll even let you get dipping sauce” He teased.
“Oooh big spender!” Ella laughed. “Beer’s in the fridge.” He smiled and gave he an appreciative kiss.
“You rock. No matter what you think right now, you are a great person Ella Lopez.”
She watched him walk into her tiny kitchen and the fog thinned. Dan was clearing the way.