Chapter Text
The dark, mysterious ocean world of Mon Cala, which only a few days ago, Padmé Amidala found wonderful and beautiful, know held a dark shadow over her shoulders as she began to swim to the surface. The weight of what had happened hung over her head, the fact that yet again, her life was almost lost to that of a sentient being who had tried to kill her without a care in the world.
A poking, lingering thought jumped into her mind as she stopped swimming for a moment, watching as clones and Gungans continued their way towards the surface.
Not just your life.
She forced the thought to the very back, to the furthest corners of her mind. Padmé had been through many attempts on her life before; she’d been poisoned, shot at on multiple occasions, sent to her own execution, her handmaiden and dear friend Cordé had given her life for her, Ziro the Hutt had sent a bounty hunter after her. Padmé could handle those attempts, walking away with her life fully intact each time. If she gave her life for the Republic, she knew it wouldn’t be the end. Oh, she knew how much her heart would ache for Anakin, her dearly beloved husband. She knew her death would destroy him. But she would want him to move on and try and be happy.
But now, this attempt on her life was one that made her skill crawl. Now, she was carrying precious cargo: she was pregnant. Her and Anakin must have slipped up on one night he was home, which wasn’t very often anymore, (her heart had leaped in joy when Anakin had been assigned to her for this mission) but the med droid Dormé begged her to go and see wasn’t lying, and he had informed her that she was at least ten weeks along. Padmé had realized with a sinking feeling that yes, she could remember the night clearly: Anakin had surprised her with his early arrival home, and she had the day off, and together they spent the day alone in her apartment, just living and enjoying (really enjoying) each other’s company. Damn it, why had they been so careless and wreckless? They were both better than that. But what’s done is done, and subconsciously, Padmé was so excited to be a mom, but she had yet to tell Anakin. She knew she would have to tell him soon, there just hasn’t been a right time yet.
She jumped slightly as her thoughts were interrupted by Anakin’s hand on her shoulder under the water. “Are you alright?” His voice was ever soft and kind, directed at her. His eyes were full of worry, and Padmé forced a smile upon her face. “For now, will you accept a yes?”
Anakin tilted his head and Padmé really smiled at his perplexed confusion, he was just so wonderfully handsome, and she was just over the moon happy that she was having his child.
“You’ll tell me when we get back to Coruscant?” He said quietly to her. They were the last two to get onto the ship, everyone else was on board already. Padmé nodded. She squeezed his hand gently and wished she could kiss him. But she really couldn’t wait to get this broken helmet fixed with Gungan spit off her. She couldn’t wait to feel the taste of fresh air in her lungs again. He carefully rested his helmet against hers, his eyes soft and caring and Padmé could feel the love radiating off of him. But then he was gone, zipping to the surface. Padmé was right on his heels.
-
Padmé cautiously stepped into the shower aboard the ship. The group had divided into two, Ahsoka going with Kit Fisto and the Clones, Anakin electing to go with Padmé and the Gungans back to Naboo.
She let the water spill over her body, feeling as it dampened her hair as it fell over her shoulders. Her fingertips were against her stomach, which was still mostly flat except that she knew her body, and it was definitely a bit fuller, rounder, she dared to think. Her hands splayed on her skin and her eyes closed tightly.
‘I’m sorry little one.’ She said quietly. ‘I didn’t wish to put you into harm’s way.’
She let the water and soap she just added clean her off, trying to get that horrid images of Tamsen as his teeth lunged into her helmet, out of her mind. Stepping out a few minutes later, she put a soft wrap around her body, and stood staring at herself in the transparisteel mirror.
“You’re so beautiful.” Anakin whispered. She jumped slightly, turning to face him.
“Anakin, what are you doing here? How long have you been standing there?” She asked quietly. “If anyone sees you...”
He moved to rest his hands gently on her arms. “Hush. No one knows I’m here.” He bent his head down to kiss her. She relaxes instantly, one hand holding the towel in place, the other coming to rest against his cheek. His hands slid down her waist and she closed her eyes. How she had missed his touch, his fingertips gently massaging her hips over the towel. She let her lips part slightly, oh if only he knew how amazing he fingers felt, especially right now. But the moment was ruined, Padmé darting over to the toilet as she bent over, throwing up bile, her mind going to think about the last few days, and she couldn’t remember the last time she actually ate.
He was at her side in an instant, gently pulling her freshly washed hair up and out of the way, a gentle hand, she noticed it was the flesh one, was gently rubbing small circles into her back.
“It’s okay, it’s just your body reacting to being out of the water.” His words calmed her mind for a moment, but she knew deep down that wasn’t the only reason. I’m sorry for keeping this a secret from you, my love. Padmé thought, biting he lip. Standing, she shooed him out of the fresher so she could dress. Padmé slipped on a simple green nightgown, one of her favorites. She would miss it in a few months when it would no longer fit her.
She let her hair fall onto her shoulders, and she hated it constantly in her face, but her head was throbbing, so putting it up right now wasn’t the best option. When she walked out, Anakin was laying on the bed. It wasn’t that big a bed, but Padmé didn’t care as she climbed onto it, curling into his side.
“I should have been able to keep you safe.” She felt him move to rest her cheek against her hair. “I should’ve been more focused, more-”
“Anakin,” she sits up, turning to look down at him. His blue eyes were trailed on her. “Don’t do this to yourself. There’s no way you could’ve known what Tamsen would do.”
He sat up as well, and she rested her hand against his knee. He wasn’t in the state to tell him, but she didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore...
“Padmé, what’s wrong?” He leaned forward, gently cupping her cheek with his hand. She involuntary leaned in, an automatic reflex. She loved the feeling of his flesh hand against her skin.
“Anakin,” She said his name, and her eyes met his as she took a breath. “Anakin, I’m pregnant.”
His face became almost frozen, his eyes moving down to her stomach and then back to her face, searching for anything, was it a joke? She wasn’t lying. She steadied him, lifting her hands to rest them against his cheeks.
“Padmé...” He whispered out her name, gently turning his head to kiss her palm. “That’s... that’s wonderful.”
His face grew hard for a moment. “Padmé, you almost /died/ this morning! Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve let somebody else come to help the Mon calamari. You should’ve stayed home, away from trouble.”
She lifted her hand to his face, gently covering his mouth so he could stop talking for a moment. “I’ve been in many daring and dangerous situations before, Ani. But I know. I understand. This was different. It was just me at stake.”
He moved his flesh hand to her slightly rounding stomach, and she felt her heart leap to her throat.
“How long?” He asked. “Have you known? How far along are you?”
“The med droid told me I was around ten weeks, just before we left Coruscant to come here.” Padmé said. She forced her composure to be strong. “I can conceal it for now, but once he or she is born...” she trailed off. “Anakin, I’m afraid. This baby is everything I’ve ever wanted...”
“But you never expected this.” Anakin responded.
Padmé nodded. “And not so soon. The war is nowhere near over, and I don’t want to go through this alone.” She shivered slightly and he wrapped his arms around her, and she curled into his embrace. “The Queen will not let me continue to be a Senator. If the Jedi find out...”
He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that right now.” He kisses her temple. “This baby will change our lives.”
Padmé wasn’t in the mood to argue. It was still many months away until the baby would be born. It would change their lives, she agreed, but how? She moved to drape her arms around his neck, laying against his chest as she closes her eyes.
“Don’t let me go.” She finally broke the silence between them. His grip around her tightened slightly, holding her securely against him.
“I love you Ani, so much.” She added softly. He kissed her hair.
“I love you too.”
-
Arriving on Naboo sent a wave of emotions over Padmé. She said her farewells to the Gungans and especially Jar Jar, before making her way into the palace with Anakin on her heels. He didn’t leave her side, proclaiming that he was just “doing his job as a Jedi.” But Padmé knew he was being extra cautious because of their child growing in her womb.
“Are you going to tell the Queen?” Her husband asked, and Padmé shook her head.
“I’m going to tell her about Mon Cala and the success of the Republic. That we only returned to Naboo to ensure the Gungans returned safely. And to see my family for a few days.”
“Are we really going to see your family?” Anakin’s eyes lit up.
“Yes. And then I want to spend a few days at the lake house at Varykino.”
Anakin grinned before standing straight. “Of course, my lady.”
She offered him a sideways grin, his charm making her weak in the knees. Refocusing, she led the way to speak with the Queen.
The meeting was quick and brief, Padmé assumes, because Queen Neeyutnee had other, more pressing issues to deal with. Padmé understood. Being a Queen of a sovereignty during an invasion of your home is one thing, but to be Queen during an ongoing war was another. Neeyutnee was handing things quite well, and Padmé admired her strength. Bidding the farewell, Padmé exited the throne room with Anakin at her side. Many thoughts were swirling around inside her mind.
“I can’t even think about what I would do if I was Queen now.” Padmé said quietly as they left the palace, electing to walk to her parent’s home.
“I’m sure you would do your best.” Anakin said reassuringly. “You did your best during the invasion. I’m sure you could handle being a Queen during a war.”
Padmé offered him a kind smile. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck, and hug him, to even just hold his hand in public.
But they couldn’t.
It was one thing she hated about the relationship. All she ever wanted was to be able to show him affection in public like everyone else around her. Like her sister could do with her own husband.
Anakin must have noticed her mood change and he gently brushed his hand against her back for a moment. It was the softest motion, and just feeling his hand against her brought her warmth.
She relaxed instantly. Padmé knew she shouldn’t worry about these little things. She had a husband who loved her with everything he was. She was carrying his child. A Jedi’s child. Padmé often thought about how her life had gone in this direction. But she wouldn’t change it for anything.
“The last time we were here together, do you remember it?” Padmé asked softly as they walked, side by side, in sync with each other.
“Of course, I do. Except then, I was only your protector.” Padmé didn’t have the force, but she could feel the happiness radiating off of her husband.
“You protected me, alright.” She said in a whisper.
“And last time we had Artoo.” Anakin added, to which Padmé laughed, a smile gracing her face.
“Aunt Padmé!”
Padmé lifted her head and a wide smile crossed her lips as her nieces ran out of the house. It felt like deja vu, replaying this scene in her mind. Had it almost been three years? “It’s so good to see you both again! My goodness, you’ve both gotten so tall!” She crouches down next to them.
“Hi Anakin!!” The girls said. Anakin smiles at them warmly, crouching next to Padmé. “Hello Ryoo, Pooja.” He greeted the girls.
Standing up once again, she took Ryoo’s hand and Anakin took Pooja’s, as they walked inside. Padmé felt her heart leap into her throat as she watched Anakin with her niece, picturing him with their child. A smile stayed on her face as she walked inside, instantly getting bombarded with a hug from her mother. Padmé hugged her back, feeling every worry just melt away. She rarely had time to see her family, but when she was able to, her family always seemed to brighten her mood.
“Hi mom.” Padmé whispered quietly. Jobal pulled away and smiled at her daughter. “Hello honey. And hello again Anakin. Still my daughter’s bodyguard?” She asked with a smile.
Anakin shook his head. “Just a guest this time, Mrs. Naberrie.”
Jobal pulled him into a hug and Padmé smiled, lifting her hand to cover her mouth as Anakin hugged her back lightly. “Call me Jobal, please.”
“Where’s dad?” Padmé asked as she walked further inside, Anakin setting down the single leather suitcase.
“He’s outback, working on something.” Her mother waved her hands around in the air.
“Little sister!” Sola’s excited voice rang out. Padmé felt the smile growing on her lips as she now moved to hug her sister.
Sola pulled away for a moment, a knowing grin upon her face but said nothing.
“I hope you’re both hungry.” Jobal said as she drew her hands together. Padmé nods. “Lunch would be amazing, mom.”
She glanced over at Anakin who inclined his head, agreeing with Padmé. He was suddenly pulled away by her two nieces, who were giggling and chatting away.
“They seem to have grown to like him.” Padmé laughed with a soft expression on her face.
Sola smirked, shaking her head. She took Padmé’s hand and lead her into her old room.
“How far along are you?” Sola asked immediately, getting to the point.
Padmé blinked, and then blinked again. “I don’t understand what you mean...” she tried to play it off, rubbing her arm slightly, avoiding looking at her sister.
“I’ve been pregnant twice, Padmé. I can see that your cheeks haves gotten fuller, and I can see it in your eyes when you look at my daughters. Your dress also gives it away. I mean really Padmé, you’re going to need loose fitting dresses.” Sola laughed.
“I can see our talk last time about Anakin went over well.” Sola snorted lightly. Padmé blushes before straightening. She made her face stern. “It’s forbidden, Sola.”
“But you still did it anyway? My rebellious little sister.” Sola grinned knowingly.
Padmé closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You must pretend you don’t know, please.” Padmé leaned forward, taking her sister’s hands into her own. “You must act oblivious. If it gets out that we’re married-” Padmé cursed under her breath.
“Married?!” Sola exclaimed, before Padmé quickly shushed her, yanking on hers hand slightly to get her attention. “Quiet!”
Sola wrapped her into a hug. “Oh Padmé, mom’s not going to be happy that she missed that.”
Padmé sighs. “It was a beautiful ceremony. At Varykino. We couldn’t use our real names, but we are married. I love him.” She admitted. It was as if bricks were lifted off her shoulders. How long she spent, keeping this secret only between her and Anakin? Saying she loved him came easy to her, and again she wished she could talk as freely about her love as Sola could about her own husband.
Her sister squeezed Padmé’s hands and stood up. “Don’t worry. I promise my lips are sealed. Anyway, we should probably go save your baby daddy from my daughters. Who knows what they’ll do to him?” She grinned.
“It’s good practice for him.” Padmé laughed and shrugged, as they both stood to go and rejoin the group.