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Lee grew up in a palace.
Not really. The hollowed-out hole in the tree where he lived as a caterpillar and cocooned in with all of his siblings was several full wingspans under the actual palace, but as soon as his wings were dry enough, he was flying through the hallways and learning the layout like he was supposed to, laughing and playing with other moths his age.
The palace was branches and vines woven together to form rooms and spaces where bugs could live. It stretched out between several trees as well, half a palace but also functioning as a city and safe space for trade and living. Hundreds to thousands of bugs called the place home, taking refuge from predators and living peaceful lives in the hollows and holes in the trunks and branches.
Lee had only good memories after he crawled out of his cocoon. He ate sweet fruits and nectar and spent hours upon hours chasing his friends up through the spirals and down to the soaked dense earth of the forest floor. He was expected to have fun and that’s what he did.
And when he grew old enough and mature enough, he no longer roamed the halls, as carefree as before. Now, he had to train. He and his siblings were to become castle guards, of course, and as soon as the heavy stone shield was dropped into his hands, he was expected to grow up and dedicate his life to the royal family.
It meant waking up early, practicing shield-work, and learning war strategies. Lee was no longer allowed to play. Movement had to be efficient and formal. Every action had a meaning from how you positioned your feet to when you moved your hands and wings and antenna.
Lee had played in the halls, squealing and laughing and having so much fun, but the deep rooms inside the palace had no such freedom. They were darker, silk-woven tapestries and curtains strung up to block out the sun so wax candles could be the main source of light.
It was here that Lee was stationed most days, expected to spend hours posted in front of doors or guarding the royal family without growing restless or bored.
“Back straight,” Attal, the head of the guard, said as he walked past Lee. With a flick of his wing, he repositioned Lee’s shield so that it was tighter to his body as Lee fixed his posture.
“Yes, quimopialia,” Lee murmured, bowing his head respectfully.
There was a meeting of dignitaries in the following days—bugs from multiple colonies and cities all coming together. Lee wasn’t sure what they were going to be talking about or why they had to meet, but it was his duty to protect them and that was what he was going to do. His job.
It didn’t take long for bugs to begin to file in. From butterflies twice Lee’s size with sweeping wings and gowns that both flashed with every color imaginable to beetles only as tall as his knee with hardened armor and streaks of paint and dye across their backs and horns—the main dining area quickly filled with nobility and royalty alike.
And with every bug that arrived, a dozen or so attendants also filed into the room as well. Each one needed assistants and guards and handmaidens to help with their outfits and their food of course.
Lee found himself standing across from another moth, not nearly as large as him but similarly colored, both of them posted in the same corner. The main difference was the stripe of red across his wings. He had two twin short swords strapped to his waist, one on either side, and a bag was strapped across his chest, carrying who knows what. When he caught Lee staring, he offered a cautious smile before checking to see if anyone was watching and then edging a bit closer.
“Thank you for hosting,” he said, extremely formal. With the way he bowed his head first and dipped his wings out, he was showing Lee an almost-ridiculous amount of respect. When he straightened, he still had that playful smile, which made Lee think it was just a joke.
So Lee bowed his head in return, bending down even deeper than the other moth had, extending his wings as much as he could without tripping up the servers that were bustling about. “Thank you for attending, quimopialia,” he said, adding the honorific sort of as a joke and sort of as a serious display of respect.
The moth just covered his smile, laughing quietly before composing himself again.
“My name is Beau Nodozana,” he said, his tone still overly formal. He even bowed his head again. “But most refer to me as Nod.”
“Lepid Thysiania,” Lee said, reciprocating the introduction. “Lee.”
Nod turned to survey the room then, with the smallest flick of his wing directing Lee’s gaze to the beetle that was sitting about halfway down the table, jovially toasting the bugs around them with a frothy mug of fermented juice. From the way they laughed and clapped the shoulders of the bugs around them, it was safe to assume they were several cups in already.
“My dignitary,” Nod said. “Sovereign Gemini. Long may they fly.” He made some symbol over his chest and bowed his head in the bug’s direction, obviously some sort of well-wishes or sign of respect.
“My queen,” Lee said, gesturing subtly at the head of the table.
Her majesty, Queen Epidaus, was smiling and enjoying quieter conversation with the bugs around her. The tails of her wings swept out behind her, and the suit that had been woven and spun for her to wear tonight was elegant and tasteful and yet somehow the most powerful thing Lee had ever seen. It wasn’t often he was in her presence, as part of the lower section of the guard, but he still recognized her from the paintings and tapestries hanging throughout the palace.
“What a night to meet,” Nod said, still with that cheeky smile. “Shall I find you after the meals and conversations?”
Lee blinked in surprise and found himself nodding before he thought the offer through. Maybe it was out of politeness, but he certainly didn’t want to say no to the visiting moth.
The evening continued as normal. The nobles worked their way through the different courses of the meal, from sweet delicate cakes and desserts to more savory dishes of meat and sauces. Drinks were refilled, the wine flowing freely and making the conversation grow louder and rowdier. The sun sunk beneath the tree line and lanterns and candles were lit and hung from their hooks on the wall to keep the festivities going.
The moon was full that night and the sky was clear. Hundreds to millions of stars stretched across the sky. The weather was comfortable, without much of a breeze, and that meant that jackets and caplets and throws were coming off near the end of the night.
Attal approached Lee just as the final course was finishing up and bugs were splitting up and coupling off. Some in groups of threes or fours all tottered off, too tipsy to fly but eager to get to private rooms and quarters as they all shared giggles and whispers.
“You’re dismissed,” Attal said. For the first time in a long time, he had a warm look to his eyes, sort of fatherly as he nudged Lee away from his post. “Take the night off. There’s no curfew tonight.”
Lee blinked but nodded respectfully. “Thank you, quimopialia,” he said. A night off was nothing to take lightly.
He didn’t waste any time, hurrying back to his quarters to remove his armor and shield. He stored them carefully in their appropriate cupboards. He felt weightless after holding them for so long and the moment he was out on the roost, he took flight, stretching his wings wide and beating them harder than necessary to get the muscles working again. Not that he was sore, but he didn’t often get a chance to stretch them to their fullest.
He made his way quickly towards the tops of the trees, sticking to the understory. He wasn’t foolish enough to fly completely above it—that was the hunting grounds of birds and other predators—but he did enjoy the clearer space that was higher up. There were less branches and leaves and plenty of room for him to twist and spin and fly to his heart’s content.
He was so lost in himself that the trill of a three note tune made him freeze and dive in terror, sure that it was a bird that had spotted him.
He dropped below the branches, using every dodge and maneuver he could think of to lose whatever was chasing him. He landed on a pale tree, bringing his wings in close and tight, ducking his head to camouflage himself against the bark.
He was breathing hard, more out of terror than anything, scared that any moment, claws would wrap around his body and tear his body from his perch.
“I didn’t mean to scare you!” a voice called out. A familiar voice.
Lee looked up, barely spotting Nod flitting through the leaves above him. He hadn’t noticed before, since Nod’s wings had been folded so tightly, but he had a pair of hindwings that were brilliant red on the undersides in addition to the stripe across his back. It made him stand out in the foliage, but he didn’t seem to mind.
He dove down, settling on a branch above Lee’s head, and pulled a small pipe made of hollow reeds from one of his smaller bags. He played the same tune again, fluttering his wings to the music before offering it to Lee.
“See?” he said. “Not a bird. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
With a huff, Lee joined him on the branch. It took him half a wingbeat to cover the distance, and as he settled, Nod was still beaming at him.
“I thought we promised to meet up,” he said teasingly.
“I . . . I wasn’t sure how to find you again,” Lee said honestly. To be entirely fair, he didn’t think that the offer had been genuine, just a joking formality like the rest of the conversation.
Nod was still smiling at him and laughed as if Lee had said the funniest joke. “Come on,” he said. “We have one night. Do you really want to spend it in the understory?”
Lee blinked. “The canopy is filled with birds,” he said bluntly. “We don’t fly too high without a whole battalion and proper weaponry—”
Nod cut him off with a flap of his wings, showing off the red strip and the red undersides. “I’ll make sure they won’t bother us,” he said with his chest puffed out. “They know better than to try anything with me.”
Lee wasn’t sure if he was supposed to believe him but he laughed before he could stop himself. This little moth was less than half his size, and somehow he looked like he was ready to fight the entire world and win too.
“Very well,” Lee said, sweeping his wings wide. “Lead the way.”
Nod just gave him a cheeky smile before taking flight.
And Lee followed him, breaking through the understory and into the branches above. Most birds were nesting this last into the night, but he caught the shadow of wings out of the corner of his eye more than once. The chatter of insects and other bugs carried up from below, keeping the night from being too quiet, but Lee was all too aware of how alone he and Nod were.
They circled each other playfully, somehow knowing exactly when to pull away or how to turn to avoid colliding with each other. They looped around each other, plunging into dives and pulling into steep climbs before they could get too low in the canopy.
Nod held his pipes tightly, occasionally sending notes or simple tunes out into the night. Lee had to be careful that his huge wings didn’t blow him too much off course, but they were in sync, somehow without ever flying together before.
“Follow me!” Nod called as he dove past Lee in a particularly close fly-by.
Lee obeyed without question, climbing higher and higher. They left the understory and into the canopy layer and even that was higher that Lee had ever been before. He and the other guards would hunt up here occasionally, finding flowers and other fruit to break off and bring back to the palace cooks to prepare or put into storage.
Lee expected Nod to stop here, to find a branch and perch there and enjoy the foliage. Instead, he flew even higher, beating harder and harder in determination. He was smaller than Lee and not as strong a flier, but somehow wild and determined to make it to avian territory.
“Careful!” Lee called, almost wanting to grab him and pull him back down.
Nod just played a teasing couple of notes on his pipes and flew even higher.
Lee had never entered the emergent layer of the forest. It was somehow denser and yet more open at the same time. The leaves were greener here, and the chatter of other bugs had almost completely faded by now. Lee shuddered at every birdcall, knowing that each could be a predator waiting to kill them for crossing territory lines. Surely this is where Nod would stop.
But no. He flipped in a loop, showing off his red colorings before going even higher. Lee hesitated, considering diving back down to safety, but he didn’t want to leave the other moth alone. Not here, where there was nothing but danger. So he followed.
Lee had never broken the tree line before—there was never any need to—but when he broke through the final layer of leaves and branches and joined Nod under the unfiltered light of the moon and stars, he almost lost his breath.
Everything was silver, and Nod’s wings were gold.
They were completely alone. Not even birds ventured this high, not this late at night, and the noise didn’t filter through all the layers of leaves and greenery, meaning the night air was chilled and completely quiet.
When Nod laughed, the sound carried out into the night around them, traveling farther and taking up the world. And Lee couldn’t help but laugh too, at first nervous and then more genuinely. The moon was large, bigger than he could have ever guessed. From the palace it always looked like a silver plate, not small by any means, but through the leaves and branches, it certainly didn’t look big.
Now, Nod swooped up and was able to be framed entirely inside the silver-white disk with room to spare. The red of his wings nearly glowed, and Lee hurried to join him under the starlight.
“We are truly free,” Nod said, tucking his pipes into their proper bag and offering his hands to Lee.
Lee swooped closer, careful not to let his wings knock into Nod or throw them off balance. They were able to get close enough to grab onto each other, spinning around through the air. They didn’t have to say anything. The moment was beyond words.
They spun until they were both dizzy, and then they let go, tumbling down until they landed on the very top leaves. They were still warm from being exposed to the hot sun all day, and Lee stretched his wings out luxuriously, enjoying the chance to relax without the pressure of court or formalities.
“Told you so,” Nod whispered.
“Told me what?” Lee asked.
Nod just flashed the red of his wings. “That I could protect us.”
Lee smiled. “I trusted you the whole time,” he said, making it obvious he was lying.
Nod laughed and then sighed, looking up at the stars and moon. “I leave tomorrow,” he said. He didn’t even let a lull in the conversation.
“So?” Lee asked.
“I’ll miss you.”
Lee blinked. Miss him? They knew each other for a night. Yes, this had been fun and dangerous and something that Lee would never forget, but enough to make him miss the other bug? He wasn’t quite sure.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
Nod just looked at him with a sad smile and then shook his head, as if to shake off whatever he had been feeling or thinking. “Never mind,” he said.
“I’ll write to you,” Lee blurted quickly. He didn’t want to see Nod so disappointed, and the other moth perked up almost immediately. “It doesn’t . . . it doesn’t have to just be tonight.”
After a small discussion, they both realized that neither of their sleeping quarters allowed them much privacy, so they tumbled back down to the understory, fluttered halfheartedly, neither of them in any rush to get back to the palace. They parted ways, both holding onto the other’s hand a little longer than necessary before finally letting go. Neither of them commented on it.
The next day, Lee was part of the guard that stood ready and formal as all of the nobles and dignitaries said their goodbyes. There was a bustle of wings and antenna and legs as everyone made sure that bags were packed and there was enough food and supplies to make the trip back home. Cheeks were kissed, hands were shaken, some even hugged as they all said goodbye in their own way.
Lee found Nod in the crowd, somehow, spotting his red wings in the middle even though the entire crowd was a mess of colors. They exchanged smiles that were just between themselves, and Lee vowed to send out a letter that night.
**************
It was several months of communication like that—careful letters with neat ink and words that were only whispered against pillows in the dead of night. They grew closer that way, learning more about each other and learning more about their different cultures and traditions.
Nod’s pipes and music were not just for show. His own guard were trained to communicate with the music midair, so they didn’t have to yell across huge stretches of space.
Lee told him about shield-work, and how he was trained to contain threats with minimal damage to their opponent. He also told him how a shield would be changed to inflict crushing damage when needed. Versatile, and dangerous.
It was months before Nod’s nobility was able to visit again. It wasn’t anything too important or pressing. Mostly a chance for Sovereign Gemini to visit Queen Epidaus without the stress of formalities. And with the visit came the usual requirement of guards and entire caravans that were needed for travelling.
Nod and Lee found themselves side by side, on-guard during the dining time. And just like before, they were dismissed by the final course, to have the night off to let the dignitaries catch up privately.
“Come on,” Nod said, already flying up and through the branches, and this time Lee knew exactly where they were headed.
And just like before, they danced under the moon and stars until they were too tired and then they collapsed on the leaves. Lee had grown a bit, since they had seen each other, and could spread his wings completely over Nod, creating a private space where only they existed.
They laughed and whispered the words they usually kept only in their letters. Nod showed Lee the constellations he could follow to reach the Gemini castle and explained how it was only a couple days’ flight away, even less depending on how often you stopped.
Eventually, they had to return to the palace, stomachs starting to growl and they knew they couldn’t sleep under the stars, no matter how safe they thought they would be.
They descended slowly, teasing each other with loops and circles, occasionally grabbing the other’s hand to pull them into a quick spin before letting go and dropping a few more wingspans. They laughed and giggled, Nod using his pipes so that they didn’t lose each other in the darkness.
Lee didn’t hear the wingbeats until the last moment, and he barely tucked his wings in for a tight dive before the bird swooped over him, grasping where he had been second before with talons that would have torn his wings to shreds in seconds.
The hunter was completely silent as it turned around and dove for another strike, eyes barely glinting in the darkness.
“Dive!” Lee called out in a panic, hoping that Nod could get to safety in time. The bird would go after the better meal first, so Lee just had to dodge the blows until he found a place to hide among the branches.
As long as Nod got out of danger. That was all that mattered.
So Lee was caught completely off guard when Nod dove in front of him, putting himself between Lee and the bird. Lee almost swatted him out of the air right then and there, panicking and trying to think of the fastest way to protect him.
But Nod flared his wings wide at the bird, unflinching and determined.
To Lee’s surprise and shock, the bird pulled out of its attack with a panicked squawk, fumbling as it tried to get away from Nod as fast as possible. It wasn’t completely put off though. It circled warily and chose another angle to attack from.
Nod circled Lee carefully, flaring his wings whenever the bird tried to get too close. Lee’s heart was pounded in his throat as he tried to hover as still as possible.
And eventually, the bird gave up. With one last angry squawk, it disappeared into the shadows, and Lee and Nod were able to continue their descent. They didn’t say anything, just headed straight down until they were able to land on a relatively unused balcony of the palace.
“What was that?!” Lee said, turning on Nod and checking him over for any wounds.
“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Nod said, checking over Lee in return. “Are you okay?!”
“I thought you were going to get eaten!” Lee blurted.
“You were the one who was attacked first!” Nod said.
And then they both realized that that other wasn’t hurt and both of them were okay, and they pulled away from each other, awkward and laughing nervously. Like they didn’t expect the other to care so much.
“I told you I could protect you from birds,” Nod finally said. He reached forward and grabbed Lee’s hand, pulling him inside the leaves and branches of the palace. “Come on. I . . . I have a private room this time. By request.”
Lee squeezed his hand tightly and followed without complaint.
They fell asleep in the same bed then, Nod blanketed underneath Lee’s wings with the cushions and pillows propped around them. Wind chimes made of river stones and shells clinked in the window and they could sleep knowing that they had more time than just a day with each other.
The next day, they spent all their time around the palace. Lee had some duties he had to attend to, training times that he had to meet and hours where he had to stand guard, and Nod was pretty much the same. Afterwards though, they were able to do whatever they liked, meeting in the libraries and talking over books and tea and sweet pastries.
They walked through the royal gardens, where the chefs and cooks cultivated large colorful flowers for their nectar and fruit. Lee showed him the secret corners and spots where he had played as a child, and how he had spent hours sunning himself on certain branches with his wings lazily draped open.
That night, they didn’t fly up to see the stars. They were both still rattled from the encounter with the bird and decided to share a night in with a bottle of fruit wine nicked from the storage cellars. They ended up tipsy and giggling on Nod’s bed, sharing embarrassing stories from when they were younger and doing their best not to spill wine across the sheets.
When Nod did have to leave with Sovereign Gemini again, Lee’s goodbye was not sad or tearful. He knew he would see the bug again soon, more than likely, and he had dozens of letters to look forward to in the future.
********
It was several more months of correspondence after that.
Lee’s life became busier. There were skirmishes on the far reaches of the palace, several trees over, but it still required the guard’s attention. It was mostly small things at first—a couple run-ins with bands of thieves, vendors were attacked bringing their wares in and out of the city’s limit, a couple of homes were vandalized, only small casualties.
When an entire district went up in flames and the palace was flooded with displaced bugs who no longer had homes, Lee realized that the skirmishes weren’t as small or random as they had first thought.
Most of his days were filled with providing food and medical relief for the sudden influx of visitors and refugees. He didn’t have as much time to write then, sending Nod quick apologies and updates before collapsing onto his bed in exhaustion. He and the entire guard were stretched thin with so much work and stress.
When the second burn took more than three sections of the city and couldn’t be contained within the first night, that’s when they started to evacuate the palace. Lee, obviously, stayed behind, carrying water and dirt to dump on the flames and embers. They worked in shifts, sleeping for a couple hours at a time so that moths were working around the clock.
Queen Epidaus was the first to leave, taking her whole household and as many civilians as possible. From there, waves of bugs left every day. As long as there was food and supplies to spare, it was most important to get as many of them out of there as quickly and safely as possible.
There was no more mail or communications, and Nod became the last thing on Lee’s mind as he struggled and fought to save his city and home from any more destruction.
The final fire was set when Lee was sleeping, and he was rattled awake with the screams of pain and alarm. He slept with his shield next to his pillow at this point, and he was required to have a bag ready to go at any moment. He grabbed these, flying into the flames before he was even really awake.
The heat burned at his scales and dried out his eyes. He was blinded by the smoke and deafened by the roar of the fire itself, and in an instant, he was lost, even though he had most of the twists and turns of the hallways memorized. He stumbled in tight circles midair, tucking his wings as much as he could so that he didn’t burn the tips.
“Help!” he yelled, hoping that there was someone—anyone—around that could hear him. Maybe there was someone else nearby, and they could fight their way out together. “Help! Is anyone there?!”
He couldn’t even hear the screams at this point.
There was a soft creak, and that was the only warning he got before an entire section of the roof collapsed down on top of him. Lee felt the embers on his back and fur and just barely ducked out of the way. A stray branch caught one of his antenna though, and pain blinded him as it caught fire.
Lee beat his wings hard, sending the flames coiling around him as they ate the air he fed them, but he was climbing then. He broke free through the hole in the ceiling and kept going, not even daring to stop until the heat licking at his stomach was just an afterthought.
He collapsed on a branch, fumbling close to the trunk.
He was blinded from the smoke, unable to tell up from down. He battered at his antenna, putting it out as quickly as he could, but even then, he could tell that it was damaged beyond when medicine could help with.
He hunkered close to the bark, cupping his wings over his head and hoping the flames couldn’t reach him.
Lee wasn’t sure how long he perched there. He was able to blink to clear his eyes so he could look at his blurry surroundings and try to figure out where he was. He was just in time, too, as the flames had started their way up the tree he was hiding in and he had to take flight.
He had enough sense about him to fly higher, using the heated updrafts so that he didn’t have to put that much effort into his down-strokes. Every bird and predator had vacated the emergent layer, so Lee didn’t have to worry too much when he broke through the tops of the leaves loudly.
The stars. He remembered Nod pointing out the conversations, telling him the directions to his own home. Lee flew, the memory and panic giving him the energy to keep going. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t catch his breath. The trees were burning beneath him, uncontrolled and violent.
Lee just had to fly.
When the moon finally disappeared beneath the tree line, and the sky grew too pale to see the stars, Lee still kept going. He managed to take careful sips from his canteen midair, so that he didn’t have to stop. Exhaustion was setting it but nowhere was safe. Not anymore. Lee couldn’t risk stopping now.
He found Nod’s home—the sprawling riverside kingdom only slightly larger than Lee’s own home.
He only barely recognized it.
Nod had described the tumbling fast river they lived next to in his letters, talking about how frog-song lulled him to sleep every night and that the fish could be harnessed to ferry luggage and wares and boats across the water. He had talked about how the trees grew over the water, filtering out the sunlight and making the sunsets more romantic than you could ever imagine.
Now, the riverbed was dried mud, only slightly wet, scattered with the bodies of fish and other water-life, long dead and already starting to rot. The smell almost knocked Lee out of the sky.
All the homes and buildings were burnt husks, and the trees that Nod had written so fondly of were now completely broken down or black and skeletal against the sky.
Lee collapsed on an empty street and cried, too exhausted and hungry and terrified to do anything else. He found an empty house that was still mostly undamaged and pulled himself inside, falling against the dirt floor and falling asleep before he had the chance to do anything else.
He wasn’t sure how long he was there. When he woke up, his hunger had finally caught up with him, and he tore into his rations. He ate two days’ worth of food, washing it down with the remainder of his canteen, before he even considered stopping for breath.
He pulled out his meager medical supplies next, hissing as he blindly bandaged his antenna. From touch alone, he could tell it was at least half the size of his other, cauterized at least, but definitely nothing he could be able to fix. When he was pretty sure he had successfully covered the open wound, he checked the rest of his body and wings.
He had lost quite a few scales, nothing that stopped him from flying, but maybe enough to scar before they healed over if he wasn’t careful. Still, Lee couldn’t let it stop him. Once he was sure that there was no other significant damage, he gathered his supplies and bags and pulled himself out of the house.
His entire body was sore from flying for so long without rest, but Lee needed to check the castle. That was where Nod would have been staying, in some sort of guards’ quarters same as Lee had back at his own palace.
Lee flew over the ruined stretch of homes, headed up the bank to a particular large pile of rocks. The wooden stump that had grown in the rich earth next to the river had wrapped its roots around the stone and thrived, until the fire had eaten it away. Lee could see where rooms and walkways had used to be, and his heart was in his throat as he circled carefully.
Most of the embers and cinders were extinguished at this point. Lee was still careful with his wings gusts, not wanting to kick up any stray flames as he landed.
He searched the castle the best he could, but just as he had feared, most of it was destroyed. He found a couple cellars that had been carved into the stone below the tree that had escaped most of the damage, and was able to fill his canteen with fresh water and stuff his bag with dried fruit and hardtack. He even found a jar of golden sweet nectar that he tucked into his bag without thinking too hard about.
When he finally pulled himself back to the surface, he had to acknowledge that there was no one left and that he wouldn’t be able to stay here.
If there had been any survivors, he wouldn’t be able to tell. Any bodies would have been completely burned by the fire, and if Nod or anyone else had escaped, they would have done so by wing, not leaving much for Lee to track or take note of.
Lee had to fly. He wasn’t sure what direction. He wasn’t sure where he could go, but he couldn’t stay here. There was too much death and destruction, and who knew if or when the flames were coming back. He needed to fly and fly far.
With a heavy heart, he took off, not looking at the wreckage beneath him as he hurried away. He stayed in the understory. He didn’t need the stars or the moon tonight. He couldn’t get lost if there was nowhere for him to go.
And Lee truly had nowhere to go.