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“This is all you can do?” The elephant-disguised-as-a-human talked with a proud tone in his voice. Actually, Loki was afraid he might be offending elephants as a species. Still, he didn’t find any noun suitable for the best warrior of his training group in Asgardia.
He knew at some moment somebody had said his rival’s name, but the young boy wasn’t important enough for Loki. Sooner or later, the boy, inspired by his courage in combat, would travel to the Realm of Hela.
If Loki could choose between fighting like beasts or fixing the dispute using arguments and agreement like civilized beings, he would be the first shaking hands and talking at the meetings.
Loki rose from the ground with a slow movement, all his bones hurting. At least, the elephant waited for him to be ready to continue the combat training. If Loki could choose, he would be alone in a safe place, reading and learning, and thinking and scheming. And maybe remembering magic, trying to.
He could stop the battle at any time, just surrendering himself with a word or a sign, but he won’t do it. Some of the elite warriors of Asgardia were watching the clash between the young apprentices, and of course, Thor was the first of them. He finally could see his brother after a long absence, from a distance and with everyone else around them, sitting and watching the practice, but Loki was happy just with that.
Loki tried to give a hit, but the elephant blocked him, and without surprising anyone, Loki found himself in the ground with the training sword approaching towards him. Loki managed to slip away as the weasel a lot of people in the Nine Realms said he was. “ All this time, they have been telling me my evil and old self was very fast,” he thought.
He ran until he established a reasonable distance between the elephant and him. Loki could hear the stupid name of the elephant; the crowd was cheering for him. Some exclaimed Loki’s name, too, along with some insults and whistles. Just Thor was observing with an indecipherable expression on his face. He hadn’t yelled Loki’s name, but the elephant’s neither.
The elephant started to shorten the distance between them. Loki looked from side to side, expecting to find something he could use in his favor. He didn’t find anything, and he didn’t have another spot to run.
“This is so unfair,” Loki thought, “ My old self didn’t become famous for winning battles using a hammer and his muscles.”
The elephant rose the training sword. The blow caused Loki to fall into the ground, and Loki only had one thought while the elephant was preparing the last hit: “ this is going to hurt .”
Loki abandoned the training arena after they announced the combat’s winner. Nobody tried to stop him, but while he was leaving, Loki received some looks from the young warriors he would give anything to forget. One part of him wanted to run away from Asgardia, the other part of him wished to be strong enough for never losing again against anyone. “ My old self was evil, but he was strong enough for fighting against all Asgard, for fighting Thor, for winning to them.”
Loki walked towards the only place in Asgardia he felt welcome.
“That’s not the path to the healers,” His brother’s voice said.
“It’s the path to my library,” Loki said, stopping his walking. He looked at his brother, feeling ashamed.
Thor didn’t look disappointed, but he might be hiding his feelings just for the sake of Loki. Thor was always the first one to say people of Asgardia have to be prepared for any enemies, but what happened if his little brother wasn’t capable of helping them, helping Asgardia?
“The books won’t give you any comfort.”
“Do you want to bet some bucks?” Loki replied, “Or whatever currency you actually use in Midgard, because you use one, don’t you? Or they just give you free things because of the Avenger status and stuff? That would be pretty cool.”
“You’re not allowed to bet. You’re just a kid.”
“Some people may disagree with you.”
“Who people?”
“Me. I’m the best at betting.”
Loki thought the conversation would distract Thor about the real issue he wanted to talk with him. Thor, instead, placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder and gave him a strange look. Loki felt embarrassed, but he didn’t want to run away as he did in the combat training.
“I’m proud of you.”
“For betting? I’m proud of me too.”
“No, that would be a matter for another occasion.”
“So…?”
“I know you, brother. You could have been able to defeat The-Name-Loki-Insist-To-Ignore-Because-Elephant-Is-More-Suitable- with the sorcery of yours, but you preferred to use the weapons of the men.”
Loki almost fell to the ground right there. Thor was the only person in the Nine Realms that could see any good in him.
“Ah, yes?” Loki says, “I mean, of course. It’s part of the new me. No tricks. For real this time”.
Loki lied so easily to Thor and himself. Thor always believed his lies, but Loki was intelligent enough for using the deception as a shield.
Loki read and studied, trying to understand magic, to wake up new memories, the only memories from his previous life that are worth remembering. But nothing was working. The magic didn’t come.
There was no magic inside the totally new and good Loki.