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So, I (30f) am worried about my husband's (31) friend (25f). We'll call her Clarke. They've been friends all their lives and are petty close. My husband, Bellamy, has a younger sister (25) who is Clarke's best friend. I've never really been super worried about them because Clarke's completely in love with her wife.
Unfortunately, her wife is in the Marines and went MIA. It's been a few months and Clarke has been completely distraught. It doesn't help that the people she's closest to, her 2 best friends and parents, are all away right now. She does have other friends still here but she doesn't seem to want to talk to them about it.
So the thing is, Clarke's been getting comfort from Bellamy.
All the time.
She's constantly crying and running into his arms. Believe me I get that it's hard but the thing that really started worrying me was that Bellamy mentioned in passing that Clarke refused anyone coming back to be with her. (We all live in the same city but all 4 are away right know for different reasons I'll leave undisclosed for privacy and anonymity's sake.)
I know that Clarke loves her wife and is grieving but I'm getting worried that this is leading to her trying to make a move on my husband. I'm honestly trying to not be insecure and I'm actually pretty confident, I'm hot and I know it.
But Clarke is drop dead gorgeous. Like godess level, trip over your feet beautiful.
It doesn't help that she has a figure, like bigger breasts and more of an hourglass figure, that I know my husband prefers. Plus, in high school there were some feelings, at least on Bellamy's end, but nothing ever came of it, especially after Clarke met her wife Lexa.
I just can't help but feel like Clarke is just trying to slide her way into my husband's arms even if she doesn't fully consciously realize she's doing it. It's even worse because she's a very tactile person. Clarke was always doing some form of PDA with her wife. But with Lexa gone, she's turned all of her attention to my husband.
Well, things came to ahead today. Bellamy left to go comfort Clarke when we were supposed to be having some alone time last night. Then this afternoon, I got home from work to find them cuddling on the couch.
I fucking lost it. I started screaming at her to get away from my husband and to accept and get over her wife being gone and that just because she's grieving doesn't mean she gets to latch onto my husband now and accused her of trying to get with my husband.
Clarke looked horrified and was crying and just kept apologizing over and over as she rushed out.
I instantly felt bad and Bellamy blew up at me. I tried to tell him but he didn't want to hear it and just rushed out after Clarke. Which I get, but honestly just has me feeling worse and like I was right that he prioritizes her over me.
I know what I said was wrong but even when I tried explaining what I was feeling, Bellamy just called me an inconsiderate asshole.
I don't think I was wrong for feeling this way, just that I blew up and said things I shouldn't have.
Bellamy hasn't come home and neither of them are answering my calls and texts.
I don't know what to do or where to go from here. How do I explain what I've been feeling? How do I tell Bellamy that he's putting too much time and energy into Clarke without him brushing me off? Does anyone have any advice on how to move past this? AITA?
TL:DR My husband's friend lost her military wife and is constantly running to my husband for comfort. I blew up at her for trying to get with my husband and using being upset as an excuse to get closer with him. AITA?
Edit 1: Lexa is back!! She was in a really bad situation where honestly they were looking for her body rather than her bad. That's why Clarke was so distraught if that makes sense. We all were petty much under the assumption that she was dead and we may never even get her body back or even find out exactly what happened. Apparently she was captured but they were rescued.
Edit 2: Thank you for all the support! I really appreciate it! I though I was going crazy but I'm glad you guys saw what I saw. I sat down and talked about everything with Bellamy. He swears up and down that he doesn't have any feelings for Clarke and I believe him. Though to be honest with you guys, it's a lot easier to rest easy now that Lexa's back because those two are like the definition of soulmates, you know?
But anyway, we talked it all out and I said that I would apologize for some of the things I said to Clarke. He apologized for pushing me to the side. We actually were able to talk about why.
Bellamy has always had a bit of issues when it comes to emotions but he opened up about how his dad leaving him and his mom and sister, it really effected him. It made him feel like he had to step up and be the man of the house and be responsible for his mother and sister. He said he feels especially protective of his sister because of it and his family in general which Clarke is as well.
I already knew about his childhood and everything but I feel like for the first time Bellamy was able to open up and really talk about everything and how he feels and how its effected him to this day. We think he's also been on high alert since we've been trying for a baby and he's definitely going to be a damn near helicopter parent lol.
I am very happy to say that we've been communicating more and he's been more open. Plus, he's been putting more effort into our relationship. We actually both have.
Looking back, we both got a bit lazy and were slacking off in that department and pretty much only really focused on getting pregnant. I think that's part of what really started to make my insecurities and worry worsen.
Edit 3: Some people are confused as to why Clarke was solely coming to Bellamy. Her parents and best friends are all out of the country basically for work. Being told Lexa was MIA it practically came across as she was KIA if that makes sense.
Also, when it comes to who she would go to it would be Lexa then her dad then her mom then her best friends then Bellamy. She does have some other friends but not people she's super close to so it would've been more awkward than anything.
Thank you to everyone who's given me advice when I felt like I was a crazy asshole! It's a really shitty situation but honestly all of our relationships, mine and Bellamy, mine and Clarke's, and Clarke's and Lexa's, have become stronger because of it.