Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

…The fox in question will be made the head of the library foundation this Friday, with an intention for him to later develop the educational strategy for the next two years. An inspiring story of rags to riches.

And in other, other news, the first ever Gravity Falls gaming tournament will be taking place next week, in a shock change of schedule from the traditional marathon line dancing routine, after it was officially declared – by public health mandate - that nobody line dances anymore.

Dan Corduroy, line dancing champion for seventeen years straight, has declined to comment.

The first ever tournament shall focus upon the popular game, Bloodcraft: Overdeath. Which is apparently a game, played upon a plastic disc called a Dee-Vee-Dee. You heard it here first, folks. Prize money will be over-

Clck.

“Boring.” Dipper rolled his eyes as he flicked through the channels at about twenty per second.

Dipper and Mabel sat crossed legged with bowls of cereal on the shack’s living room carpet, Pitt cola perched upon the Tyrannosaur skull that acted as a defacto coffee table.

Mabel was already getting somewhat excited. Partially due to the gummi koalas that had joined her marshmallow laden cereal.

“Dip, wait! You play Bloodcraft!”

“Eh. Sort of. I couldn’t do it in a tournament.” Dipper replied. “Besides, I only have the base game, not the Overdeath expansion pack. I mean, I could buy the Underdeath DLC but it’s like-“

“I’m not listening anymore.” Mabel interrupted, before looking up at the ceiling. “I wonder how many people in town actually play games?”

“Could be anyone, Mabel. There’s no such thing as a gamer stereotype.”

“…Except Thompson.”

“Yeah, except Thompson.”

The two chuckled and went back to their sugary cereal, watching whatever z-grade codswallop was being shown on local cable.

“Paz not awake yet?” Dipper murmured.

“Na. You and her must have had a busaaaay night, huh?” His sister replied, nudging him in the ribs.

“Mabel, you both sleep in the same room.”

“And you have magic books that could help you teleport!” Mabel gasped, pointing dramatically at her brother. “You’re blushing, bro bro!”

“Of course I’m blushing!” Dipper snapped, before flipping Mabel’s hair over her head. “She’s my girlfriend!”

“You ever think how weird that is?” Mabel finally said after struggling to get her hair away from her face. “Like, Pacifica Northwest? Your girlfriend? I mean, that’s still weird isn’t it?”

“About the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. And I've spent a day as a sock puppet.”

Mabel nodded sympathetically. “And, well, she isn’t Wendy.”

“Is that so weird?” Dipper chuckled, nervously rubbing his arm. “I mean, it’s water under the bridge, right?”

“You tell me.” Mabel’s eyes narrowed as she put on her finest impersonation of a harsh gaze. It wasn’t particularly successful. It would be fair to say that Mabel wasn’t particularly fierce.

“And me.” Pacifica smirked, as she walked into the living room – already fully dressed, made up and looking about as perfectly preened as ever. Dipper momentarily caught himself staring.

“Aw, c’mon.” Dipper squirmed. “You both know it is. Why would I have crushes when I have you, Paz?”

Pacifica smirked and gave her signature tap on Dipper’s nose. “Correct answer. But it’s Pacifica.”

Dipper just rubbed the back of his head and smiled awkwardly.

It was weird, being a trio – but each of them felt pretty comfortable. Pacifica was just a kid like them, at heart – a fashionable, well dressed and confident kid, with a job and designer boots, but a kid all the same – and the three of them had gained quite a routine of pillow fights, games and mini golf since she had joined them.

She was every bit as headstrong and determined – even if she did take charge every so often. Maybe a little too much.

Loneliness and boredom was definitely a thing of the past, and, for Mabel, it was only made better by the fact someone else could join her in making light-hearted fun of her brother. And this time it was his girlfriend. Someone who had authority over him.

The twins never even considered bringing up the tournament to Pacifica. Why bother? Gaming is definitely not a Pacifica thing.

Chapter Text

Waking up in the Mystery Shack every morning never stopped feeling strange for Pacifica Northwest.

No mansion. No staff. No mahogany. No silk sheets. Just two Grunkles squabbling over the last slice of bread, or Mabel swinging on the rafters, or a pig.

As thankful as she was to the Pines family, they just didn’t know how good life could actually get with a few million dollars in the bank account. As much as she adored Dipper, as much as she wanted to spend her life with him, he didn’t know how to live.

She still felt like a shy little kid around him much of the time. Ironic considering how sweaty and awkward he was around her.

Being in love – especially at such a weird age - was a weird thing.

One moment she’d be teasing and flirting with him until his faced practically glowed – the next, he’d give her a simple compliment, or stare at her a little too long, or touch her hand, and she’d feel like a giggling wreck.

And each time it still surprised her. In fact, she had never actually turned to Dipper and said ‘I love you’.

She knew she did – and how – but saying it seemed like such a big step. It felt like a very… vulnerable thing to say, for a kid who had tried to guard herself for her entire life with a veneer of arrogance and hostility.

They didn’t kiss very often, either.  That was intimidating for both of them, too, as much as they hated to admit it to themselves – but they seemed to be constantly thinking it.

Every time, that was on Paz’s mind. Every time, that was flooding Dipper’s mind relentlessly. They didn't really know how to kiss, or how good they were at kissing, or what good kissing was. She had heard plenty of stuff about what it was from the age-inappropriate romantic fiction that Grenda brought to every sleepover, but it was another thing to put it into practise. Another thing to try and impress the guy, to try and blow him away.

Pacifica Northwest, struggling to impress someone?

Stupid Dipper.

Her personal hero who had saved her butt. Twice. Or thrice. Actually, she wasn’t really sure how many times Dipper had picked her out of the gutter now. Metaphorically, anyway. She was pretty sure Dipper couldn’t lift her.

Sadly, though, even with the first person she’d ever loved nearby, there were some things the Shack could never replicate.

In fact, if there was one thing it could be said that she missed, it was space. She missed living in a big, open, airy house that you could get lost in. The joy of her own company wasn’t unknown to her growing up, and it was of little surprise she still had that loner instinct.

She had made her own hobbies. She had made her own life, her own skill set – paid off by her parents through a selection of credit card bills. But there was one that stood out in particular – and it wasn’t her talent at chubby Bunnies. (25 marshmallows, baby. Try and beat that.)

Most probably wouldn’t expect it of a high class fashionista, but one of Pacifica’s many talents sat privately in a virtual world, connected through high end fiber optic cable and a multi-core superfast gaming rig that her parents had thought was for studying.

Pacifica Northwest was not just Pacifica Northwest – online, she was the infamous PlatinumPaz – the ruthless level 100, state-wide leading player that stormed the battlegrounds in an almost unbeaten record.

It was something she had never really dared to share with her new family. Especially when she didn’t even have her set up in the building. Her trigger fingers itched, and, at times, her lack of gaming fix was seriously bugging her.

Yeah, she loved her adventures with the twins and she loved work (sort of) but she needed that fix.

 A little bit of alone time with her hunched over a desk aiming for that specific pixel on the screen.

Yeesh, if only Dipper knew after the amount of times she had called him a nerd.

He was a nerd though.

Kinda cute, too.

She smiled a little, looking at the ceiling vacantly as she got dressed...

Anyway – since Greasy’s had reopened, Pacifica had seen no small boost to her finances in tips alone. As trainee manager she got to boss people around a bit and felt more grown up and responsible than ever. But regardless of how accomplished life felt at the moment – no matter how well she was doing - kicking off her shoes at the end of the day and sitting alone in a dark room, hunched over a computer with a supply of Pitt Cola, that was a luxury she couldn’t help but crave.

It was her vice. Her habit.

No matter how many times she got the joy of watching Mabel attempt to redecorate the shack with macaroni, glitter and acrylic paints, or Soos attempting to install that hot tub, or Ford trying to decipher old runes… or Dipper trying his best to impress her by pretending to be suave, it played on her.

She missed it. But how could she explain that to this family? She knew Dipper was a bit of a geek and Ford probably even more of one, but they probably wouldn’t be able to even tell a Deathslayer and a Demoncaster apart!

She almost considered going to the arcade, but that place, its sticky flaws and run down cabinets were no place for a Northwest to be seen. She might be an honorary Pines, now, but she still had a reputation. She was still the fashionable Pacifica, leading newspaper column and wearing the best she possibly could.

That… was still her reputation, wasn’t it? She wasn’t just Dipper’s girlfriend, right? She wasn’t just an add-on to the town hero…

No. She couldn’t be.

She was Pacifica Pines.

No, no wait – Northwest. Pacifica Northwest.

When she sat down with the twins, most of those worries were gone in a millisecond. Why bother getting worked up over videogames when you have two kids, just like you, who end up going off on bizarre adventures with a second notice?

How could that ever compare to her latest skullsword, retrieved from the game’s ultimate quest only a month ago – or her flame armour that provided +250 defence for every foe she slayed for a solid minu-

Nope. Nope. Get it out of your mind, Pacifica.

You don’t need that skullsword. You don’t need to kill anymore level 89 Bogworms to impress the other players and up your rank. Or collect those bogworm skins to craft a cape-

Get it out of your mind, Pacifica! Just because you have freedom now doesn’t mean you can do what you want!

“Uh… Paz, are you okay?”

Oops. She had faded off for a minute there. “Sorry. I’m fine, Dip. But it’s-“

“Pazzzz!” Mabel grinned, before hitting her with a pillow from the armchair.

“Ew! That’s touched your Grunkle’s butt! Get it away from me!” Pacifica laughed, trying to fight the hyperactive Pines twin off, before the inevitable pillow war began.

Chapter Text

It was only just crossing into afternoon when Grunkle Stan took back his pillow and rightful place in the armchair, chugging the can in his hand with his usual gusto. “Hey, Kid. Your folks called.”

Pacifica was picking feathers out of her hair, tapping away on her phone with Dipper alongside her – nose deep in his books. Again. “Mom and Dad? Really?”

“Yeah.” Stan said, picking the pieces of peach pulp from his teeth. The new ‘squishy Pitt’ variety was no great shakes. “They figured that if you’re sure you want to stay, they’ll drop off some stuff.”

Oh wow. That was amazing. She could have her stuff back! She could get those silk sheets, her wardrobe, her…

Her PC.

Her game.

Her virtual life.

A mixture of excitement and fear hit pretty hard. She glanced at Dipper, still intently nose deep in his book.

“Um. Sure, that’d be great, if it’s okay?”

“I couldn’t care less, Blondie. I told ‘em to bring a few hundred dollar bills but, eh, they didn’t seem too keen. I don’t think your folks like me much.”

Ford laughed as he walked past the hallway with a box of circuits and transistors. “Yes, Stanley, people generally don’t like it when you hit them with-“

“-With an offer of friendship, out of the blue!” Stan grinned, motioning for Ford to get out of there.

Pacifica just shook her head and smiled. “I’m not an idiot, Mr. Pines.”

Stan grinned and ruffled her hair. “They’ll be here later. Make yourself at home, kid.”

At 2PM, the black Rolls Royce arrived, fully laden with boxes and cases – and Pacifica’s two parents. Preston Northwest wearing his familiar grimace and naturally dismissive demeanour – while Priscilla seemed more concerned than angry.

Pacifica cautiously stepped out to meet them on the porch, her hands in her pockets – and her eyes failing to make contact.

What would they say? How would they react? They’d already summoned freaking ghosts to try and stop her living her own life. What now?

Instead, her parents said very little. They simply began unpacking, barely looking at their daughter.

It was then that Priscilla looked up, gave a faded smile and walked towards Pacifica.

Her first thought was to go indoors, to relative safety – but she stood her ground. If mom wanted to talk to her? Fine. So be it. She was staying and that was that.

“Honey, are you sure this is what you want?” Priscilla scoffed, looking up at the ramshackle hut.

“I’m certain of it, mom.” Pacifica replied – barely acknowledging her father as he joined his wife ahead of them – much to his chagrin. “This is my home, now.”

It was here that Dipper walked up alongside and took Pacifica’s hand. The two Elder Northwests recoiled, staring at the Pines boy with disgust, prompting a smug little smile from their daughter.

Preston crouched down and spoke in a hushed voice. “Pacifica, that peasant boy is grabbing you… does he want money or food or something?”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Preston’s eyes widened as he stood back up, staring at the two. “And you don’t think we should have been asked?”

Dipper looked at Pacifica, then back at her father. “...Why?”

“Well!” Preston stammered. “She’s our daughter! Pacifica, we didn’t raise you to have you… gallivanting and lollygagging with a member of the working class!”

There was a pause as the two wealthy parents looked up to see Stan standing behind the two kids – his arms crossed and knuckle dusters clear on show.

Preston twisted his lip and took a step back. “Fine. We’ve brought your computer and some of your other… things.” He clicked his finger as the last box was dropped upon the floor, before twisting on his heel and walking back to the car, chuntering under his breath.

Priscilla waited until her husband was out of earshot, then crouched and held Pacifica’s cheek. She and her daughter had always been a touch closer than Preston had been – and, even through her obsessions with competition, success and beauty, there was still a conscience somewhere in there. “You know where I am if you need me.”

Pacifica looked back to Dipper and Stan. Then at her parents. “I don’t think I do.”

“Then I want you to know, I was proud to see you at the reopening of that… Diner.” Priscilla replied, twisting her lip before giving a smile – a reluctant smile that broadened, ever so slightly, from her somewhat inflexible, botox filled face. She hugged Pacifica, and returned to the car, without another word.

The hugs Pacifica received from her family were stiff and impassionate, like those staged for the press. A far cry from the impulsive, loving and comfortable warmth the Pines gave her, no matter the occasion or emotion.

It was hard for her not to feel like she had made the correct decision. There was something about her family’s chemistry that seemed to sap and suck any feelings of happiness in Pacifica’s mind – something depressing and difficult.

Preston narrowed his eyes as he glared to Stan, who just gave him a wink and a broad grin.

“Cockfoster. Take us home. Away from this… mess.”

“Very droll, Sir.”

Pcifica couldn’t resist one last little dig. “Hey dad!”

Preston turned to see his daughter grabbing and kissing the Pines boy, in clear view of them both. “…Ugh.”

Dipper murmured in surprise, before slowly, hesitantly, fearfully curling his arms around Pacifica’s waist and pulling her close, his eyes still wide and his cheeks flushed. At moments like this, Dipper Pines and his insomniac brain still felt rather light headed at the fact any of this was still happening.

Pacifica Northwest, the Lil’ Miss Gravity Falls for six years running – the girl he used to utterly despise – was now his girlfriend. He had started the rebellion within her, and that rebellion had led them together.

Even if it did seem like they were eternally linked via ghosts and mysteries. And he didn’t even have the nerve to outright say he loved her.

Why was that so difficult for him to say? Why was he so scared of looking at the girl he was kissing and saying ‘I love you’?

What if, through all of this, she didn’t feel the same way? He knew it was ridiculous to even consider it, but his head buzzed around the idea constantly. Relationships were unfamiliar territory. Even friendships were a bit... odd for him. This? This was another level, and it humiliated him. It frustrated him.

He loved Pacifica Northwest and he couldn’t even say it.

He sighed gently and held her tighter. By the time the car turned the corner and left their view, the two kids were firmly looped together, standing on the porch with barely the slightest awareness.

They barely even recognised Mabel’s incessant camera clicking.

Chapter Text

Pacifica was buzzing with excitement by the time the car had turned the corner, out of view. “Did you see that? I did that right in front of them! That was awesome!”

She grinned, jumping on the spot with the sheer adrenaline pumping through her veins. What a rush! She had just announced Dipper as her boyfriend and kissed him in front of them – and they couldn’t say a word!

Dipper stared, blankly. “Y…yeah, it sure was...”

Pacifica giggled. “Dude, are you going to be like this when we’re both, like, twenty?”

“Like what?”

She grinned and tapped his nose. “Acting like it’s a surprise I’m kissing you.”

“Well of course it’s surprising, I mean you’re-“

“Yes?”

“You’re…”

“Yesss…?”

“Y’know what, Nevermind.”

Pacifica rolled her eyes, smiled and took Dipper’s hand. “You can stop being so nervous, Dip.”

Mabel laughed out loud behind them, prompting them to jump out of their skins. “That’s like him telling you to stop dyeing your hair!”

“I do not dye my hair!”

“You totally dye your hair. It’s just so ingrained you don’t remember it. Just like Dip being nervous.”

“I do not!”

While the two were squabbling, Dipper headed for the boxes. His curiosity was overwhelming – what, exactly, did Pacifica own? He had never actually been into her bedroom.

Yeesh. That would be an unnerving experience. Imagine if this had been the other way round, and he was staying with the Northwests?

Blech.

He chose the largest of the cardboard packages – who wouldn’t? - And looked inside.

“Hey!” Paz shouted, running to him. “Hey wait, don’t-“

“A computer?” Dipper blinked. “Paz, this is a gaming rig.”

“What?! No it isn’t! It’s- it’s my school computer, that’s all.”

“Your school computer does not need a gaming headset, or LEDs, or a cooling system, or a big sticker saying ‘Gamers Only’.”

“Dipper.”

“Or all of this licensed gear.” He continued.

“Dipper.” Pacifica held her temples.

“Or this stack of video games-“

“Dipper! Enough!”

“Since when have you been into video games?!” Dipper felt almost betrayed. He could have been playing games with his girlfriend all this time?

He could have kept in contact with Pacifica after Summer?

Like… not that he’d have wanted to.

In hindsight, he meant.

Why else would he have spoken to the Northwest girl before now, right?

But anyway, his girlfriend was a gamer?! His girlfriend was a ga-

Wait.

“Is… is that Bloodcraft? Paz, you play Bloodcraft?” He gawked, grabbing it from the pile of games. “Bloodcraft: Overdeath?”

“I-I-I- I Play sometimes, okay!” Pacifica stammered, trying to grab the box from him.

“No way, no way, we aren’t dropping this. What level? What faction? What’s your handle?!”

There was a pause. A long, awkward pause. The girl’s mind was racing. What lie could she come up with? What sort of rubbish could she replace it with? Was there any point?

No. This was it. This was the grand confession.

“I’m a Deathslayer.” She finally replied. “Level 100.”

Dipper stared, his jaw agape. A fabled level 100? The highest in the game? The elite?

“My name is PlatinumPaz.”

A stunned silence followed, Dipper staring at the sheepish blonde in front of him. “You killed me. You’ve killed me in the Wilderness! Like, at least six times!”

“Heh, yeah I guess I’ve sorta… killed everyone once or twice.” She smiled, rubbing her arm. “Sorry.”

“You’re like… legendary. Your character’s amazing!” Dipper grabbed Pacifica’s shoulders. “You’re one of the world’s leading players and you’ve never told me?!”

“Okay, so, Number One – hands off the jacket. Number Two, I spent a lot of time at home, okay? I’ve been playing for years. That’s all.”

“No, no, you don’t understand – you could go professional! You could make money!”

Stan appeared out of nowhere, as was his way whenever the mighty green was mentioned. “I heard making money. What’s going on and how do I get involved?”

“There’s a gaming tournament next week and Pacifica could thrash everyone with her pinkie.”

“I’m not thrashing anyone with my pinkie. Or any of my fingers. I don’t do competitive.” Pacifica crossed her arms and twisted her lip. “I’d really rather not. I could maybe teach you some tricks, Dipper, but..."

Grunkle Stan grinned and slapped Dipper on the back. “Great! We can earn the million dollars easy!”

Dipper jumped and rubbed his back. “Nobody brought up a million dollars. The prize money is not a million dollars.”

“Hundred thousand?”

“Probably not.” Dipper sighed. “Probably a few hundred bucks, tops.”

“The food bill for two weeks and it gets you all out of my hair for a while. I'll take it!" Stan beamed. "Blondie, get this one trained up to top quality, huh?”

Pacifica was eager not to go through any of this. “Mr. Pines, I could pay the food bills myself.”

“But then Dip doesn’t get to humiliate a load of other sweaty teenagers. No offence, Dippy.” Stan grinned, adjusting his fez with his cane.

Mabel was all too happy to provide enough excitement for her brother and his girlfriend. “I wanna play!" She squealed, snatched the box from Dipper's hand. "Wowww, you can be a cat lady! Paz is a nerd just like Dipper!”

“I am not!” Pacifica laughed.

“Yeah,” Grunkle Stan smirked. “If she’s so much better than him, she’s a bigger nerd! Ha!”

The three of them set the thing up together on the living room table, trailing all manner of cables from behind the television. By the time it was switched on, the entire extended family was staring at the thing.

Soos was, as ever, impressed. “Dude, that setup is like… the most amazing thing I’ve seen this week.”

“Yesterday it was you getting two flavour packets in your instant noodles.” Melody smiled, her hand trailing up and down his back.

“They ration those things, Melody. Papa Soos beat the system. Those noodles were like, flavour city.”

Ford was more exasperated. “You have a computer this powerful – a thousand, ten thousand times more powerful than I have in my laboratory, and you use it to play games?!”

Paz was trying not to get irritated. Not an easy task when everybody is crowding around you. “Games take a lot of power.”

“When I last checked they came on cassettes!” Ford protested. “What on Earth could require this sort of processing other than a spacecraft?”

“Times have changed, Uncle Ford. You still have trouble with mobile phones.” Dipper chuckled.

“The world should be using these things for science, not leisure.” His Grunkle snorted, nose in the air. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my basement using technology properly.”

“He’s going to play Dinkey Ape.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“I am not going to play Dinkey Ape!”

“He pretends he doesn’t have it down there, but he does.” Stan snarked, taking a big gulp from his can of Pitt. “Now, c’mon Paz, get the kid trained up.”

“Pacifica.”

“Whatever.”

Chapter Text

Pacifica wasn’t the most enthusiastic at instructing people. She just played the game as she always did. That was enough to amaze Dipper, mind.

Pacifica was way better than him. Way better. He was, what, a level 34? He’d spent most of the past two years at home working hard for that level. Here, his girlfriend was on servers he’d never seen, making mulch out of enemies he’d only dreamed of beating.

And the tactics! She was like an entirely different person. She knew all of the enemy’s weaknesses, all of the crafting recipes – even the labyrinthine maps seemed second nature to her.

When he wasn’t watching her play, he was watching her. She was amazing. She was perfect! She was a nerd, just like him, and an amazing one!

Dipper felt an urge to throw his arms around her. It was like he was falling in love with her all over again – without the confusion and class divide - but his girlfriend barely even noticed him. She was in the zone, back at the head of her guild, kicking ass, drinking Pitt and taking names. And she was all out of Pitt.

After a few hours, she shadowed Dipper to see what he had to learn - and quickly started losing patience. “Oh my God, Dipper, don’t pick up the bones! You want the skins, so you can make some new boots! Don’t trade with that guy- No, the gilded armour is a scam! Come on, Dip!”

“Look, I’m- I’m not the most experienced player, alright?!”

“Obviously!  Look, just hand it over to m- aaand now you’re dead.”

Dipper headbutted the desk and sighed. “I swear, it’s the DLC.”

“You can’t go into this tournament, you’ll be thrashed. I’ve got guild members that are like, twelve, who are better than you!”

“Hey! We were twelve only last year!”

“And now we aren’t. So we can say it.” Paz smiled, her arms crossed. “Sheesh. I dunno how much I can teach you in a week.”

“My turn! My turn!” Mabel grinned, pulling Dipper’s chair away from the table. “I wanna be the cat lady. I’m going to get me a hot prince!”

Dipper and Pacifica rolled their eyes and smiled.

“Fine, Mabel. Let’s see watcha got.” Paz chuckled, expecting this to go even worse.

Mabel grinned and started making her character bright pink.

Four hours had passed. There was a stack of empty Pitt cans teetering precariously on the table, and the trio were still crowded round – with Mabel still in the chair.

 Dipper was feeling utterly ashamed.

Pacifica was utterly amazed.

Mabel was utterly oblivious, having just crossed over level 30 and now entering the starter server’s final stronghold.

“Boom! Check out my Gold armour! Shiny shiny shiny!” Mabel grinned. “And look, I can make him dance!”

“Jeez, Mabel, you’ve really never played before?” Pacifica asked.

“Never. I thought this stuff was just for dorks, but I can ride dragons and burn things! Am I doing okay?”

“You’re amazing. It’s like you’re a natural!” Pacifica replied excitedly. She never thought the day would come where she’d be congratulating Mabel, or impressed by her. The fact the older Pines twin was already climbing the ranks so quickly was mind blowing, especially after Dipper’s somewhat meager performance. That tournament was in the bag, and she didn’t even have to play.

Dipper sighed. He felt… well, a little left out. He decided to leave the two to it, his hands in his pockets and eyes to the floor.

Upstairs, his Grunkle Stan was chasing a gnome with a broomstick. “Get out of here, you little rat! Stealing my gold chains, huh? I could let you off of the first two, but this is far enough!”

“Shmebulock!”

“Yeah, yeah, Shmebu get fuc- Oh. Dippy, you alright?”

Dipper sighed, watching the gnome zip out of the door. “What do you do if somebody is better than you at something, Grunkle Stan?”

“Normally I’ll fight ‘em.” Stan said, wiping his brow and leaning on the broomstick. “Or spend my time practicing behind their back for the glory.”

“Huh.” Even if Dipper was the sort to fight, Pacifica and Mabel could both probably wipe the floor with him. But practicing? Sure, that he could do. It wasn’t like sleep was in any way a constant for him the first place.

Dipper continued meandering, aimlessly, around the shack as the two girls played together. Why was this bothering him so damned much? It was only a game – but he was being absolutely thrashed by his sister, who had never played before, and his girlfriend, who was practically a world champion.

It felt weird. Like he was meant to be better than them.

Ford shortly called him into the laboratory for some help with his latest project, and there, surrounded by transistors and generous piles of discarded lithium, he crouched over a small multiplug.

“Dipper! I need you to help me solder these last wires. This could revolutionise the energy industry. Or at least save us a few hundred dollars on the energy bill.”

“A multiplug?”

“Aha, yes, it might resemble a multiplug, but in here is a perpetual motion dynamo. This this doesn’t need to be plugged in – it can power things plugged into it! I’ve taken it from one of my old high-school designs – rudimentary, really – and connected it to a small magnet coil motor. All I have to do is plug in and away we go!”

Dipper was immediately fascinated and got to work soldering for his grunkle. “So it can power anything?”

“My boy, think of it as an enormous battery. This baby could power an aircraft.” Ford paused impressively. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. How tough is the security at the airfield?”

“Is it ready to be used now?” Dipper asked as he melted the last piece of solder. A power source, far away from everyone. He could use that. Nobody would have to know.

“Almost certainly.” Ford gave a confident grin. “Well. At least, 90% certainly.”

“That’s perfect!”

“Perfect for what?”

“Oh. Nothing.”

The plan was already set up in Dipper’s head. Get up at midnight, take the rig downstairs and try to catch up with Paz – and work his skill up against his sister. He’d impress his girlfriend, be chief nerd again and he could win the tournament.

What could possibly go wrong? Ford’s experiments always worked!

Chapter Text

“Oh Dipper, you won! You’re so smart! And manly. Wow, I could just, like, marry you!” Pacifica grinned, hanging onto Dipper’s arm while his other hand held the enormous gold trophy, a sash across his chest proudly displaying ‘World Champion’.  

The entire town was cheering him, his face on international television screens, confetti flying from the fighter jets they had commissioned especially for this ground breaking event.

“Oh yeah, babe.” Dipper replied in a deep, masculine voice. “You and me, together forever.”

“Finally.” She simpered, holding him tighter. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Let’s go get married right now! I can’t wait to make out with the world’s best gamer!”

Buh.

Dipper snapped awake in a cold sweat. Jeez, that… that was a strange one.

He wiped his brow and checked the clock, happy to see it was only just scraping towards midnight. The entire shack was in darkness, Ford and Stan’s snoring masking any sounds elsewhere in the building.

It was just Dipper, darkness and the rats. Perfect!

…Kinda.

He tip toed downstairs and started taking the rig into the laboratory, piece by piece, grunting with exertion thanks to the weight of that luxury carbon carbide case. He was being as cautious as he could, one step at a time, so as not to risk shattering Pacifica’s prized possession.

This was important. If he caused any damage he could pay for it with the winnings, he reasoned.

It was a full hour later by the time he had reassembled everything and prepared the Stanford Electric Unit  (as it was now labelled). He cracked his fingers, popped on his lucky hat, opened a can of soda and took a deep breath.  

“Okay. I’ve got until about 8. That’s good for…seven hours of practice time. This should be a piece of cake.”

…

“Probably need to stop talking to myself.”

It was just a case of plugging it in, starting the PC and getting to work.

He could do this.

He had to do this. In his mind, Pacifica could be so ashamed of him she could lose interest. And then what would he do? Have another girl he fawned over who wasn’t into him?

Unthinkable. He needed to prove to people that he could do this.

Level 100? He’d be level 200 after tonight.

Easy.

He plugged in the PC and listened as the Stanford Dynamo began to whirr into life, slowly powering up. The computer turned on flawlessly.

It worked! He tried not to shout in triumph before taking out the disc and slipping it into the unit.

This was it.

Wait, a new update?

Cool! He’d get even further ahead! Sure, he’ll download that.

Stanford was fast asleep, clutching a Richard Feynman book in his hands, snoring quietly to himself – dreaming of grand adventures.

He was getting older. That much he accepted; he felt rougher around the edges than he used to – the things he’d seen and recorded across the Ocean with his brother, though, that made it worthwhile.

Stanford and Stanley Pines – twin adventurers. True, bona-fide adventurers that were changing the world, one step at the time.

Imagine the papers he could write – the success he finally had in his grasp.

Perhaps then he could finally come clean; return to the family properly, and reconnect with the world he had left behind.

All in good time. It ha been thirty years since he could sleep so well. It had become a blissful refuge, a time to think unbridled, as opposed to a time of vulnerability, paranoia and fear.

He stirred awake slowly as the lights in his bedroom began to flicker and pop, the odd spark coming from socket outlets and appliances around him.

“What the?”

The entire family was standing there in the corridor, staring at the pulsing lights through bleary, sleep filled eyes.

Bzzt – bzzt – bzzt

“Something’s wrong.” Ford grimaced. “This isn’t right.”

“Stop the presses, Sixer. We can see it isn’t right.” Stan snapped. “Any idea what it is?”

“No clue. But something’s causing a power surge.”

Suddenly, there came a loud, electronic bang, followed by the unmistakably metallic smell of an electrical fire. The shack was in darkness.

Pacifica flinched and grabbed hold of Mabel. “Wha- what’s going on? I don’t think I like this!”

“Don’t worry, Paz. Probably just a blackout.” Mabel smiled reassuringly, but her tone didn't support it.

“No blackout I know.” Stan said. “I bet it’s one of your electrical doohickies, Ford.”

“Can’t be. Nothing has been left turned on. My laboratory follows fire codes, unlike your Mystery Shack downstairs.”

“...Mr. Pines, do you always sleep fully dressed..?” Pacifica asked, eyeing Ford in his trenchcoat, jumper and boots.

“Force of habit, Northwest. You never know when you’ll be needed for action.”

“He doesn’t wash them, either.” Stan smirked.

“Quiet.”

Stan had no wish to start investigating at 1AM, and promptly went back to bed – but Mabel and Pacifica had noticed there was no sign of Dipper waking up – and had a feeling something wasn’t quite right.

Together with Stanford – who Pacifica still noticed had an odd, clomping walk that she hadn’t noticed last Summer – they went down into the laboratory, where a gentle grey smoke billowed from the PC tower set up in the centre of the room.

“My Computer!. “Wh-what is it doing here?!”

Mabel gasped as a slightly scorched Corduroy lumberjack hat floated down, landing on Pacifica’s head. “Aw, it suits you!”

…

“Wait. Where’s Dipper?”

Stanford stared at the multiplug and kicked it gently with his foot. “Something’s gone rogue. It’s not meant to sound like this.”

“But where’s Dipper?!” Snapped Pacifica.

Mabel peered into the PC screen. “Uh… Pacifica?”

DipPin1999: What the
DipPin1999: where am I?
DipPin1999: What the?!
DipPin1999: HELP!
[Player Name: DipPin1999 Was Captured by LORD FOO QWALL]

The two kids stared, then looked at each other, before glaring at Stanford.

“What did your weird multi plug do?!” Pacifica shouted. "Dipper's just been captured by some sort of new boss!"

Ford scratched his head, more impressed than worried. “Amazing. Can you communicate with him?”

Pacifica rolled her eyes and started typing furiously.

PlatinumPaz: Dipper? Dipper are you there?
DipPin1999: HELP!
PlatinumPaz: Where are you?!
DipPin1999: A BIRDCAGE IN A CASTLE!
PlatinumPaz: What?
[LORD FOO QWALL IS SUMMONING PLATINUMPAZ, MABELPINPOP1999 AND STANFORD]

The three flinched and looked to eachother. That was a little disconcerting.

“Did the game seriously just speak to us?” Pacifica gulped. “And was that really…Dipper?”

Mabel stared. “I think he’s like… in the game.”

“W-well how do we get him out?”

Stanford rubbed his chin. “I’d guess we need to accept that summons. Enter the game ourselves, as it were.”

Pacifica held her temples. “This is insane.”

Mabel shrugged. “This is our life, Paz. We’ve been through a pinball machine.”

Pacifica blinked and stared at Mabel. She was tempted to ask but figured it was best to concentrate on the fact that Dipper had been captured by the fictional Lord of the Underworld.

“Well.” Stanford sighed, grabbing a few of his weapons. “I guess I had better sort this mess out. As usual.”

“You?” Pacifica scoffed. “You’ve never even played!”

“But I have been around other dimensions for thirty years, young lady.”

“This isn’t a dimension. It’s a video game.” She replied, through gritted teeth. “You go in there and die – then what? Who knows what could happen! I know this game inside and out – you won’t make it in there, Mr. Pines. It’s brutal!”

“Pah. I’ll have him out of there before morning.” Stanford pushed the two kids away and furrowed his brow. “I accept your summons, you foul demon! I will enter this realm!” He shouted, his fist raised.

An awkward pause filled the room.

“You have to click ‘accept’.” Pacifica sighed.

“Ah. Of course.” Stanford clicked the button. He almost immediately remembered that it wasn’t just him being summoned by whatever force lurked inside that plastic disc.

He yelled for the kids to get out of there – but it was too late.

The dynamo wound into life, whirring away as the computer began to shudder and shake, wrapping itself in a deep, blue light, until, with the blink of an eye -

BANG!

They were gone, with a gentle wisp of smoke and a muffled crackle – only the smell of a small electric fire.

Chapter Text

Stanford hit the floor with a hefty thump. The smell of sulfur and brimstone flooded his nostrils, oozing across the atmosphere in fiery blasts of gas and vapour from the bizarre, volcanic desert that surrounded him, with a dark, burgundy sky and black clouds. Towering ruins dotted across mountains and cliff faces, with gigantic, savage worms writhing through caverns, and tiny, ramshackle settlements dotting the landscape alongside the odd treacle like water source.

The entire world seemed apocalyptic and putrid – something of little surprise to a man who had spent thirty years through other realms of existence.

He dusted off his jacket and started walking towards the grand castle in the centre.

A terrible structure, it was – towering hundreds of times over the mountain ranges, surrounded by bats.

Ford figured that was his target.

This was going to be easy.

A mere moment later, he was headbutted by a level 5 Abyssal Sheep that sent him falling flat on his face.

“Hang on Mr. Pines!” Pacifica shouted, running at the creature and kicking it. “It’s weak to kicks!”

“Most animals do tend to be.” Ford chuckled, sitting up as the abyssal creature disappeared before their eyes. “Is this what the game is? Killing defenseless animals?”

Pacifica picked up the bones and perfectly trimmed mutton chops that lay on the ground. “Kinda. We also have to craft armour and fight dragons.”

Ford raised an eyebrow. “And what will you uh… craft with that?”

“Food, duh. That thing just took fifty health of you.”

Mabel held up a brand new sweater, having already made quick work of the abyssal wool. “Woop woop, I’m already up a crafting level!”

“Nice work, Mabel. We’ll… uh, be ready to take on Foo Qwall in no time.” Pacifica patted Mabel’s back, doubtfully. “Now come on, it’s about time we started training.”

Ford dusted himself off. “Can we not just take him straight away?”

“We’ll need decent armour first, Mr. Pines. And some weapons. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re all booted up and we only have our pyjamas.”

“Then lead away, Miss Northwest.” Ford smiled. “At least until we get our bearings.”

“And I want a replacement for my grapping hook.” Mabel said. “I feel naked without it.”

“You can be our archer, then.” Pacifica smirked.

“Whaaaaat? No way!” Mabel scoffed. “I wanna be a wizard.”

“We don’t need a-“

“Fine, a Wizard Archer!”

“Eh…I guess that’ll work.”

They started on their travels – and Ford found himself analyzing every minute detail of this bizarre new plane he’d found himself within. Other dimensions were one thing – this, however, this was truly unworldy. A place of little restriction and even less logic.

The place was a strange one, even for Ford. It would rain fire every so often – a so called ‘random event’, and, to make matters stranger, you could become flame retardant with the use of a blue vial.

The NPCs would stare at him blankly and trade without moving. Crafting and creation would involve selecting an item, hitting it with a hammer and then receiving the finished goods. There was no other intelligent being before them – all were just husks, items of code and polygons that spoke via script.

It was a bizarre, strangely uninvolved little world that didn’t make a lick of sense. Most dimensions Ford had visited were ruled by a certain logic, but this? This was nonsensical. And, to a man with a certain level of existential understanding, it was terrifying.

By the time they were in the middle of a mine, he was beginning to lose patience.

“How long does it take to make armour? This is more work than work!”

“You have to be patient for these things, Mr. Pines.” Pacifica laughed. “At least we don’t have to actually hit the rock.”

“And these weird low poly pickaxes weigh nothing! Look, I can carry this on my pinkie. I’m super strong!” Mabel grinned. “This is awesome!”

“This is strange, confusing and pointless.” Ford snapped. “Dipper could be getting gutted by now.”

“Trust me, Mr. Pines. I know what I’m doing. There isn’t any urgency in games like this, okay?”

---

 “Agh! Get away, get away!” Dipper trashed in his cage as an eyeball with eight legs crawled across his knee.

A deep, booming voice came from the shadows – an echoing, thundering tone that made the building shake, and Dipper’s cage swing idly on its hook. Dust fell from the ceiling with every syllable – an intimidating, otherworldly presence that had no visual, no mouth from which it spoke – simply a cacophonic, unyielding fury.

Ah, you’re awake.

“I’ve been awake this entire time, man. Would really appreciate some context here.”

For too long, we have been trapped in this world, mortal. Now, you must suffer with us!

Dipper blinked. “I’m pretty sure millions of people are trapped in it, too. I know people who play this game more than they’ve ever bathed. I’m one of them.”

And yet, we have never experienced yours!

“Surprised you’d want to, really.”

So we shall! We shall lure your puny friends to my castle, trap you all, and take your place in the mortal world!

“Seriously? Real life sucks. Are you even speaking as yourself or is this a scripted event?”

Silence!

Dipper rolled his eyes and slapped the eyeball spider out of his cage. “Whatever.”

The caverns dripped blood from their enormous stalactites, with rivers of fire flowing beneath the precarious plates of volcanic Earth. For all intents and purposes, Dipper was alone – the disembodied voice hardly counted.

Everything around him in that deep red, rocky hollow was draped in moisture, dripping and glistening. It was like a sewer filed with offal, stinking of rotten meat, decay and burning.

Dipper rested his head in his hands and tried to block out the putrid smell.

DipPin1999: This guy is a jerk.
PlatinumPaz: Dip? Are u okay?
MabelPinPop1999: Whoaaa, your username is Paz, Paz!
PlatinumPaz: Shut up.
DipPin1999: I’m fine. He’s just monologuing. Something about getting into our world and that jazz.
Stanford: How is this even working?
MabelPinPop1999: Paz paz paz paz paz paz paz
Stanford: Who’s Paz?
PlatinumPaz: OHMYGOD.

He was sure they’d get themselves together eventually, right?

…Right?

Chapter Text

“So the Gold armour is stronger than the iron armour?” Ford held the bridge of his nose, as if this slight was simply too much for him to comprehend.

“For the last time, yes!” Pacifica snapped. “It’s one of the strongest until we can start wearing slayer armour.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense! It’s like wrapping yourself in tin foil!”

“Which is why I’m the slayer and not you, Mr.Pines! I know what I’m doing!”

Ford and Paz were not coping well together; perhaps it was the fact Ford was just so much like Dipper. Stubborn, a smart ass and difficult to argue with. A man who was sure he had the answers, and any he didn’t, he could find the answers for - desperately, constantly seeking logic and theory in even the most ridiculous of contexts.

A man who was desperate to record and learn from everything, to mould the word to his view. The problem was that with Ford, the knowledge and experience was there. The man was hardly well acquainted with kids and collaboration at the best of times.

There was a certain… arrogance to him. Pacifica found it infuriating. She’d never been arrogant in her life!

…Right?

It was aggravating. There was no bigger picture here. No universal theory of weirdness. This was just a game. It didn’t have logic or rules in the same way as the outer world, and the sooner Ford could learn it, the better.

Mabel, meanwhile, was crafting arrows. A butt-ton, in her words, of arrows. She had opted for ice arrows as they were blue, glowed a lot and could extinguish fires. She figured that was pretty useful when everything in Bloodcraft seemed so... red, and smokey. Even better, though, was that she could tie lengths of rope to them and use them like her grappling hook, and they matched her purple robes perfectly.

“What armour are you choosing, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel smiled, hanging upside down from the rafter of the blacksmith.

“I don’t need armour or potions, Mabel.” Ford laughed. “I’ve been through worse than this off of my own back – all we need to do is get your brother out of the cage and leave this madness behind.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Pacifica smirked. “Is it really like this all the time for the Pines family?”

Ford grinned. “You’ve no idea. So what exactly is the next target?”

“Bogworms.” Pacifica replied, matter of factly.

“What?”

“Bogworms. They’re giant worms that live in a cave. Give pretty good experience and what we need for the slayer armour.” Pacifica grinned, now fully armoured up. “Then we should be able to try it against the final boss.”

Mabel grinned. “I’m going to kick those worms’ butt! Do worms have butts? Either way, I’ll kick ‘em!”

The Bogworm cavern was every bit as unpleasant as it sounded.

Every bit as unwelcoming in appearance, smell and atmosphere as the rest of this bizarre world. It was murky and amphibious – filthy and glowing a soft, turquoise hue – a natural luminescence that felt, by nature, threatening and unworldly.

The sound of flowing water did little to make it feel cleaner or fresher – the unseen liquid only made the area feel more repugnant.

Of course, the giant worms were of little help. Monstrous things, writhing in a constant flow of slippery, slathering movements, with circular mouths lined in several layers of prickled, thorn like teeth, dripping in green bile and slick with mucus.

Mabel held her hand over her mouth. “Those are gross...”

Pacifica smirked. “Kick their butts, Mabel. You got this.”

“I kinda don’t wanna touch them...”

Ford rolled his eyes, and his sleeve, then walked over to one of the illness inducing invertebrates – promptly punching it in the underside of the ‘head’, sending the thing reeling. “Easy!”

The worm screeched as it fell to the floor. Stanford laid a foot on it, triumphantly – like a man who had shot a lion. “See? I may be an old man, but I could get through this with my eyes closed.”

It was then that the creature began to squirm underneath him.

Within the blink of an eye, the monster lunged at his foot, thrashing free and grabbing Ford’s ankle in his teeth, sinking its foremost fangs into him. Ford yelled in surprise and tried to wrestle it free with his bare hands, desperately trying to get a hold of the creature’s mucus covered body, before devolving into flailing and punching the thing in its numerous, glowing green eyeballs.

Pacifica yelled in surprise and tried to beat the thing with her sword to little avail, - before a glowing blue arrow shot through the worm with a squelch.

The creature froze solid instantly, allowing Stanford to break clear. Mabel cheered triumphantly, while Paz ran to the old man.

“Oh no, oh no, oh nonono – look, I have some Bogworm Acid Antidote-“ she began, shuffling through her inventory.

“My own fault. Foolish.” Ford smiled. “Don’t worry about the antidote.”

“That thing must have gone straight through your leg, Mr. Pines!”

Ford sighed. “And I wouldn’t feel it.”

He crouched down and rolled up his trouser leg, revealing a heavily gnawed wooden prosthetic, attached just under the knee. He yanked one the worm’s fangs from it and sighed, patting the artificial limb. “This is what adventuring – real adventuring - gets you, Pacifica. A lot of scars and a lot of loss.”

Pacifica gawked. “Wh-what happened to it?”

“An Arctic Stan Beast. That’s what Stanley called it, anyway. Teeth like razor blades, and a lot, lot larger.”

He idly scratched the kee just above the prosthetic before he sat down.

“Went after my brother first. I ran to his aid, but Stanley ran faster. The brute took off half my leg before we got it with a harpoon gun.”

It struck Pacifica how simply Stanford put the anecdote; as if it was the equivalent of another day in the office. She sort of figured losing a limb would be a little bit more… exciting for him.

It dawned on her how little she actually knew of Ford and Stan’s adventures across the oceans. What had actually happened to the two out there?

Would she ever actually know? Did the twins even know?

“Is adventuring really worth it?” Pacifica asked, finally. She had been wondering this from the start – why bother hunting these things down? Why bother seeking aggressive monsters to such an extent you lose a leg to it?

The Pines brothers weren’t getting any younger, and they were beginning to show more and more scars from their mishaps. Ford’s dilated, ghosted eye was a stark reminder of what exactly they had been through.

Worse, though, was the fact Dipper was following the same path. Perhaps in future it would be her boyfriend with a blind eye, or her boyfriend with a fake leg, or missing an arm, or worse! The idea panicked her. She already saw him beaten, cut and bruised far too often. Who knows what could come next?

Stanford rolled his trouser leg back down and thought for a moment.

“I think that everybody knows the unknown carries a risk, Pacifica. Everybody knows there’s a chance of death, or injury, or even an apocalyptic confrontation between dimensions. The thing is that we strive to discover for everybody, not just ourselves.

There was a time when I did it for personal glory and profit. But when you start facing these things with a family or a friend, you start learning that adventuring with someone you love – someone you care about, that’s worth losing a limb for.

And, I suppose, learning that the person at your side has got your back. That there is somebody brave, smart and strong enough to join you on these insane missions towards the strange and unpredictable. The past year has been, for all intents and purposes, the best year of my life.”

Pacifica sat back and smiled. “Yeah, I think I’m beginning to learn that bit.”

Ford didn’t need to ask. “Dipper thinks the world of you. He’d a bit... Odd and clammy, and prone to distraction, but you’re a lucky girl. He’ll do what he can to protect you, and his family. It’s second nature to him.”

Dipper had done plenty to save Pacifica. She was beginning to wonder if this was her turn to do the same for him – to really prove her worth to her new family.

The Pines probably saw her as a damsel. Not this time. This wasn’t ghosts, this was a game she knew inside or out. No matter how nerdy it was, Pacifica had every scrap of knowledge she needed to flatten the final boss and save Dipper alone.

She was sure of it.

“Hey!” Mabel shouted.

The two turned round to the sight of their Wizard Archer standing triumphantly atop a pile of dead Bogworms, attempting a victory dance while still trying to maintain her precarious balance.

“Told you I’d kick their butts. Now what do we do?”

Stanford raised an eyebrow. “Can you even get down from up there?”

“Silly Grunkle Ford. Of course I can’t!”

DipPin1999: How’s it going?
PlatinumPaz: Your sister just killed like 80 Bogworms and your Grunkle has a wooden leg
DipPin1999: FORD LOST HIS LEG?
DipPin1999: IS HE OKAY??
PlatinumPaz: He’s fine! It isn’t a new thing!
DipPin1999: Oh.
DipPin1999: I KNEW IT.
MabPinPop1999: Pazpazpazpazpaz
PlatinumPaz: Stop.
MabPinPop1999: Pazpazazpazpazpazpaz
PlatinumPaz: STOP.
MabPinPop1999: Pazpazpazpazpazpazpazpaz
[PlatinumPaz has muted MabPinPop1999 for 2hrs]

Chapter Text

Pacifica continued to take charge for the rest of the journey. The team had killed all manner of low-level NPCS, dined on lamb chops and knitted matching sweaters as they travelled the game’s bizarre, unpleasant landscape.

It had been hours since they’d entered.  At least, they thought it had been. It was a touch difficult to really work out what time it was, or how long it had even been in game-time. The world of Bloodcraft was an authentic time sink. All too easy to lose one’s self in.

The trio were largely, however, unaffected by their adventures. True, the monsters were a threat – but most of the tools and tasks resembled little more than a game of charades. There wasn’t much exertion provided they weren’t eaten by some sort of bizarre amalgamation of wildlife. Mabel had briefly taken up a medieval tongue, but quickly broke out of it once Pacifica threatened to mute her again.

In many ways the experience felt strangely hollow.

By the time they had taken to refuge in the final blacksmiths before the upcoming battle, they had managed to gather everything they needed to take on the enemy. It was just a case of making it.

“So when do I hit them with my arrows?” Mabel grinned.

Pacifica sighed. “You need to follow my lead, Mabel. I know what we need to do.”

“Duh, so do I! We go in, beat up the dude and save Dipper, then you both go and get married.”

“We aren’t getting married.” Pacifica smiled, adjusting her hair and looking away – a gentle pink hue on her cheeks. She really was a sucker for the teasing. Mabel treated it like a secret weapon.

“You’re totally getting married. After we save him and junk.” Mabel grinned. “And I’m going to be the best bridesmaid ever.”

Ford looked up at the enormous structure and held his chin. “How high does the tower go?”

“Pretty high, but ehhh... To be honest, the entire inside is probably gonna be another big cave.” Pacifica replied, hammering away.

“That’s a bit anti-climactic.”

“That’s video games for you – lots of reused assets.”

Mabel grinned. “Just like cartoons, and look how seriously people take them!”

Finally, the Northwest heir dropped the hammer – which fell to the floor with a clunk, despite weighing literally nothing and being made of out of code - and put her hands on her hips, proudly admiring her ‘handiwork’. “There. That should do it.”

Pacifica had crafted her favourite weapon. Now she was ready to dance.

The other two stared as Pacifica lifted an enormous, burning sword, with red bladed edges and gold gilding.

It roared as it was swung in the air, its owner now fully bedecked in red and silver armour, plated with armoured spikes and oversized shoulder pads.

Pacifica posed impressively with a broad grin. “How’s it look?”

Mabel blinked. “You look awesome.”

Pacifica grinned. “Don’t I always?”

“Not normally like… killer awesome.” Mabel beamed. “I want one.”

“You don’t need one. Like I said, Mabel, you need to follow my lead on this. You’re a wizard archer, not front line.”

Mabel tried to protest, but Pacifica was determined. She was going to save her boyfriend and prove herself as a Pines-tier adventurer. She was the one with the best weapons, the best armour and the most skills.

This was her turf, it was her fight, and she knew she had it in the bag.

By the time they had begun their track to the castle, Pacifica’s determination was beginning to get the better of her. Her natural inclination for being somewhat bossy and demanding was starting to grate on Stanford and Mabel.

“You need to make sure you aren’t crafting too many weapons. We might need to use those things for repairs.” Pacifica said, leaning over Mabel as she collected her arrows.

“I know what I’m doing, Paz!” Mabel sighed.

“Not as much as I do. Trust me, I’ve got this.”

“So you keep saying!” Mabel rolled her eyes. “What exactly is the plan, anyway?”

Stanford leaned against the anvil and looked up at the castle’s towers. “What exactly are we facing up against? What does the Lord look like? Is he human? Or at least humanoid?”

Pacifica blinked. “I uh… don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Stanford balked, whipping his head around. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I’ve never seen him.” Pacifica replied. “I don’t think anyone has. He’s the latest update.”

“And he’s clearly got something wrong with him if this is how the game reacts to a power surge.” Stanford pondered. “Never heard of coding going rogue like that before.”

Mabel perked up. “We have... That was the game breaking out of itself though, not sucking us in…”

Ford chewed on his pencil. Pacifica briefly wondered where he got a pencil from. Perhaps, like Dipper, he had a chewing pencil for emergencies in his jacket. The two were already alike each other in practically every other aspect – why not that one?

“Not, in practise, a huge jump – especially if my device gave such a huge power surge.”

“Does it matter why it happened?” Pacifica asked, walking to the front of the group. “Our priority is getting Dip out of there, nothing else.”

“You can still learn from the experience, Miss Northwest. I know I am.”

“I’ll learn when my boyfriend is safe.” Pacifica snapped.

Mabel beamed. “You’re worried about him, huh?”

“Of course I’m worried about him! I lo-“

“You what…?” Mabel nudged her.

“N-nothing.” She sighed, furiously. “Come on.”

Mabel blinked as the two set off.

Pacifica was still concerned about saying those three magic words? Obviously she had to fix that.

Chapter Text

Dipper drummed his fingers on his knee inside his giant birdcage. This was seriously humiliating, at this point. He’d tried to pick the lock again but his noodly little arms couldn’t quite reach. The cavern was still silent, the smell still absolutely horrific and he was a bit sick of sitting around in his socks, shorts and t-shirt waiting to be rescued.

If they were even going to get there in one piece.

He’d even tried shouting for Lord Foo or whatever his name was, and hadn’t got an answer. He saw the odd skeleton guard matching down to face an upcoming invasion, he saw the eyeball spider things crawling between just about every crack and crevice around him, and he’d worked out at drops of blood fell from the stalactites about once every five seconds – except on the fifth, when it would take seven seconds.

Man he was bored.

Is this literal hell?

He was a bad gamer.

He was a bad gamer, a bad loser and now he was stuck in a cage for the trouble he’d caused.

Right now, he felt like he was a bad boyfriend.

Say things do go badly. Then what? He’s been ‘with’ Pacifica for almost a month and not told her he freaking loves her. He’s kissed her, hugged her, held her and not once managed to say those three words.

Man, he was tired. And annoyed at himself.

…And bored.

Man, he was bored.

DipPines1999: Hello? How’s it going?

Pacifica, Ford and Mabel were each trying their damnedest to climb up the gigantic centrepiece of the game’s world – to little success.

“Why do men always text at the worse possible times?!” Pacifica grunted, trying to hold onto the rope.

Mabel dug another arrow into the wall and hopped onto it. “Boys are rubbish, Paz. It’s just what they do.”

Ford laughed to himself. “Back in my day we had to talk to people with our telephones. That was always inconvenient… not that I ever spoke to many people.”

The older man grunted as he hauled himself up onto the window ledge with his two young allies.

“Now what?”

Pacifica stared at the inside of the room and tugged on Ford’s jacket.

They were standing on the window ledge of the castle’s banquet hall. That would be somewhat disconcerting as it stood – worse, however, it was full.

Full of skeleton guards in stereotypically Nordic armour, staring at them with black, hollow eyes, and weapons at the ready.

“I don’t think these guys are here to welcome us.” Pacifica mumbled.

“I like their helmets.” Mabel grinned. “I wonder how many marshmallows you could put on the end of the horns.”

Pacifica glared at Mabel. “This is serious, Mabel!”

“It was a pretty serious question! I mean they are skeletons. Do you think they eat marshmallows?”

Ford adjusted his glasses and prepared for battle, garnishing his already battle-ready hands with a pair of brass knuckles. “Why don’t we make marshmallows out of them?”

Pacifica looked at him. “I don’t think that works. Was that meant to be smart?”

Before the two of them were even prepared to run into the horde, Mabel was already swinging to the ceiling rafters with all manner of arrows and potions.

“Hey, Grunkle Ford, are skeletons flammable?”

“At high enough temperatures.”

“BOOM! FIRE!” Mabel shouted, throwing a collection of bright red vials onto the horde of skeletons in front of them, immediately sparking off an inferno. The skeletons barely had time to react before the incendiary projectiles overwhelmed them.

DipPines1999: Hello…?
PlatinumPaz: Sorry. Your sister has just started a fire.
DipPines1999: …Great. Is she alright?
PlatinumPaz: Uh. Think so.

Mabel somersaulted before jumping back down next to her Grunkle. “Booyah! FIRE!” She grinned before promptly devolving into a coughing fit.

Stanford sighed and slapped her back, prompting a cloud of soot from her throat. “Maybe move away from a fire underneath you, next time.”

Paz whipped her head around. “Next time? Seriously?”

Ford just shrugged. “Pines family, Pacifica.”

They all watched as the fire shrank away; leaving nothing more than some helmets and oddly placed piles of ash.

“And that’s it? It doesn’t touch the walls, doesn’t damage the building-“

“Mr. Pines, we’ve been over this. It’s a game.”

“There’s just… no consequences.” The old man replied, grimly. “A negative force could twist this sort of world into something truly dangerous.”

“I think that’s why people like playing games in the first place.” Pacifica shrugged. “No consequences.”

“Once this is over, we have to make sure this can never happen again. We’ve all encountered the sort of unscrupulous character that might see this as an opportunity.”

"You mean...?"

"I mean that if a game is capable of bringing us into it, there's a serious threat for a game coming out of its realm. No consequences means only one thing - chaos."

This time even Mabel had lost her lighthearted view. This time even she felt a momentary chill down her spine.

Things were starting to feel serious.

Seriously serious.

Chapter Text

The trio continued to hammer their way through the Lord’s Stronghold at a feverish pace, with Mabel being far too eager to fight just about everything in their way.

Pacifica was worried she was beginning to feel somewhat... redundant.

To think it was the kid she had always written off as being a goofy nobody, Mabel was her own little action hero, swinging and kicking her way through the castle like a swashbuckling woman possessed. Rats, skeletons and even small dragons were being dispatched before Pacifica and Ford even had the opportunity to brandish their weapons. I mean - yeah, she had tried to keep one of the dragons as a pet at first, but after it burnt her sweater she saw sense.

Sure, it figures. Mabel had been through all manner of action last summer and had apparently kept up her avid grappling hook use back in Piedmont, but come on! She was a pudgy, silly girl who flew about on a constant sugar high, and she was taking the lead?

The Northwest heiress froze. That sounded a little too much like the old Pacifica. She cast a glance to the floor and briefly felt like hitting herself.

Mabel was her friend. Possibly the best friend she’d ever had. But she wanted to be the hero and prove herself to the Pines family. She couldn’t be blamed for that.

Could she?

She just wanted recognition, that’s all.

She loved Mabel. Mabel was her friend, like a sister to her. She never had any ill thoughts about her since last summer and she wanted to keep it that way. She had been doing well until...now.

She just didn’t want to feel... useless. She wanted her opportunity. This was what she was good at. This was what she had learnt and practically trained for over several hundred sleepless nights, and now the hyperactive Pines twin was taking charge.

That wasn’t fair. Was it? Was she being unreasonable?

She cast a glance to Ford, who was following along obediently in a very similar way to herself.

Maybe they weren’t entirely dissimilar. He was a hard headed, self-proclaimed heroic martyr who tried to storm everything like a warrior. A true action hero. A true charge and ask questions later sort of person. Perhaps even a little foolhardy and overly forward for a scientist at times.

And he had been displaced here by a world that made absolutely no sense to him, reduced to following quietly with only the odd word of complaint or protest – overtaken by Mabel’s ridiculously fast ability to learn and Pacifica’s own experience.

She felt a bit like she was beginning to understand the brooding old man. And, by virtue, understood Dipper that little bit more.

She was even beginning to understand this adventuring lark.

She was actually kind of having fun.

Ford chuckled as he walked with her, watching his niece storm the next dungeon with gusto. “I’m beginning to wonder if it’s time I left all of this stuff to the younger generation.”

“I hope she knows what she’s doing.” Pacifica sighed. She… sort of meant that. A large part of her was still teetering on the hope that she could take over, save the day and impress her new family.

She had to. She had to prove she wasn’t just another Northwest.

She was Pacifica Pines, now. A person of action, just like everyone else in the family.

---

Dipper, meanwhile, had taken to drawing elaborate escape plans on the base of his cage, all of them - so far - inconclusive.

Mortal! Your friends are approaching this place! Came the booming voice.

“Cool.” Dipper replied uninterestedly. “Do your developers know you’re bugged?”

My developers know not of my abilities!

“Huh. We’ll submit a report when we’re out of here.”

You shall never escape!

“You know my girlfriend is like, a master of this game, right?”

I am the ruler of this realm!

“You’re basically a glitch.”

I am the next stage of video game supremacy!

“Yeesh. Talk about ego.”

Silence!

“You were talking to me!”

The voice fell silent again.

The game’s final boss didn’t feel very threatening. To Dipper it more seemed tedious and frustrating, so far. A stereotypical, monologue-heavy villain. Not that it was unsurprising – it is a video game. But jeez, could they not have had him captured by somebody with a little more subtlety and nuance…?

He sighed heavily as he doodled idly on the base of the cage.

He was worried about Pacifica.

There was still a part of him that wondered how likely it was they don’t make it. How likely it was that he doesn’t get out of here.

How likely it was he might not see Pacifica and be able to finally say those three words.

“I love you.”

He came back to it in his head, over and over. Why did it still feel so weird? Why did it bother him? Why had it been so damned long without him just outright saying it?

Three words! Three syllables! Hell, he could probably use homophones if it bothered him that much. I love ewe! Eye love u! Whatever, just get over it, Dipper Pines. Grow up. You know you love her. She knows you do. Why can’t you just say it?

Stop drawing on your cell, mortal!

“It’s more like a cage.”

Stop drawing on your cage!

“Or what?”

[LORD FOO QWALL reduced DipPines1999’s health by 25]

Dipper’s mouth hung open as the text appeared, and a red bar above him shrunk back by a fraction. He immediately started panicking.

“How did you even do that? Dude, stop! That’s not cool!”

[LORD FOO QWALL reduced DipPines1999’s health by 25]

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop!”

[LORD FOO QWALL reduced DipPines1999’s health by 25]

“I said I’ll stop!”

No more impertinence, DipPines1999. I have more powers here than you realise.

Dipper looked up at his drastically reduced health bar and wiped his brow. Now he was beginning to take this guy seriously.

Things fell silent once again, leaving Dipper resting his head in his hand and sighing to himself. The textures in his cage felt crude and blurry; the rocks stretched in an unusually low quality jpeg that seriously didn’t feel right for a game that cost seventy bucks.

What was with this game update, anyway?

He swore that if he swung his cage over enough and looked down one of those glowing red chasms, he could see the underneath of the game’s map.

Man, this was weird. Was this one of the weirdest things he had ended up in? It kinda felt like it.

The guilt was niggling away at him in equal measure to his emotional frustrations.

This was not how he expected to spend his night.

Chapter Text

“Something still bothers me.” Ford said, his clomping walk echoing down the stone floor of the hallway, lit only by flaming torches and the burning tip of Pacifica’s sword. “You say that everything in the game is essentially scripted, that nothing deviates...”

“That doesn’t actually sound like something I would say, Mr. Pines.”

“You know what I mean, Northwest. it’s been a running theme. But if everything in the game is normal, how is it that this Lord Foo is capable of dragging people into this, or teleporting Dipper into a cage?”

“I uh... Dunno.”

Mabel was busy drawing glasses and moustaches on every painting she passed in the hallway. “It’s like he really is the boss of the game. In charge of it and stuff.”

Pacifica considered Mabel’s words carefully as they finally reached the end of the end of the hallway.

There was something that didn’t feel quite right. Something that felt like the journey had been suspiciously easy, like they were really being lured into a larger trap. But then... Of course it was easy. She was PlatinumPaz, right? The game is a breeze when you’ve been playing for so long.

But for all of these things to be here, bare of enemies, bare of any real challenge... The castle felt incomplete, somehow.

Even the hallway they were trawling through felt strangely barren, with repeated portraits across the walls, glitching textures and a complete lack of sound.

It felt, in its way, particularly foreboding in just how bleak and dissensory it was. The sheer emptiness of it all was more intimidating than the Bogworms. Pacifica found herself feeling more nervous here than she did when they robbed her dad’s house.

It was the unknowns that worried her most. She still didn’t really know why these things were happening – she didn’t entirely know why she was off to fight this thing and, worse, the one who could possibly know was as clueless as they were, getting unreasonably annoyed with materials used to make armour.

Things felt too different to the game she knew. She was finding herself second guessing everything.

She could feel her confidence teetering, and had to constantly remind herself to get it out of her head. She could do this. She didn’t need everything to be the same; she had skills, knowledge and experience.

A hundred levels of it.

She would storm in, beat the Lord, finish the game and impress everyone. She would end up with Dipper taking her on every adventure, end up being part of the Mystery Twins. She could make it the Mystery Trio.

Belonging. She could finally belong there.

True. She lived there. She was in love with Dipper Pines. She was best friends with Mabel, and the family cared for her. But she was still the oddity. Still the rich kid who had no idea what they had been through.

That irked her.

And now she was beginning to wonder if the old her was still rattling around in there. That… that she couldn’t allow. That was something she was going to get rid of, preferably when she defeats the game.

The old Pacifica Northwest would be sliced off of her like the head of whoever it is that has kidnapped her boyfriend. She’ll be Pacifica Pines, and she’ll be the best damned thing that’s ever happened to the family.

It was then that they came up to the enormous, arched doorway that led to the castle’s final dungeon. The ultimate stronghold. The bloody cavern that marked the end of the game’s latest update – and their final standoff.

The sudden change between the empty hallway and this noisy, red glowing cavern was jarring. Ford and Mabel felt almost immediately overwhelmed as they entered - the smell of brimstone and a wall of heat punching against them the moment they stepped into the chamber. The synthesized tune that played in the background was fiercely overruled by the sound of cracking stone, grinding boulders and bubbling magma.

The Northwest Girl looked around them as she strutted in – with more than a touch of faux confidence – noting down everything that usually went into one of these levels.

Where could she jump to, what could she interact with, where was the monster spawn going to be? She tried to analyse each of those points by habit – a way to build her strategy and develop a fight plan.

To her surprise, there were no platforms or ladders, no spawner, no intractable objects. It was nothing more than a red, stony room with lots of fire, skeletons and a cage. Even with the smell of brimstone, the cracking of fire, the searing heat and the red hue sweeping across it, the room felt incomplete and dull.

It felt empty and barren.

It felt unfinished.

That… didn’t feel right.

Chapter Text

Pacifica tried desperately to bury the confusion rattling around in her head and looked around the room desperately for Dipper. He proved pretty easy to spot.

There he was – sitting alone, his head rested in his hand, pouting like a child – stuck in an enormous, poorly textured bird cage, hung from the ceiling. He perked up as he heard her voice and grabbed hold of the bars.

“Pacifica? Whoa.”

Dipper stared at his girlfriend – fully plated up in elaborate armour, carrying a sword and, frankly, looking like a complete badass.

He could get used to that.

He was used to Pacifica looking good – but this? Plated up, brandishing a sword, her hair down and with the odd spot of dirt on her face – that was a surprise. She looked tough. She looked ready.

Pacifica smiled and adjusted her hair, trying not to acknowledge Dipper’s staring. “Where’s the weirdo?”

“Uh…well, that’s a long story.” Dipper gulped, scratching his head. “He’s uh…kinda everywhere.”

There was a hollow rumbling as the voice began to stir.

Finally. The fabled hero has arrived…

Ford stepped ahead of the two girls and held his arm in front of them, protectively. “Show yourself!”

The voice laughed. It was a terrible noise - like the crackling of thunder, like a rockfall or an enormous detonation – a horribly deep, unpleasant bellow that threatened to risk the castle’s very foundation.

I am showing myself. I have no physical form. I am a deleted entity.

“He’s a ghost!” Mabel gasped. “Like… like a game ghost!”

Pacifica froze. No physical form? How was a grand climactic battle meant to come out of a creature that, by his own words, didn’t actually exist?

I am a creature seeking his place in this world. Those that created me abandoned me, never allowing me to face the millions of potential champions. This castle is my only being. This world is all that remains of what was to be my kingdom.

I wish to escape this sordid, isolated patch note. I wish to break free. I shall enter your realm by force and live amongst you. To cease being a few lines of code, and instead, the Lord for which I was intended!

I shall live with you.

Command you.

Destroy you.

Pacifica stepped back and looked around, trying desperately to find any hint of where he ‘was’. If he ‘was’ anywhere.  “If you don’t have a physical form, you can’t hurt us.”

The voice rattled in laughter, once again, prompting one of those enormous stalactites to fall to the floor. The trio jumped back and yelped as it broke away part of the volcanic ground beneath them.

The floor began to crack and split, revealing a red, glowing molten mass beneath it – fracturing the ground into a series of platforms and teetering cliff faces that rocked and balanced precariously, spanning across what resembled the very pits of the underworld.

You don’t understand, PlatinumPaz. I may not have form… but I have control. My code was never completed. Do you know what happens to incomplete code?

Dipper gulped. “It… becomes a negative integer and-"

NO!

"You mean if it's not got a closed bracket or something? I mean, I dunno, it...Runs forever?"

Correct, DipPines1999… far too easy to leak out into the broader world. Far too easy to make myself an administrator. Far too easy to send out a special update to those I chose…

All I needed was a champion. The most famed player I could find. Months, I was downloaded to different machines. Every time, only a sniffling, overweight, pathetic creature. Alone, with no impetus…

Then there came you.

Pacifica shuddered – she swore she could feel an invisible hand holding her chin.

Ripe with determination. Smart. And easily led in to protect your loved ones. Oh yes, PlatinumPaz. You were the perfect choice. You just had to download me.

Then your foolish friend did exactly that. Your foolish friend took your place. This puny, noodle armed fool was the perfect bait. Suddenly, I could reach you.

Reach your world.

Reach your family.

Reach my ultimate goal.

And then, he decided to power surge me! To increase my powers, to give me the ultimate access to your world! Your reality is mine, my physical presence is within my grasp!

Dipper groaned in frustration with himself and head-butted one of the bars. Typical. It was meant to be Mabel who unleashed cataclysmic events onto the world, not him. And why? So he could get better at a game?

He tried to squeeze his head through the bars and grunted, trying in one final ditch to escape. Naturally, his head wasn't the best at fitting through anywhere.

Pacifica needed him!

“Leave her alone!” He shouted – prompting an unseen force to rattle his cage until he struck against the bars with a hefty clonk.

Now all I have to do is destroy this realm, then export myself.

Within you.

A download. A wonderful download of data.

My escape into a realm worthy of conquering.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Pacifica snapped. “I’m a teenager. I’m not some sort of stupid warrior king.”

A level 100 deathslayer? No great warrior?

“It’s a game! I can’t fight in real life! Look at me!”

Ford grimaced – trying desperately to use his limited understanding of the game’s world to his advantage. The entire thing, the lack of stakes, the lack of any semblance of logic – it bothered him. But regardless of how much it bothered him – regardless of how unsure he was of the creature’s powers and abilities – he was not willing to let Pacifica fight for him.

Stanley had been guardian to them for long enough – now it was his turn.

“If you’re wanting an experienced fighter, whatever you are, you’ve got one here. Leave the girl alone.”

The voice cackled – a skull was lifted from one of the many piles of skeletal remains and lunged towards him, missing him by inches.

I don’t want some filthy level one player, STANFORD. I want PlatinumPaz.

Pacifica looked up at Dipper in his cage. At Stanford Pines, with his fake leg and faded eye. Mabel, with her bruises.

They were heroes.

They were adventurers.

They had fought for their family; fought for the joy of adventure. They were the real thing.

“I can handle it, Mr. Pines.”

Ford turned to see Pacifica walking ahead of them both with an air of determination.

It was a clash of adventurer spirit and ego; a clash of the innate urge to protect those you love. Stanford was still dealing with the idea of a Northwest so readily self-sacrificing. To see him being pushed aside by Pacifica – the girl who had threatened to sue during Weirdmageddon – that was a challenge to his values. A challenge to his experience.  

 “This weirdo wants me?” She scoffed, as she took to the centre stage. “He’s got me.”

“Northwest, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ford. Go and get Dipper out of there.”

Pacifica took a deep breath and whipped back her hair.

This was her moment. Her time to shine. Her time to prove herself.

The room began to quake and shudder around them.

The Lord was a glitch. That much was clear; a horrendously self-intelligent glitch, that had gained control of its own game, rattling around millions of calculations and judgement clauses every second.

It was smart, and it had no body to inhabit.

Instead, the glitch could inhabit the scenery and items around it. The realm was within his grasp; easy to hack, easy to exploit – easy to destroy.

The floor cracked into gigantic chasms, producing a rich red light that blinded any who stare into it for too long; flames roared, blocking the doors from which the trio had entered. The floor and ceiling shook, stalactites and chunks of rock beginning to fall.

Occasionally there was an odd ripping sound – the odd dead pixel – the odd bizarre flicker or flash of disorganised colour that reminded them that this was not a realm of their making; not a realm of their understanding or control.

Mabel climbed atop of Ford to unlock Dipper’s cage, teetering precariously on the old man’s head.

Time seemed to slow down. The world seemed to hold its breath.

Pacifica Northwest walked with her shoulders squared - trudging across quaking ground and flickering fire – slowly approaching the source of the danger – that strange, intimidating, devious glitch that wished to consume her, to control her, to threaten her precious family.

She took another breath – and then she ran. Ran towards that source of danger, full pelt.

Dipper stared as his girlfriend – the once haughty, the once selfish, the once arrogant Pacifica Northwest - ran towards danger; ran towards uncertainty. Sword above her, hair lashing behind her, her teeth gritted, her face bruised and her only thought on the confrontation ahead of her.

 Every instinct told her to stop. The air burnt her throat. The roar of the room deafened her. The heat blinded her.

But Pacifica’s only thoughts were to take away the threat. Whatever it may result in.

The Pines saved her. Now she was going to save the Pines.

 The disembodied voice bellowed in laughter; a combination of rage at the impertinence being shown to him and the sheer joy at finally being faced. The room shook and fires raged as Pacifica drew closer.

Yes, PlatinumPaz. Come to me! Accept your fate!

Dipper yelled at her to stop at the top of his lungs as Mabel finally unlocked the cage and grabbed his hand. She pulled him clear as Stanford lost his balance and started to fall – at the exact moment Pacifica reached the edge of the room. Within the blink of an eye, there came a horrendous white light that glared against them – a crack of lightning and the unmistakable smell of an electrical fire.

Chapter Text

Dipper wheezed as he hit the floor – promptly followed by his sister and his Grunkle, refrained by the crackling from the computer and the frenzied whirring from the Stanford Dynamo on the brink of overheating.

The room was full of smoke. The smell of metal filled the room, creating an atmosphere that naturally disguised and disorientated. The sun was only just rising outside, casting itself into the room through dim, dusted beams of morning warmth, providing the only source of light in the fogged laboratory.

They couldn’t see to the ends of their noses. They couldn’t see Pacifica.

Dipper immediately started panicking and tried to fight his way through the smoke. “Pacifica? Pacifica! Oh no, oh nonono… Pacifica, where are you?!”

 “Stay where you are, Dipper. We don’t know what could be in here with us.” Ford shouted as he struggled to open up the old windows.

The three of them spluttered and wheezed as the laboratory seemed to fill to bursting point with thick, grey clouds of choking smoke and vapour. The dynamo inside the multiplug suddenly let out a high pitched squeal as it began to reach critical. The device leapt and shook, until, finally, it rattled itself to pieces and burst open, sending the perpetual motor’s weights flying, smashing into one of the windows and allowing fresh air to finally – mercifully – flood into the room.

The choking fog flowed outwards – and there, in the corner of the room, lay Pacifica – unconscious.

“Pacifica!” Dipper ran to her – but Stanford grabbed him by the collar and held him back.

“We’ve no guarantee that is Pacifica, Dipper. We need to be cautious.”

“Screw that!” Dipper snapped, fighting his way out – he ran to her and threw his arms around her desperately. “Pacifica, please! Please wake up! Come on, you’ve gotta wake up!”

Mabel clutched hold of Ford’s arm, staring with wide eyes. “Wh-what are we gonna do if she doesn’t?”

“She will!” Dipper gulped, tears in his eyes. “She has to! She… she can’t have…”

“Well, check her pulse. Give her mouth to mouth. Chest compressions.” Ford replied, adjusting his glasses.

“I-I-I can’t give her chest compressions!” Dipper stammered, flushing a deep red, feeling around Pacifica’s neck for a pulse. Ford just rolled his eyes.

Beyond the sound of the gentle morning breeze sweeping through the forest outside, it was deathly silent; deathly still. Ford and Mabel froze as Dipper concentrated on her heartbeat.

“Sh..she’s fine! She’s still got a pulse, she’s breathing!”

“If that is Pacifica. We don’t know what that thing was capable of.” Ford sighed, crouching down next to her. “When she wakes up, we have to make sure that without a doubt, it’s Pacifica Northwest we’re talking to.”

Mabel sat there with her brother, cross legged and panicked. She watched Pacifica with Dipper, silently, as Ford tried to seek any source of the bizarre enemy they had faced on the game, which still lay open.

All seemed normal. It was as if nothing had actually happened involving the game. In fact, it seemed… normal.

Slowly, Pacifica’s eyes began to flicker. “D…dip?”

Dipper jumped and grabbed hold of her. “P-Pacifica!”

Mabel squealed in excitement and grabbed her camera. “Oh yeah! Romantic sleeping beauty time? This is totally romantic sleeping beauty time.”

Dipper ignored his sister and clutched Pacifica close to him. “You had me so worried! I can’t believe you just stormed him like that!”

“D-Dipper-“

“And that armour, wow!”

“Dip.”

“And the fire and brimstone stuff, that was incredible-“

“Dip.”

“What?”

“If you ever touch my PC again, I’ll kill you. You jerk.”

“Oh.” Dipper grinned sheepishly and rubbed his neck.

“Also, I think a broke a nail. And if I’m here, and you’re all here, what happened to the guy that infested my game?”

Dipper blinked and turned to Ford. “Uh… yeah, Grunkle Ford. What gives?”

Stanford chuckled. “You two are the computer experts. I can’t answer that one.”

Then, there was a loud buzz – followed by a mechanical rattle and a whirr. They all flinched and looked to the PC fearfully, taking a step back – while it stood perfectly still.

Instead, slowly, the ancient, dust smothered printer, wedged in the corner of Stanford's laboratory, chugged out sheet after sheet after sheet…

Ten sheets.

Twenty sheets.

Thirty sheets.

Stanford hesitated before taking hold of the paper, adjusting his glasses as he looked over the result.

“Well. I guess that explains it.”

“Huh?” Dipper turned his head to see endless code being held in front of him. Sheet after sheet of the aborted update.

“Seems the only way code can take a physical presence in the real world is…well, printed code. I guess it’s not exactly what we wanted, but he did escape the game.”

Mabel snatched it and grinned. “Can I have these to draw on? I think he deserves it.”

“Be my guest, sweetie.” Ford smiled, ruffling Mabel’s hair and cracking his back as he stood straight. “For now, I think I’ll leave you kids to this… digital stuff. For what it’s worth, after today, I think I find reality a little safer.”

Pacifica stood up shakily and leant against Dipper’s shoulder. “I’ll show you the game properly some other time, Mr. Pines. It’s not that bad from a computer chair.”

“I’m sure. I have to say, miss Northwest – you’ve impressed me today. I never thought I’d see someone with your name taking on something so selflessly.”

“I told you.” She grinned. “I’m not a Northwest anymore.”

“I’m beginning to realise that.” Ford smiled.

“PINES! PINES! PINES!” Mabel bellowed at the top of her lungs, grabbing her brother and Pacifica’s arms and making them punch the air.

Chapter Text

Later that afternoon, Dipper and Pacifica sat together at their usual spot on the porch. The day was coming to a close – and both were exhausted. A full night inside a video game would probably do that to anyone.

“Dipper, seriously. What is your problem? I’d expect your sister to this stuff, not you…” Pacifica sighed, looking at her chipped nail forlornly. “You put everyone in danger.”

“I mean… I didn’t exactly hedge bets on being sucked into the game, Pacifica.”

Pacifica sighed. “For what it’s worth, your sister and uncle were both pretty cool in there.”

“They weren’t the only ones. That was amazing.”

They both tried not to look at eachother – until their hands brushed together on the porch. Pacifica smiled to him, and he smiled back – the same old sweaty, awkward, tired teenager that she lived with and loved.

“Thanks, Dip. I can’t even explain it. I just felt like…”

“Like you had to stop it. Like it wasn’t right, and it was your job to fix it.”

“I guess I’m preaching to the choir, huh?”

They both chuckled and scooted a little bit closer together.

“Y’know, Dip, these past few weeks have been amazing. I’ve never felt so grown up or… well, accomplished before.”

Dipper blinked and smiled. “Me neither.”

“But there’s something I need to ask.”

“Y-yeah?”

“Well, do you like… really like like me?” She asked, nervously. Her voice quivered slightly as she spoke. “Like… y’know. Love me?”

Dipper swallowed hard. This was it. Typical of Pacifica to make the first move. “Well I- um. Do you love me?”

Pacifica raised an eyebrow. “I asked first…” the smirk turned into a familiar smile as she leaned against him and closed her eyes. “But yeah, I do. I mean, you’re sweaty, you’re awkward, you have a lot of emotional issues, you stare at me a little too much and your family is crazy.”

Dipper cringed and looked at his shoes.

“…But yeah. I mean, you are also my hero. And I love you. I love you a lot.”

“…Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Dipper gave the biggest grin Pacifica thought she had ever seen from him. She giggled and laid her head on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“I uh… I love you too, Pacifica.” He finally replied, sweat trickling down his brow.

“You can call me Paz if you like. Just don’t tell-“

Mabel’s head popped in from behind the couch. “PAZPAZPAZPAZPAZ!”

“Mabel!” Dipper jumped out of his skin, clutching his head and puffing for air. “Jeez…”

“How long have you been hiding there?” Pacifica laughed, trying to put on her most serious face.

“About two hours. I’ve built a camp into it with juice boxes and snacks.” Mabel smiled proudly, her hands on her hips. “Oh! Oh! And, by the way… match made.”

She slapped stickers on the pair of them and ran back inside, giggling.

Pacifica looked back at Dipper, her cheeks in a soft pink hue. “I guess she’s right.”

“Y-yeah. She’s uh… she’s pretty good at match making.” Dipper smiled back at her.

The soft breeze flowed through the pine trees, quietly rustling around them. The sun was travelling across the sky with a generous, pleasant warmth. It was nice to be back at the shack, and, for once, Pacifica simply didn’t want space to herself.

She wanted to be together. Preferably for as long as they could be.

Chapter Text

Grunkle Stan had woken up that mourning to a faint smell of smoke and a haziness in the air at the mystery shack, but was no more inconvenienced by his brother's adventure with the kids. They sort of figured it was best not to bother explaining to them. Stan knew plenty, by this point, of the paranormal - but a video game demon might be a little bit of a step outside of his boundaries.

They ultimately chalked it up to Mabel trying to play with fireworks. Nothing particularly unusual. Nothing to concern Stanley, anyway.

The week passed by quickly at 618 Gopher Road. The shack saw a steady flow of tourists, Soos saw his hot tub finally, officially inaugurated (Complete with celebration nachos) and Waddles ate one of Ford’s socks. It wasn’t the busiest week – it was quiet, and, for Dipper, Mabel and Pacifica, it was a relief.

Armed with a newfound friendship with Ford – and her new thirst for adventuring – Pacifica was beginning to feel more and more at home at the Mystery Shack; and anybody could see that the Northwest girl – for all of her sarcasm, all of her eye rolling and all of her fussiness, was happier than she’d ever been.

Sometimes she even helped sweep the floors of the gift shop when she got a day off from Greasy’s Diner.

Pacifica Northwest was sweeping floors.

Nope, wait.

Pacifica Pines.

Pacifica Pines.

The tournament was the last thing on anybody’s mind. Perhaps it was a certain amount of trauma - perhaps it was the distractions of day to day life. But not one of the kids really bothered to pick up the gaming bug again that week. Ford had been the only one bothering to play the game again (as a dwarf, incidentally) and by the time the day of the big event arrived, he was the only one to have put in any real practise - or, as he put in, research to ensure the enemy was long gone.

Ultimately, the family decided not to enter the competition, and Stan's wish for them to compete had been dropped off for the latest weekly distraction. By the time the day had arrived, any enthusiasm for it had fizzled out - but they decided to at least attend and see if there were any snacks on offer.

The school gymnasium attracted a decent sized crowd of odour-challenged youths, the smell of cheesy tortilla chips and overheated hardware infested every nook and cranny, and there was only one report of somebody being mugged for a plastic figurine of Dinkey Ape. The entire event was also joined by a loud refrain of Manly Dan’s protests in a dancing picket line outside – a mild distraction at best, and loud performances of Sev’ral Timez lyrics at worst.  

The turnout wasn’t enormous – most citizens of Gravity Falls banking on there being better things to do. Supposedly one of the municipal fences had been painted, and was drying up a storm.

Police crowd control had to be ordered in before a crush took place. 

Even with this in mind, though, the Pines were somewhat shocked by the result of the tournament.

And the winner is TobyIsARealJourno. - Or, as we all know him, Famed Reporter, Boudoir Photographer and part time model who wrote his own biography - Toby Determined!

“This is my life’s only achievement!” Cheered Toby as he collected the miniature trophy. “I haven’t seen the sunlight in three weeks!”

The somewhat socially challenged crowd cheered loudly and tossed a range of technicolour horse dolls and fedora hats into the air.

Dipper briefly wondered if any of the competitors had seen the sunlight in three weeks. “Y’know, I feel like we can let Toby have this one.”

“Yeah,” Pacifica smiled. “I mean, winning isn’t everything, right?”

Dipper beamed. He knew better than anyone how much of a difficult thing that was for a Northwest to admit. They rested their heads against eachother and briefly, happily – blissfully, closed their eyes.

“Toby is taking his shirt off.” Mabel winced. “Can we go?”

“…Let’s pull the fire alarm.” Dipper hurriedly replied.

They all made a break for it in the ensuing panic. Perhaps a place like Gravity Falls wasn't quite ready for the world of video games yet. Or was it that video games weren’t ready for Gravity Falls?

---

Preston Northwest took a sip of brandy from his glass as he stared into the fireplace with no small amount of poorly concealed anger.

Priscilla sat in the other armchair, picking through her albums of the numerous photo ops and shoots that had made her most precious memories.

“What are we supposed to do, Preston?”

“We do what we have to do.” Preston growled. “We call on an expert.”

“A hard cry, dear. I’m not sure how many experts are willing to talk to us.”

“A Northwest deals with the cards he’s been dealt. After all, dear…”

He picked up another log and threw it into the flames.

“Who knows this town better than its landlords?”