Work Text:
Jihoon was cooped up in his studio for hours now. Drafting a verse, playing with some beats, hating what he was doing, crumpling the paper he wrote on before throwing it far away from him, and repeating this cycle over and over again. He was rushing through his songwriting process, trying to meet with his deadlines. But rushing didn't do him anything good, he always just ends up getting stressed and walking out of his studio with nothing but an empty stomach, tired eyes, and a grumpy mood.
Soonyoung, who was watching Jihoon, was already quite used to the scene unfolding in front of him and decides to wait out a bit, just in case Jihoon does get some ideas, though he's sure that it would less likely happen.
The thing is, Jihoon has a habit of being like this when their comeback approaches. He would do well in most days, coming up with good songs here and there, but on days like this, he ends up with the worst writer's block. Not a single inspiration hits him, and he'll end up forcing himself to write something, anything.
But it has never been just Jihoon. Soonyoung would always be somewhere with Jihoon whenever this happens. Soonyoung had witnessed every sigh and tear that escaped Jihoon when he falls into this state. Soonyoung has been always there for Jihoon just like how Jihoon has always been there for Sonyoung. They may be both busy but they would always find a way to be there for the other. It's hard and they don't know how, but they make it work, they have to make it work.
Soonyoung decides that he has seen enough of Jihoon stressing himself out and he's now more than sure that the composer won't be getting any idea nor inspiration anytime soon. He slowly picks up the thrown papers, uncrumpling, and reading through them. He keeps the sheets containing lyrics that he deems may be useful and properly disposes of the others.
Soonyoung approaches Jihoon, taking off the latter's headphones that have been glued to his ears since they arrived at the studio and turns Jihoon's chair to make the composer face him.
"Hi Jihoon," Soonyoung greets, beaming at the said male.
"Hi. I didn't realize that you were here."
"I've been here since you started. We came here together, remember?"
"Right," Jihoon mumbles turning his seat to face his computer. "If you don't need anything else, I still have to do something. You can leave if you want though."
Jihoon placed his earphones back on his head and absent-mindedly played with some beats. Soonyoung only sighed at that before removing Jihoon's headphones again, making him stand up, and dragging him towards the couch. Jihoon was making groans of protests but Soonyoung paid no attention to them.
"It's time for you to stop and rest," Soonyoung says, his voice authoritative as he pushes Jihoon to lie down on the couch.
"I can't. I already told you, I still have some things to do," Jihoon replies trying to stand up but Soonyoung has a hand on his chest forcing him to lie down again.
"We've been over this again and again. You've always been like this and we both know that you won't be able to finish anything, heck you won't even be able to start anything when you're like this."
Soonyoung sat down by Jihoon's head, threading his fingers through the latter's hair. Jihoon opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, wanting to say something, yet not saying anything.
"You're right," Jihoon surrenders letting his eyes fall close and cuddling closer towards Soonyoung. "Can you at least help me get inspiration? I really have to finish this if we want to have a comeback soon."
"Alright, I would," Soonyoung answers which made Jihoon smile. "But only after you're already well-rested."
Jihoon was about to protest but he knew that Soonyoung was right. He also knew that he won't be able to do anything when he's in that state. So, he just nods his head and lets himself fall asleep when he feels Soonyoung continue carding his fingers through his hair while humming a soft and relaxing tune.
-----
A few hours later, Jihoon wakes up to see that Soonyoung wasn't beside him anymore and was only surrounded by darkness. He felt around him for his phone and opened the flashlight to turn some of the room's light on. He looks around his studio to see that his things were already cleaned up and there was a note left on top of a pile of papers. He picked up the note and read it.
"Hey, Jihoon! In case you woke up and I'm still not back, don't worry. I just went to get some food since we both haven't eaten for hours. I'll be back soon. By the way, here are some of the lyrics that you threw away. I tried to change them up a bit and also added a few things. -Soonyoung ❤"
After reading, Jihoon was smiling widely but he knows that he won't admit that to anybody, even to himself. He keeps the note into one of his drawers and picks up the pile of papers. He reads through them, reading the original ones first before moving to Soonyoung's version.
Just like he expected, the lyrics that Soonyoung wrote, though if Soonyoung was there he would say that it was still Jihoon's work since he only edited them, were beautiful. When Jihoon gets stuck with writing lyrics, Soonyoung would always patch up the once disregarded lyrics into something beautiful, poetic even. Soonyoung would always deny that he wasn't good at writing lyrics and is only trying to help, but Jihoon knows that Soonyoung is skilled, sometimes even better than him.
With a sudden wave of motivation, Jihoon works on a melody and uses the lyrics that Soonyoung made. He was able to get some parts of the song done and after some time, Soonyoung walks back in the studio, holding several bags of foods and drinks.
Soonyoung had already placed the bags he brought on top of the table, yet Jihoon hasn't heard anything. Soonyoung sat on the couch and watched Jihoon.
Jihoon was deep in thought, drifting his gaze from the computer and the lyric notebook that he was holding. Jihoon may not be inspired just like how he says but Soonyoung can see that Jihoon is motivated, and a motivated Jihoon produces a masterpiece. That's just how Jihoon is.
Soonyoung was still watching Jihoon when the latter suddenly decided to take a break. Jihoon took his headphones off and turned his swivel chair towards the couch, jumping on his seat when he sees Soonyoung.
"How long have you been there," Jihoon asks clutching his chest.
Soonyoung, embarrassed that he was caught watching Jihoon, looks down on the table before looking back at the composer while rubbing his neck. "It hasn't been long."
Jihoon walks towards the couch and plops down beside Soonyoung. He checks the food in front of him before setting them at the table. Soonyoung only stares at him before deciding to help.
"Thanks for the food," Jihoon says while picking up the chopsticks.
"You're welcome," Soonyoung replied, beaming at Jihoon.
The two of them eat in silence, only talking about stuff here and there to keep awkward tension away. After eating and cleaning the things they used, they decided to just lounge on the couch while watching some random movie on Jihoon's computer.
"So… how's the song?"
"It's going well thanks to the lyrics you wrote."
"I didn't- " Jihoon cuts Soonyoung's words.
"Lyrics you wrote. Don't deny anymore."
"Fine." Soounyoung pouts and slouches on the couch. "Can I hear it?
"Not yet. It's still not done."
"Alright. Why'd you stop though? Not that I don't want you taking breaks."
"Just lost the sudden motivation I had. Would've probably finished it sooner if I was inspired."
"You seemed like you didn't need inspiration a while ago. You've finished quite a lot."
"Working with inspiration is different. It actually really helps. Can't you give me some inspiration?"
"How can I possibly give you inspiration?"
"Don't know. But it doesn't hurt to try," Jihoon shrugged. "I'll just continue it later. At least I got something started."
Soonyoung and Jihoon decided not to dwell on the topic anymore and continued watching the forgotten movie. A few minutes into the movie, Soonyoung finds himself staring at Jihoon a few times. The composer noticed and tells him to stop being weird and just focus on watching.
Soonyoung wants to help Jihoon, that's the reason why he was there, but he didn't know how. He knew that the composer was right. Working with inspiration is different from working with motivation.
Now completely ignoring the movie, he tries to look back on how he gets inspired when making choreographies. He realizes that he's quite lucky that he can easily get inspiration from everyday things. Just like that one time when one of the steps he choreographed was inspired by him picking up a tissue, and when one step was based on blinking streetlights.
But it wasn't always easy. There were times where he gets no idea at all, and during those times, Jihoon would always be there to help him. Helping the dancer think of steps or just simply calming him down. Jihoon became Soonyoung's inspiration.
Jihoon is Soonyoung's inspiration. Knowing that he'd be choreographing the other's song makes him excited and even more eager to finish choreographies. Hearing the composer's voice through the demo helps him move his limbs along with the song. Focusing on his voice makes him freely move with the melody, and he'd then realize that he had already finished the choreography.
If Jihoon is Soonyoung's inspiration, can't Soonyoung become Jihoon's inspiration. This thought bugged Soonyoung. He has liked the other for quite some time now, but he's scared to do something about it. He'd be risking a lot of things, his work, his family, the fans, the members, and his friendship with Jihoon. He won't be able to bear losing these when something goes wrong. But what if nothing goes wrong? What if he'd be able to help Jihoon?
Soonyoung knows that he should stop thinking about it. He knows he'll end up wanting to act on his feelings. He knows it, yet he doesn't stop himself. He needed to at least think about it. He's been keeping it for so long. It's already getting heavy, he feels like he'll eventually burst. So, he thinks about it. And by the end of the movie, he had already thought about it too much.
He became fidgety. He needed to let these overwhelming feelings for the other out. He took his phone, Jihoon protested but he wouldn't budge. Jihoon just ignored the other and tried working on the song again. He didn't have to constantly check on the other because he knows that he wouldn't leave, at least not without saying goodbye.
While Jihoon worked, Soonyoung typed his feelings out. Masking his overwhelming feelings with verses filled with well-thought-of lines. If he can't act on his emotions, at least he can make use of them.
After a while, he was done. He read it again and again, trying to see if he was being too obvious. He kept convincing himself that it was just lyrics, and that's all it would ever be.
He then walks towards Jihoon, hoping to have him read it. He had to do it now before he chickens out.
"Jihoon," Soonyoung calls as he removes the composer's headphones.
"Hmm." Jihoon tilts his head, wanting Soonyoung to continue.
Soonyoung gave Jihoon his phone. The latter skimmed through the lyrics flashed before him. "I tried writing some lyrics of my own. I hope it helps."
Jihoon thoroughly reads Soonyoung's works while the said male awkwardly stood beside him. Soonyoung can see how Jihoon's face showed different emotions, though he's not sure of what these emotions are.
Jihoon can see through what the other wrote. He can see how much Soonyoung likes that person who inspired him to write this. He feels the longing and how Soonyoung hurts.
After some time, Jihoon gives Soonyoung his phone back, muttering a small affirmation that he liked it. He turned away from the older saying that he should send it to him and that he had to continue working.
Soonyoung was confused as to why the younger suddenly started acting like that. Maybe he saw that Soonyoung liked him and would now be ignoring him since he didn't feel the same way. Soonyoung felt his heart break at that but still sent the draft to Jihoon and started walking away. He was already by the door when he heard sniffles. He looked back and saw Jihoon crying, trying to hold back his sobs as much as he can.
He hurried back to the composer, cupping his cheeks and wiping his tears away. "Jihoonie, why are you crying? I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong."
Jihoon nuzzled Soonyoung's hand, thinking that this may be the last. "How can you like someone else. I've liked you for a long time now but you like someone else. Can't you just like me back so you won't long for that other person anymore?"
Jihoon kept crying and when he realized what he said, he glanced at Soonyoung and saw that he was shocked. He couldn't believe he just said that. He was panicking. He doesn't know what he should do and he just ends up crying more.
Soonyoung was brought out of his trance when Jihoon cried harder. He was overwhelmed with so much emotion that he kept leaving soft kisses all over Jihoon's face making the latter confused, but didn't push him away.
"I like you so much Jihoon. It's probably more than that by now. I was so afraid you'll leave me," Soonyoung confessed when he settled with holding Jihoon near him.
Jihoon was startled but still hugged Soonyoung back. "I won't. I like you too much to do that. I was actually hurt when I thought you loved someone else."
They laughed at each other, finding how they acted rather stupid, but at least they were together. It wasn't long before they find themselves cuddling and falling asleep in each other's arms.
-----
When Soonyoung woke up, he finds no Jihoon beside him and instead finds him in front of the computer, later finding out that Jihoon already finished one song and another one was on its way. Apparently, Soonyoung was the inspiration that Jihoon was looking for, just like how Jihoon is Soonyoung's inspiration.