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“Jung Yunho, It’s been a while”
Jaejoong watches Yunho’s back stiffen up, having walked in on the man folding his clothes while sitting on his bed. He still hasn’t changed out of the black ROKA t-shirt and military pants from practice earlier, just like himself. Fate had brought them face to face yet again, at a military event of all things and it was a blessing the cameras couldn’t follow them here. Jaejoong wanted to make the most of this opportunity, but he is nervous as he holds his breath, waiting for Yunho to acknowledge his presence. An outsider wouldn’t be able to tell, seeing as he has gotten excellent at maintaining a straight face. But Yunho isn’t an outsider and Jaejoong knows he would know from just a glance, even if it’s been 6 years since they’ve had time to be in each other’s presence.
Yunho is slow to turn and when he finally does, he refuses to say a word, face just as blank as Jaejoong’s. Jaejoong tries again,
“Have you been well?”
Yunho stares and stares some more before he lets out an almost inaudible hum. His gaze wanders off and lands back on the uniform he was busy folding before Jaejoong interrupted him, and if his grasp on the cloth is just a little too strong, none of them mention it.
Maybe Jaejoong is feeling a little reckless, but all he wants is for Yunho to react to him. Anything is better than being treated like a stranger, even if that’s what they’ve been to each other for the longest time now.
“I...I’ve been following along to your and Changmin’s activities, you guys have done really well. I’m really proud-”
“Can we not?”
The simple question makes anger flare up within him but it is soon replaced with plain frustration, “Ya Jung Yunho, it’s been years! How much longer do you want to pretend I don’t exist?!”
Yunho spends a moment thinking his next words through, as he finally rises and turns around to face him, casually placing the now-neatly folded clothes on the bed. His words are calculated and subdued, and Jaejoong knows he’s putting on his leader-face and trying to handle this as responsibly as he can, but he knows Yunho’s nervous.
“It’s been years and yet people are still watching us...Changmin and I have worked really, really hard to be where we are- I can’t just throw it all away. So if you could just, let this be-”
“There’s nobody here, nobody’s eyes are on us right now. Can’t we just talk like adults?”
He sees the familiar blaze in Yunho’s eyes, knows he’s going to genuinely anger him if he keeps going, but today, Jaejoong is determined to finally have a conversation that has been long overdue. It has to be done, things have to be said, to forgive and forget and move on-
“You both, you weren’t the only ones that the whole thing was hard on. All of us have worked hard to overcome those hardships and for the most part we’ve succeeded. Don’t you think it’s been long enough to think of it as the past-”
“It’s not that easy! YOU got out of this mess, YOU left the company and YOU have the freedom to live however you want. NOT US! The company, the entire industry is still watching our every move, do you think if they find out we’ve been meeting or talking or even breathing in the same space, they’ll just let this go?” Yunho is breathing a little hard, red in the face and fists balled at his sides- it takes everything in Jaejoong to not charge ahead and punch his face.
“WE got out of this mess?! You think it’s been easy? To be singers that are not allowed to be recognized or even perform in their own country! You fucking asshole, you had the choice to leave too! YOU made the choice to stay and we respected it. We wanted to go and YOU said you would respect that. What happened?! Why did you forget?!”
“That was before, before everything became an absolute mess. You all, if there was more time to think-you, as soon as you went through with it, the company-” Jaejoong’s heart thumps with adrenaline and he surges forward, grabbing Yunho by his shirt but the latter immediately pushes him away, the force shocking Jaejoong but he doesn’t let it show.
“Did the company make you say all of that about us? All those statements?! I can believe they forced you to say some of it, but- all of it? Are you saying there was no truth behind it all? You didn’t mean it?”
Yunho’s the one grabbing his shirt this time around, but Jaejoong doesn’t let it phase him, stepping closer to get in Yunho’s face, to look into his eyes and see if he can lie to his face, something the boy he knew would never be able to do. Sure enough, Yunho pushes him away and faces to the side with a huff, and it brings Jaejoong an odd sort of satisfaction in it’s own twisted way.
“...as soon as you three went through with that lawsuit, let’s just say Changmin and I didn’t have a choice anymore.” Yunho’s voice is quiet but charged with emotion and Jaejoong can’t bring himself to raise his voice anymore.
He knows it would have been hard, he knows it could not have been Yunho and Changmin’s own free will that led to the vicious words being spoken out loud, for the whole world to hear. He knows some of it could possibly have been true, but he also knows they wouldn’t have wanted to say it quite like that. Would it hurt to hear those words from Changmin and Yunho’s mouths himself? Probably, yes. But would there still be a chance to save their friendship, if not the band, had it all not happened for the entire world to see? A part of him really does believe so.
His own voice sounds uncharacteristically weak when he talks again,
“And you sat there and watched it all happen, is that it? You watched them try their best to ruin us and supported them?”
Yunho is shaking his head before the words are even out of Jaejoong’s mouth, “It’s not like I didn’t try...I was told to shut up and I- I was scared. I wasn’t ready to leave and Changmin too, I had to protect him, the only way was to do what they said to get through it all. I was angry and hurt- at you, at them, at myself- but most of all, I was scared…” Yunho raises his head and for the first time that night looks straight into his eyes, “I did what I had to. I tried but in the end...”
“In the end, you watched them use our friends to hurt us. Let yourself be used to hurt us.”
Yunho flinches like the words cut through him physically.
“It’s not like you didn’t make any mistakes. Like none of you hurt us. Junsu…!”
Jaejoong heaves a great sigh before running his hand through his hair and rubbing his face tiredly, suddenly remembering the twitter thread and the mess that followed. Just when they had all thought it was behind them-
“He flipped out when he saw the acknowledgements on your comeback album,” Jaejoong mumbles.
“I could tell that he hated me in that moment,” Jaejoong sees hurt flash through Yunho’s face and even though he doesn’t want to feel anything, he can’t help but hurt a little too- for Junsu- for Changmin and Yoochun and himself and, for Yunho. “He should’ve left it at that, but he ended up provoking the wrong person”
A heavy silence follows and Jaejoong ends up sitting on the bed with a soft oof . Yunho remains standing in his spot, arms stiffly hanging at his sides and body tense like a cornered animal- but even so, his eyes remain on Jaejoong, face so inexplicably sad that Jaejoong has a hard time even looking back at him. Yunho never was the best at expressing himself, Jaejoong thinks to himself and his eyes start tearing up at the loss he suddenly feels within himself- the loss of two of his friends, his brothers, the loss of the right to depend on them and to be there for them. He gulps to swallow the lump in his throat, raising one of his hands to press against the inner corners of his eyes, anything to keep from breaking down but the tasks proves to be impossible when Yunho unexpectedly ends up reaching an arm out and ever so slightly squeezing Jaejoong’s shoulder in a strange, restrained display of support.
Jaejoong decides to let his tears run free and at some point, Yunho sits next to him, their shoulders touching a little and cries with him.
“We went through a lot, didn’t we?” Jaejoong breaks the silence and Yunho is nodding his head slowly even as tears continue to run down his face, blotchy and snot-faced, and Jaejoong is sure he probably looks just as bad too, if not worse. He attempts to wipe it all away but Yunho suddenly says, “How did this happen to us? We were…” and Jaejoong is back to crying ugly tears.
Because they were... they were supposed to be a lot of things- they were Gods of the East, the Kings of Kpop, the greatest of artists, the closest of friends. They were supposed to be together.
It takes them a while to calm down and stop hiding their crying faces from each other but when they do, Jaejoong twists to look at Yunho, “Do they treat you better now, at least? When you renewed your contract?”
“Yeah. At first they were angry, but they were being careful. You probably saw the news but after you three, there were more lawsuits, many more...it ended up changing for the better after that, for us at least. The company, they were scared too...it’s just sad that it took all that.”
“...and Changmin, is he- was he okay? I know it’s a few years too late but..”
“...it’s not really my place to give you any details... I think, out of the two of us, he took it harder. It was difficult and we fought- a lot actually, but I’m thankful he stayed.”
The when you left at the end of his sentence remains unsaid and leaves another wound on his heart, but Yunho smiles a little barely-there smile when he looks at him again and Jaejoong thinks this one might just heal a little quicker.
“It’s not like you were completely out of the loop. I know you keep in contact with spies at the company.”
Jaejoong snorts despite himself, “What, Heechul hyung? He’s anything but a spy. He never once breathed a word about you two, even when I asked. It wasn’t hard to guess you still hated us.”
“...maybe at first, just a little. But it's been years since I’ve felt any hatred. Regret at how it all ended up maybe, but we don’t hate you. Not anymore.”
“Changmin too? He doesn’t hate us?”
“No.”
Jaejoong goes a little speechless, having expected a very different answer, but Yunho’s revelation gives him a little hope, “Wow. Maybe I should corner him somewhere too and force him to talk to me.”
Yunho ends up laughing a little despite himself, “He’s going to kill you if you try this with him.”
It’s quiet again for a moment, but Jaejoong speaks up before he can stop himself, “Junsu doesn’t hate you either. Not anymore... We are both taking care of the younger ones well. ”
Yunho goes a little misty eyed at his statement and Jaejoong throws caution to the wind and pulls his friend in for a hug. They’re a little awkward and there’s still a lot they still need to talk through, but today, Jaejoong feels hope blooming in his chest.
They end up parting ways soon after, wanting to escape before other soldiers inevitably start filing in to turn in for the night. It’s a miracle they’ve been left alone for so long.
And when Jaejoong performs in front of Yunho the next day, they keep their distance to maintain the facade of being strangers, but Jaejoong doesn’t leave Yunho without his new phone number and the demand of a promise to meet once they are free. If their fans happen to notice, then this meeting can be the gift of hope for them too, to always keep the faith in them, and their friendship.