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After coming back from the Nightmare King’s forest, Tracker had a few weeks in which she was afraid to leave the house. The guilt over attacking Kristen, the fear she would be abandoned by her and the realization that, sadly, she needed some time away to heal and get in a better mental space. Away from Kristen. Not cause she didn’t love her, not cause she was not afraid of losing her. She loved her, she was terrified. She needed time away cause she knew that time apart is needed for love to work, and that she needed to find herself and heal while healing her goddess. She knew Kristen would understand, so she told her.
At the beginning Kristen was sad. But after a few days, Kristen understood. She loved Tracker, and she understood that time apart would be painful, but needed and necessary for both of them to grow. That didn’t mean that they wouldn’t spend the time they had together before having to leave in the cheesiest, most datey way possible.
One day Kristen took Tracker to the mall, suprising her with helping to find the few things she needed before leaving, eating ice cream, buying some unnecessary things and kissing in every single corner of the building. They took photos in the those cristal machines that would print them. They decorated them with cheesy messages with eachother, not letting the other see until they finished. And when Tracker had to go to the bathroom, Kristen ran to a shop and got a goodbye present. This was ok to keep hidden from Tracker. A small suprise, a dumb print, just to show Tracker she supported her, but also cause she was afraid to be forgotten.
As they were getting ready to catch the bus to go back home, Kristen gave a glance to Tracker. She smiled, and with a tint of sadness on her voice she said “I support you. And I love you. And I know this is what you need. But I’m gonna miss you”.
Tracker smiled, tears on her eyes. She squeezed Kristen’s hand. “Me too, I love you and I’ll miss you. But…”
“I know, I… You’re not my sidekick, and I’m sorry.” Kristen sighed. “A part of me wants to go with you but…”
“Kristen, you are still on school. And you have your own life. Becoming my sidekick isn’t the solution of this problem.”
Kristen nodded “I know, I know. And I don’t want to make you feel guilty for going. It’s… It’s just that I am gonna miss being “two clerics who can’t go down” and I am gonna miss being with you cause what I said before leaving for the forest… I meant that.”
Normally, Tracker would be a bit embarassed of crying in public, but emotions were high, and she needed to hear that. She needed to hear that Kristen wasn’t gonna away. She wanted to answer, but she remained quiet, letting Kristen finish.
“But… I know I made mistakes, I hid things for you and I made you feel like I was more important than you and I am so sorry” Tracker was no longer the only one crying. “I know feel comfortable in my faith, and I know how important that is cause I no longer feel like I’m falling into a void. And I want that for you. And I understand you… You need this and I can’t help”
Tracker laughed, and she let go of Kristen’s hand to be able to hug her from behind. Maybe some people were starring at the crying teens hugging in the bus stop. She didn’t care.
“Kristen… Let’s talk about what I said in… that state after I come back. Ok? I need to know first how much of it I really felt, and how much was just pure anger.”
Kristen nodded, relaxing as she was hugged tightly by Tracker. She whipped her tears. and let herself relax. She was gonna miss Tracker, but she also knew most teens didn’t leave with their girlfriends. What a wild life they both lived.
“You know what’s better than being two clerics that can’t go down?” Tracker whispered, tounge in cheek. “Being to Saints that can’t go down”.
Kristen laughed, excited. “That’s hot!” she said, turning around to be able to kiss Tracker one more time and hug her tightly. “Lesbian Saints who are also lovers and who also are saints for different goddex… “
She kissed Tracker again, smiling. “You’re right. I just wanted to be open about stuff. I love you, Tracker.”
“I love you too.”