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Gordon doesn't like the quiet.
It was never quiet in Black Mesa and he spent so much time there that he guesses he just got used to it. There was always some machine whirring or conversation drifting through the vents or the science team pestering him to no end. Now, instead of the quiet being a blessed reprieve from it all, it feels lonely.
It's ok during the day, bearable because at least the sun is shining and he has things to distract himself from his spiraling thoughts.
But at night? At night when Coomer and Bubby aren't next to him snoring or Tommy isn't mumbling in his sleep about soda or Benry isn't up to talk to? That's when the weight of it makes itself known on Gordon's chest. He never thought he'd miss being in the same room as them, not with how many times he's complained about it but the loneliness won't leave him alone.
With a huff, Gordon pushes himself up and plants his feet firmly on the floor. It's cold enough to shock him awake fully and keep him grounded, in the moment. There will be no sleep for him tonight, he knows from however many nights before that have played out the same. So, instead, he'll get up and make some tea (as he always does) and hope it will help (it never helps).
Gordon drags his feet on the walk to the kitchen, mind wandering and body on autopilot. The unmistakable urge to check in on his flatmates lodges itself in his chest but he resolutely ignores it. He knows they're safe and, in the odd chance that they weren't, they were more than capable of defending themselves. Despite knowing this and repeating it in his mind, the feeling doesn't go away. He wonders if it ever will.
The light blinds him momentarily when he flicks it on, making him screw his eyes shut and press his palms to his face. It does, however, make a soft whirring sound that loosens something in his chest and suddenly Gordon feels like he can breath just a little better now.
He tries not to make too much noise as he rummages in the disorganised cupboards for his mug and the tea bags. Last time he woke Bubby up in the middle of the night, he threatened to light Gordon's socks on fire and he really doesn't want to find out if Bubby was bluffing. Knowing him, he probably wasn't.
The kettle boiling doesn't take long, leaving Gordon sitting at the tiny kitchen table with his hand wrapped around the mug. He should really make his way back to his room, away from where his friends could see him and question why he looks so tired but Gordon can't bring himself to move. He starts humming just to fill the silence and flinches when Benry starts humming back from the doorway.
"Have you been standing there this whole time? Just staring at me?" Benry doesn't answer, their eyes locked onto the mug of tea. They reflect the light and gleam in the semi dark of the hallway.
"Bro are you drinking tea? That's uhh, that's kinda cringe." They take a step forward and breeze past Gordon, beelining for the fridge. He just scoffs and scowls half heartedly at their back, making note that despite being in pyjamas, their helmet still hasn't come off yet.
"You drink tea Benry, I've seen you. You-you drink it like every morning!"
"Huh?" Benry doesn't even look at him, head stuck too far into the fridge for Gordon to even see. He turns back around in his seat, drinks his tea and tries not to let himself get lulled into comfort by Benry's quiet hums.
There's a lapse in the noise when Benry stops whatever they're doing and leans against the table across from Gordon.
"Hey man, do you wanna-wanna come back to my uh, room? Me and Tommy are hanging, chilling out together and you really-you look like you need to chill out." He frowns. Was it that obvious? He thought he'd done a good job of hiding how bad he felt but apparently not.
Benry takes his silence for hesitation and sighs like Gordon has very heavily inconvenienced them.
"You look like shit. We-Tommy's worried and Coomer-even Bubby bro." They look away for a moment, fiddling with a loose thread at the hem of their shirt.
"Look, I'm not-I'm bad at this whole 'comfort' thing. But you don't gotta-You have us. So uhh, come hang out?"
Gordon looks at them, trying to get his protests of 'I'm fine' out but they die on his tongue. This is exactly what he'd wanted, someone to break the silence and talk to him but he can't help feeling guilty. His friends were worried about him. Apologies and excuses crowd his head, begging to be said so that he can keep pretending he doesn't need help.
"Yeah, alright." Is what he settles on instead.
Downing the rest of his lukewarm drink, Gordon deposits the mug in the sink and follows Benry out of the kitchen. They don't say anything else, thankfully. He's not sure how he would have been able to respond properly with how busy his head is right now.
Benry's room is dark save for Tommy's face, illuminated by the laptop he has balanced on his knees. Somehow, he's still able to make out Gordon in the gloom and his face lights up.
"Mr.Freeman! Are you joining us for movie night?" Tommy leans forward, placing the laptop to the side. His excitement is clear as day and Gordon feels something tug at his heart.
"Yeah I am, as long as you don't mind me being here?"
"Not at all!" He shakes his head vigorously. Gordon smiles at him and inches closer to the bed, careful not to step on Sunkist where she's lying half underneath it. Benry pays no mind to his hesitation and flops almost onto Tommy, quickly rolling over and patting the spot inbetween them. They look dead serious, save for the slight upward tilt at the corners of their mouth.
He tries to protest sitting in the middle but Tommy joins in, patting the space with Benry and looking at him expectantly. He feels his resolve crack.
"Ok, ok I'm coming." Grumbling about their impatience, Gordon crawls up to sit inbetween them and relaxes against the headboard. Tommy nudges the laptop so that everyone can see before pressing the space bar and letting the movie play.
Grodon tries to pay attention, he really does, but Tommy casually starts leaning his head against his shoulder after about five minutes and Benry interlaces their fingers with his so naturally and gently that Gordon doesn't want to pull away. He tries to ignore the beating of his heart and the fluttering feeling in his stomach. A shaky grin appears on his face anyway.
Benry presses his lips to Gordon's shoulder, Tommy squeezes his arm twice and it's only then that he realises he's shaking just slightly. He won't cry, not yet because this is nice and too comfy for him to move but he knows he will later, when the movie is over and he can bear to let Benry and Tommy comfort him.
For now, Gordon leans his head atop Tommy's and squeezes Benry's hand. He lets himself relax and enjoy the movie.