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It was dinnertime at Barona Castle. A generous meal had been laid out in front of them, meats and puddings, soups, salads, vegetables and steaming hot rolls fresh out of the oven. Teas and wines and juices, and a spectacular-looking cake - for dessert.
But Asbel wasn’t interested in the food. He watched, one hand hooked around his spoon as his two best friends carried on an animated conversation about palace life. The king, wearing his trademark cape and more ruffles than he could count, brushed a strand of blond fringe from his face as he chatted happily with the pink-haired girl seated across from him. Asbel thought he could see her face turning red as she blushed. Blushed!
As for Asbel, despite himself and how happy he’d been to spend the evening with two people so dear to him, he was, in a word, miserable. He’d never exactly been good about feelings, but he thought he had an idea of what was happening now. And he hated it.
To his left was Richard. Each word he uttered seemed smooth and perfect like the river rocks Asbel used to fish around for in the waterways of Lhant. Tall and slim, sharp-eyed and commanding. He might as well have strode right out of a picture book. But there were other times, too, still graceful but less a king, when he’d look right at him, hold his hand and smile gently as if nothing else in the world existed but them and their friendship. As if he valued and relied on him above all else. And Asbel’d remember why he’d wanted to be his knight and protect him in the first place.
To his right was Cheria, all soft-featured with her hair curling around her shoulders. Cheria who seemed to make it her goal in life to take care of everyone. Sure, she’d nag until she was red in the face, but he’d already figured out long ago it was because she worried about people. It was the little things that told him she wasn’t really angry with him at all. The way she’d scoop him an extra helping of rice when she thought no one would notice, or the way she’d stand close by when he was upset and lay a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Like a mother. Or - maybe - like the girl he wanted to ask to be Sophie’s mother. And his wife.
Asbel was jealous, all right. But he couldn’t tell who for or why. Just that it hurt. Just that, somehow, he’d fallen in love with two different people at the same time.
Who’d decided this? Was it fair to want to be with Richard and Cheria?
He didn’t think he had it in him to blurt out the truth to either one of them, much less both. Besides, what would they think if they knew? Would they hate him? Would they make him choose? Would they write him out of their lives forever. Maybe…maybe they didn’t even feel the same way he did. They certainly seemed to be hitting it off. What if they fell for each other and left him behind?
Setting down his spoon, Asbel slumped further into his seat, feeling his heart curl up into a tight little ball in an effort to protect itself.
Two heads turned simultaneously.
"Asbel, are you all right?" That was Richard. He sounded worried - looked it, too.
"You’ve barely even touched your food! Please don’t tell me you’re going to be picky…" Cheria scolded lightly, frowning.
"I— I’m not being picky!" Asbel defended. Maybe it’d be better if he was, though. Was he going to develop such complicated emotions for all of his friends now? “I just…I’m not all that hungry anymore.”
Cheria’s frown deepened as she set her own spoon aside, already halfway out of her chair. “Are you feeling sick? If you can, at least try and eat something light. It’s not a good idea to go around on an empty stomach.”
Richard nodded. “If you’d like, I can have the chef prepare something else. I know that the food here can be a bit difficult to digest. After such a long journey, I should have realized…”
"Thank you, Your Majesty. We’re sorry for the trouble, really."
"Not at all, Cheria. And please, there’s no need for formalities here. I’d do anything for two of my most treasured friends."
"It’s fine, Richard. You really don’t have to do all that. I’ve got a lot on my mind, that’s all," Asbel protested weakly.
The concern still hadn’t left Richard’s eyes, but he nodded again, touching Asbel’s arm. Between that and Cheria’s hands resting carefully on his shoulders, their attention focused solely on him, Asbel somehow felt even worse. He was being selfish, wasn’t he? He almost wished they’d go back to chatting with each other, if only to shoo away the guilt he was feeling now.
"Well," Richard continued. "I can certainly understand. Perhaps after a night of rest, you’ll feel more rejuvenated. I’ll ask the maids to ready your chambers early, so you can retire whenever you wish."
"Yeah. Thanks… I appreciate it."
As Richard rose to signal one of the servants, casting one last glance back in his direction, Cheria leaned in a little closer. Asbel was almost sure she knew what was going on.
"If you need someone to talk to about whatever’s on your mind, just know that I’m here, okay?"
"I know. Thanks, Cheria." Asbel mustered a small smile as Cheria pulled away and went to join Richard. Maybe she’d just gone to give the servant a few additional instructions, but already he could feel his stomach sinking again.
What a mess… What in the world could he possibly say to them?
And when?