Work Text:
The engine room was perfectly silent as Nastya tinkered with wires in an open panel. It was silent save for the whirring of machinery and the Aurora’s soft humming. That being said, it wasn’t particularly quiet at all, actually, but there were no annoying voices belonging to crewmembers or jarring sounds of explosions. Nastya had a reputation for being a bit of a recluse, some crew members even going so far as to call her “the ship’s resident cryptid,” and in all fairness, she could not argue with their judgement. Today, she was particularly appreciative for the engine room’s tranquility, as Jonny had woken up in an exceptionally violent and sour mood (which was somehow more intense than his typical, base-level violent and sour mood), spending the entire morning shooting bullet holes into the Aurora’s panels, arguing and physically fighting Tim, and shoving the Toy Soldier out of an airlock. Nastya knew that Jonny would come crashing into the engine room within the next 24 hours, choosing to sit and sulk in the corner until Nastya offered some violent comfort or the opportunity to pillage a planet in search for a machine part that she needed. Begrudgingly, she cherished the whatever silence she could have before someone brought their raucous presence into her safe-haven.
“Splendid Afternoon, Isn’t It, Old Bean?” Nastya snapped her head around to face whoever had entered the engine room.
The Toy Soldier had somehow managed to stand, stock straight, in the back of the engine room, facing the door. There was no way Nastya would not have noticed it entering.
“We’re in space, Toy Soldier,” she sighed, putting her soldering iron down with care. “There is no time.”
“Aren’t You Funny!” Its typical jovial smile grew in its disconcerting manner as it offered a quick, mechanical salute. “It Is Quite A Splendid Afternoon And I Am Quite Craving A Good Cup Of Tea. And Perhaps Some Cucumber Sandwiches To Go With It! We Should Have A Tea Party. Just The Two Of Us!”
Nastya’s stomach grumbled in response. When was the last time she left the engine room to eat, anyway? Regardless, she had plenty of panels to fix and many murders planned–though every murder was specifically for Jonny.
Deflecting the Toy Soldier’s question for a moment, she cocked her head to one side in confusion. “How did you even get back on the ship? I thought Jonny threw you out the airlock.”
“That He Did! We Were Playing An Exceptionally Fun Game Of Tag! Though I Thought That Tag Usually Just Meant Tapping The Other Player’s Shoulder, But Jonny Assured Me That Shooting Them Is Actually The Correct Way To Play!”
“Is Jonny on his way over now?” she asked. If he was ready to settle down, Nastya would put aside her repairs for a few hours and talk to Jonny. She had known him for eons, and offering some comfort was part of their ritual.
“I Do Not Think So!” The Toy Soldier replied. “He Said Something About Being Angry With The Drumbot Brian! I Do Believe That Marius Is Headed Down Here For A Violin Battle, Though!”
Nastya stifled a groan and eyed her violin, sitting in it’s smooth, blue case in the corner. She had practiced all morning on a new song for Aurora and was quite done with practicing for the day. Plus, she had no desire to compete with Marius when it would so quickly descend into violence. She particularly liked the shirt she was wearing, and did not want to have to wash quicksilver blood out of it. She could just shoot Marius as soon as he entered the engine room and lock him in some obscure closet deep in the Aurora, but such an elaborate murder plot was just so much work . She eyed the Toy Soldier with a calculating glance, figuring that a tea party may be the best out of her current options. She would finally get some food to eat, and she would not have to deal with Marius’s blatant human-ness. Arguably, none of the mechanisms were humans any more, but quite a few of them were at least human to start with. Nastya couldn’t say that she ever was.
Sighing in resignation, she made her decision. “Okay, Toy Soldier. We are going to have a tea party–and I mean a proper one. One like the parties I had when I was a child.”
“That Sounds Like Jolly Good Fun!” The Toy Soldier perked up (though it was already standing straight as a board).
“But there is quite a lot of preparation that goes into having a proper tea party,” Nastya said, tapping her finger on her chin. “First, we will have to change into better clothes. You can’t have a tea party while looking informal and slobby. Then, we will have to prepare some food. When I was younger, we would eat sandwiches, cookies, and some candies. Finally, of course, we will have to prepare the tea. Now, I never had to do any of this myself, as there were always servants and staff who prepared my food and tea, but I think I can figure it out.”
“Oh This Sounds Simply Splendid!” The Toy Soldier kicked one of its feet in a rigid motion, displaying its excitement. “I Will Have To Fetch My Good Captain’s Coat. The Situation Truly Calls For It!”
“That it does.” Nastya unplugged her tools and wound the wires into a neat bunch. She placed her hand on a panel in the corner of the engine room, opening the hidden door and revealing her closet.
The majority of her work clothes had belonged to Jonny, or were stolen from him at some point. The clothes she bought for herself were often much nicer, reserved for upscale heists, or the occasional crew-hosted party (though those often ended with one of Nastya’s nice dresses utterly ruined). She ran her finger along the few dresses hung up in her closet, trying to find one that spoke to her. Her eyes caught on a long, silk purple dress with flowing, sheer sleeves and a raised neckline. Perfect.
She did not order the Toy Soldier to turn around or leave the room while she changed, as everyone knew that she was deeply in love with The Aurora and the Toy Soldier was a wooden doll, anyway. After she pulled on the dress, she twirled once about the engine room, grinning at the Aurora’s approving hums. She made her way to the mirror on the other side of the room, noticing the rat’s-nest that was her hair. Grabbing a hairbrush, she combed through all of the tangles, nodding to herself when lay smooth and shiny.
“Alright, now we get the food.” Nastya tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, beckoning for the Toy Soldier to follow her out of the engine room.
Following the Aurora’s hallways, Nastya knew that she would not run into any crew members she did not want to see. The Aurora knew how to twist and change her interior to benefit Nastya. To thank her, Nastya ran a finger along Aurora’s panels as she walked, grinning at the cameras in the corners as she passed them.
The Toy Soldier followed closely behind her, its footsteps falling in a perfectly consistent rhythm. When they both arrived at the kitchen, Nastya was relieved to find it not only devoid of crewmates, but well stocked. They had recently departed from pillaging a planet, and for once, Ashes did their job and stocked up on stolen goods. The pantry was filled with fine breads and other expensive pastries, along with a few suspicious-looking items suspended in jars. Nastya figured that Raphaella stole those for experimentation, or the Toy Soldier stole them for cooking. Either way, the jarred goods were certainly not edible.
Gathering supplies in her arms, she motioned with her head for the Toy Soldier to follow her into the main part of the kitchen. She opted to avoid cooking or baking anything herself, placing premade scones on a plate and assembling finger sandwiches.
“When Should I Add In The Teeth?” The Toy Soldier reached into its pocket and pulled out a handful of seemingly human teeth. “I Think They Would Go Splendidly In The Tea Sandwiches!”
Nastya sighed but did not flinch at the teeth in front of her. “Actually, we didn’t typically add teeth to our sandwiches in Cyberia. Maybe we can add them during another tea party.”
“That Is Quite A Shame!” it said, shaking its head emphatically. “Teeth Really Add To The Flavor If I Am To Be Frank!”
“I’m sure they do, Toy Soldier, but this is going to be a bit more of a traditional tea party.” Nastya filled the only still-intact, ceramic teapot and grabbed a tray from the cupboards above the counter.
“I Found My Captain’s Coat!” The Toy Soldier announced, though Nastya was not sure when it would have found the time to change. “Is It Not Simply Strapping?”
“I think you look lovely, Toy Soldier. Now help me bring all of this into the tearoom.” The Toy Soldier obeyed immediately, lifting the tray of food with a steady, wooden arm.
The tearoom was seldom used, as the crew members were often too busy murdering each other or blowing up parts of the ship to sit and enjoy a cup of tea in a calm room, but there was always the chance that Ivy had retreated there, seeking a change of scenery from the library. Nastya could invite Ivy to join the tea party, or she could kindly (or not so kindly, depending on how she was feeling if the opportunity arose) ask her to leave. Ivy was never one to murder a crewmate just on a whim.
Nastya opened the tearoom door a crack, noticing someone sitting one one of the plush couches in the corner. Shifting the teapot to her left hand, she readied her pistol and opened the door fully.
“What the fuck are you doing in here, Nastya?” Tim asked, rolling off the couch and into a sitting position.
“I could ask you the same, Tim,” Nastya replied, ready to shoot Tim any moment.
“I’m hiding–staying away from Jonny right now. Anyway, I was here first, so I advise you fuck off.” He crossed his arms defiantly, making it clear that he had no intention of leaving.
With a sigh, Nastya shot him in the chest. Placing the teapot on a nearby table, she dragged Tim’s body off the couch before his blood could stain the upholstery. Despite her thin frame, she had no trouble dragging Tim out the door and locking it as soon as she reentered. Doors didn’t typically lock from the inside, but The Aurora made exceptions for when Nastya did not want to be bothered.
“Alright, Toy Soldier. Shall we begin our party?” Nastya asked, organizing the snacks and teacups on the table.
“Yes! I Am Very Excited!” The Toy Soldier sat down across from Nastya, its arms folded neatly in its lap.
“Well, I will pour the tea first,” Nastya started, holding the teapot steadily, even though the heat scalded her cold hands. “Do you take milk or sugar?”
“I Take Nothing! I Can Not Actually Eat!”
“Just milk then.”
“Splendid!” The Toy Soldier happily accepted its cup, waiting politely for Nastya before it splashed hot liquid on its face.
Nastya finished preparing her cup and sat down, smoothing her dress as soon as she was seated. She helped herself to sandwiches and pastries, chuckling as the Toy Soldier did the same.
“Shall We Drink Now?” it asked, wooden fingers rested on the handle in anticipation. “I Am Just Buzzing With Excitement For This Tea Party!”
“Yes, we can drink the tea now.” Nastya raised the cup to her lips, taking a small, dainty sip. “Mmmm it’s quite delicious, don’t you think?”
The Toy Soldier splashed tea on its wooden face, its painted grin widening. “Oh Yes! It Is The Best Tea I Have Ever Had! Perhaps Teeth Could Make It Even Better.”
“You will have to try that next time you make tea.” Nastya took a bite of one of the finger sandwiches. It was delicious, though it tasted different than the ones she ate as a child–not worse, just different. “How are you doing today?”
“I Am Doing Simply Spiffing!” it replied, splashing more tea onto its face. “Though I Did Spend Some Time Out In Space Today, Which Was Quite Lonely, But I Got Back In!”
“Yes, how did you get into the engine room? I didn’t see you enter.” Nastya knew that the chances of getting a straight answer were incredibly slim, but she wanted to try her luck anyway.
“Oh You Know!” It shrugged jerkily, grinning back at Nastya.
Nastya certainly did not know, but she just sighed and went back to the food on her plate, finishing her sandwiches and pastries with delicate bites. She maintained small-talk (though she would be hard-pressed to describe anything the Toy Soldier said as comprehensible) throughout the rest of tea, enjoying the strange company the Toy Soldier offered. As soon as the tea was finished–either consumed or covering the Toy Soldier’s face and jacket–and the sandwiches and pastries were eaten, Nastya set her napkin back on the table and rose gracefully from her seat.
“Well, it was lovely having tea with you,” she said, piling empty dishes onto the platter. “I think I will go back to the engine room now.”
“And I Think I Will Go Find A Closet To Stand In!” it announced with disconcerting excitement. “This Was Jolly Good Fun!”
“That it was. Help me bring all of this back to the kitchen.” She unlocked the door to the tearoom, avoiding Tim’s blood outside the threshold.
Ashes stood in the kitchen, playing with a match. They raised an eyebrow at Nastya and the Toy Soldier entering, empty tea-things in hand, but did not say anything in response. After the dishes were washed and put away, Nastya offered the Toy Soldier a final smile and made her way back through the Aurora’s winding hallways and into the engine room.
Jonny sat in the corner, his arms crossed and his face twisted into a scowl.
“Where the fuck were you and why are you all dressed up?” He shot her an accusatory glare.
“I had a tea party with the Toy Soldier. Now that you’re here though, it’s time to talk to me.” She tied her hair up in a simple bun, but kept the dress on. Sitting across from Jonny, she fished out a book out from a mess of wires.
“Yeah, yeah, get comfortable.” Jonny uncrossed his arms and began to complain.