Work Text:
“Well. Great,” Josuke said, probably summing up what everyone else was thinking as he regarded the dusty shriveled up arm Jotaro got from D’arby. “We got one back. Do we just keep following it to the rest?”
Multiple generations and realities of Joestars and Speedwagon glanced at each other uncertainly. Though it was hard to say what Jotaro was feeling.
They had just gotten beaten by DIO bad. Not even their most powerful stands and abilities seemed to faze him. And then they had encountered and fought what was apparently was the 23rd President of the United States from another universe altogether who declared they (Jotaro) would be the ones to defeat a possibly reality-altering DIO.
Now they had to go collect all the corpse pieces they had lost and it all just felt… so tedious.
“I suppose we must,” Johnathan said calmly. “What other choice do we have? Time is of the essence here. We should press on.”
“Wait…” Giorno said, folding his arms. “Maybe we should consider splitting up to collect the rest of the pieces.”
“Split up?” Josuke exclaimed. “But… I dunno in movies splitting up is the worst idea.”
“This isn’t a movie though,” Jolyne said, hands on her hips. “Giorno is right. We’ll cover more ground and collect the corpse pieces faster if we split up.” She reached out and took the mummified arm from Jotaro. “I’ll take this one.”
“Why do you get to go?” Johnny asked eyes narrowed at her.
“It doesn’t really matter,” Jolyne snapped, holding the gross limb. “You’re welcome to try and fight me for it but we really don’t have the time.”
“In that case…” Joseph threw a big muscled arm around Jolyne’s shoulders, grin wide. “I’ll be going with her! I’ve always had a soft spot for American girls.”
“Oh my god,” Josuke whispered in horror.
“She’s your great-granddaughter you perverted old man,” Jotaro growled, looking two more words from swinging a right hook at his much younger grandfather.
“Who are you calling old!? I’m not your gramps!” Joseph winked down at Jolyne. “Besides, I don’t mean it like that! She just looks like she’s more fun to be around than a bunch of boring dudes like all of you.”
Growing up Jolyne had heard of her great-grandpa Joseph only in passing, usually when Dad was on the phone or arguing with Mom. As far as she knew he was still alive in her time but she had never met the man for, she suspected, the same reasons Dad never told her anything.
It was a shame. She would have liked to have met him.
But this giant wall of a man the same age as her in a scarf and a pair of jeans her mom might actually have in the closet right now was not what she expected. He was wild and loud, like he was ready to have a good time at the drop of a hat.
She kind of liked him.
“Well, I don’t mind hearing that,” Jolyne said a giving him a wry smile. “Alright, what the hell? Let’s go bust some heads, grandpa!”
“Nice! Don’t call me that though.” Jolyne held out the corpse part and Joseph pointed and winked at the rest of the group. “Later!”
And they were gone a flash of gold.
“I wonder if it is wise for the two of them to go alone,” Giorno mused in some concern.
Josuke looked toward Jotaro. “Hey Jotaro, should we- uwah! Your face is terrifying!”
☆ ☆ ☆
“Where in the hell are we?” Jolyne asked, looking around the dark alleyway they appeared in, startling a cat off a trash can.
“More like when,” Joseph noted, looking up at the sky. He sniffed. “Smells like… garbage, tomato sauce, and the sea.”
Jolyne looked up and watched a jet fly overhead. “If I had to guess we’re in Giorno’s time and place. Italy, 2001.”
“Guess not much changes then,” he snorted as they looked out onto the streets. Few people crowded the walkways as dusk began to fall on the picturesque Italian city. “Oddly quiet around here though.”
“Good,” Jolyne said holding out the arm and feeling it faintly pulse as she turned in a circle. “We don’t want our fun to disturb too many people. DIO probably has one of his lackeys guarding it.” The pulse strengthened as she turned North. “This way.”
“So…” Joseph began, as the two walked out into the streets, eyeing Jolyne up and down. “This is what girls wear in the future huh?”
“Don’t know about other girls but it is what I wear,” she replied. She cast him a sideways look. “You got a problem with it?”
“Not at all,” Joseph grinned almost Cheshire wide. “Gives me something to look forward to. You’re pretty and all but it’s just weird if you’re my relative.”
She just rolled her eyes.
Joseph wasn’t sure how he found himself in this situation, jumping time with a bunch of his descendants, himself, and his grandpa. It felt like just yesterday he was training for his upcoming battle and… wait actually that was exactly what he was doing yesterday.
Now he was walking alongside some woman with the same mark on her neck as his that was apparently his future great-granddaughter. He regarded her thoughtfully. He supposed there was no denying she was his descendant. Not with those eyes.
“Anyway, when we find the corpse part we’re bound to run into trouble.” Joseph stretched his arms up over his head, joints popping. “You just sit back let me worry about taking out the bad guys, honey.”
“Oh?” Jolyne replied with a wicked smirk. “Don’t you worry about me.”
They followed the pulsating arm until they came across a train station.
“Neapolis Train Station…” Joseph read. “Looks pretty empty. Wonder if these anomalies are messing with things here too.”
“And it’s centered inside the station. Look.” Jolyne pointed at the entrance where four police officers stood at ready, guns on their hips. Police tape blocked off the entirety of the building. “They look like regular police.”
“Hmm.”
“Well, it seems like the corpse part is inside. It kind of sucks but we’ll have to take them out…”
“Or…” Joseph began. “I have another plan.”
Jolyne raised a brow at the downright gleeful smile on his face, the grin all teeth like a scheming shark.
“Ok. I’ll bite. What?”
☆ ☆ ☆
Joseph had run off to grab whatever he needed for this plan of his as Jolyne kept an eye on the police and empty station from an alleyway. It would be easier to just beat them and muscle their way through but she couldn’t deny she was curious what the other man had come up with.
“Yoo-hoo! Jolyne~”
Joseph was confident this would work this time. It was foolproof. He looked and felt like a million dollars as he happily pranced up to Jolyne and spun on his toes, his skirt twirling. This time he had applied even more makeup and made the chest bigger so there was no way it could fail. There was no way the police wouldn’t let him through.
Jolyne was speechless.
“What do you think?” He asked, pushing his wide-brimmed summer hat up with a flourish. “Pretty good right? I tried this once before and it didn’t work but I think I’ve worked out the kinks. I’ll go up to the police, tell them I left my bag in the station and how it has my passport and the only photo of my dear great-grandma a- Hey are you laughing?!”
Jolyne felt like she was going bust a gut as she crouched down to the ground, hands over her mouth as she tried to stifle her laughter. She wheezed as she tried to tamp it down but every time she looked back up at a very offended Joseph it would all come rushing up again. Tears streamed down her face.
“How did you even find-” She hiccuped and sniggered. “Ow, my sides.”
“Are you done?” Joseph huffed, muscular arms folded over his wide chest that was barely contained in the dress he got from god knows where. One wrong move and the seams would pop.
Out of all the Joestar’s Jolyne had met so far… Joseph was now easily her favorite. This was the sort of person she would happily go clubbing with and if they lived through this she hoped she could take him bar hopping.
“Look,” Jolyne said, wiping at her eyes. “I’m not saying this is wrong…” She gestured up and down at him. “But that is some seriously heavy makeup, dude. You have to use it right.”
Joseph pouted. “I think I did pretty good.”
Jolyne glanced at the station entrance and police officers and back at Joseph and smirked. “Alright, I like your plan. But can I make a few suggestions?”
☆ ☆ ☆
It had been a rough night for the city police. Stories of supernatural events, ominous purple clouds, and strange people fighting and destroying property all over since this morning had them on high alert and spread thin across the city. They had been told that under no circumstances was anyone allowed into the station.
Poor bastards had no idea more trouble was waltzing their way toward them in a skirt.
“Oh no!” Joseph exclaimed, dramatically high pitched, as he walked toward the station entrance. “Whatever shall I do!? I’ve left my bag inside the station!”
All four officers tensed up as a big hulking man in a blue dress and white fashionable sun hat made their way over to them. He wasn’t fooling anyone but his makeup was surprisingly nicely done, highlighting high cheekbones and an eyeshadow that made his blue eyes pop.
“Excuse me!” He cried, coming up to them. “Would you nice officers help a lady out? You see I’ve left my bag inside the station-“
“I’m sorry but we can’t let you in.” One of them said immediately. “Too dangerous. You’ll have to leave. I’m sorry… ma’am?”
The other three gave the fourth officer a look who looked away with a flush.
Joseph fluttered his lashes. “Oh, but you see my passport is in there and my dear departed great grandmother’s photo-“ He swayed closer and all but the one that spoke first pulled out their guns.
“Stop right there! No one gets inside! We’re going to have to ask you to leave!”
The fourth officer also pulled out a gun but looked a little less sure about it.
Joseph held up his hands. “But my bag! How dare you treat a lady-“
“What part of you is a lady!?” The officer at the front shouted. “Who do you think you’re fooling?!”
Joseph frowned and stepped a little closer only to have all four guns pointed at his chest. “Ah wait! Don’t shoot! Dammit! I can’t believe it didn’t work again! Even with a woman’s touch you saw right through my perfect disguise!”
“Who would fall for something like that?!” Another officer sneered, reaching out and yanking on the skirt of the dress. “Don’t you realize what you look like moro-”
Before he could finish his insult something strange happened. A single leg materialized from the folds of the skirt and struck the officer right in the chin, launching him back into the wall and knocking him out cold.
A head then unraveled from the bodice and smirked at them.
“Don’t you know its rude to pull on a lady’s skirt?” Jolyne said, as she pulled the rest of her string body from the fabric of the dress and punched a stunned officer in the stomach with Stone Free. The man coughed and went down like a wet bag of cement.
The other two by this point were trembling in confused terror but pointed their guns at a put back together Jolyne. Only for Joseph to grab both weapons in his hands and yank them from their grip.
One received a mighty kick to the face while the other (the one that called him ma’am) he grabbed by the neck and channeled a burst of Hamon through his hand. The man seized and peacefully passed out.
“Keh,” Joseph scoffed dropping the officer to the ground. “We ended up having to beat them up anyway. That is the second time that hasn’t worked. You even fixed my makeup for me. Is it them or is it me?”
“Well, at least we had a backup,” Jolyne replied, tossing two of the officers into the bushes and wisely not commenting on that last part.
“Yeah.” He said hiding the other two behind a pillar. “That’s a pretty neat trick you’ve got there. You guys call that ability a Stand?”
“Yup. Now, let's go.” Jolyne held out the glowing mummified arm as she jumped over the turnstiles. “We have part of a corpse to find.”
“I knew going with you was a good idea. You’re pretty tough for a woman.”
She looked up at him. “I could say the same to you.”
Joseph grinned and mockingly fluttered his lashes and covered his lipsticked mouth with his hand. “Ohohohoho thank you~”
Jolyne almost split her sides in laughter.
☆ ☆ ☆
“Hey! We’re back!” Joseph shouted triumphantly upon their return. “We got the ears!”
“Oh my.”
“Uh…”
“What the fuck are you wearing?!”