Chapter Text
It had been 5 hours.
5 hours since the world exploded, right in the middle of lunch time.
5 hours since their manager barged into their rehearsal room, wide-eyed with a deranged glare. He confiscated all of their phones and demanded they follow him to their CEO’s office. None of them knew that the hell. Beomgyu looked to Soobin, hoping their leader had some inkling and would provide comfort that everything was okay. But he looked just as worried and confused as the rest of them.
When they entered their CEO’s corner office, Bang PD was seated back in his chair, eyes closed with brows furrowed. It was not a comforting sight. The team assembled themselves before him, and the next words out of Bang PD’s mouth turned their world upside down.
Just 20 minutes before, while TXT was hiding away in the basement studio, someone had leaked private content on them obtained via hacking and illegal surveillance in their home. The hackers’ motives were unclear; there was no note, no ransom demand. The information was unceremoniously leaked on the world wide web, and the culprits vanished. But what initially seemed like a chaotic data dump was actually a carefully woven narrative designed to appear random.
Because in between all the trivial information, hiding in plain sight, in short messages to friends and implied in clipped conversations, was one incriminating fact: Kang Taehyun was a homosexual and he was in love with Beomgyu.
In Hollywood movies, “coming out of the closet” was often portrayed as a grand step, something celebrated with happy tears, encouraging hugs, and reassurances of unconditional love. But there was none of that.
The team sat shellshocked in their CEO’s grey office, the time and tension passing over them like an avalanche - cold, fast, and never-ending. All eyes turned to Taehyun, whose teary gaze was resolutely pinned to the floor. His slender fingers balled into tight fists, so tight that his hands turned white and his knuckles threatened to break out of his skin.
It shouldn’t have been a big deal, Beomgyu thought. It was the 21st century, for fuck’s sake. But his aching racing heart begged to differ because, holy shit, it was in fact a big deal. Not just because they lived in a country that still considered itself conservative, or that part of their job was to appear picture perfect.
No, it was a big fucking deal because they didn’t know. His best friend was in love with him and he didn’t know.
They lived together. They worked together. They laughed, ate, slept, cried, fought together. They celebrated every holiday, and mourned every loss. They were supposed to be family, but they didn’t even know. He didn’t know.
Beomgyu watched Taehyun, trying to understand. He’s looked at the other for years, in early morning car rides and exhausted sleepless nights. Through teary eyes and confused stares. Somewhere between all of that, he should have known, right? Why didn’t they know?
Why didn’t Taehyun tell them? Tell him?
“I’m sorry,” Taehyun said. All eyes were on him. What he was sorry for, Beomgyu didn’t know. Maybe it just felt like the right thing to say.
Bang PD said a lot of things - the police and company lawyers were already summoned, Taehyun’s family will be provided an official press release, and none of them were to issue any statements not approved by the company. But above all, he asked:
“What do you want to do?”
They had no answer for that.
It was a silent car ride, the inevitable hanging heavy around them. The company booked them a hotel suite for the meantime as the police searched their dorm for hidden bugs and cameras. But none of them cared about that because the damage was already done.
When they arrived at the suite, Taehyun beelined for one of the smaller rooms and shut himself in, refusing to come out no matter who nor how many times they asked him to come out.
It had been 5 hours.
5 hours since the world exploded, right in the middle of lunch time.
“Let’s try this again tomorrow,” Soobin sighed as they packed away Taehyun’s dinner.
The company was generous enough to give them an early day off and hold the media at bay while they picked up the pieces amongst themselves.
But Beomgyu couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, trying to catch some shut eye, but it didn’t seem like it was meant to be. Each time he closed his eyes, he was haunted by the thinly veiled devastation on his best friend’s face. It was like a stab through the lungs, robbing his chest of air.
Some time past 2 in the morning, he resigned himself to another sleepless night and sidestepped Heuningkai’s bed to pad out into the hallway. The light in the kitchenette was on, evidence that someone else aside from him was awake.
Standing by the fridge, stock still with a glass of water in one hand, was Taehyun.
Beomgyu rubbed his half-open eye, trying to see the other boy better through his sleepy haze. “How are-”
But no sooner than the words were out of his mouth, Taehyun’s moony eyes widened and he beelined for his room.
“What the fuck?!” Beomgyu hissed when Taehyun speeded past him, obviously shrinking in on himself to avoid any sort of physical contact.
Red heat flooded Beomgyu’s system, anger tinging his sight.
“Wait a second,” He raced after Taehyun, just barely catching the door before it could be slammed in his face.
It was strange to face his best friend like this. Just this morning, Taehyun was teasing him about something, maybe being a loudmouthed picky eater. They laughed about something small and dumb and insignificant, as they always do. Taehyun glowed when he laughed, looking younger with his wide eyes and wide grin.
But the boy in front of him was like a wounded animal backed in a corner, shrinking himself on his bed as if he could disappear between the sheets. The bright eyes that usually sparkled dimmed with tears as Taehyun turned his back to Beomgyu and pressed his forehead to the wall, hiding his face.
“Hey, don’t cry.” It was a dumb thing to say, Beomgyu knew. What else is someone to do when the world crumbles in front of their eyes? When the smallest details are laid out of the world to prod and speculate on, to judge as if they have a say in the matter?
“Go away.” Came the muffled reply.
“I can’t do that,” Beomgyu said, shutting the door quietly behind him, turning the lock for good measure.
“Leave me alone,” Taehyun whined, a sniffle punctuating his words. “Please.”
Taehyun - whip-smart, sarcastic, proud Kang Taehyun - just begged. The simple 6 letter word ignited an inferno in the elder’s chest, a frightening need to burn down anyone and anything that played a hand in this wreck.
“Just leave. Fuck.” From where he stood, Beomgyu could see how Taehyun’s tightly clenched fist, gripping the sheets so tight that his knuckles turned white. He was never the type to let his guard down so easily, but neither was Beomgyu.
The older boy quietly slid under the sheets, laying on his side as he stared straight at the back of Taehyun’s head. They were mere inches away, close enough to feel each other’s body heat without actually touching, but Taehyun had never felt so far away.
It seemed like they were on opposite ends of a canyon, with Taehyun tiptoeing a cliff’s edge. Beomgyu felt too far, too helpless to do anything but stay with him.
The two boys stayed still for what felt close to an eternity, the tension punctuated by small hiccups and barely restrained sobs from Taehyun. The shared pillow vibrated with his trembling body.
“You can get mad if you want to.” Beomgyu whispered. He lost track of time a while ago, but figured it must almost be 4 in the morning.
Taehyun said nothing.
“Or scream.” The elder offered. “Or hit something. You can hit me; would that make you feel better?”
Taehyun only cried harder.
“Do what you need to, Taehyun-ah.” Beomgyu burrowed deeper into the pillow. It smelled like Taehyun, but was a little damp from his tears. “Tomorrow, we’ll face this together.”
Sleep was an impossible wish as the younger boy continued to weep, his sobs shaking the mattress. Each tortured gasp ripped through Beomgyu, as if his lungs were the ones begging for respite.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry.” Taehyun whispered brokenly between cries.
“What are you sorry for?” Beomgyu replied, inching ever closer.
Taehyun sniffled bitterly. “Are you just going to ignore what the text messages said?”
Oh.
The thing was, Beomgyu didn’t ignore it. How could he, when it was a landmine that threatened to explode in plain sight. And Taehyun just deliberately stepped on it.
“I’m sorry.” Beomgyu muttered, inching closer to press his forehead against the back of Taehyun’s neck. A devastating cry ripped itself from the younger’s chest. Somewhere in the universe, a star collapsed into itself.
Because the irony of life is that Beomgyu would do just about anything for Taehyun.
He would give his right arm if Taehyun broke his. He would give his other leg if Taehyun needed it. He would offer half of his lungs, his eyes, his ears, if Taehyun asked for it.
But what Taehyun needed was his heart, and it was the one thing Beomgyu wasn’t sure he could give.
Beomgyu wrapped his arms around his best friend and held him tightly to his chest, closing his eyes as the slender boy trembled in his hold. Taehyun gasped desperately for air as if the only thing holding his lungs together were Beomgyu’s arms. Perhaps, in that moment, that was true.
Outside, the city slept. Inside, their world crumpled and morphed, bit by bit.
Exhausted and afraid, Beomgyu and Taehyun fell into a restless sleep. When they woke up mere hours later, the world was new. There was a lot to be figured out together.