Archive of Our Own

DI Sam Tyler was sure that this time he was going completely and irrevocably insane. Why else would he have spent the last twenty minutes covertly staring at his DCI?

The morning had started innocuously enough, a discussion on progress on the current case. Except, for some reason, Gene wanted to re-read the file thoroughly and didn't want his DI to wander off before he had finished.

"Sit there," Gene had barked, "and don't move until I say so."

Sam made himself comfortable on the hard chair opposite and busied himself with updating a second file, making notes in the margin of witness statements while Gene read the file Sam had handed over.

Gene, in the meanwhile, had started making distracting noises.

First of all it was little huffing noises through pursed lips as Gene read through the summary. Not quite a whistle, but it was definitely distracting. Sam looked up at Gene to tell him to shut up. And then Gene licked his lips.

Oh. That was interesting.

Sam knew that he had something of an attraction to his boss. Had caught himself looking at inappropriate places more than once. Had caught himself thinking inappropriate thoughts more than once as well. Hadn't acted on them though. Didn't need to. He had soft, sweet Annie for the sexy thoughts. And Gene would beat him to pulp if he so much as thought that Sam was harbouring 'an unhealthy obsession with male bonding' or, at least, 'an unhealthy obsession with bonding with his very male boss'.

As Gene hadn't pounded Sam into next week, he was obviously still oblivious. And Sam tried his damnedest to make sure that he didn't become un-oblivious.

However, said boss was currently doing something obscene to a chocolate bar.

He started by licking a broad stripe up the inch or so of exposed chocolate, wetting it slightly before flicking the top with the tip of his tongue. Pausing to turn over the page of what could just as easily be the Sporting Times as the file Sam had just handed over, Gene licked his lips once before parting them and sliding the tip of the Flake into the moist space between.

Now the obscene slurping noises started as Gene sucked hard at the tip, pushing the column of brittle chocolate in and out of this mouth, slowly, opening his mouth wider so Sam could see a flicker of teeth and tongue.

Sam must have made some sort of noise at that as Gene looked up suddenly, pulling the flake from between his lips, a line of chocolate coloured spittle linking the two for a moment, and Sam could almost taste it. He met Sam's gaze with a frown.

"What?" he interrogated.

"No… nothing, Guv," Sam stuttered, "just, that chocolate looks nice, that's all."

"Get your own." Gene bit the top of the chocolate off, aggressively, and went back to reading the file.

Sam breathed deep, the floor show was over, he better get back to his note-taking. He glanced down, but looked back up almost immediately as Gene started to unwrap more of the chocolate, the crinkling sound loud in Sam's ears. It was almost as if Gene was caressing the chocolate bar, running his finger up and down the chocolate, slowly exposing another millimetre of the rich brown delicacy.

Then it started again. The lick of the lips, the lick of the chocolate and then the slow sucking of the tip, melting the chocolate and smearing it slightly, like a lady's lipstick, across his bottom lip.

That was it. Gene was giving that Flake the blowjob of its life and if Sam didn't get out of there quickly, he was going to either embarrass himself by coming in his pants or embarrass himself totally by whipping off his trousers and yelling "fuck me now!"

As tempting as the second was at the moment, Sam decided that retreat was the best idea so he stood, moving the file in front of his very obvious erection.

Gene looked up at the sound of the chair scraping across the floor as Sam rose. He put the source of Sam's discomfort down on the file.

"And where are you going, Sammy-boy?"

"Er, the little boy's room?"

"I thought I told you to stay put until I'd finished reading?"

Gene flicked his tongue across his bottom lip, smearing the chocolate there rather than removing it. Sam just stared.

"What?"

"You've, um, got some chocolate on your bottom lip," Sam managed.

Gene ran his finger across his lip and inspected the pad closely. "So I have." He raised the finger to his mouth and sucked on it briefly. "Waste not, want not."

Sam groaned, making his way to the door as fast as his over-tight trousers could manage.

"Are you alright, Tyler?"

"Dodgy curry last night, Guv. I'll be right back," and Sam disappeared through the door and down the corridor.

Gene just smiled and went back to his file and Flake.