Chapter Text
Mark didn't understand the word love. He knew the dictionary definition, but he didn't understand it. At least romantic love. That's how it was in his family.
Mark's mom and dad had an arranged marriage and they were anything but in love. His mother loved him. She was soft on him and cuddled him when he fell down and read him a story at night.
His father on the other hand was stoic. Mark could never tell what he was thinking. He was gone most of the time on business. He wasn't cruel or anything like that but he was emotionally unavailable. Maybe that was because the pressure to keep the family wealthy and to lead his business was all he could handle.
The other love Mark got was from his older brother Taeyong. He was 4 years older than Mark, but he loved him like he was his child. Taeyong would give him advice and comfort him when he was feeling sad.
Mark didn't understand romantic love because he didn't know it existed. He knew he was going to get married when he's around 25 and he knows he won't know her. He knows it really doesn't matter if he likes her. Because that's how all the Lee's got married.
Mark was okay with that because he never knew what romantic love was.
Mark grew up in a house more like a mansion. There were 4 floors and 15 rooms, not including the pool house. He had a lot of cousins and played with them mostly. When he was 8 years old he asked his father if he could have a friend over for the first time.
"Who is it?" His father replied with suspicion in his voice.
"His name is Yukhei! He's in my class," Mark replied with a sparkle in his eyes. He bounced on the heel of his foot, waiting for a yes or no.
"Last name?"
"Uh, Wong. Wong Yuk-Hei. He's Chinese and Thai!"
"Hmmm… the Wong's own a restaurant chain don't they? How would that be useful to our company…. Yes, he can come over," his dad always thought of life through a business lense. How can it benefit me? What's the point of this relationship? So, needless to say his dad did not have many "friends".
"Yay! Thank you! " Mark jumped up and down and hugged his father's legs, because of the height difference. Then he ran to his room to bring out the toys he wanted to show his friend.
The phone rang in the house and his father picked it up. Mark ran downstairs knowing it was Yukhei's dad. He stood eagerly by his father's chair.
"Yes, how are your restaurants doing?" His father asked. They continued the conversation for at least 15 minutes, but Mark felt like it was hours. As soon as his dad hung up, he asked the question he'd been wanting to.
"Is he coming???"
"Yes. He will be here in 15 minutes," his father said and gave him a slight smile before going back to his work. His father wasn't completely void of emotion. He still loved his kids. He still was kind to his wife. He was just too busy to care about most things that didn't directly matter to him.
Mark was used to that, he got all his comfort from his mother. His mother tried to make him talk through his emotions. His parents played different roles in his life.
Mark waited at the door like a puppy excited for his owner to come home. When the doorbell rang he jumped up and swung the big white door open.
"Hi, Mark!!" Yukhei said with a smile on his face. Mark's smile spread across his whole face.
Since that day they became best friends, spending the night at each other's houses and talking about their dreams and the good and the bad. Mark knew what platonic love was from him. He cherished his friend dearly.
When Mark was 13 he asked God why people had to die. Mark was raised reading the Bible and going to church, though it was more of a social gathering for his parents, he took it seriously. He fully believed God had a plan for him and that Jesus died so he could have a relationship with God. Mark read his Bible everyday and prayed for his friends and family. He was even in the church choir. His voice was soft when he sang amazing Grace.
Mark ran across the school parking lot with his backpack to his brother's Jeep. He got in the car and shook his wet hair.
"Hey, watch where you're dripping!" Taeyong said with an annoyed tone.
"Sorry," Mark said as he relaxed into his seat. It had been a long day. He had two tests and two essays due Monday. Thank God it's the weekend he thought.
"Rough day?" His brother asked as he drove out of the parking lot. Taeyong always picked Mark up at his middle school even though taeyong was a junior in high school. Taeyong liked spending those car rides with him. He didn't want the family driver picking him up and Mark not talking about his day.
"Yeah, I've got loads of homework too. 8th grade sucks," Mark groaned. Taeyong chuckled a bit.
"Yeah, I remember it feeling like a lot. You'll get through it though."
"Yeah… can't wait until Thanksgiving break."
Taeyong silently nodded. They pulled into their gigantic driveway.
The house was white with gold trim, it had spires and at least 10 windows on the front side. Mark liked how it looked. He always said it looked like a house in a mystery novel. Mark loved reading and writing. He didn't care for math or science, even though his brother enjoyed math a lot.
"Mom's not home yet," taeyong said, not seeing their mom's Lexus in the garage.
They parked and got out of the car, rain still pouring down. They unlocked the door and went inside.
Something seemed off, there were no servants, no Cooks in the house.
Mark and Taeyong weren't used to coming home to an empty house. Usually there was Miss. Rita, the maid or Chef Park. Or at least the driver Mr. Kim. But no one was there.
Mark walked into the kitchen after putting his house shoes on. He found a note on the counter and picked it up.
Dear boys,
I ordered the staff to take a day off. I'll be home with groceries soon and we can cook together! Let's have a family night! I love you two! If you get hungry before I get back there is some fruit in the fridge.
Love
Mom♥️
"Mom told the staff to go home. We are making dinner together!" Mark yelled to Taeyong in the other room. Taeyong made a noise in acknowledgement. Mark took some grapes out of the fridge and popped one in his mouth as he texted his best friend Yukhei.
To: Lucas big hands
Hey, can we study together this weekend?
To: Mark big head
Yeah! We have so much homework I want to die 😭😫
To:Lucas big hands
Ikr! Tomorrow at noon? Want to sleep over too? I think my mom will say yes.
To: Mark big head
Yes! My dad is being so annoying 😡. I need to get out of the house.
To:Lucas big hands
Stay strong 💪 see you tomorrow! Love you.
To:Mark big head
Love you too BFFL
Mark smiled and put his phone down. He heard the doorbell ring and Taeyong's footsteps in the hallway. Who could that be? He thought. He popped another grape in his mouth.
"Min-Hyung!" Taeyong said with panic? Worry? In his voice. Mark walked into the hallway and saw his brother standing at the door talking to two figures, in police uniforms. Mark froze. Why are they here?
Taeyong looked back at his brother with tears in his eyes.
Mark slowly walked towards the door, his heart pounding fast.
"Is this your brother?" The officer asked. Taeyong nodded. "We couldn't get ahold of your father"
"What's going on?" Mark whispered out. He was scared of the answer.
"Your mother was in a car accident. Drunk driver swerved off the road and hit her car. She's in the hospital." Mark's heart dropped. His knees felt weak and he collapsed. Taeyong tried to catch him, but it was so sudden. Everything felt like it was in slow motion, tears were escaping his eyes but he didn't feel them. He could see Taeyong calling his name but he couldn't hear him. Taeyong helped him up and helped him put his shoes on.
Mark followed Taeyong into the police car, but wasn't sure what was happening. Taeyong held his hand trying to anchor him. Mark squeezed it tightly.
Their father was on a business trip. He was in Korea and was supposed to be back in two days. Taeyong called his cell, his face timed him, and called his work phone, but no answer.
Taeyong was handling this surprisingly well. He wasn't crying, wasn't panicking. Internally he was freaking out but Mark didn't need to know that. He had to be strong, his little brother needed him.
Taeyong called their Aunt, Ha-Sun.
"Hello? "
"H-hi," his voice wavered for a second.
"Taeyongie! It's nice to hear from you. How have you been?"
"Uh, our mom.. got in a car accident. She's at the hospital. We are going there now. Dad won't answer his phone…"
"Oh… " she sighs " I'm on my way. It will take me three hours to get there. Can you handle that?" Taeyong makes a hmm sound.
"Is Min-Hyung with you?"
"Yes," he says as he looks over to his crying brother. He's looking out the window slowly crying with his hand laying limply in his brother's.
"I'm on my way. Take care of him until I get there, okay?"
"I will," Taeyong says quietly.
"Hang in there. I'm on my way. I love you guys," she says. Taeyong wants to cry, he wants to son into the phone and let his aunt make him feel better, but he can't.
"Love you too… " he says as she hangs up.
They get to the hospital and go to the emergency room and wait. They can't see her yet because she's in surgery.
Mark hasn't said a word since they got the news. They sit in the waiting room. Mark stopped crying when they got in the hospital.
"T-taeyong?" His brother squeezes out. Taeyong turns to the younger one who has red eyes from crying. "W-what if she dies?"
"Shh, she won't. Don't worry," Taeyong reassures him. Mark looks at him and bursts into tears. Taeyong hugs Mark tightly. Mark quietly sobs into his chest. He rubs circles into his back.
After a half an hour Mark's stomach grumbles. He had stopped crying and started staring at the wall.
"Are you hungry?" Taeyong asks. Mark shrugs. "I'll get you something," Taeyong goes to the vending machines, one has soda, one has cheap snacks like chips and poptarts. He puts some quarters in and gets a bag of trail mix for Mark and a granola bar for himself. Just as he pressed the button his phone rings. He reaches for the snacks then pulls out his phone. He sees who it is and answers immediately.
"Dad," he says, his voice betraying him again.
"Sorry I just woke up. Time difference is big. You called me a bunch, what's wrong?"
"Mom… Mom is… she got hit by a car. She's in the hospital. I'm here with Min-Hyung. She's in surgery," Taeyong let out in a humble of words. His father is silent.
"Im scheduling a flight back right now. How are you doing?" This is the first time someone has asked how he is, he let out a choked sob.
"N-not good," Taeyong said quietly.
"It's a lot. But you have to be strong for Min-Hyung. Untill I get there. Can you do that for me?"
"Yeah. I can… I called Aunt Ha-Sun. She's coming… "
"Okay good. I can't get out of this meeting today so I'll be there in a day or so," he said, understanding drifting from his tone. Taeyong was mad. Mad that he didn't run to help his children. His Aunt came running to them.
"Stay strong. Keep me in touch," he said as he hung up. Taeyong was mad. He wiped the tears on his face and walked over to Mark. He handed him the trail mix.
"Eat, please." Mark nodded and opened it up. He couldn't taste anything and he wanted to spit it out, but he kept chewing because he knew he needed to eat.
"Dad called. He said he'd be back as soon as he can… " Taeyong said. Mark turned to him. Mark had puppy dog eyes. He wanted to see his dad badly. He wanted to hug his dad, he wanted to be comforted by him even though he's not that kind of person.
A doctor stepped out and called their names. They leapt up and we're lead to a room in the ICU. They were on the 7th floor, in the Neuro department. The rooms were clean. They smelled of bleach and the walls were gray.
They entered the room and saw their mom in a bed with a tube stuck down her throat. She had scrapes all over her face and arms. Her leg was in a cast and her head was bandaged.
Mark ran over to her and held her hand, sobbing. Taeyong stayed 10 ft away. He was scared to move forward, scared he would start crying.
A doctor walked in. Pulled Taeyong out and told him what surgery she had and that she had brain damage. The doctor said they should go home and rest as it was now 1am.
Taeyong entered the room and Mark was still clung to their mom.
"Mark?" He didn't answer, "mark! Min-Hyung? Min-Hyung!?" Mark finally looked at him.
"We need to go. Visiting hours are over. We need rest."
"No. If I go she might… " Taeyong moved closer to him and wiped a year of his cheek.
"Hey.. it's okay. We can't do anything for her right now. The doctors will take care of her, okay?" Mark nodded and kissed her hand before they were off.
By the time they got home it was 2am and they were exhausted. They walked into the empty house and it suddenly seemed too big.
They were hungry and tired but they couldn't sleep and didn't have the energy to cook. Mark sat on the couch and stared off.
Suddenly the doorbell rang and Taeyong froze. He didn't know who it could be and was scared it was bad news again.
He forced himself to open it. It was his Aunt and his two cousins. His Aunt hugged him immediately.
"I'm so sorry, Taeyongie." Taeyong started to sob in her arms. He felt like he could release something that he was holding in for hours. She rubbed his back. After a minute he composed himself and let them in. Jaehyun, his 15 year old cousin gave him a hug.
"I'm sorry, dude," he said as he entered.
His younger cousin, Jaemin, who was 12 walked behind him giving him a hug.
All five of them talked and their Aunt made them food.
"I'm going to head to bed," their Aunt said. She smiled at all four boys. She kissed each of them on the cheek. They said their good nights and now it was just the four boys in the living room.
"We haven't been together like this since… our summer vacation," Jaemin said, running his hands through his light brown hair.
"Yeah, that was a fun trip. Remember when Johnny ate dirt while we were running around the pool? " Jaehyun asked. Mark smiled at the thought of their cousin, Johnny, falling. Jaemin laughed and Taeyong chuckled. They felt light for just a moment, talking about all the stupid things they did.
"It's 6am, we should probably sleep," Jaehyun said, checking his phone. They all stood up except for Mark.
"What's wrong?" Taeyong asked.
"I-I… don't want to sleep alone… " Mark said quietly. They all glanced at each other.
"Hey! Maybe we can make a fort and all sleep under it like old times!" Jaemin suggested.
"Yeah!" Jaehyun agreed.
They all got in their PJs and then went into the spare room with two twin beds and a couch. They took the mattresses off and put them in the middle of the room. They took sheets and made a tent over the beds, draping it on the couch. They all got inside, Jaehyun, Taeyong, Mark, then Jaemin. They were laying close to each other, but they didn't mind. Mark held Taeyong's hand.
"Goodnight, everyone!" Jaemin said in his normal high energy voice. Everyone mumbled a goodnight and Mark fell fast asleep surrounded by his family