Chapter Text
“Seoho, switch with me.”
“Eh?” Seoho shoots Youngjo a confused look. “Why? Hyung, no… I don’t really want to. It was so easy to find a present for Hwanwoong!”, he whines.
"Shsh! Keep your voice down!”, Youngjo scolds lightly. They are right in front of the practice room where Hwanwoong records a dance cover. The probability of him overhearing their conversation is low but Youngjo doesn’t want to take any chances.
"Why do you want to switch?”
"I… I just want to. Please, come on, do me the favor.”, Youngjo pleads, close to switching into aegyo mode.
"What do I get in return?” Seoho squints his eyes cheekily, obviously thinking of a way to get something out of this situation.
"I got Keonhee. I’ll buy you the gift. And I’ll pay for the one you’ve already bought for Hwanwoong.”
"And?”
“And?” Youngjo’s eyes shift, trying to come up with something on the spot. This isn’t as easy as he has planned. “And I’ll buy you dinner?”
“Not just ramen.”
“Not ramen. A real dinner. You can order anything. Okay? Now can I have Hwanwoong?”
Too literal, but true.
~***~
Chicken and beef jerky. Seriously.
Youngjo holds the two packages in his hands, an expression of utter disbelief on his face. Seoho probably meant well when getting these. Hwanwoong has mentioned more than once that he wants to lose weight. That’s also the reason Youngjo doesn’t see him very often these days. He is either in the practice room dancing or at the gym with Geonhak. When he returns home from a day of tough workouts Hwanwoong immediately goes to bed.
Youngjo misses him. He misses their talks and their laughs, them hanging out together and goofing around. Although, it probably is for the best.. the distance. Gives Youngjo time to calm his feelings and maybe for once act a bit more normal. But what is normal really? Not hug Hwanwoong? Not look for his touch and his closeness? That would be the opposite of normal. That’s not who he is. Hwanwoong would be the first to ask him what was wrong. Which kind of makes him wonder if he already is showing any kind of behavior that is giving away his true feelings. Is he standing too close? Is he too needy? Is he asking for Hwanwoong too often? Does he worry too much? Is it not appropriate to worry so much about a friend? Should he tone it down a notch? Oi… too many questions.
He tosses the jerky bags onto the nearby nightstand. There is one thing he does know. He cannot without any doubt give Hwanwoong this diet food. No. This is not going to happen. It will send the wrong message. First off, who told him to lose weight? Are they nuts? Or is this coming from Hwanwoong himself? Which would also be nuts. He is surely pressuring himself too much again. Youngjo feels the frown forming on his forehead. Hold on. That’s him being worried again.
Youngjo falls onto his bed and viciously rubs through his hair. This is so incredibly frustrating. There are so many good gift options, things that he would buy for Hwanwoong just… just because. However, all the things that come to his mind are also things that would rat him out. Especially the one he has already bought a week ago.
Maybe it is time to tell Hwanwoong the truth. Maybe it won’t be so bad. Maybe he will accept his feelings.
Maybe he should take the risk.
Maybe someday.
And maybe he should stick to the jerky after all.
~***~
Hwanwoong is the only one not to guess his manito correctly. Youngjo is not disappointed, the gift isn’t really anything special, and all the clues really pointed to Gunhak. In the end, he still feels like a winner. Hwanwoong is standing beside him, holding his hand, leaning on his shoulder. Youngjo couldn’t wish for more.
Since they don’t have any schedules for the rest of the day they head back to the dorm. Dongju wants to watch a movie with the members since it’s Christmas eve and he doesn’t want to be alone. They all agree quickly on a movie, before ordering chicken and tteokbokki. It’s supposed to be a cozy and fun evening. Youngjo can see that Hwanwoong isn’t entirely happy with the food choice but he gives in.
"It’s just tonight. Tomorrow you can exercise and eat healthy again.”, he says, laying an arm around Hwanwoong’s shoulders.
"Yeah, tomorrow I can eat your jerky.” Hwanwoong laughs.
“Yeah. That’s… a good idea.”, Youngjo answers with a small smile. He wants to say more, comfort Hwanwoong that weight isn’t everything, and that he has so much more to show than his beautiful features. Yet, at this moment he feels a hand around his upper arm.
“Hyung, can I talk with you for a second?” Seoho doesn’t wait for answer but pulls Youngjo away from Hwanwoong.
“Seoho… wait- what do you want to ta-”
The door to his room shuts behind them and Seoho whirls around.
"Why did you give him my jerky?” The utter confusion on Seoho’s face is painfully visible. “I thought you wanted to switch because you had already bought something for Hwanwoong.”
Youngjo fidgets with his fingers and avoids Seoho’s glance. This will be difficult if not impossible to explain. So he decides not talk and instead walks over to his bed and reaches under his pillow. He pulls out a small box and hands it over to Seoho.
Seoho opens the box, his jaw drops almost instantly and he looks up at Youngjo.
"Hyung...”
"I know.”
"No, but… this is a very nice gift, but-”
"Yeah. I couldn’t give him that."
Seoho returns the box to its owner. An awkward silence fills the room.
"Since when-”
"I’m not entirely sure.”, Youngjo answers, knowing exactly how the question was supposed to end. “It’s been a while, though.”
"Who else knows about this?”
"Just you.” Youngjo flaps down onto his bed. “And please, don’t tell anyone else.”
"Yes, of course!”, is Seoho’s immediate answer. “But… don’t you think Hwanwoong needs to know?”
"Eventually, yes. But I will try to keep this to myself for a bit longer.” Youngjo gives Seoho a sad smile.
"I understand.”
"THE FOOD IS HERE!” Keonhee’s voice can be heard throughout the entire apartment.
"You can go. I’ll be right there.”
Seoho nods, understanding the hint that Youngjo needs to be alone for a while, and silently leaves the room.
Youngjo is still holding the small box, turning it around slowly, playing with the little bow on top. He doesn’t need to open it to know what’s inside. The image of the silver bracelet with the pendant that has both their names engraved is burned into his mind.
He would have loved to see Hwanwoong wear it. He would have loved to hear that clinking sound the bracelet would make when Hwanwoong would shake his wrist or make a slightly bigger dance movement. To watch him show it around, not letting the members touch it because it would be so precious to him.
To take his hand in his and let both their bracelets connect.
Youngjo sighs unconsciously. The box is shoved back under his pillow. He grabs his blanket and leaves the room, heading back to the living room, where his members already have gathered around the table and are unpacking the food.
"Hyung! I saved you a seat!” Hwanwoong waves his hand as he calls him over. Youngjo glances at Hwanwoong’s wrist. Empty. And still he is convinced that he has just heard a soft clinking sound.
Maybe someday.