Work Text:
Jon was late.
It was the stupid Lannister-Tarth wedding photos, they were driving him mad. He had done the engagement photos as a favor to Tyrion, who was the brother-in-law, and they had been hellish then. The height difference between the happy couple, the groom’s gold hand, the fact that his so-called friend Tormund was no longer speaking to him because he had met the bride at one of Dany’s various law firm mixer events—Tormund’s bar had provided the liquor and bartending services for that one—and inisted that she was the one.
Plus Jon thought there was something suspicious going on between the groom and his twin sister, but Dany always just told him not to say anything. “It’s Lannister family affairs, I try to stay out of them as much as a possibly can,” she advised.
He spun the steering wheel of the SUV hard into the parking lot of Sweet Summer Children Pre-Kindergarten School, slamming the brakes when the disapproving face of Mrs. Mordane appeared, walking right off the curb and into the way of the car. “I know I’m late!” he apologized, harried, shoving it into park. “I’m sorry, I got carried away at work.”
“Work?” Mordane sniffed. Jon hated her; she had been Sansa and Arya’s teacher when they were small too. She clearly disapproved. “Well you are late. The girls have been beside themselves with worry and fear.”
I highly doubt that. If there was one thing his little girls did not have it was fear of anything. They also only ever worried about whether Ghost would miss them when they went to school, if Santa really checked his list twice, and what would happen if the iPad battery ran out and they didn’t have Peppa Pig or Mickey’s Playhouse or gasp…his phone forgot to update with the newest Disney Princess song?
There were a few straggler kids and their parents wandering from the school to the parked cars in a row along the carpool pickup lane. Jon had made a grievous mistake one of the first days he’d taken the girls in going the opposite direction, thinking it would be faster. He’d never achieved so many enemies so fast. He tried to ignore some of the stares that he got; he really didn’t know what to make of some of the mothers. He was always polite to them. He smiled awkwardly at one of the leaders, a red-head named Ros, who winked and turned, her spandex yoga pants making it painfully clear she wasn’t wearing underwear.
He sighed, lifting a hand. “Hello Ros.”
“Jon!” she called, giggling. Her gaggle of friends tittered around her, waving as their kids wandered off. “It’s been so long!”
“I think I saw you last Friday.” The girls only went three times a week for half a day. It was only Monday. Barely two days had passed.
Ros shrugged, sauntering over to him, tapping her bright-red nails on her half-empty Starbucks iced latte cup. She smirked. “I was wondering what happened to you, you are always on time!”
“Work.”
“Oh you work?” she asked, using the same strange tone that Mordane had used a moment before. He sighed, nodding, forcing a smile. She grinned. “I thought that was your wife who did the work?”
Jon was about to say that yes he worked, when one of his daughters—thank the gods --ran over, slamming hard into his knees. A quick glance downward confirmed it was Aly, pink glasses smashing into his kneecap. “Hey baby,” he greeted her, hoisting her up onto his hip, while the other two raced to join.
Lya took one look at Ros, made a sound that was kind of like a hiss, and pointed her finger, glaring. “He’s my daddy!”
Ros cooed, her snakelike smile pulling over her teeth as she batted her eyelashes at him, like some sort of cartoon villain. “And he certainly is…a daddy.”
Jon wasn’t sure what that meant. He smiled politely again. “I better get them home.”
“See you on Wednesday, Jon! Oh, you know it is your turn to bring the morning snack, right?” Ros licked her lips, some of the other mothers around her giggling. “Look forward to it.”
Morning snack? Jon sighed, turning around. He had the peculiar feeling of eyes on him, but didn’t think much of it because he had just stumbled straight into what appeared to be a gigantic trash sack at his feet. “What is this?” he asked.
Mordane walked over, arms crossed. “The girls volunteered you to clean all the dress up trunk clothing. They said you do all the laundry at home.” She pursed her lips into a scowling look Jon thought would have made his stepmother back in Winterfell exceptionally proud. Perhaps this was where she and Sansa had learned it. “I take it that is one more thing your wife does not do at the home.”
“No, she birthed three girls at the same time, I think doing laundry is the least I can do,” Jon said, before he realized it had come out of his mouth. He ducked his head at the appalled look Mordane shot him, and grabbed the sack with one hand, while trying to hold onto Aly with his other.
Rhae shot up next to him, waving something he couldn’t see. “Daddy I got a star!”
“And I did too!”
“Me too!”
They chattered about whatever stars they had received on their artwork, Jon nodding absently and buckling each one into their seats. They always sat in order—Aly, Rhae, and Lya, but for some reason wanted to switch, which prompted a screaming fit from Rhae who did not want to move, even though Aly wanted her seat. Lya decided to take the moment he wasn’t dealing with her to grab for his camera bag, snatching his Nikon and beginning to take pictures, going ooh every few seconds.
He finally had to resort to bribery to get Rhae to sit in the other seat for once, but didn’t know how long it would last. He saved the Nikon from disaster, shoved the sack of clothes into the back, sighing at the enormity of the thing. At least it is laundry day today, he figured.
As he drove away, he waved again to the mothers who were all waving back. He shook his head, glancing in the rearview mirror at the girls, who were entranced by Disney’s “Robin Hood” playing on the screen above.
The drive home was relatively quiet, until Rhae realized that he hadn’t given her the chocolate he’d promised if she would sit in the other seat and began to cry. Lya then thought the best thing to do to get her sister to stop was to smack her with a book and Aly tried to defend her by kicking at Lya.
Dany better not be working late, Jon thought darkly, turning into a drive-thru to get them milkshakes to stop them from screaming.
~/~/~/~
“Um, can I ask what all this is about? Did you raid a vintage store or something?”
Jon hefted another basket of old shirts, pants, and dresses from the dryer, carrying it down the hallway to the master bedroom so he could fold them. Somehow the dirty clothes—with stains and substances he did not want to know—had white dog hair all over them even though Ghost had only decided to roll into one batch of laundry sitting on the floor.
“Your daughters volunteered me. Said that their Daddy cleans all the clothes at home,” he explained.
Dany snorted, following him and closed the door behind her. “Well aren’t they sweet.”
“Soooo sweet,” he said dramatically, making a face at her.
She picked up one of the dresses, pulling it on over the pencil skirt and one of his t-shirts she’d been wearing since Lya got spaghetti sauce on her blouse when she’d come home during dinner. The dress was a red velvet thing that swept the ground and had massive bell sleeves. She pulled it tight to her neck, dropping her voice and widening her eyes. “The night is dark and full of terrors!”
Jon laughed, throwing a balled-up shirt at her. “Oooh, so scary!” He arched an eyebrow. It wasn’t that it was doing things for him, but well…it was kind of doing things for him. He moved around the side of the bed, taking her into his arms, bunching the velvet up at her sides as she leaned into him for a kiss. “You don’t look half bad there, Red Woman,” he teased, murmuring over her lips.
“Hmm…this makes me feel like I’m pregnant again.”
“Oh?”
She tugged away and dragged the front of it out about a foot from her belly, laughing. He shrugged; he thought she had been beautiful pregnant, even if she insisted, she looked like a blimp. “Giving me flashbacks to those awful caftans I ended up having to wear in my third trimester because nothing bloody fit me anymore.” She tugged off the dress, tossing it back into the pile while he moved back to folding.
They fell into comfortable silence; him folding, Ghost snoring, and Dany perusing the three school folders in front of her on the mattress. One with Winterfell Wolves on the front—Lya; one with jungle animals—Aly; and one with Disney’s Belle—Rhae. She scribbled her name on some sort of thing claiming that someone in the family had at least looked at the folders, and then stopped, a frown creasing her smooth brow. “Jon?”
“Hmm?” He was wondering how fast he could fold these damn things and get Dany naked. The girls were fast asleep, they’d gone down lightening fast. It was possible they’d wake up before midnight, wanting another story or cup of water. He wasn’t proud of it, but when they needed to crunch time, he could make do. They had at least another two hours. That was plenty of time…
Dany held up a calendar, tapping her finger to one of the boxes. “You’re on for morning snacks on Wednesday.”
“Oh, damn that’s right. Ros said something like that.”
He wasn’t sure what it was, but something sent a chill into the air between them. “Ros?” Dany casually asked, slipping the paper back into the folder. She gathered them up, neatly tapping the sides. Jon frowned; he felt like he might be int rouble but wasn’t sure why. “Who is that?”
“Some mom at the school. Kind of the ringleader.”
“Oh?”
“Hmm. Redhead.”
Dany’s head jerked up. She scowled. “A redhead?” Now she was downright frosty.
Jon wasn’t sure what he’d done. He felt like he should apologize though. He finished folding and put the basket down on the floor, kicking it backwards towards the wall. He moved onto the bed, crawling over to straddle her legs, pinning her back against the pillows. “The only hair color I like,” he murmured, waggling his eyebrows at her. “Is silver.”
She smiled, wrinkling her nose, her fingers coming to grip his chin, accepting the kiss he planted rather messily on her lips. She giggled, when he began to blow raspberries from her lips down her neck, clearly fixing whatever he’d messed up. “Stop!” she giggled. “Ah! Jon!”
“I don’t want to talk about snacks,” he said, pushing up his shirt from her hips. He kissed her again, mumbling. “You’re the only snack I want.”
Dany giggled, stifling her laughter with the back of her hand so the girls didn’t come running, thinking they were missing out on some fun.
~/~/~/~
“Daddy can’t have peanuts. Cause’ Joey ‘llergic.”
Jon shoved the box of peanut butter crackers into the cupboard, scrambling. He’d forgotten the damn morning snack, despite Dany reminding him again the previous night, asking if he wanted her to grab something on the way home from work. He said no, he’d do it, but then the damn Lannister-Tarth photos took up his time again and he lost track. He also had to help the girls with their tying, buttoning, and zipping, apparently, they would be tested on these skills.
Since they had been able to at least button their own clothes for about a yaer, Jon thought they would ace with flying colors, until Lya ended up getting her shirt stuck around her head. He pushed his fingers through his hair, shutting the cupboard. “Well what about cookies?”
“No sugar, cause’ Sara can’t eat it.” This was from Rhae.
So kind of them to remember all the kids’ food issues, Jon thought, sighing and staring into the fridge now. He heard footsteps on the stairs, looking over to see Dany coming into the kitchen, prim and proper in her pinstriped suit. “Court today?”
“Pre-trial hearing,” Dany said, heels clacking on the tile. She pulled a wipe from one of the dozens of containers scattered through the house, wiping chocolate milk from Aly’s mouth and syrup from Lya’s fingers. Rhae was trying to sneak some of her berries to Ghost; a difficult thing to hide, since the blue and red from the fruit smeared on his white muzzle, making it painfully obvious. Dany glanced over her shoulder. “Need some help with the snack?”
“I got it.” He pulled out a container of juice boxes, figuring they’d just have a liquid snack, when he remembered that there couldn’t be sugar. What the seven hells do these kids eat these days?
Rhae looked up from over the edge of the table. “Miss Ros says you’re a snack Daddy.” A pin could drop in the kitchen, Jon thought, revolving slowly on his foot to peer at his little girl, her tufts of silver-blonde hair sticking out of her braid. She blinked, innocent, cocking her head. “What’s tha’ mean?”
He choked, coughing and trying to swallow the forming lump in his now very try throat. “Uh…snack, you say?”
“Hmm, she says your butt’s a snack.”
This came from Lya. Gods I thought you liked me the most, he thought, closing his eyes at Dany’s little ‘ah-hem’ sound. “Who is this that says this around you girls?” she asked, casual.
“Miss Ros. She’s Petey’s momma.” Aly wiped her fingers over her glasses, smudging them. She smiled up, angelic. “Miss Jeyne says Daddy got a tight butt.”
Jon wanted to die. He was sure it was happening. Perhaps a stroke? His left eye had begun to twitch, yet his right side was now numb. He cougheda gain. “Girls, I do not know um, why they are saying these things, but…but…”
“It’s adult’s only conversation,” Dany said, firm, ever the disciplinarian. She stood straight, snapping her fingers. “Shoes on now little dragons!”
The three of them giggled, running to the front of the house, banging and scrambling to get their shoes on. Ghost ran off, abandoning him. Jon stood still, hands at his sides, as Dany finished cleaning up the girls’ dishes from the table, carting them to the sink. She said nothing. He didn’t know why he felt like he was in trouble again. “Um…” he frowned. “Have I…have I done something wrong?”
“Wrong? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Okay.” He still wasn’t quite sure. He turned back to the fridge. “I don’t know if I can find a snack in here.”
“Oh I’ll be getting the snack this morning.” Dany slapped his ass on her way by, picking up her tote bag from the table. She smirked at him, violet eyes flashing. “Are you going to come or…”
Jon figured he might as well.
Although he felt like he was on his way to someone’s funeral, sitting in the passenger seat while Dany hummed under her breath the ride to the store, the girls singing along in the background to one of their shows.
~/~/~/~
“Oh Jon! Do you need any help with the snack?”
Jon peeked around the side of the SUV’s open back door, shaking his head, while Dany walked in front of the car, cutting off his side of Ros, who was wearing a very low-cut tank-top that morning. “You must be Ros!” she exclaimed. She held onto Lya and Aly’s hands, while Rhae held onto Lya’s. A beatific smile pulled over her face, red lips tugging over her teeth. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Daenerys, Jon’s wife.”
Ohhh…. Things seemed to click suddenly in his mind, removing the gluten-free vegan cupcakes from the back of the car, stepping around to follow Dany and the girls into the school, Ros somewhat surprised, taken aback. He ducked his head, trotting after his wife, who deposited the girls, the cupcakes, and waved at the group that was ogling. She introduced herself, and even gave her card to someone who claimed they were looking for an attorney for their company.
Jon kissed the girls goodbye, ignored Mordane’s scowl that he’d apparently done alright by washing and folding the clothes, and slipped out of the school as easily as he’d slipped in, hurrying back to the SUV. He waved at Ros, who was now glowering at him. “See you later,” he called.
Dany shoved her sunglasses on, waving at Ros. “Nice to meet you!” She walked over to him, grabbing hold of one of his arse cheeks, squeezing hard, leaning around to whisper up at him. “This is my snack. No one else’s.”
Cheeks flaming red, he got into the car after her, saying nothing until they were almost home. He reached his hand over and took hers, squeezing tight. “I love you,” he said, leaning his head back on the headrest, hoping she could hear it in his voice. Her eyes were still fixed on the road. “And the only girl or should I say girls who have stolen my heart besides you, are the three little dragons you managed to grow inside of you and gift me with four years ago.” Almost five now, hard to believe.
She pulled the SUV into their driveway, shoving the gearshift up and pushed her glasses onto the top of her head. He was shocked to see that her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, throat bobbing. “I’m never jealous, I just…I sometimes look at my stomach and I’ve got those lines on the side and I can never lose those last ten pounds that just sit there on my hips and…and I’m at work all the bloody time and the girls tell their teacher you do the laundry and you do the snacks and…and…”
He reached over, arms going around her, rather awkwardly given the console between them. He stroked her hair, lips brushing over her forehead, smiling. “I love those lines on yoru stomach,” he whispered. He pulled back, meeting her misty gaze. He trailed his hand over to cup over her hip. “And those ten pounds are my ten pounds. That’s ten pounds of triplets you carried, and you gave birth to. Ten pounds of my babies. I love those ten pounds. Don’t you ever fucking lose those ten pounds.”
She hiccupped, laughing. “Are you ordering me Jon Snow?”
“Yes. I’m ordering you to never lose those ten pounds. I love doing laundry, I love getting snacks for school, and I honestly had no idea they said anything about my butt.” His cheeks went red and warm again. It was so silly; he didn’t understand their interest in it. It was just a butt!
Dany slipped her head under his chin, sighing hard, her breath tickling at his skin. “I feel like an idiot. I never get jealous.”
“It was kind of hot.”
She smacked his chest. “Shut up!”
He laughed. He knew it was hard on her, to miss a lot of the girls’ days because she was working, and he got them so often. He frowned briefly, thinking back to something she said a couple days ago. “You didn’t like that Ros was a redhead?”
“Oh um, yeah, uh…bad memories I guess.”
They climbed out of the car, walking back up to the house, his arm around her immediately once they left the driveway. He frowned, thinking back. “You don’t like redheads because of Ygritte!” he laughed, realizing. His ex-girlfriend in university had been quite a handful, a bit crazy, and way more into him than he had been into her. It hadn’t ended well. Not the least of which because Ygritte asserted, to anyone who bothered to ask, they were still together when he’d stumbled blindly into his first date with Dany. The restraining order he’d had to get against her begged to differ.
Another kiss to the top of her head. “I have an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“I can’t look at those Lannister-Tarth photos anymore, I’m going mad. Since I don’t have to get the girls until one, how about I go with you to court?”
Dany arched a brow, letting herself into the house to grab her car keys from the rack by the door. Ghost skittered in, thinking that he was going on a walk. “You want to watch me in court?”
Jon nodded. “Yes.”
“A pre-trial hearing in corporate law? Jon Snow you don’t have to subject yourself to that.”
“But I want to. I want to subject myself to it and then later I can subject myself to anything you want to do with me.”
Dany’s eyes filled with glee; it should have scared him. “Anything?”
Jon frowned. “Um…yes?”
~/~/~/~
“Me first!”
“No me!”
“I want to do it!”
Jon leaned forward over Dany’s nails, carefully adding the topcoat of red to her pinkie. He had one of his daughters—Aly— leaning over his hair, yanking at the strands into a braid while his toes were undergoing a paint job in a lovely shade of tangerine by Lya. Rhae was busy brushing out Dany’s hair, adding clips here and there. She looked a bit like Medusa, silver everywhere. “I don’t know why you thought this was some sort of punishment, we do this all the time,” he said.
Dany glanced down at the job he was doing on her nails. “Not bad Jon Snow, you could have a career as a manicurist.”
“Save you some money for sure.”
“That it would. My toes are next, don’t forget.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Rhaella sighed dreamily, clutching her hands together, the hairbrush between them. “I love Spa Day! Can we do this all the time?”
“Mummy can we do makeup next?” Aly wondered.
Lya popped her head up from his feet, tangerine nail polish all over her hands. “Yeah! I wanna’ do that!”
Dany wiggled her eyebrows. “What would you have done with three boys?”
Jon shrugged, leaning back over to finish with her nails. “I dunno, but we wouldn’t look half as good.”
“But you’d still be a snack.”
He wiggled his brows, leering at her. “As would you, my dear.” Dany giggled, the girls making gagging faces—Aly and Lya—while Rhae swooned, as he planted a kiss hard on her lips.
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