Chapter Text
"I love you so much", Corinne said, leaning against Adam's chest. He gave her a careful kiss on the hair: "I love you too", he whispered. Unwillingly, he remembered the doubts he had just a few weeks ago. When he started to wonder what was keeping him here. Even almost came to the conclusion that it were only Thomas and Ryan he couldn't leave, not his wife. But right here, right now, he was certain: Corinne was the woman he loved, the woman he wanted to grow old with, the women he would do anything to keep happy and safe. They stayed in that hugging position for a while, Corinne's sobs got quieter. Suddenly, they heard the front door opening and the voice of their youngest: "Mum? Dad? Where are you?" Corinne stirred: "It's the boys", she whispered, wiping her tears away with her sleeve, "we should tell them". Adam stopped her: "No, I will talk to them. You stay here and rest" For a moment, she looked as if she wanted to protest, but she didn't and dropped on the bed instead. Adam gave her a last kiss on the cheek and headed downstairs.
Not a second too early, as he met Ryan on top of the stairs, apparently looking for his parents. His face lit up when he saw his father: "Dad! You won't believe this! I've got an A on...", he stopped and stared at Adam "what's wrong?", he questioned, the excitement in his eyes now replaced by fear. Of course, Ryan would notice that something was off, no matter how hard Adam tried to look normal. His sweet, sensitive, little boy. Before he could have answered, he heard Thomas's voice from downstairs: "Ryan! Come back here, you don't know what they are doing up there!" "Nothing inappropriate, thank you very much!", Adam called back, which earned him a chuckle from Thomas. Ryan was still waiting for an answer, so Adam grasped his hand and said: "Come, I'll talk to you guys downstairs". Adam could feel Ryan's curious and concerned eyes on him, but he ignored it for the moment. Downstairs, they were greeted by Thomas who was hanging Ryan's coat up. The younger one had forgotten to do that again. His question, on the other hand, was not forgotten. As soon as Ryan's foot had left the last step, he said: "Okay, we're downstairs, tell us what's the matter!" Now Thomas looked concerned as well: "Something's the matter?", he asked, just then he seemed to realize that his mother was not coming down too, so he added: "Is Mum ill?" Adam sighed: "No...well, at least not physically. She is rather...sad, you could say." It didn't need his sons' faces to tell Adam what a maddingly unhelpful explanation that was. He shook his head and tried again: "Let's have a seat, alright? I'll explain it to you" He went into the living room and sat himself down. The boys exchanged a look and followed, but they kept standing.
While Adam was still searching for the right words in his head, Thomas crossed his arms and said: "Dad? What happened? What's wrong with Mum?" "Yeah, why is she sad? So sad she doesn't want to see us?", added his brother in a high-pitched voice that indicated he was about to cry or panic or both. Adam held up his hands as if he was trying to calm a frightened animal down: "Don't worry boys, she will be okay". He paused for a few seconds and saw some relief in his sons' eyes, then he took a deep breath and continued: "Mum went to the doctor's today after she had bad cramps. And the doctor told her that…", he paused again, wondering again what could be the right way to tell his sons the sad news, then decided to use similar words Corinne had used on him: "He told her that the baby is gone. She, I mean, we lost it". Had he held himself together the whole time since he knew, now that he actually spoke out loud what had happened, he felt tears filling his eyes. He let them run down his cheeks. What the hell, he had lost that baby as much as Corinne. Who said he wasn't allowed to mourn?
The boys were silent, Adam supposed out of shock. They had not been looking forward to having a baby in the house as much as their parents had, but they were fourteen and ten years old, therefore old enough to know what a miscarriage was and how serious it was. Suddenly, Ryan went to his father, crawled on his lap and wrapped his arms around him. Adam returned the hug and buried his nose in his son's hair for a while. He knew Ryan wasn't doing this so much to be consoled himself, but rather in a desperate effort to console his dad. That sweet boy. "Dad? You think it is okay when I go and see how Mum's doing?", asked Thomas after some moments. That other sweet boy. Adam hesitated, but decided it should be alright, now that Thomas knew what was wrong: "That's kind of you, go try, but she might not want to see you right now". "Don't worry, I got this", answered his older son and went upstairs. Adam was sure that he was right. While Ryan was astonishing when it came to sensing other people's (hidden) feelings, Thomas was a master in finding the correct words to deal with them.
Again a few moments passed, then Ryan lifted his head: "Daddy?", he said carefully "Is it okay that I'm hungry?" Adam was a little embarrassed that his son felt the need to ask that question (although it was considerate of him) and that he had not thought about preparing any food until now. "Of course it is, honey, would you like to help me cook something?" "Can we cook something that will make Mummy happy?", Ryan asked. Awww. Adam smiled: "What do you think will make her happy?" "Spaghetti!", declared the Boy with a conviction that was hard to contradict. His dad chuckled "Okay, then let's make her some, shall we?" "And for us too!", added the ten-year-old as he followed his father into the kitchen.
Adam turned off the cooker and Ryan was setting the table when Corinne and Thomas entered the room. Thomas had an arm wrapped around his mother's shoulder and Corinne's eyes were still a bit red. But she smiled: "Oh, have you two prepared dinner?" Adam kissed her: "All Ryan's idea", he answered. Ryan stood by the table and smiled shyly. "Are you feeling better now?", he asked looking at his mother in a hopeful manner. Adam knew that his youngest was dying to run to her and hug her, but he didn't dare to just yet. Luckily, Corinne was exactly as sensitive as her son was and understood his problem without any words. Gently, she pulled away from Thomas and Adam to pull Ryan into her arms. "Yes, I'm feeling better, baby, thank you", she murmured. Ryan made a face: "I'll be your baby forever now, will I?" Thomas and Adam exchanged an amused glance, they both remembered Ryan's excitement about not being the little one in the family anymore, a position he had never been fond of. Adam laid an arm around Thomas: "Thank you for looking after her", he whispered. Thomas nodded: "Always", he whispered back and leaned his head against his father's shoulder. Adam gave him a soft kiss on the head. A warm rush of fondness went through him as he looked at his little family. Everything was going to be okay, he was sure, as long as he had his three most important people in the world.