Work Text:
Doyoung hasn't stopped staring blankly at the ceiling, still not recovered from the video Kun sent him moments ago.
Jaehyun, kissed, someone, in front of, their apartment's door.
Doyoung's quite sure, or 100% sure, that the boy in the video is not him. He doesn't have that yellow knit sweatshirt, neither that rose gold watch. And no, that grey has never been in Doyoung's wishlist for his hair color.
In conclusion, yeah, it's not him.
It took Doyoung hours to watch and rewatch a five-second long video, again and again, just to make sure that it's Jaehyun in the video. It's Jaehyun, Jaehyun and someone else, not Doyoung.
First time in such a long period does Doyoung experience such a heart attack. He rushes into the washroom, furiously taps water onto his face, let them wipe away all his tears. His cheeks hurt from being rubbed continuously by his hands, reminds him that the feeling is real, everything is real, even the video Kun sent him is now a part of fact.
Everything is real, the only lie lies on Jaehyun's words.
__
It's midnight when Jaehyun got home, Doyoung took a quick glare at the clock as the echo of the door reached his bedroom. He stood up, tried his best to act normally and stepped out of their bedroom.
- Jae? You overworked today? It's midnight already!
Jaehyun startled, looked up as he was taking off his shoes, quietly asked:
- Doie? Shouldn't you sleep already? I told you I have clients to meet today right?
- I'm just not able to sleep, - Doyoung took small steps towards Jaehyun, helped him with his bag - did Woojae get drunk today?
Jaehyun smiled before answering his question, which Doyoung believed was a relieved one. The younger then hugged him slightly and left a kiss on his crown, followed Doyoung to their bedroom and took a shower later. Everything was just as peaceful as their everyday, when Jaehyun goes back home late after work and cuddles with Doyoung on their bed after having all his hygiene done. However, Doyoung knew, he really knew, it was not.
He knew nothing was the same. His mind screamed, demanded him to ask for the answer, 'Confront him right now! Ask him who was that grey hair boy? Who was him kissing in front of their apartment? Who was that?'
But is it really important who that boy was?
Doyoung just had to know that it was not him.
When Jaehyun stepped out of the bathroom, Doyoung, who was supposed to lazily lie on the bed waiting for his boyfriend to show up, couldn't be seen in their bedroom. He pointed out Doyoung was sitting on the couch in their living room, hand switching TV channel unconsciously. Jaehyun then brought their blankets along with him, joined Doyoung on the couch by lying his head on his boyfriend's thigh. Doyoung put the remote back on the table, brushed his hands to Jaehyun's fluffy hair gently. The latter hummed in comfort, took one of the other's hand, left small kisses along his palm.
- Jaehyun ah, I've been thinking about changing my hair color... - Doyoung suddenly said, his hand still caressing Jaehyun's scalp - to grey. Jeno said this color is too bright on me.
He could clearly tell that Jaehyun did startle for a moment, but right after that, he grabbed the remote on the table, switched to his favorite on-going drama and said:
- It's up to you, babe. Whatever you do, whatever color you have, you know that I still love you.
Doyoung responded by a small smile and a kiss on Jaehyun's forehead. If he hadn't seen the video, if it was him a day ago, he would have believed it right away. He would have been the happiest man on earth, having such a sweet and romantic (through a little bit too cheesy for someone's preference maybe, he didn't care) love. He would have given his Jaehyun the deepest kiss, the tightest hug, all -est things in the world to express his affectionate. But things just didn't go like that. Suddenly Doyoung wished so badly that whoever in the video was not Jaehyun, that everything was just a dream or maybe an alternative reality, or accidentally both him and Kun had problem with their eyesight that they mistook someone for Jaehyun.
Everything was just a dream.
Doyoung had no other choice. He can not leave his own heart hanging like that, he needed an answer. The tiny security camera he installed in front of his apartment just a week ago - which he didn't have a chance to tell Jaehyun about, was then made its use. He decided to take a day off, asked Kun the time 'the kiss' happened, locked himself in his room to extract the video.
He prayed all night long, even until he opened his SD, until his Jaehyun showed up in the frame with a stranger with stylish grey hair, he kept on telling himself it was an acquaintance, they were platonic friends. Then Jaehyun kissed the stranger right in the lips, Doyoung immediately shut down the computer and rushed out of his room.
It was real.
He opened his phone with his shaking hands, made a call with Taeil. The older took a solid minute to pick up, greeted Doyoung with his sleepy voice:
- Sorry Doyoung, I finished my work at 3 this morning. Is it emergency?
- Hyung, Jae cheated on me.
No more sound was made in a moment and Doyoung started crying. Suddenly Taeil was as awake as he took Johnny's morning coffee. The older asked softly:
- Are you sure? Have you double-checked? You know it might not be him, right?
- He kissed someone else in front of our apartment. - Doyoung's voice was heard through his sobbing - I saw the video. It's him.
- Can I come?
- No hyung, I just need someone to cry to.
It was silence again on the other line while Doyoung cried louder every moment. Taeil's heart was shattered and he swore he had never been wanting to kill anyone that much. Doyoung continued his emotional call for more than ten minutes, thanked Taeil for listening and then cut the line.
__
It was the forth time in a week that Jaehyun came home at midnight. He surprised, or to say, a little bit terrified as he found out suitcases were all over the living room. What happened? It was not the cleaning period of the year where they sort out all of their stuff and donate non-used ones nor any of them had any plan to travel. And even if Doyoung had, how long would he go with this much luggage? Or was his house robbed? What kind of robbery put their robbed stuff into suitcases like this? Out of the blue, Jaehyun heard footsteps from their bedroom. He walked towards the door, tried to open but it was locked. He was about to smash the door when suddenly a soft sob was let out. Jaehyun's hand stopped, he carefully asked:
- Doie? Hyung? Are you crying?
- Jaehyun ah, - his boyfriend's fragile voice broke Jaehyun's heart - please go home. I sorted all your stuff in the living room.
Jaehyun frowned. He didn't believe in what he had just heard, after a moment of freezing, he asked:
- What do you mean Doie? This is my house. And i'm here, i'm home already.
- No, Jaehyun. - Doyoung stopped himself from crying so hard with a cough - This is originally my house, and it is no longer yours. - He took a deep breathe - You know what, honestly I don't care who that grey-hair guy was. All I need to know is he was not me. You chose to kiss him in front of our apartment, in front of our house, Jaehyun, from that very moment, this house is no longer yours.
- Hyung, what are you saying?
- Jae, you can stop pretending. Please stop. Stop lying to me, please. - Doyoung's voice became shaky - If I hadn't found out the truth myself, I would have believed in you, like always. But I did. Tell me what i should do apart from letting you go? After praying for the stranger not to come up, praying for you not to kiss him, what should I do? My faith in you collapsed, Jae, my everything collapsed. I chose to trust you despite your difference, even when I realize you started coming home later, when I saw wrinkles on your clothes, I chose to believe you were working so hard for you, for me, for us.
He stopped for a moment, just in time to hear a sigh from the other side of the door.
- Jaehyun, we work in the same position but in the end, it has always been me who was waiting for you. I waited for you to come home, to join our dinners, to go to our dates, to remember our anniversaries. I tried to fulfill my brain with your sugar-coated words, but Jae, your words are not filled with sugar, but coated. I can't feel your love anymore, I just chose to believed it, in something that is no longer exist.
Doyoung was broken, in every way. His heart hurt so bad, he couldn't stop himself from crying, his legs couldn't stand straight that he slipped and ended up curling on the floor. Throughout the day, when he was cleaning up Jaehyun's stuff, his mind had been going through various situations could happen and he thought he was ready for everything. In fact he wasn't.
- Hyung, I'm sorry.
Jaehyun's apologetic voice went through the door. He probably sat down to Doyoung's level, probably, because Doyoung knew he could never trust Jaehyun anymore in his whole life.
- Hyung, I'm sorry. I would not cover up anything by any excuse, it was me who made a mistake. I'm so sorry for it, Doie, can I talk to you face to face? I...
- No, Jaehyun, no. - Doyoung's voice became fierce. - There would be no second talk, nor chance, nor everything. Your belongings are out there all, took them with you.
- But Doie-
- Think again, Jae. Are you really sorry? If I don't find it out by myself, will you ever tell me about it? Will you? Will there ever be an apology? I don't think so, really. If you are really sorry, you would have told that in the first place, on that very day, you might have said something. Were you sorry? Were you sorry when your lips touched? Did you think about me sorrily in that very moment? Jae, I won't accept any apologize. Stop.
No more words were said. Doyoung gave up, climbed onto their bed, covered himself with their blanket and started to burst into tears. What the hell did he expect? An excuse from Jaehyun, that he mistook the boy as Doyoung, or he was so freaking drunk that he didn't aware of anything? Any excuse, though dumb and stupid, if given, Doyoung might choose to believe again.
However, none of them was made, only reality slapped Doyoung to his verge of bearing.
The show Jaehyun put on was so perfect that Doyoung thought he was the happiest man on Earth. Turned out he was just somebody in Jaehyun's life, shared a home with fondness and like a fool, one day he woke up realizing everything was a lie. All Jaehyun's sugar-coated words, all his gentle acts, all his care and such, were they for Doyoung only? During those days, Doyoung's happiest days, was there anyone else holding Jaehyun's hand like he did, watching movies with Jaehyun like he did, going on dates with Jaehyun like he did? Was he the only one? Doyoung found out he was a fool, believing in the perfect-boyfriend Jaehyun was just to know that he would never play the other lead role in Jaehyun's life.
It hurt AF.
__
Doyoung woke up the next morning due to the sound of suitcases' wheel rolling on the floor.
It was it. Jaehyun was leaving.
Doyoung's head was so heavy and his eyes were puffy to the point that he couldn't open them properly, which he referred to a good thing since he wouldn't have to watch Jaehyun disappearing from his life. Not a week gone by but Doyoung's life had already turned into a complete mess with his heart then shattered into pieces.
Jaehyun had gone. The silence came up again, filled the apartment with loneliness.
Doyoung unconsciously opened the bedroom door. Opposite to the packed living room that was full of luggage he furiously sorted out the day before, there was only a piece of paper on the table. He walked towards the couch, shakily picked up the letter Jaehyun left there.
"I'm sorry.
I know I have no rights to say these words, but again, I'm sorry.
Thank you for everything. I won't tell you that I love you since I know you won't believe it, and I myself know I have no right to say so.
Goodbye,
Jaehyun."
The play is over now. Doyoung mumbled. It was over now. He collapsed onto the couch, the couch that just a few days ago Jaehyun was there, lying on his thigh and showed his dimples of satisfaction when Doyoung brushed his hair with his fingers.
Maybe he should take a week off. Even he was not a lead role in Jaehyun's life, he deserved his own healing time. Doyoung covered his face with his two palms, accidentally clicked the remote and turned on the TV. Rihanna's Take a bow then filled the apartment, leaving Doyoung's heart with scratches everywhere.
But it's over now.
Go on and take a bow
Goodbye, Jaehyun.
Goodbye, his love.
Bye all.