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“Camping?”
“Yes.”
“In tents?”
“Yes, Lucifer, that’s what makes it camping.” Chloe rolled her eyes and carried on packing her backpack.
“And you want me to come with you? Camping? This was the surprise you mentioned last night?”
“Yes, it’ll be fun.”
“No.” Lucifer couldn’t think of anything that sounded less like fun and he had spent most of his life living in a fiery pit of despair. Camping, the very idea!
“It’ll just be you, me and Trixie,” Chloe said brightly.
“In a tent?”
“You’re having a hard time getting your head around the camping bit aren’t you, Lucifer.”
“The devil does not camp.”
Chloe stopped what she was doing to stare at him, tilting her head to one side. “You’ll need different clothes and some hiking boots.”
“Hiking boots!” Lucifer was appalled, hiking boots implied there would be hiking involved in this horrendous trip. Hiking through dad knew what kind of mess covered the floor in the wilds. Hiking and then returning to a tent. A tent!
“What about toilet facilities and showers, detective?”
“Well, when Dan and I used to go, he dug a latrine behind the tent and we threw buckets of cold water over each other every morning.”
“WHAT!”
“I’m joking, Lucifer. There’s a bathroom block with showers on the site.” She finished stuffing things in the bag. “Come on, we have a couple of hours until we need to leave, I’ll take you shopping. It’ll be fun!”
“Well, for once, you and I appear to have a very different definition of fun, detective.”
--0--
“Are you going to help us with the tent or not, Lucifer?” Chloe stood with a mallet in her hand and a pile of canvas in front of her.
“Not.” Lucifer pulled a chair from the back of the car, unfolded it and sat down to watch the show.
“You really are an ass sometimes. Get over here and help.” Chloe threw the mallet on the floor and started to pull the canvas apart trying to remember how Dan used to put the damn thing up.
“At no time did you list construction as one of the activities on this trip, detective. Hiking, wild swimming, roasting raw meat over an open fire,” Lucifer started naming the things she had mentioned.
“LUCIFER!” Chloe shouted at him and gave him a look that told him, in no uncertain terms, that if he didn’t help with this, then any form of intimacy was off the table for the foreseeable future.
Reluctantly, Lucifer stood up and approached the mess on the floor. “What is it supposed to look like, detective?”
Chloe pointed to the adjoining pitch.
Lucifer threw his head back and roared with laughter before doubling over and holding his side. The identically clad family sitting in a semi-circle around a roaring fire, next to a huge, perfectly erected tent, looked up from their matching tableware and nodded politely in their direction. By the side of their tent stood a matching smaller one, presumably housing a shower if the solar panel and large water bag were to be believed. A gentle hum also spoke to a small generator, no doubt for working the many lights that festooned their immaculate encampment.
Lucifer took out his cell phone and started scrolling through his contacts.
“What are you doing?” Asked Chloe.
“I’m trying to find Bear Grylls number.”
Trixie stopped filming and put her phone away. She would have to wait until she got a better signal before uploading it to YouTube. She stood up and quietly started erecting the tent.
--0--
“Can you two go and get some more firewood?” Chloe nodded at Trixie and Lucifer.
“Of course.” Lucifer followed Trixie into the woods.
“What happened?” Chloe stopped slicing the onion on the board in front of her as Lucifer approached carrying a large number of logs and sticks. He was covered from head to foot in….something brown and what the hell was that smell?
He put the wood down beside the fire. “Don’t ask. I’m going to take a shower and bury these clothes.” With that, he grabbed a towel and stormed off towards the bathroom block.
Chloe turned to Trixie.
“Don’t ask me. I promised Lucifer I would never tell anyone anything about it.” She was really looking forward to getting that red Corvette for her sixteenth birthday.
--0--
Chloe handed Lucifer a plate of food.
“What was it?” Lucifer eyed the blackened lumps with suspicion and poked at them with his finger.
“Steak, mushrooms, fried onions and corn on the cob.” Answered Chloe.
“Okay. Exactly how long before you took these items off the fire did they actually resemble any of those things, detective?”
“Dan usually did the cooking,” Chloe replied, sheepishly.
“I can see why.” Lucifer ducked sideways just in time to avoid the fork Chloe threw at him.
“Trixie, dinner’s ready,” Chloe called towards the tent.
“Okay, mom.” Trixie sat down next to Lucifer and took the plate Chloe gave her. She spent the next five minutes pretending to eat, as she quietly slipped bits of food off her plate and tossed them on the fire.
After everyone had not eaten dinner, Chloe suggested a short walk to work up an appetite for the s’mores she intended to burn later. Apparently, it wasn’t optional and so Lucifer went too.
A short distance from camp, Chloe stopped and patted herself down. “Damn! I forgot the bear repellent.”
Lucifer looked at her and raised his eyebrows. “Bear repellent.” He pointed to himself and carried on walking.
“Yeah, right. I forgot.” Chloe reached out and took his hand.
--0--
“That has to be the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth and trust me, it’s up against some pretty stiff competition.” Lucifer spat the food into a paper towel and threw it on the fire. “What did you say it was?”
“A s’more.” Chloe finished off her second one and started to toast a third over the fire.
Behind Chloe’s back Trixie emerged from the tent and waved at Lucifer, she held up a large bag of popcorn and a bar of chocolate.
“I’m just going to, you know.” Lucifer stood up and nodded towards the bathroom block. He headed that way and then ducked into the tent to share Trixie’s snacks.
--0--
“This is where dad and I used to come to pick berries, they grow over there on the other side of the water.” Trixie pointed across the stream. “They won’t be ready yet but I like it here.”
“It’s a beautiful spot, Trixie. Thank you for sharing it with me.” Lucifer sat down on the grass next to her. “You do know I’m not trying to replace your dad, don’t you Trixie? Not that I ever could.”
“I know. I just miss him doing stuff like this with mom and me.” Trixie threw the stick she was holding into the stream and watched it slowly float away.
“Do you think you and mom will ever have kids?”
“What? No, never.” Replied Lucifer more than a little horrified at the very idea.
“Are you sure?” Trixie turned to look at him. “I wouldn’t mind, I guess.”
“I can assure you that will never happen. I can’t have children, even if I wanted them. Which I most certainly do not.”
“I’m sorry.” Trixie stood up and brushed off her legs.
“Don’t be. I’m not.” Lucifer stood too. “I have come to look upon you as family if you don’t mind me thinking of you in that way?”
“No. Of course not.” Trixie gave him a brief hug. “We’d better get back or mom will send out a search party.”
“Agreed.”
Later that night, after Trixie had gone to bed, Lucifer and Chloe sat by the fire. Chloe tipped her head back in her chair and looked up at the night sky. “I love it out here, away from the city lights you can see so many more stars.”
Lucifer looked up, it was a beautiful sight. He had been disappointed when humans discovered electricity and started blotting out the stars with light pollution. Out here, it was like being transported back to a simpler time.
“Oh, look!” Chloe pointed towards the east. “A shooting star. Make a wish.”
Lucifer looked at the small rock streaking through the atmosphere then at the detective. She had closed her eyes, her lips were moving slightly as she made her wish. She looked beautiful, relaxed and happy.
He realised that his wish had already come true.
They put out the fire and headed inside the tent. Trixie was already asleep and so they quietly slipped inside the double sleeping bag.
“One good thing about all this, detective is the distinct possibility I will wake up in the morning and still have some of the bedding.” Whispered Lucifer. His detective was many things but when it came to sharing a bed she could be a touch selfish. Once she got a death grip on the sheet you could forget about staying covered. Lucifer had lost count of the number of mornings he had woken up forced onto a tiny strip of mattress exposed to the world.
“Very funny.” She gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “Goodnight, Lucifer.”
During the night, Lucifer felt movement beside him and in the faint pre-dawn light saw Trixie crawling around the tent towards the flap. “Where are you going?” He asked her quietly.
“Bathroom.”
“Lucifer slipped out of the sleeping bag and grabbed his boots. He followed Trixie outside.
“I can go on my own.” Insisted Trixie.
“Is this something your mother would let you do?” Lucifer hopped on one leg as he pulled his boots on. “It’s still dark.”
“Yes, sometimes.” Trixie didn’t sound very convincing and so Lucifer followed her to the facilities block and stood guard outside.
“I’m not a baby.” Trixie protested as they walked back to the tent.
“No but you are a child and as such you should be protected. There are bears and… other things out here that could harm you.”
“Other things?” Trixie looked at Lucifer “What kind of other things?” She sensed a tiny victory coming as Lucifer wasn’t exactly an outdoors type. “Like tigers?”
“Possibly, or dragons or trolls or demons.” Lucifer wasn’t quite as ignorant of the fauna of North-West America as Trixie thought he was. He held the flap open for her and they both went in and got back into their sleeping bags.
Chloe turned to face him, she put her finger on his lips to silence any conversation and then pulled his face towards hers. She ran her lips from his chin up to his mouth before plunging inside, she poured all the love and passion she felt towards him into the kiss. “Later,” she whispered in his ear before turning away from him and pulling his arm over her body to rest between her breasts.
--0—
“Breakfast?” Lucifer asked Chloe as she emerged from the tent.
Trixie was already tucking into her food, her mouth was full but she gave her mother a thumbs up.
“Yes, please.” Chloe sat down in the free chair and gratefully accepted the plate Lucifer handed her. Eggs, bacon, mushrooms, hash browns – all cooked to perfection. She was impressed.
“I thought it best if I took over the cooking duties, detective, after your abysmal offerings yesterday.”
Chloe opened her mouth to protest but decided against it. She hated outdoor cooking and if putting up with a bit of verbal abuse from Lucifer meant she never had to do it again so be it.
“So, who wants to go for a nice hike through the woods?” Chloe asked excitedly after they had all finished eating.
Trixie had always been a clever child and she was way ahead of her mother. “Oh. I’d love to but I told David I’d help him put up his pup tent.”
“David?” Asked Chloe.
“From next door.” Trixie pointed towards the ridiculously well-organised camp next to theirs.
“Oh, okay, if you’ve made a friend but don’t leave the site.” Chloe waved across at David’s parents. “It looks like it’s just you and me then Lucifer.”
Lucifer smiled at Chloe, “Lovely.” As they walked off towards the woods he turned to look at Trixie, who simply shrugged and ran off to help her new and very convenient friend. She didn’t know it yet but she had just lost the alloy wheels for her Corvette.
“Come and look at this,” Chloe called out as Lucifer emerged from behind a tree.
“I can’t believe I just had to relieve myself in the woods, there were flying things all over the place, and some of them bit me.” Grumbled Lucifer.
“Stop complaining and don’t forget, you’re a flying thing too, maybe they were just saying hello.”
“Thing? Flying thing? Well, that’s just wonderful, detective at least I know what you think of me. I’m going back to camp, good luck with those bears.” Lucifer called over to her but he made no attempt to move.
“That’s a shame because if you go back now you’ll never see this.” She pointed towards the side of the path.
“Okay, what is it?” Lucifer walked towards her.
As he got close to her she grabbed him by the shirt and threw him down into the long grass.
“Ah, I see. Well, now that is interesting, detective, but might I suggest we move a little way from the trail.”
“Agreed.”
They found a secluded spot deep amongst the trees and got comfortable on the ground. It was slightly damp but they decided to risk it. Lucifer reached out and helped Chloe remove some of her clothes and she returned the favour. Afterwards, they lay in each other’s arms basking in the afterglow.
“We should be heading back, it’s almost lunchtime.” Chloe sat up and started to gather her clothes, handing Lucifer his things too.
They dressed, then stood up and Lucifer looked to her for guidance. “Which way?”
“What?”
“Which way leads back to the campsite, detective.”
“Ummm….” Chloe spun around trying to get her bearings. “I’m not sure, I think it’s this way.” She pointed off to the left and they started walking. Ten minutes later it became apparent they were lost. “Can you fly up and see where we are?”
Lucifer looked up at the dense tree canopy above them. “No, not in these woods. I can’t fly in this.” Sunlight barely made it through, there was no way he could reach the sky.
“Can you at least tell which way is north or south?”
“How?” Asked Lucifer.
“Don’t you have a built-in compass or something?”
“You mean like a homing pigeon, detective?”
“Yes,” Chloe replied, hopefully.
“No. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Do you have any signal on your phone?” Chloe took hers out and checked but she had nothing.
“No. I left my phone back in the tent.”
Several hours later Lucifer took Chloe’s hand and made her stop walking. “It’ll be dark soon it makes no sense to go stumbling around, detective. Let’s find a place to spend the night.”
Chloe turned to face him. “What about Trixie? She’ll be all on her own. How could I have been so stupid and selfish?”
“Trixie will be fine, detective. She’s a smart girl, no doubt she’ll stay with that family in the next tent. Don’t worry about her at all, she is more than capable of looking after herself.”
“I know, I know. I just can’t believe how easy it was for us to get so lost so quickly.” Chloe took Lucifer’s hand. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”
“I think I deserve some of the blame for being so bloody irresistible, detective,” joked Lucifer. “Come on.” He led Chloe to the trunk of a large moss-covered tree and sat down, resting his back against it. Chloe sat at his side.
As the night drew in, it started to get a lot colder, Chloe shivered and tucked herself closer to Lucifer for warmth. He started to take off his jacket but she reached out and stopped him. “I’m fine, Lucifer you’re going to need that later.”
“Okay. There is something I can do. Come and sit on my lap.” He patted his legs and she moved to get in position. Lucifer slowly and carefully extended his wings, keeping them folded as much as possible until they circled her body, then he relaxed them a little.
“Lucifer, are you sure this is okay for you, I don’t want you to hurt your wings?” Chloe knew he couldn’t lie on his back with his wings out, so sitting against the tree might be painful too.
“It’s okay like this, I’m not putting any real weight on them,” Lucifer assured her.
Chloe cuddled into him, the blanket of feathers was surprisingly warm and they managed to spend a relatively peaceful night.
“Good morning, detective.” Lucifer kissed the top of her head as he felt her stirring in his lap.
“Morning.” Chloe stretched her arms out, momentarily surprised to touch feathers instead of a sheet. She stroked her hand down the length of one wing.
Lucifer shuddered beneath her. “Careful, detective. That’s how we got in this mess in the first place.” He laughed.
They got up and Lucifer carefully tucked his wings away. His back ached and his shoulder muscles were screaming at him to never do that again but it was worth it to have kept her warm.
“I think we are going to have to risk climbing up to see if we can spot the campsite.” Chloe pointed towards the top of the tree they had been sleeping against. “How are you at climbing trees?”
“No idea, never done it.” Replied Lucifer.
“What, no trees in heaven when you were small?” Teased Chloe.
“I was never small, detective.”
“Okay, then I guess I’m the one going up.” Chloe studied the trunk, working out her route. “Just make sure to catch me if I fall.”
“I will.” Lucifer stood at the base of the tree keeping his eyes on her as she climbed higher and higher.
“I see it!” She exclaimed and pointed off to the right. “We aren’t all that far away.” She quickly climbed back down.
They set off in the right direction and within ten minutes they found the trail leading back to the campsite.
“So I got David’s parents, the Richards, to phone the rangers and they sent people out into the woods looking for you. I phoned dad too, he thought it was hilarious! The Richard’s let me stay with them, they have blow-up beds, we had an amazing dinner and did you know they have a microwave and a popcorn maker. Can we get those for next time, can we?” Trixie bounced up and down and then remembered to hug her mother. “You smell bad.” She pulled away and tried hugging Lucifer instead. “You smell even worse. Like wet dogs.”
“Charming.” Keep this up child and that Corvette will be minus an engine, thought Lucifer.
“So, how about Disneyland for our next trip?” Asked Chloe as they finished putting the last bag into the car.
“I think I’d rather run my private parts through a bacon slicer, detective.” Lucifer climbed into the car and slammed the door.