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He’d been acting strangely. Always coming in to work late and always tired. The death of his wife had of course shaken the poor detective up really bad. Each member of his team had gone to his house to help with the baby and console him because he was now a single father and it had happened in the worst way imaginable. But it had been almost a year since the car crash and Ryan had seemed to be getting back to normal until very recently.
This, of course, set off all the warning bells in his best friend’s head. After watching Ryan spiral downward to the point where he didn’t even get out of bed for a month, Esposito had been extra sensitive to any change in his partner’s behavior, and this was a big change.
The smell of alcohol when Ryan entered the crime scene was the first red flag. No drinking when you’re on call was rule number one, and Ryan always followed the rules to the letter. The only thing in his favor was that he wasn’t acting drunk, but that could also mean he’d just started and never got past one drink.
Esposito watched him walk around the crime scene, trying to detect any odd behavior. But he was just Ryan. The only strange thing was that he kept checking his watch. But what could Ryan be late for?
~ . ~ . ~
“Seamus, you’re late.”
“Sorry.” Ryan said as he walked past his boss. Gil was a nice enough guy, but he had a business to run and he couldn’t afford late dancers.
“Just get ready, you’re on next.”
Ryan nodded and went to the back room to change his clothes.
This hadn’t been his first choice, but when he found out how much money dancers could make, he knew there was no alternative. Babies were expensive, and what he was making now was not going to cover the amount of diapers and juice he needed. Sarah Grace drank a /lot/ of juice. And, as it just so happened, Ryan had a great body for this career.
When he first walked into the club three weeks ago, he’d been greeted by incredibly friendly men and one look around at all of them put the thought into his head that he could definitely do what they do. He watched them grip the poles and seemingly effortlessly swing around like they were flying. He knew he could do it too. So he sought out the owner who happened to be bartending that night to cover for the usual bartender who had the flu. The man took one look at Ryan’s eyes, gave him the once-over, smiled, and asked if he needed a job. When he found out Ryan was Irish and could do a decent accent, Gil got very excited and dubbed him “Lucky”. Ryan wasn’t sure how he felt about the name, but then hearing what some of these guys were calling themselves, he definitely considered himself Lucky.
So here Ryan was, dressing himself in a snappy green suit, to go with his Irish theme, and telling everyone his name was Lucky, while telling his coworkers and Gil that his name was Seamus. He was even up to do the accent if anyone asked, which they asked often.
When the last dancer was finished, he gathered the fallen bills and clothing and hopped off the stage to make way for Ryan who was waiting for his cue.
“It’s the luck of the Irish! Everyone put your hands together for our next performer, Lucky!”
Ryan sprinted to the stage just as the music started and watched the lights around him turn green. There were already many women and men alike moving toward the stage with their bills, awaiting Ryan’s dance.
There was one thing Gil knew about people, and that was what was attractive to them. A man in a suit was, for some reason, incredibly sexy to so many people and Ryan found he didn’t mind how silly it felt wearing a green suit when drunk people were giving him their money.
As the music blared around them, Ryan slowly slipped off the suit coat to reveal the waistcoat underneath, which got a lot of cheers that Ryan wasn’t sure was due to alcohol or the fact that a waistcoat was also sexy. He found he didn’t care much. He moved to the buttons, undoing them tantalizingly slow as he moved his hips to the music and winked at a few women with dollar bills in their hands. The women screamed and held the bills up and Ryan crouched down to allow them to tuck the bills into his pants. He stood back up and let the waistcoat drop from his shoulders before untucking his shirt and ripping it open. The waistcoat had buttons, the shirt had snaps and it was purely for the effect of being able to rip it open, which of course got a few bills thrown at his feet. He kept the shirt on his shoulders and moved to his pants, unbuckling the shamrock belt buckle and unzipping them, which of course elicited more screams and dollar bills. He gave a half smile and bit his lip as he slowly pulled the pants down to reveal the tight briefs he was wearing. They were a shiny green and they said /Lucky/ across the ass. Gil had been very excited to hand them to Ryan and Ryan had rolled his eyes and laughed because they were so incredibly perfect, he couldn’t even feel weird about it.
When Ryan had finally ripped his pants off, he was standing in front of his audience in briefs and an open shirt, and that meant it was time to show his skills as a pole dancer. He collected a few bills from women who very much wanted to shove money down his underwear and see if they could touch anything, and then moved to the pole.
Years of gymnastics as a child and years of working out for his day job had pretty much prepared him for this. He gripped the pole and swung himself up, stretching his legs out to let everyone admire the muscles in them. He got a lot of cheers for just that, and he hadn’t even done anything complicated yet.
He let himself slide down the pole and grip the thing, moving his hips to the music and getting cheers and whistles from the incredibly horny crowd. He lifted his eyes to one man standing in the crowd and kept eye contact as he took his shirt off. He knew he had great arms, and so did this guy because that one gesture earned Ryan a twenty in his underwear. He winked at the guy and went back to his pole, gearing himself for the more difficult moves that required more thought and skill, but always earned him a stack of bills.
The moves definitely impressed the crowd and they cheered as he swung around, sometimes only using one leg, sometimes hanging upside down, sometimes holding himself straight out and keeping his body still as the people cheered him on.
As the song came to a close, Ryan gracefully lowered himself from the pole. He gave one last smile and crouched low so more people could tuck bills into those lucky briefs. He then gave a salute and gathered his things from the stage before hopping off and heading to the back room.
After this, it was lap dances, which he was sure many people were going to request, and a few more pole dances before he could finally go home and get some sleep.
It was a grueling process having two jobs, but he reminded himself he was doing this for his baby and it somehow made everything a little more bearable.
~ . ~ . ~
Esposito had followed him. What exactly he was expecting, he didn’t know, but he knew it wasn’t watching his partner dance in his skivvies.
He’d chosen a seat in the very back in a dark corner so Ryan wouldn’t be able to see him, and watched. Ryan was good at this, maybe even too good. For a guy who grew up going to Catholic school and came to work looking like he was going to church, Ryan was really good at stripping.
Esposito hardly recognized the man dancing on the stage. This man wasn’t Ryan. This was… this was Lucky. The stripper who smiled sensually at people and easily took their money. The stripper who had such skill with a pole, even his best friend who’d seen almost every side of him was impressed. He was the stripper who was leading a double life.
Oh, Esposito was definitely going to confront Ryan about this, but it was going to have to wait because Espo liked what he was seeing. Esposito really liked what he was seeing.
As turned on as he was, Espo still could appreciate the skill needed to do this and he shamelessly admired Ryan’s muscles, telling himself he was just impressed with Ryan’s skill. He was definitely not watching the drop of sweat slide down his partner’s neck and how dare anyone make that kind of assumption.
“You like what you see?” Someone to his left said.
Esposito turned his attention to the man standing next to him. The guy was fully clothed and not wearing black which meant he was neither a stripper nor a bouncer. Esposito wasn’t a detective for nothing and concluded that this guy most definitely owned the place.
“Your boy has some talent.” Esposito said, turning his attention back to his partner as Ryan rode the pole.
“One of our best.” The guy said. “We make more money on his nights than anyone else’s. Everyone likes an Irishman.”
Esposito nodded. “So he must be making some pretty good money.”
“Oh yeah, Lucky’s one of the richest. He’s added a lot of popularity to this place and we’ve had quite a few people come back over the last three weeks.”
“Three weeks?” Esposito asked.
“Yeah, Lucky’s fairly new, but he dances like a pro.” He shrugged. “If you want, I can tell him to take special care of you. Lucky’s always up for making people happy.”
“Nah, that’s okay.” Esposito declined, watching Ryan dance to the last notes of the song. “I’m sure he’s got a lot of customers to take care of after that display.”
The guy chuckled. “That he does. Well, let us know if you need anything. Our main goal is to please.” He walked away.
Esposito watched Ryan gather his clothes and money and hop off the stage.
He definitely needed to talk to Ryan about this.
~ . ~ . ~
Esposito watched Ryan make his way to the breakroom. Not wanting to be in the same room as the sexually frustrated Beckett and Castle and knowing that he was going to need to confront Ryan about this sooner rather than later, Esposito followed.
“Coffee?” Ryan asked, as Espo entered.
“Yeah.” Esposito said softly as he leaned against the doorway and watched his partner work the espresso machine.
It was weird, knowing what Ryan looked like in green briefs. Esposito had seen Ryan in many different situations and they’d been through a lot of awkward times, they’d even seen each other naked. But this was different. This was Esposito seeing his partner in a sexual light. And if Beckett and Castle thought /they/ were sexually frustrated, it was nothing compared to how Esposito felt watching Ryan make him a damn coffee.
“Here.” Ryan said, handing Esposito his coffee, already sweetened the way Espo liked it. Esposito thanked him as he took the cup and his eyes swept across a shiny spot on his partner’s neck. Upon further inspection, Esposito concluded it was glitter.
He took a breath. “Hey, Ryan…” He said, staring down into his cup.
Ryan took a gulp of coffee. “Yeah?” He asked.
Esposito had no idea what he was going to say, but he knew he was going to feign ignorance in order to let Ryan just tell him. Because, really, Ryan should have told him. “You, uh… got something on your neck.”
A flash of worry passed over Ryan’s face and he quickly put a hand to his neck to rub it off. “Oh. Yeah.” He said, checking his fingers to make sure it was gone. Glitter was almost impossible to get rid of and he soon gave up on his task, opting to drinking more coffee instead.
Esposito let the awkward air get a little more thick n hopes that Ryan would break the silence. When he never did, Espo spoke again. “So, where’d it come from?”
“What?”
“The glitter.”
“Oh,” Ryan looked down into his coffee, very obviously avoiding Esposito’s gaze. “I...I don’t know. Could’ve come from anywhere, you know? It’s glitter, who the hell knows where it comes from?”
It made sense, right? If Esposito was asking his friend about glitter on his neck without knowing about his friend’s secret life, he would of course bring up a strip club.
“I once woke up covered in glitter after a long night at a strip club in Vegas.”
Ryan choked on his coffee and looked at his partner, detecting the secret in his eyes. After a moment of hesitation, he broke. “Okay, fine. I have a second job, alright?” He said.
“Oh?” Esposito asked. “Doing what?”
“I’m a security guard.” Ryan said immediately, almost as if he’d planned this conversation in his head.
Of course Esposito knew he was lying, but he decided to play along with whatever game this was.
“A security guard?”
“Yes.”
“Of what? The glitter isle at your local craft store?”
“I’m a bouncer at a club.”
Esposito raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. “Oh? Where?”
Ryan hesitated. “Manhattan.” He said.
“Manhattan.” Esposito replied. “You got a job protecting male strippers?”
Ryan opened his mouth to respond but never got the chance as Castle poked his head into the break room.
“Beckett’s got a lead, she asked me to come get you guys.” Castle said, looking incredibly annoyed about something.
“Oh, that’s /lucky/.” Esposito ever so slightly added emphasis on the last word before walking out with his coffee.
Ryan watched the both of them leave with his eyes wide and a painful clench in his stomach.
Because Esposito knew. Esposito /definitely/ knew.
~ . ~ . ~
The case was closed, the perp was behind bars, and Ryan had a mountain of paperwork to finish before putting on his green suit later. It was shaping up to be a very long night.
He fixed himself and his partner a cup of coffee and walked back to their desks, dropping Espo’s coffee off at his desk before stepping over to his own. When he approached his desk he was met with a little black box with a note on top.
“What’s this?” Ryan asked, smiling as he picked up the note.
Esposito said nothing as he walked over to Ryan’s desk, also smiling.
Ryan read the note out loud. “‘Time you had a proper uniform. Love, Javi.’” He gave Esposito a confused look before opening the box. What he saw inside the box made him stop.
“It’s from the heart, bro.” Esposito said.
Ryan slowly picked up the little blue thong, starting at the “security” embroidered in gold on the back, complete with a little gold star.
It had all been in good fun and was mostly intended to let Ryan know he knew without outright telling him.
“Too big?” Esposito asked.
Ryan huffed out a laugh before giving his partner a sideways glance. He lifted the thong and held it out almost hitting Esposito’s face with it. “You wanna help me put them on?”
Esposito made a disgusted face and spun around in order to get away.
“Come on, I could really use your help!” Ryan said, running after him.
Esposito almost made it to the break room before Ryan caught up to him and put a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn.
Ryan held his partner’s gaze for a little while before speaking. “How did you know?” He asked.
Esposito looked down at the thong in Ryan’s hand and then back up into his eyes. “I saw you.” He said.
Ryan wasn’t exactly expecting that. “You saw? You… went to the strip club?”
Esposito nodded.
“And, uh…” Ryan cleared his throat. “What do you think of it?”
Esposito raised an eyebrow. “It’s a nice place.” He said. “They’ve got really nice looking guys there.”
Ryan looked away. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Ashamed? Embarrassed? Judged?
“There’s, uh… there’s this guy there.” Esposito said, breaking the awkward silence. “Really talented guy. Blue eyes. Killer sideburns. Looks really great in green. I believe they called him Lucky.”
Ryan continued to look anywhere but at his partner.
“He reminds me of someone.”
Ryan looked up.
It happened in a flash before either of them realized, but they were suddenly kissing. Ryan was still gripping the thong, but Esposito had put a hand on his jaw to pull him closer.
The kiss was short and sweet and the two of them kept their eyes closed to savor the moment before slowly opening them.
Esposito stared at his sky blue eyes and let himself get lost in them for a few seconds. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, his voice almost a whisper.
Ryan gave a small shrug. “I guess I just didn’t know how.” He said. “I didn’t want you to worry and I’ll admit I was a little embarrassed about it.”
“Man, why are you stripping anyway?”
Ryan took a deep breath. “Extra money.” He said. “Diapers aren’t free.”
“Kevin, why didn’t you tell me?” Esposito asked, taking a step back so he could better scold him. “If you need money-”
“I don’t need money.” Ryan rolled his eyes.
“You should have let me know. I’m your partner, I can help you with these things.”
“Javi, I’m not some kind of bum father who can’t take care of his kid.” Ryan said angrily. “I chose to have this baby and, dammit, I’m going to take care of her.”
“Kev, you chose to have a kid with someone and that person isn’t here. You need to accept help. No one expects you to do this alone.”
Ryan took a step back and gritted his teeth, holding back the tears that threatened to make themselves known. “Thanks for the gift.” He said softly before turning around and heading back to his desk.
~ . ~ . ~
Ryan collected his clothes as he hopped off the stage for the last time that night. It had been a really good night, cash-wise. He sometimes felt bad about his life choices, but in all honesty, the money was very worth it, especially since rent was due soon and he still needed to go grocery shopping.
He packed his suit in his duffel bag and then pulled on a pair of jeans and a t shirt. He opted out of changing the underwear because he just wanted to get out of there and the green silk was comfortable anyway.
Throwing the duffel bag over his shoulder, he said goodbye to Gil and a few coworkers and headed out into the parking lot.
Before he could make it to the car, however, a loud voice stopped him.
“So, what if I move in?”
Ryan stopped and turned around. “What?” He asked his partner, standing there in a leather jacket with a stony expression.
“I mean, you have that house that can’t be cheap for a single dad with two jobs and if you have someone sharing the rent, you won’t have to worry so much.”
Ryan sighed and let his bag fall to the ground. “You wanna move in?” He asked, disbelieving. “You seriously wanna pack all your shit and move in to my house?”
“You got an extra room.” Esposito reasoned. “And I’m sure the rent would be cheaper on me too.”
“What about my couch?”
“I’ll get over the couch.”
Ryan ran a hand through his hair, a few flecks of glitter falling on his shoulder. “Why?”
“Like I said, you need cheaper rent, I need cheaper rent.” He took a step forward. “Not to mention… what happened yesterday… well, I’d like for it to happen again. And it would be easier if we were in the same place. Definitely easier on the precinct so no one gets scarred.”
Ryan gave a small laugh. “You seriously wanna do this? You wanna put your name on the lease and pay half the rent?”
“Yes. I seriously want to.”
Ryan hesitated.
“Come on, man. It was gonna happen eventually. We’d stay over at each other’s places, eventually you’d give me a drawer and then I’d give you a drawer, and then finally we’d just move in together. This way we avoid all the awkward conversations.”
Ryan stared over at a rather nice piece of graffiti on the wall next to them. “And how do you know we’d end up living together?”
“Seriously? What show have you been watching? We’re practically married. I even wore your ring once.” Esposito smiled slightly.
“That’s right, you did.” Ryan murmured. He shrugged. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Esposito asked, waiting to get excited.
“Yeah, okay. Why not?”
Esposito closed the gap between them and took Ryan’s face in his hands, kissing him deeply and passionately.
When they pulled away and rested their foreheads against each other, Ryan whispered, “But you don’t have to take the guest room. I’ve got a king size mattress.”
Esposito laughed and kissed him again. “Hey, Kevin?” He murmured against his lips.
“Yeah?” Ryan asked breathlessly.
“Are you gonna keep stripping?”
“I haven’t decided.”
“And, Kevin?”
“Yes?”
“You gonna wear that little blue thong I got you?”
Ryan’s face scrunched up into his signature crinkly smile. “You want me to?”
“Oh, hell yeah.”
The End