Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was halfway between Thessaloniki and Athens that they met her. 

“Excuse me,” Gabrielle was the one to say as she and Xena had approached. “Are you lost? My friend and I know this area, maybe we can help.”

While Xena didn’t say anything about the partial lie, Gabrielle could feel her eyebrows raise even with her back turned. The woman Gabrielle had addressed seemed too preoccupied to catch it in any case. 

Gabrielle’s first thought was that the woman reminded her of Xena. It was an easy association to make, she told herself, between her leathers and armor - however colorful they might be - and her height, not to mention the intense attention she was giving to the world around her at the expense of ignoring Xena and Gabrielle. Gabrielle waited patiently until that focus finally came to rest on her. 

“Lost?” the woman repeated, her voice husky. “No, I - I shouldn’t be. I don’t understand.” 

That sounded lost to Gabrielle, who laid a hesitant hand on the woman’s forearm and smiled soothingly when that at least got her to look at her again. “Where are you trying to be?” she asked. “We can tell you if you’re in the right place, if nothing else.”

“An island - Themyscira,” she said. “I’m not sure if you will have heard of it.”

“The coast is a good twenty miles away, and you have to cross a mountain or two to get to it,” Xena finally spoke up. “I’ve never heard of Themyscira, though. Is it in the Aegean?” 

“Sometimes,” the woman answered after a brief hesitation.

The answer made Xena’s eyebrows raise. “Sometimes?” she repeated. 

“It’s hard to explain,” was all the acknowledgement offered, accompanied by a wry smile.

“You wanna try?” 

After another hesitation and a visible sizing-up of Xena, the woman relented. “Have you heard of the Amazons?” 

Gabrielle laughed. Even Xena cracked a smile. The other woman seemed nonplussed by their reactions until Xena said, “Yeah, we know the Amazons. Let me guess - you are one?” 

“Yes,” she said, looking between them. “You don’t seem to be surprised.”

“What should I have been surprised about?” Xena asked. “That the Amazons exist, or that you are one? Because I’ve met a lot of Amazons, and it was an easy guess after you mentioned them.” 

“I’m also an Amazon,” Gabrielle broke in, not a little bit of pride underscoring her words because of the newness of the claim. 

“You are? Then you’ve been to Themyscira. You must have.” 

Xena seemed just as bemused as Gabrielle was, but Gabrielle could also sense that her patience was waning. “No,” Gabrielle said. “I’ve never heard of Themyscira either, but my tribe is about a week’s journey away. Maybe we could ask them?”

“Your tribe?” 

“Yes,” Gabrielle said, and studied her more closely. “Is your tribe from Themyscira? I don’t know where all the tribes are, even in Greece,” she added apologetically. “I’m kind of… new… to all this.” 

But the woman was staring at her in something like wonder. “You mean to say that there are so many of the Amazons? I’d always thought… I mean, I had always been told...” Her voice drifted off, and a look of consternation crossed her face. “How many tribes are there?” she asked Gabrielle.

Helpless in the face of even such a basic question, Gabrielle turned once again to Xena. Xena’s eyes were waiting for her, nearly affectionate against her droll expression, and Gabrielle shrugged defensively. She was very new to all this, after all; it wasn’t like Amazons were much talked of in Poteidaia. It wasn’t like much of anything was talked of in Poteidaia that didn’t have to do with farming or trade. 

“You’re not from around here, are you?” Xena asked the woman instead. 

Unexpectedly, the dry question relaxed her enough that she for the first time, rich and throaty. “I guess you could say so,” she agreed. “I know it may be a lot to ask, but could you give me directions to the nearest tribe? They may be able to help me.” 

“We’ll do you one better,” Xena said before Gabrielle even had to turn pleading eyes on her. “We’ll take you to Gabrielle’s tribe. But I think you owe us a story along the way in return.” 

The woman smiled. “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Her name was Diana. She made good on her promise to tell her story, keeping them entertained for the rest of the day until they set up camp just before sunset. 

Her tales of her home were fantastic. Perhaps it was just that Gabrielle had only ever seen her own tribe’s village, but the sheer scope of what Diana described – armories and training grounds, but also libraries and workshops and tanneries – was astounding to her.

“You must have so much knowledge stored in Themyscira,” Gabrielle couldn’t help saying, mind whirling with everything those libraries must contain, the idea of a particularly Amazon kind of literature. Perhaps when they got back to her tribe, she could ask Ephiny –

She cut off the train of thought, blushing when Diana looked back at her. Diana had mostly been addressing herself to Xena as they walked with Gabrielle tagging behind, content to listen; but for the first time, she felt herself the subject of Diana’s intense focus. That was another way she was like Xena: the way that when Gabrielle was the object of said focus, she felt as if the rest of the world must have melted away behind her.

“Yes, we do,” she agreed. “I’m sure it’s no different for your tribe.”

Of course, Gabrielle also couldn’t help staring at her along the way, just a little bit, but she figured it was okay. It wasn’t like Diana didn’t intend to stand out in her colorful leathers and her foreign weapons - she must have been going for a unique, stand-apart-from-the-crowd kind of look. 

Xena was less enamored. “Thieves are common on this stretch of road - got anything less obvious you can wear?” she’d asked Diana pointedly when they’d first started along together.

But Diana only smiled serenely. “I have always found that this serves me well,” was all she would say, leaving Xena to harrumph her way along. 

In fact, Gabrielle noticed that Xena appeared to be less and less sure about Diana as the day wore on. She waited until Diana, an excellent hunter, had returned with two rabbits and set about cooking them to approach Xena where she was moodily taking the whetstone to her already keenly sharpened sword. 

“You don’t like her,” she observed. 

“I don’t trust her,” Xena corrected. 

“Why not?” 

“She’s leaving something out of her story, for one,” Xena said. “Can’t you sense the things she’s talking around?” 

Gabrielle had, in fact, if only vaguely, but Diana’s ease, graciousness, and open friendliness had assuaged any niggling doubts she had as to any ill intentions she had toward them.

“She’s not required to recount her life story to you,” Gabrielle said. “I know very little about your story, Warrior Princess, and I still trust you with my life.” 

Xena’s expression was indecipherable, but Gabrielle was immediately glad that she held back whatever rebuttal was obviously on her tongue. 

“I also don’t like her explanation of how she got to be lost at all,” Xena continued. “She hitched a ride with some merchant who dropped her in the middle of nowhere? Does that sound like something an Amazon would do to you?” 

That had also given Gabrielle pause, to be honest. “Okay, sure, but she probably doesn’t want to implicate somebody in whatever’s really going on.” 

“To two perfect strangers?” Xena asked. “It’s more likely she was dropped out of the sky by the gods.”

“Well, why not?” Gabrielle replied. “You know the gods. Why wouldn’t she?” 

Gabrielle waited for the inevitable it’s different for me - which, in most cases, Gabrielle would agree that it was. But Xena was still too tightly reined in, still too much in control of herself, to allow herself to be baited; and after pressing her lips tightly together, she said, “I guess she might.” 

Things didn’t go much more smoothly after that. Gabrielle had the distinct sense that Diana had realized that Xena was wary of her, but her demeanor was never anything less than polite and genial. Xena, under Gabrielle’s watchful eyes, never pressed Diana, though it didn’t stop her from being gruffer than usual. 

“She’s just cautious,” Gabrielle tried to apologize for Xena when she’d rode off to scout ahead, leaving Gabrielle and Diana to walk at their own pace in her wake. 

Diana laughed. “No apologies are necessary. I understand. I, too, would be cautious in her position.”

It piqued Gabrielle’s interest, but not her anxiety. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Mostly that your friend is intelligent and experienced, used to relying on herself to stay alive,” Diana answered. “As I understand it, as of very recently she now has you to think about, too. It doesn’t surprise me that she’s more cautious around strangers with strange stories than she may have been before, when she might have been comfortable risking herself and her own instincts.”

The observation did slightly soften Gabrielle’s disposition toward Xena’s recent uncharitable moodiness, although it honestly did more to irk her for different reasons. “That’s not her decision to make,” she told Diana.

“I’m not saying it is,” Diana agreed, her continued affability also starting to irk Gabrielle. “But there are worse things than to have a friend that cares for you so much, I think.”

Gabrielle was unwilling to indulge the sentiment, just for now. “Since you’ve admitted your story is strange, do you want to fill in some of the gaps?” she invited Diana instead.

Diana laughed, only to immediately follow with a sigh. “My friend, I think even you would find the truth too strange to believe. I don’t understand what’s going on here, myself. I just know that the whole world is different – and that I want to go home, if only to see if it’s still there.”

“Hey, I’m sure it is,” Gabrielle said, softening. “And I hope you’ll let me visit you sometime when you find your way there. Themyscira sounds amazing.”

Diana laid a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll insist on it, when we do. I have to say, I’m looking forward to what your sisters can tell me about your history. I never imagined that there would be so many of us. That we would live among men.”

“Hopefully it’s a good kind of different,” Gabrielle said, laying a hand over Diana’s where it was still on her shoulder. She was rewarded with smile, tremulous but honest, before they startled at the sound of approaching hooves.

Xena’s face was the precise opposite of Diana’s, closed and void of expression. Gabrielle winced, because this said more and demonstrated a greater depth of emotion - to Gabrielle, at least - than Xena was likely aware she was communicating.

“Oh, boy,” she said under her breath.

“Am I interrupting anything?” Xena snarked from atop Argo.

“Just talking about home,” Diana replied, and smiled in an unsuccessful attempt to break the tension.

Xena’s eyes lingered on her, honing in on the hand Diana hadn’t removed from Gabrielle’s shoulder in a way that made Gabrielle uncomfortable for reasons she couldn't define.

“There’s a nice clearing next to a stream up ahead,” was all Xena said. “We can make it there for lunch and take the chance to wash and bathe.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’m feeling a little ripe,” Gabrielle tried to joke – a mistake, it seemed. Xena’s impassive eyes swept right through her, and she shivered in response.

“She worries for you,” Diana said again when Xena had cantered off the way she’d come.

Gabrielle scoffed, knowing perfectly well what was driving Xena – and it wasn’t worry. “If that were the case,” she said, “she wouldn’t have left you and me alone on the road.”

What else was there to say to that? Diana smiled knowingly, encouragingly, and they walked in the settling dust.

“Xena,” Gabrielle demanded later that night. “What was all that about?”

Xena looked up from where she was calmly eating her dinner. “What was what all about?” she asked, as if she really had no idea what Gabrielle was talking about.

Well, Gabrielle wasn’t falling for it. “You’re always moody, but since Diana joined us you’ve been extra moody, and you were really upset earlier this afternoon when you rode away. Diana said she thinks it’s because you’re feeling protective.”

Xena shrugged and took another bite. Gabrielle pressed on.

“Diana also said that she thinks you’re being overly cautious now that you’ve got me to worry about.”

“Sounds like Diana has some opinions,” Xena observed. Her face had gone still and blank again, and Gabrielle sighed inwardly, moved despite herself.

“Look,” she said, “I’ve talked to her today, and I really don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Diana said – "

But Gabrielle startled when Xena abruptly stood up and towered over her. “When are you going to learn that you can’t trust everyone you meet?” she demanded, sounding very much like her frustration had been welling up for months.

“That’s rich,” Gabrielle said, scoffing. “When are you going to learn that if you don’t trust people sometimes, all you do is end up alone?”

Xena stepped close, eyes smoldering. Determinedly, Gabrielle held her ground.

“If that’s the price I pay for staying alive – for keeping you alive – then I’ll pay it,” Xena said. “Just think about what I’ve said. And stop letting her play you.”

Xena pushed past her more roughly than Gabrielle was used to from her, and Gabrielle struggled not to raise her voice when she spun around after her. “Play me?” she asked indignantly.

“Just consider the odds that she’d be an Amazon princess, too – after you’d said that you were, and after she’d sussed out your interest in her culture,” Xena replied evenly. Gabrielle opened her mouth to argue back hotly, but Xena cut her off. “Just – think about it.”

It was more of a plea than a command, and so Gabrielle, knowing what that concession cost her, swallowed her hurt and gave a tight nod. Xena breathed deeply, her shoulders loosening minutely, and stalked away.

Because she had promised Xena, Gabrielle tried to take a more objective stance as she spoke with Diana on the road the next day.

“So... why did you leave Themyscira, anyway?” she asked, determined to wrangle more of the truth out of Diana and judge it for herself.

Diana looked at her indulgently, and Gabrielle flushed, certain she’d been easily read. But all the same, Diana said, “I can see you want the full story. Maybe the time has come that you heard it.”

Diana’s stories of Themyscira had already engrossed Gabrielle, but once the fantastical tale was fleshed out, she was spellbound. She wished more than ever that she’d stayed with the Amazons longer, or at least long enough to have the first clue about her own adopted history. Perhaps Themyscira was their ancestral home – her ancestral home. Or perhaps the Amazons, her Amazons, simply hadn’t seceded from the world when Hippolyta (“The Hippolyta?” Gabrielle had exclaimed, having heard of the legendary queen even in Poteidaia) had decided to, and Hippolyta had left that part out when she’d codified their history into mythology.

Gabrielle shared her theories with Diana, who nodded slowly. “Those possibilities have occurred to me,” she agreed. “Your Amazons are mortal?”

Gabrielle’s eyes went wide. “Uh, your Amazons aren’t?” she replied, and then as the implication hit her, added, “You aren’t?”

Diana smiled sheepishly in reply.

“By the gods,” Gabrielle muttered. “As it it’s not enough that you’re apparently a demigoddess.”

There was nothing about the decidedly flesh and blood woman sitting next to her now to indicate that she had such supernatural origins. Diana’s skin was warm and smooth where her arm and leg pressed against Gabrielle’s, and while her deep brown eyes were kind and she radiated beauty from her soul straight through her pores, they delivered nothing like the lightning bolt shock Gabrielle felt sometimes when she caught Xena’s astonishing eyes.

Even now, if someone revealed to Gabrielle that some god had fathered Xena, Gabrielle would believe it without question. Xena too was flesh and blood, that much Gabrielle could attest to after all these months of living with and tending to each other, but there was a spark that ran under her skin that felt immortal and impossible to grasp.

“I’ve never heard of an ancient feud with Ares, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything,” Gabrielle offered. “You might ask Xena – she’s met him.”

“Somehow, I don’t think doing so would ingratiate me any further with her,” Diana observed candidly, and Gabrielle had to agree. “I apologize for when we met. She seemed so like the women I’ve known all my life…”

“You thought she might be an Amazon?” Gabrielle concluded, and Diana nodded. “There’s a story there, but I haven’t managed to get it out of her yet. Honestly, I think my tribe was upset that they got stuck with me instead of her.”

“Gabrielle, how could they be?” Diana admonished her, and Gabrielle looked away, sorry she’d voiced her insecurities to anyone as perfect as Diana.

Diana seemed to intuit some of her embarrassment and its causes. “I started training with our greatest warrior when I was eight,” she said. “I was not considered proficient in the art of fighting for another ten years. But even then, no one would ever have ever considered me less of an Amazon.”

“Hard to do when you’re Queen Hippolyta’s daughter,” Gabrielle agreed, but Diana shook her head.

“It’s not your weapons that make you an Amazon,” Diana insisted. “It’s what’s in your heart. We may be known for our warriors, we may even have been created to be warriors, but that’s not the sum of life – and it’s obvious you already know that. You write, you read, you’re interested in the preservation of story and history, all noble pursuits – and all of which Amazons dedicate their lives to on Themyscira.”

Gabrielle dared to meet her eyes and found them looking earnestly back. “Really?” she asked.

“Really,” Diana assured her. “There are many ways to be an Amazon, Gabrielle. Don’t let anything tell you otherwise. And besides,” she said, lightly tapping the staff Gabrielle had laid across her knees, “it seems to me you’re training to be a warrior, too.”

Gabrielle shrugged. “I don’t know. When I left home, that was all I wanted. It was like my whole life made sense when I saw Xena, just for a minute – like this was something I was meant to be, too. But now – I don’t want to kill, even if someday I can.” She looked at Diana, who was listening intently. “Does that sound stupid?”

But Diana smiled. “Not at all,” she said. “I think warriors should fight with a heart full of love, and compassion. I think it’s easy to get lost in the paths that killing can take you down if you don’t.”

Unbidden, Gabrielle’s eyes sought out Xena, who was determinedly not looking their way, and her heart clenched. Maybe, her mind considered, she wasn’t the only one who had found sudden, fleeting clarity in that first moment.

“Is it lonely?” Gabrielle asked as the thought occurred to her. “Since Themyscira isn’t part of the world of men, I mean.”

Thankfully, Diana easily parsed what she meant without forcing Gabrielle to say it more explicitly. “Men are not always required for companionship,” Diana said, watching Gabrielle carefully. “Or for love.”

“Oh,” Gabrielle replied, before the ramifications of the statement burst clearly into her mind. “Oh.”

Laughing, Diana said, “I can give you some pointers, if you’d like.”

Gabrielle’s eyes had snapped to Xena again, and she tore them away furiously before Diana could notice. “Uh, not right now,” she said, her voice a little more high pitched than usual. “Maybe later?”

Diana was still laughing, the sound full and rich and delightful. With the door to new, previously unconsidered possibilities thrown open in her mind, Gabrielle had even less control over her blush than usual, and she wrung her hands, suddenly aware of just how beautiful Diana truly was. Had she – with another woman - ?

“Whenever you’re ready,” Diana promised.

Whatever Gabrielle and that woman had talked about, it had left Gabrielle skittish in a way Xena wasn’t used to seeing her. Intimidated, occasionally, yes; plowing through her uncertainty with overly extroverted ramblings, sure – but Gabrielle? Skittish?

Whatever was said had made Diana laugh and Gabrielle take off into the lake, hardly stopping to shed her clothes and grab the soap from their bags. Xena raised an eyebrow.

“In a hurry?”

Gabrielle looked up at her and then immediately looked away, laughing nervously. “No, no, just, you know, want to be clean! You know what they say, cleanliness is – “

“Okay, okay,” Xena cut her off before she could talk herself in a circle. “Are you alright?”

“Fine!” Gabrielle chirped. “Perfect! I mean, who wouldn’t be on such a perfect day – “

But she went red and silent as footsteps approached from behind Xena.

“You were saying you were fine,” Xena prompted, feeling Diana settle next to her, no doubt with another of her smiles.

Gabrielle laughed again, this time even less convincingly, as her eyes darted between them. “Uh huh,” she agreed. “I think – I’m just gonna – “

“Water’s nice,” Xena said to help her out, only to stop her when she turned to leave with a “Hey – don’t forget the soap.”

Gabrielle dashed back to snatch it up, mimed smacking herself on the head, and took off. Slowly, Xena turned to level an expectant look at Diana, who was still calmly watching Gabrielle hurry into the lake up to her ears.

When it came, her quiet opening was simply, “Your friend is very sweet.”

Like everything else about Diana, it wasn’t threatening, but neither could Xena help the way every last one of her protective hackles rose at her words.

“Look, Diana,” Xena began as politely as she could manage. “Gabrielle is young, and she’s very inexperienced – “

But Xena wasn’t expecting to be laughed at, and it only made her eyes narrow further.

“That much is abundantly clear,” Diana said.

“You wanna tell me how?” Xena asked, not caring that she was sliding sharply into threatening territory.

It didn’t seem to faze Diana. “It was news to her that two women could give each other pleasure,” she said. “Calm down, please, and believe me when I say that I didn’t try to initiate anything with her. It would be like trying to seduce a younger sister.”

“Oh yeah?” Xena challenged. “Then how exactly did this come up in your conversation?"

“She had questions about the Amazons,” Diana replied. “I only wanted to share what I could, since she knows very little of her own history.”

Against her will, Xena felt herself growing defensive. “Gabrielle has been an Amazon for all of four months.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Diana said. “She is still an Amazon, and she wants to learn. Shouldn’t she be allowed? That girl left behind her entire world not long ago. It’s not so wrong of her to want new roots of some kind.”

“I won’t be preached to by someone who’s known Gabrielle for three days,” Xena said tightly.

“Ah – because, as I understand it, you’ve known her all of eight months.”

It was the truth, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. Xena knew she had no claim over Gabrielle, that Gabrielle could easily leave her to go back to the Academy, to join the Amazons permanently, to marry one of her pretty floppy-haired boys and make beautiful children, to do something else that she hadn’t yet realized was manifesting in her soul, and Xena would be infinitely poorer for the loss.

“Don’t deny her the roots she craves just because you think you don’t need them,” Diana said, softening her voice. “She left her world to follow you, as I understand it.”  

“Look,” Xena said heatedly, “just because Gabrielle’s gotten all smitten with you doesn’t mean you can accuse me – “

“If Gabrielle is ‘smitten’ with me, I don’t think it’s at all unclear why,” Diana said, and her gaze pointedly swept the length of Xena’s body.

Unfazed, Xena caught the implication and drawled, “You’re accusing Gabrielle of having a type?”

It wasn’t as if she’d been completely unaware of Gabrielle’s burgeoning sexuality, and even the ways it had proven to extend beyond those floppy-haired boys, but she’d chalked up Gabrielle’s recent lingering looks on Xena’s own body to either a fluke or simple curiosity. The idea that Diana might be right was unbalancing Xena more than she would ever be willing to admit, because what exactly was Xena supposed to do about it? And it would be Xena who would have to do something about it, Diana was irritatingly right about that, too.

“She might,” Diana said, again with that infernal, knowing smile. “It’s not a bad thing. Given her age, her inexperience, her recent ignorance of what can exist between women – I’d be surprised if she even knows about it.”

“Yeah, well, I guess you’ve seen to that.”

It was a catty remark that Xena regretted the moment it was out of her mouth, but Diana didn’t seem to be offended. “You don’t mean that,” she said after a moment, too kindly.

Of course not, Xena wanted to snarl. She wanted Gabrielle to discover the full expanse and depth of what was possible in herself and the ways she could manifest those things in the world. She’d never wanted anything less for her, but the desire to enable that exploration and coming into knowledge had grown over these last few months with an acuity she’d never have predicted when she’d first been faced with those innocent, pleading eyes over a campfire.

You’ll regret this, she’d thought, even as she’d listened to Gabrielle trying to make herself comfortable on the ground. But as the days had turned into weeks and Gabrielle stayed stubbornly near, that though had shifted into What if you don’t? and finally, recently, What if you leave?

And here in response to that question was Diana: tall, dark-haired, confident, a warrior… and able to offer Gabrielle things Xena would never be able to. Why shouldn’t Gabrielle be curious about her newfound adopted Amazon heritage? And why shouldn’t she go to Themyscira, if it actually existed?

And if Diana’s stories were true - why would she ever come back?

“I think, like I said, that you’ve known Gabrielle for three days,” Xena said. “And that maybe you don’t know everything you’re dealing with.”

Diana capitulated with raised hands and another smile, but couldn’t resist getting the last word in: “The same might be said for you.”

Whatever had sent Gabrielle skittering away that afternoon seemed to have resolved itself by the time she came back to camp in the low twilight, her long blonde hair hanging in drying, burnished waves. Only a hint of a blush remained on her cheeks whenever Diana spoke to her calmly and evenly – appropriately, Xena thought, as one would a frightened animal – and once or twice when she caught Xena’s eyes over the fire, only to quickly look away.

Still, when it came time to bed down, Gabrielle laid her own pallet out near Xena’s.

“Are we fighting?” Xena felt compelled to ask, vaguely unnerved by the silence emanating from her normally ebullient friend.

Gabrielle’s response was a vague squeak before her body rolled over and two green eyes blinked at her across the distance. “What? No, of course not,” Gabrielle insisted, but then seemed to reconsider. “Why, do you think we are?”

“No,” Xena dismissed, and couldn’t quite help her irritation at how juvenile the conversation was. “You just seemed upset this afternoon.”

Gabrielle sighed, and didn’t say anything for a moment. “Not upset,” was her answer.

“Then what?” Xena prodded gently, but Gabrielle just rolled onto her back and shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just – take my word for it?”

In the near distance, Diana was awake and keeping watch. Xena didn’t miss how Gabrielle’s eyes strayed towards her, and admitted grudgingly that firelight only served to make her features and form more ethereally beautiful than they already were in the full light of day. If it had Gabrielle entranced, at least her friend had good taste.

Xena pushed down her idle resentment along with her questions of just what truths Gabrielle had clearly managed to wrangle out of Diana earlier, and nodded.

“Okay,” she agreed, and was rewarded with Gabrielle’s smile. “Get some sleep,” she said to cover the emotion tightening her chest; and with a brush of her hand over Xena’s forearm and a murmured good night, Gabrielle did.

The rest of the four days to Amazon territory was markedly less tense, Gabrielle thought because Xena was making a concerted effort to make it that way. It was as if she’d reached some realization that night that went beyond the necessity of her being more polite. Gabrielle had thought so at the time, too, although she’d been too sleepy to fully process it.

Her awareness in that moment had been limited to the minute shifts in expression across Xena’s face, strong and beautiful in the shadows cast by the forest and the distant firelight. It seemed to have cracked open, just slightly, with her blue eyes fixed beyond the fire where Diana sat on watch, and the sight of it made something deep inside Gabrielle twinge for reasons she couldn’t articulate. It was enough to drift off in the comfort of her nearness, and so Gabrielle had.

But it did seem that something had shifted between Xena and Diana. Gabrielle returned from scavenging for edible greens the next to the sound of swords ringing against each other, promptly dropped everything she’d found, and nearly cried out in alarm to see the two of them locked in combat. It was only Diana’s grin and Xena’s schoolyard taunts that stopped her.

So she did what anyone would: she settled after recovering her dropped berries and shoots, popped a few berries into her mouth, and starting shouting Go Xena! and Get her, Diana! indiscriminately.

“Whose side are you on, anyway?” Xena yelled back at her while deflecting a blow with a grunt.

“Do better, and maybe yours,” Gabrielle called back cheerfully.

“You heard her, Xena,” Diana said, circling Xena with a grin. “Do better.”

Had Xena not been otherwise occupied, Gabrielle was sure that both of them would be on the receiving ends of some withering looks. Visualizing just the expression in her mind, Gabrielle also grinned and settled back on her berry-stained hands to watch the show, deliberately putting aside the confusion of the day before as she did. She’d always loved watching Xena fight, the beauty in her sheer power and graceful agility. She’d be robbing herself if she ever let that change.

Diana seemed similarly lithe and to rely on agility over power, though Gabrielle didn’t doubt that there was a power within her to be unleashed. She wondered if Xena could sense the demigod in her while locked this intimately in battle, playful as it was. She wondered if that was the main reason underlying Xena’s innate distrust of her – Xena did seem to have an extra sense when it came to knowing the gods were around.

Hopefully Xena wouldn’t hate her for keeping it a secret, if she ever found out. Gabrielle considered Diana a friend, even if she weren’t already a sister Amazon – surely there were social rules about that within her tribe, and Gabrielle would never betray a friend’s confidence regardless.

Xena and Diana called an end to the match not long after. “Is that an Amazon fighting style?” Gabrielle called over to Diana, curious.

“I suppose,” Diana said, “since I learned how to fight from Amazons. I can show you some moves, if you like.”

Gabrielle could feel Xena watching hawk-eyed, and she smiled. “Sure. I’m only comfortable with a staff for now, though.”

“Not to worry – I think I see something suitable for our purposes.”

Diana disappeared into the forest and returned a minute later with a straight branch of birch crudely fashioned into something that could serve as a staff. “Just don’t use all your force, and it will hold up,” Diana said to Gabrielle’s skepticism.

Most of Gabrielle’s training with the staff had come from Xena, although the groundwork had been laid by Eponin and Ephiny in the few days she’d had with them. She couldn’t venture to guess what they’d think of how she’d developed, simply because she didn’t know what their later lessons would have covered.

Xena had always urged her to use her body to her advantage – a lesson Gabrielle was still learning. “My body is different from yours,” Xena had explained patiently on several occasions. “I have strengths – and weaknesses – that you don’t. That means you need to move differently, fight differently, than I do.”

When Xena was the only person she really had to study, it left Gabrielle a little in the dark, but she was beginning to understand what she meant when facing against a similarly patient Diana.

“Of course,” Diana said when asked if all the Amazons on Themyscira adjusted their fighting styles to their bodies’ capabilities. “It would be foolish not to. The fundamentals are the same, however. Come on – these are things my aunt taught me and all the Amazons under her command.”

Xena was the one who had taken up as their audience now, and Gabrielle felt herself growing a little nervous under her keen gaze.

“Don’t be so self-conscious,” Diana advised her. “She’s doing exactly what any warrior would do.”

“Watching?” Gabrielle asked.

“Learning,” Diana corrected. “You do it yourself.”

“I don’t think Xena has anything to learn from me,” Gabrielle said. “At least not on this subject.”

Diana laughed. “Maybe,” she said. “But maybe not. If nothing else, you have something to teach her about what it is you need. How often does she have the chance to observe what your body has to say to her without distraction? Let her.”

Gabrielle didn’t know how much of the innuendo Diana had intended, but she channeled her embarrassment and frustration into the way she sparred, based on the simple movements Diana had taught her, until they felt as natural and as much a part of her as her own limbs.

“You did well,” Xena said to her afterwards when Gabrielle approached her. “How did that feel to you?”

“Good,” Gabrielle said, a little surprised that Diana had been right. “I’ll probably need to figure out how to compensate for different attackers, though.”

“You will,” Xena agreed, but smiled. “But we can work on that.”

“Whoa,” Gabrielle said, unable to help her surprise before her brain caught up with her. “I mean, congratulations!”

Ephiny was looking at her with hands on her hips and eyebrows raised once Gabrielle tore her eyes away from her still small, but clearly pregnant belly. “Thanks,” she said dryly. “Not everybody’s happy about it.”

“Why not?” Gabrielle asked, outraged at the idea.

But Xena seemed to have an idea. “Phantes?” she asked quietly, and Ephiny nodded.

“Never mind that for now, though,” she said, brisk and to-the-point as ever. “It looks like you’ve brought us a visitor.”

“Ephiny, this is Diana of Themyscira – a fellow Amazon,” Gabrielle introduced them. “Diana, Ephiny. She was my guide to the tribe a few months ago.”

“Themyscira?” Ephiny said after clasping hands with Diana, her eyes narrowing in suspicion or concentration of both. “I always thought that was a myth.”

“I assure you, it’s not a myth,” Diana replied with a faint smile. “But I had been hoping you might be able to point me toward a way to get back.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but then again, I’m just one Amazon,” Ephiny said. Her tone was perfectly civil – an upgrade from the thinly veiled condescension Gabrielle had been treated to upon her sudden induction into the tribe – but Gabrielle could still spot the caution behind it. “Our queen or any of the record keepers will probably know some things I don’t, though. You up for a walk?”

Gabrielle was surprised when Ephiny created an excuse to take her aside on the walk to the village.

“So, this Diana,” she said, her tone low. “What’s really her story?”

Gabrielle hesitated, and then sighed, scrubbing her hands over her face. “Look, I’m sure she’ll tell Queen Melosa when we get to the village, but before then I don’t want to break a confidence.”

“But you know,” Ephiny said to clarify, and Gabrielle nodded. “And you trust her?”

There was the doubt again. Irritated, Gabrielle jerked her arm away from where Ephiny had taken it, and said, “Why don’t you just talk to Xena? You two can yak it up all you want about how young and naïve I am.”

“Gabrielle, that’s not what I meant,” Ephiny said, and at a look from Gabrielle, admitted, “Well, not entirely. Hey, you can’t exactly blame me when somebody steps out of mythology and claims to be real,” she defended herself. “What would you think?”

Gabrielle felt herself deflate despite herself. “Is what she’s claiming to be really that far-fetched?”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Ephiny said. “I wasn’t lying when I said I’m not the most informed on the subject of Themyscira. Most of us have heard of it, but only as a tribe that seceded years ago.”

“How many years?”

“I don’t know – centuries, I’d guess,” Ephiny said. “A long, long time. Nobody’s heard of or from them since as far as I know, but then, I’m not the queen, and I don’t hear everything.”

Gabrielle looked away and then ahead, where Diana and Xena had fallen into step with each other led by the rest of the Amazon guard. Ephiny touched her arm again, and said, “Look, you’re an Amazon, this tribe’s princess, and I hope my friend as well as my sister. All I want to know is if you truly believe what she’s saying.”

That much was easy enough to answer. “I do,” Gabrielle assured her. “I really think she’s just trying to figure out how to get home. She didn’t even know there were Amazons outside of Themyscira until we told her.”

“Hmm,” Ephiny said. “Well, let’s go find out what’s been happening on Themyscira all these years.”

They resumed their walk and had nearly caught up with the others when Gabrielle felt compelled to speak. “Ephiny – can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure,” was Ephiny’s surprised, if wary, surprise.

“You’ve already taught me so much about the Amazons – everything I know, really,” Gabrielle said with a self-conscious laugh. “Talking to Diana this past week, I’ve realized how much I don’t know. About the Amazons – even about my own tribe. Would you be willing to teach me more?”

Ephiny’s initial surprise had melted into a vague pleasure. “Like I said, I don’t know how they do things on Themyscira these days or how different it is from our ways in Greece – but yes. I’d be honored.”

“Thanks,” Gabrielle said. “I’ve just never really felt like an Amazon yet, and I know there are all sorts of things I probably need to do and learn before you really see me as one either – "

“Hey, hey,” Ephiny interjected, and Gabrielle obligingly cut herself off. “The moment you accepted Terreis’ rite of caste, you became an Amazon. Just because you’ve got some catching up to do doesn’t change that. Don’t let anybody make you feel like you aren’t one of us, not even me. Got it?”

Her hand had dropped to her swelling stomach, and Gabrielle recalled her earlier words: Not everybody’s happy about it. 

Gabrielle was the one this time to take Ephiny’s hand, and was surprised when Ephiny allowed it without an impatient grimace. “Diana said there are a lot of ways to be an Amazon,” she offered.

It earned her a smile. “Well,” Ephiny said, “sounds like they do some things right on Themyscira after all. Come on.”

As it happened, Melosa heard the world “Themyscira” and immediately invited Diana to speak with her privately. Gabrielle was clearly apprehensive about her intentions, but Xena placated her with a quiet, “Diana can take care of herself.”

“I guess that’s true,” Gabrielle admitted, and sat down to wait on a bench in one of the open common spaces they were in.

Xena usually didn’t mind the faraway look on Gabrielle’s face that usually indicated some deep thought preceding either Gabrielle burying herself in her scrolls for hours that night or asking Xena something she suspected Xena wouldn’t like. Xena had kept an eye her during her long conversation with Ephiny as they’d trailed behind the rest of the group on the way here, and had a sinking feeling she knew what was coming.

“So, what did you talk about with Ephiny?” she asked as casually as possible.

“Hmm? Oh,” Gabrielle said, refocusing on Xena. “She wanted to know if I thought she could trust Diana. Apparently Themyscira has become something like a myth to the Amazons.”

“Really?” Xena said. “In what way?”

“Ephiny didn’t know the particulars – just that a long, long time ago there was a story about Themyscira leaving the rest of the nation, and nobody really knows where they are now.”

Xena bit back the if they ever existed that was on the tip of her tongue. She’d come to believe that the essence of Diana’s mission was truthful, if not the entirety of her words.

“I’m sorry to hear that for Diana’s sake,” she said, which was also the truth.

Gabrielle looked up at her in surprise. “Really?” she said. “Huh. You two didn’t actually manage to become friends, did you?”

The words were teasing, and Xena allowed her face to scrunch in mock disapproval, to Gabrielle’s apparent delight. “Nah. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I was worried for a second,” Gabrielle teased back, before settling again into her thoughtful mood. “Xena, I was thinking. There’s a lot I don’t know about the Amazons.”

Here it was. Xena steeled herself. “And?”

“You know more than me, and you’re not even an Amazon – that you’ll tell me about, anyway.”

Xena kept her face carefully impassive at that. With any luck, Gabrielle would never know anything about her history with the Amazons – not this tribe or any other.

“And since I’m a part of this tribe, not to mention the nation as a whole, I think I should learn more about them – and how to be one.”

And there it was. Xena had known it was coming – had even had forewarning, this time – but she still couldn’t help the way her stomach dropped at Gabrielle’s words. But Xena had let Gabrielle go gracefully once before, and for Gabrielle, she would do it again.

And so carefully, encouragingly, Xena smiled. “I think that’s a great idea, Gabrielle.”

It was the right response: Gabrielle smiled, excitement and relief in her eyes. “You do? Oh Xena, that’s great. I’ve asked Ephiny if she would teach me, and she said she would.”

“I’m glad,” Xena said, still smiling carefully. “You deserve some roots. I’m just surprised you’re not headed to Themyscira right away.”

“Oh, I mean – if it’s possible, I definitely want to go,” Gabrielle said. “It sounds incredible from what Diana has said. And I know you’d like it, too.”

“Hmm,” Xena said noncommittally, but was saved from having to make further response by Melosa and Diana’s reemergence from the queen’s hut.

Rather than call the Amazons together, Melosa simply beckoned Xena and Gabrielle to where she and Diana stood.

“We’re delighted to welcome our long-lost sister to our tribe,” Melosa said with a nod to Diana. “Thank you for bringing her to us.”

“We’re glad to do so,” Gabrielle said. “Can you help her?”

“Possibly,” was all Melosa was willing to say. “Diana tells me that she’s been told all her life that all remaining Amazons live on Themyscira. That it was taken out of the world by Zeus for their protection before Ares slaughtered the rest of the gods.”

“Ares?” Xena said. “He’s dangerous, but he wouldn’t turn against the gods.”

“Not to mention our being unaware of the gods’ demise,” Melosa said. “Including our patron, Artemis.”

Diana’s expression was tight when Xena looked at her to judge her expression. “I’m sorry, Diana,” she said, and was surprised that she meant it. “I’ve seen the gods. And more of them than just Ares.”

“I have reason to believe that I am in more than just the wrong place,” Diana replied. “I believe I’m also in the wrong world.”

“The wrong world?” Gabrielle asked. “What do you mean?”

“I, too, have met Ares,” Diana told them. “And I destroyed him.”

Xena’s eyebrows rose, that much seeming unlikely, to say the least. “You destroyed Ares? How?”

“The particulars don’t matter,” Diana said with a negligent wave of her hand. “I know for a fact that he did destroy the other gods. If what you’re saying is true – that the gods still live, that you have seen them – then something is more incorrect than just my location. Zeus took Themyscira out of the world, out of time. Who knows what other magic that removal wrought on us?”

Melosa looked extremely displeased. “Hippolyta was a coward to ask for it.”

“You know nothing of Queen Hippolyta,” Diana said sharply. It was the first time she’d raised her voice that Xena had heard, and Xena raised her eyebrows. “Forgive me,” Diana said, recovering herself. “There are many things it seems neither you nor I have been told regarding the true story of the Amazons. I am only looking for passage home.”

But Xena wasn’t the only one to have taken note of Diana’s outburst. Melosa was scrutinizing her as well. “How was it, then, that you came to be able to leave Themyscira at all? If it was taken out of the world with magic none of us can comprehend?”

“Its protections were breached,” Diana said shortly. “Men came to our shore bringing battle.”

“The world found Themyscira,” Melosa deduced.

“Yes. It’s not something I can explain easily. We found it difficult to believe ourselves. As for why I left… I believed that it was the right thing to do.”

“And was it?” Melosa asked, eyes narrowed.

“Yes,” Diana said. “But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like to see home again. I’d thought I had managed it when I arrived in this land. Clearly I was mistaken.”

Xena gave them both a few moments to stare each other down before she broke in. “So what’s this about ‘possibly’ being able to help her?”

“There is an ancient talisman we have,” Melosa said, not taking her eyes off Diana. “Our oral history says it was given to us by Zeus. We don’t know what power it holds, and we’ve never tried to use it. But it is inscribed with words in the ancient language: ‘seek new shores’.”

“Themyscira,” Gabrielle exclaimed. “It has to be – right?”

“Perhaps,” Melosa said again. “If our sister wishes to try to use it, she’s welcome to. I’ve already asked Ephiny to retrieve it.”

Ephiny returned then, bearing a stone in her hands. Xena raised her eyebrows again. “Not much to look at, is it?”

“It doesn’t need to be if it does the trick,” Diana replied, and to Ephiny and Melosa, said, “May I?” At their nods, she took it in her hands.

Next to Xena, Gabrielle was obviously holding her breath. Xena herself was feeling a strange anticipation. Melosa looked on impassively, and Ephiny curiously.

“Do you need to say anything?” Gabrielle prompted, and startled, Diana looked up at her. “The words,” Gabrielle continued.

Diana turned over the rock, ran her fingers over the inscription. “Seek new shores,” she said in the old language, her voice distant; and then, more strongly, she said, “I seek new shores.”

Gabrielle gasped as the air rent between them and Diana. Xena hurriedly pulled her back by her arm and urged her around to stand behind Diana instead, facing the opening that had expanded to be the size of a person. Through it they could see a beach of white sands and blue-green waters washing placidly ashore, while beyond it, high upon the cliffs, scores of female warriors were doing what seemed to be drills.

“Themyscira,” Diana said reverently. Xena caught the relief in her voice, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Diana covered it with one of her own in silent thanks.

“You can go home,” Gabrielle said, coming around to clasp Diana’s other arm.

“I’m going home,” Diana repeated, and turned to fold her into an embrace, which Gabrielle gratefully returned. “Thank you for helping me do so.”

“Anytime. But remember, I’m still going to take you up on your offer to visit,” Gabrielle said, and shook a finger at her in warning.

“How could I forget?” Diana said, laughing. “You are welcome at any time. All of you are,” she clarified, looking at Melosa and Ephiny, and even lingering warmly on Xena. “But I don’t know how or if you can return here if you do.”

“Thank you for your invitation,” Melosa said, her eyes fixed beyond Diana on distant Themyscira. “I think for now, I won’t be taking my chances.”  

Diana’s eyes were understanding as they rested on Xena, and then on Gabrielle. “Thank you,” she said. “From the bottom of my heart. I hope that someday we will be able to communicate more easily – and be a part of each other’s lives more freely. You have my word that I’ll be working on it.”

Melosa graced her with a rare smile. “I’ll look forward to it – if it happens.”

Diana clasped hands again with Melosa and Ephiny, returning the talisman to the latter, and hugged Gabrielle tightly again with a few whispered words Xena didn’t hear. And then, to Xena’s surprise, Diana embraced her as well.

“Live well,” she said. “Be good to each other.”

Xena heard the words for what they were. “We will,” she promised. “Go on.”

And with a final smile, Diana stepped through the portal, disappearing from sight when it closed behind her as if it had never existed at all.

“I hope she’s okay,” Gabrielle said that night as they prepared for sleep. A hut with actual beds had been provided to them – a luxury Gabrielle relished too much for Xena to object to, even nominally – and Gabrielle had already changed into a shift and squirmed beneath the covers.

Xena allowed herself a moment to appreciate the sight. Gabrielle was a beautiful girl, and was rapidly transforming into a beautiful and competent woman, but her childish holdovers had a way of charming Xena more than she cared to admit.

While she wasn’t oblivious to the fact that it was something more than a familial kind of affection that stirred her heart, and despite Diana’s well-intentioned words, Xena was well aware that neither of them could afford Xena to explore those paths to their ends just yet.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Xena said. “Probably reuniting with Hippolyta as we speak.”

It was a gamble, but it paid off. Gabrielle sat straight up, her mouth slightly open. “You knew?” she said.

Xena shrugged. “It was a guess. Either Diana’s a lot older than we thought, or there’s a lot more going on with Themyscira than we thought.”

Gabrielle shifted guiltily. Xena smiled to herself.

“Then again,” Xena continued nonchalantly, “it might have something to do with the fact that she’s a demigoddess.”

That earned her an indignant squawk and a pillow aimed at her head, which she dodged with a chuckle.

“Okay, Warrior Princess, I’m starting to feel like you were the one playing me for a fool,” Gabrielle said accusingly, getting out of bed to march up to her. “Did you have your own conversations with Diana you didn’t feel the need to share with me, or is this one of the things you figured out in your all-knowing mysterious ways?”

“Just another guess,” Xena reassured her, bracing her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders. “But you confirmed it for me now. She felt a little off to me, like Hercules does. It wasn’t that hard to put together.”

“Hmm,” Gabrielle said, eyes still gleaming with suspicion. “I’d wondered if that was why you didn’t trust her for so long.”

Xena opted not to tell her that her distrust of Diana had always been more rooted in Diana’s interest in Gabrielle, and Gabrielle’s own interest in Diana, figuring that that answer would actually be less acceptable than what Gabrielle had already assumed. Regardless, any threat Diana had posed was now unreachable, and Xena was feeling much more cheerful for it.

“Well, it hardly matters now,” Xena said, following Gabrielle to sit on the edge of the bed, and knocking her shoulder when she looked despondent at the reminder that Diana was gone. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go to Themyscira.”

Gabrielle looked up and smiled. “Maybe someday,” she said softly. “For now, I want to be in this world.”

Just like that, Xena’s cheerfulness was dampened like a sudden rain on a clear summer day. “Yeah,” she said, trying to maintain the appearance of it even so. “Guess you have a lot to do here, huh? You’ll make a fine Amazon.”

“Thanks,” Gabrielle said. Her smile, though soft, was somehow incisive enough to cut to the quick of her, and Xena cleared her throat.

“So, uh, I guess you’ll want me outta here. You’ve got all your stuff? Do you need anything else?”

Confusion crossed Gabrielle’s face. “What are you talking about? Xena, your bed’s right there.”

“I mean tomorrow,” Xena said, but that didn’t seem to clear things up if Gabrielle’s face was any indication. “You’re staying? With Ephiny?”

“Oh,” she said, but then her face fell. “I mean, you can leave if you want. I’d hoped it wouldn’t be too much to ask. You’re welcome to hang around, this hut is for both of us.”

The hope on Gabrielle’s face was almost too much to quash. Xena wished she wasn’t making this so hard on them both. “Gabrielle,” she began, very gently. “I can’t live my life in an Amazon village.” For more than one reason.

But Gabrielle’s face only grew more confused again. “What are you talking about? I was hoping to spend a few more days, maybe another week since we’re already here. I know we didn’t get around to talking about how much long we’d stay – “

Xena cut her off, relief pouring through her like a waterfall. “A week is fine. We can even do two, if you want.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle said, but she was eyeing her with growing comprehension. “Xena, you didn’t think I was staying here for good, did you?”

Unable to lie, Xena shrugged as lightly as she could. “You deserve roots,” she said again. “I meant that.”

Gabrielle gazed at her for a long moment with an almost unbearable fondness, the sincerity of which seemed at odds with her youth. Xena resisted the urge to flinch away, feeling more transparent to anyone than she had in a very long time, and certainly more so than she’d ever bargained feeling with Gabrielle. What did she see, Xena wondered? What had she ever seen?

But Gabrielle smiled again, a sudden restoration of that summer’s day, and a calm fell over Xena at the new touch of her palm against Xena’s cheek.

“Why don’t you let me worry about where I’m putting down my roots?” she suggested, teasing mingling with sincerity and affection in her voice.

Xena was happy enough to concede.