Archive of Our Own

Contrary to popular belief, he thought Jiang Wanyin was fine, except that Lan Wangji couldn’t watch him do any sort of cultivation without wanting to cry a little. A voice in his head told him that maybe Jiang Wanyin felt the same way, but he wasn’t in the mood to indulge his own empathy.

Also, everything he said to Wei Wuxian pissed him off and Wei Wuxian either stood there and took it or thought it was funny. 

Also he never stood up for Wei Wuxian against the rest of the cultivation world, and it reminded Lan Wangji that he didn’t stand up for him soon enough either; he looked at Jiang Wanyin and saw all of his own mistakes and how he was once too tied to the status quo and blinded by rules and inflexible and he couldn’t see what was right in front of his face until it was gone, truly gone, for sixteen years of mourning and the color having faded from his world.

Right. But other than that, Jiang Wanyin was fine in his books, and he didn’t mind being early to the conference at Lotus Pier with all the sect leaders, or even that Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling weren’t there yet to break the tension, or that he was going to be dining alone with Jiang Wanyin after not having talked to him about anything but necessary politics since he was trying to defend Wei Wuxian from him while they were all being held prisoner. Or that Jiang Wanyin kept giving him these looks.

“You’ve been hiding something,” Lan Wangji accused him, as soon as they were alone.

Jiang Wanyin didn’t deny it, though he did appear to choose his words carefully. “I’m not hiding anything! I’m just keeping something to myself. Nothing would be better if I told anyone,” he said. “If I told you, you’d have a secret to keep, because I can’t imagine you’d tell him any more than I want to. And if I did tell him… Well, he says it’s all in the past, but this could change his mind.”

Lan Wangji was stunned into silence, though outwardly he looked the same as he did when he was silent for any other reason. It was obvious who ‘he’ was, of course. Lan Wangji wondered if Jiang Wanyin ever even said Wei Wuxian’s name anymore.

“It’s fine for him not to know,” Jiang Wanyin said, when he realized that he was going to have to keep leading this conversation he didn’t want to have and didn’t start. “If you never trust me on anything else for the rest of our lives, trust me on this.”

In all likelihood, Lan Wangji was going to trust him on other things in the future, because it was complicated but Jiang Wanyin loved Wei Wuxian, almost certainly more than he hated him, and he hadn’t been able to kill him when it came down to it, and he looked for his body after he fell. 

Once, a lifetime ago, Lan Wangji hadn’t trusted someone he should have because he felt the need to have all the details first instead of trusting the person who was begging him to believe in him. It might have affected him a little.

The man in front of him now was less trustworthy in his eyes, but who wasn’t? He was ultimately a good man. And from the sound of it, from little pieces of conversations about Wei Wuxian’s childhood, from the first time they all met in Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji knew that Jiang Wanyin tried to protect Wei Wuxian for a long time before he lost his way in a world of jealousy and tragedy and politics. 

Still, he couldn’t say that word. “I believe you,” he answered, instead. “I won’t ask about it again.”

Jiang Wanyin looked relieved, and surprised. He seemed unsure of what he was saying next, unable to hold sustained eye contact. “Back... then, before everything got bad, Wei Wuxian talked about you all the time. I was already mad at him for being better than me, so I wanted him to go away, and then I was mad at you for being as good as he was and stealing him away. I know that makes no sense. I thought he’d always be around, no matter how much we fought or how much I resented him. He was supposed to be my second in command for life and he was lured away by talent and a bad personality. I didn’t even think you liked him then.”

Lan Wangji paused to decide how much he wanted to share, and to decide if he was upset that his personality was criticized. He wasn’t. “I did like him, but I didn’t know how to respond to him. I talked about him constantly after he left,” he admitted, unsure of where this was going, but unwilling to let a confession about Wei Wuxian go unanswered, not anymore. 

“I can’t imagine that at all.”

“Good, please don’t.”

It was almost a joke, so Jiang Wanyin almost smiled. The moment passed; his expression got serious again. “Why did you trust him, after he turned to demonic cultivation?” 

That was an easy question. “I believed it was obvious Wei Ying was still Wei Ying.”

“Obvious to you, anyway,” Jiang Wanyin mumbled. Lan Wangji didn’t say anything because, well, yes, that was the case. “What was I supposed to think, when my brother disappeared and came back on the side of the enemy, using demonic cultivation and renouncing all ties to the Jiang sect? And hearing all the stories about him, and being a young sect leader. Was I supposed to stand up for him?”

“I did. Luo Qingyang did. But ultimately, I think my brother is right. I hope he’ll forgive me for telling you this. When I brought Wei Ying back to Cloud Recesses my brother sheltered him, though he still trusted Jin Guangyao. He asked me why my trust in Wei Ying should be more legitimate than his trust in Jin Guangyao.” He paused. “I had no reason.”

Jiang Wanyin considered this. “That was after… after he died, though. You obviously found out about his core later, at the same time I did, so you didn’t even know yet, when you were defending him at Nightless City.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t believe he was even bringing his core up. He knew that he’d been pretty obvious back then, as they listened to Wen Ning and the shock was evident on his face. If anything it was a surprise Jiang Wanyin noticed.

“He took my drink so I didn’t have to drink it,” Lan Wangji started. Then he stopped, because aloud it sounded patently ridiculous, but also because it meant a lot to him, and made it hard to continue speaking.

“I remember,” Jiang Wanyin said, giving him time and also confirming his understanding of the time period in question. When the silence stretched on too long, he continued. “I thought he was just being arrogant and demonstrating that he didn’t have to follow rules he didn’t agree with.”

That was enough to inspire Lan Wangji to speak. “A lot of the times when people thought he was just being arrogant, he was trying to help someone.”

“I know that. Now.”

“You remember the first time Wei Ying got me drunk?” Lan Wangji waits for the confirmation before continuing. “So he knew how bad it could be, and how much I didn’t want to.”

“Wait, the first time? There was another time?” Jiang Wanyin looked reluctantly curious. Of course. He still was Wei Wuxian’s brother, after all. There was still mischief somewhere in him. Back then he’d been drinking with Wei Wuxian.

“The other times were my fault. I don’t think Wei Ying would force me to drink anymore, especially since Xichen told him about the time when he was gone, and since Wei Ying had to deal with me the other time. He seemed tired the next day.”

Jiang Wanyin purses his lips together, trying not to laugh. 

If Jiang Wanyin had been drinking right now Lan Wangji might have joined him, just on the slight chance that humiliating himself would endear himself to the man who was still, sort of, Wei Wuxian’s brother. He probably wouldn’t actually do it, but it would be tempting.

“I’ve got to get him to tell me about it,” he finally said.

“Good luck,” Lan Wangji said. “Wei Ying is surprisingly good at keeping secrets, and he won’t even tell me.”

“But that’s why you trusted him? He protected you?”

“Not only that. Infinite moments like that. At the time, I was still thinking more like you were. I wanted to stop Wei Ying from using demonic cultivation and drag him home until he…” he broke off.

“Yeah,” Jiang Wanyin said anyway, like he knew what he meant to say.

“After he let go of me, and the shock passed, I realized all at once how wrong I’d been not to stand by him. Not because I knew yet how big the conspiracy was against him. I just knew that Wei Ying was exactly who I thought he was the whole time.”

Jiang Wanyin had seen the look on Lan Wangji’s face as he held on for dear life and heard his voice when Wei Wuxian fell. “I figured that out much later. And then I was mad at you for not being by his side when I couldn’t be, just as much as I was mad that I couldn’t, which is unfair. And I’m still so mad at him.”

“It’s not unfair,” Lan Wangji said. “Your relationship is complicated. For me and Wei Ying, our lives and reputations and history are complicated, but our relationship now is not. Because that is what else I realized as he fell. I regretted not being by his side much more than I could have ever regretted being wrong.”

His voice was hard and firm, a declaration, but there was a slow leak of tears from his eyes that he was making no move to wipe away. Jiang Wanyin was profoundly uncomfortable. Technically this wasn’t the first time he’d seen the other man cry, but both times it felt like something he shouldn’t be witnessing.

“So when he came back, that’s why you were by his side no matter what? Until now, anyway.”

That shook Lan Wangji out of it. “Yes. But I’m still on his side now. And not only because I received proof I was right to trust him all along. Xichen is a better man than I am, because he was willing to consider he was wrong about Jin Guangyao. But the second Wei Ying was back, the thought never crossed my mind.”

Jiang Wanyin couldn’t help but think about what that might have meant if Wei Wuxian had been an evil demonic cultivator. Would he have then been an evil demonic cultivator with Hanguang-Jun on his side? Could anybody have taken them on?

Lan Wangji’s harsh look seemed to read his mind and say, exactly, you see my point.

“Aren’t you mad at me, then? For not being by his side?”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said, bluntly. “But only because he loves you, and you keep letting him down.”

Jiang Wanyin wasn’t sure that was true anymore. He didn’t know how to love Wei Wuxian, after he’d stopped being a person and started being a legend. Hanguang-Jun managed just fine, he thought, bitterly. Maybe they were at a level no mere mortals could comprehend.

He couldn’t say any of that.

“But if I trust Wei Ying and he trusts you, I’ll have faith in you.” He didn’t need to say not to make him regret it. Jiang Wanyin was getting better at reading him.

“Why would you go that far? Why not try to turn him against me?”

“I don’t want to take Wei Ying away from everyone he cares about and keep him to myself.” Lan Wangji paused and Jiang Wanyin wondered if he was going to take it back and say that was exactly what he wanted. “I just want him to be happy. You ask why he’s not here, why I’m ‘letting’ him go off on his own. That’s what he needs right now, and my brother needs me, and I’m happy to be there for him. Wei Ying would be happy to be there for his family, too.”

Jiang Wanyin heard the implications in that statement, so he ignored it. “So when he no longer ‘needs’ to travel he’ll stay with you? Or when your brother is out of seclusion, you’ll go off with him?”

“Both. Either. It doesn’t matter. I believe in us.”

“So you don’t miss him or wish he was there with you?”

Pain flashed across Lan Wangji’s face for just a moment. “Of course I do,” he confessed.

“You lecture me on how I treat him, but you’re not giving him all the facts and letting him make his own decision,” Jiang Wanyin said. “That doesn’t sound like trust.”

Lan Wangji was silent, so Jiang Wanyin continued. “Jin Ling told me that he thinks Wei Wuxian wants to stay with you, but you didn’t ask him to.”

Jin Ling is a child, Lan Wangji thought. It wasn’t technically true, anymore. Jin Ling also had what one might call a loose grasp on other people’s feelings, but it wasn’t like Lan Wangji was one to talk. And the truth was, that thought hit him like a gut punch. It was probably evident on his face, given the way Jiang Wanyin flinched back slightly.

“I didn’t actually mean to tell you that,” Jiang Wanyin said.

“I’d rather know,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Wanyin continued to backtrack. “It might not be true. Jin Ling might be projecting because he probably wants to spend more time with his friends.”

Lan Wangji studied his face. “And his family,” he added.

“Including Wei Wuxian, you mean?”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji replied, no nonsense, before his eyes changed. “But if he wants to see his friends, I’m sure there is a diplomatic reason for Sect Leader Jin to be required in Cloud Recesses.”

“Wei Wuxian really did rub off on you,” Jiang Wanyin said.

“I want his nephew to be happy. And some things are more important than politics.”

There was a brief commotion outside, and someone burst through the door. “Who let you guys talk unsupervised?” Wei Wuxian asked, panting. He was earlier than he said he’d be. Then he looked over at Lan Wangji and his eyes got soft like he couldn’t help it.

Jiang Wanyin jumped up. “I was just leaving. Don’t think you can run away next week without saying goodbye.”

He practically ran out the door. “But you’re leaving without saying goodbye,” Wei Wuxian grumbled, not even bothering to try to be loud enough to be heard. 

“Hi, Lan Zhan,” he said, sitting at the place next to him instead of Jiang Wanyin’s recently vacated side across the table.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji responded, automatically.

“I hope Jiang Cheng wasn’t too mean to you, but if he was, remember he can’t help his personality.”

“Sect Leader Jiang was fine.” This time. “He gave me a lot to think about.”

“Oh no, he didn’t tell you embarrassing childhood stories or something, did he? He really will do anything to bother me…”

“He did not, but I’ll be sure to ask next time.”

Wei Wuxian laughed. “I don’t know why people don’t believe you’re funny. They never believe me about you! Nobody believed me back then when I told them you liked me, either. Everyone thought I was annoying you and you were too polite to tell me off!”

“Maybe that would be amusing if their thoughts didn’t continue in that direction and ruin your life,” he replied, still bitter.

“My life doesn’t feel ruined right now,” Wei Wuxian said quietly. Lan Wangji looked up, surprised.

“I mean it!” Wei Wuxian insisted. “Sitting here with you is a miracle. Or the ridiculous machinations of a mastermind, but that doesn’t sound as good.” He got an eye-roll for his joke, which was typical. “I just keep thinking, what did I do to deserve this?” To deserve you, he tried to say, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. He hoped it got through, anyway.

“This is nothing compared to what you deserve,” Lan Wangji said, softly; Wei Wuxian had to move closer to hear him, and they were already pretty close. “I used to worry about the effects of the resentful energy on your mind, but you were always righteous.”

“Ha!” Wei Wuxian scoffed. “Lan Zhan, you know better than almost anyone that I had no idea what I was doing.” He was attuned enough to recognize the slight offense in Lan Wangji’s eyes at the “almost.” Seriously, once you could read his expressions, he was too cute.

“I guess I never told anybody this, huh?” he started. Lan Wangji’s face softened immediately. “Wen Qing and Wen Ning decided to turn themselves in because I had a breakdown after Jin Zixuan was killed. Nothing special, just ‘how do I know if I’m doing the right thing when all this bad stuff keeps happening because of me?’ that sort of thing.”

Lan Wangji immediately teared up as well, imagining it. He put his hand on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. “Wei Ying. That does not make it your fault.”

“I knew you’d say that,” Wei Wuxian said, quietly. He leaned into the touch and Lan Wangji, stiffly, awkwardly, adjusted so his arm was around him instead. Wei Wuxian pursed his lips to fight a smile.

“It would be hypocritical of me to tell you not to have regrets,” Lan Wangji said. 

“Lan Zhan, you don’t have to talk about that again if you don’t want to.” Wei Wuxian’s brain caught up with him after he saw the confusion on Lan Wangji’s face. “You might have mentioned it that night when you were drunk.”

Lan Wangji closed his eyes for a moment, embarrassed but not surprised. “I think about it a lot,” he admitted, when he opened them again.

“I didn’t tell you everything,” Wei Wuxian insisted. “And you still believed me when nobody else did. I can never thank you enough.”

“Wei Ying. There is no need.”

“Good, because it makes me really nervous. Lan Zhan, I don’t think I’ve ever been as comfortable with anyone as I am with you but you still make me nervous, all the time.”

“Hm,” Lan Wangji said. He reached for Wei Wuxian’s other wrist and guided his hand to his neck, so he could feel Lan Wangji’s pulse. It was racing and Wei Wuxian could hear the “me too” loud and clear. It also adjusted their positions so they were facing each other more fully.

“Wei Ying,” he said, somehow completely different than before. He let his hand slide across Wei Wuxian’s back, across his hair, until he could mirror the gentle hold Wei Wuxian had on the side of his neck, and he searched his face. “You know you’re welcome to stay with me as long as you want, right?”

His voice was steady, but Wei Wuxian could tell that it had been hard for him to ask. “Jiang Cheng gave you ‘a lot to think about,’ huh?” he said. Lan Wangji looked down at his lap, but Wei Wuxian brought his gaze back up by lifting his chin. “I do know that. How could I ever doubt it after what you did for me? I was just… restless. It was too hard to imagine staying in one place again after losing two homes so quickly.”

Lan Wangji hadn’t thought of it that way until now, that Wei Wuxian had lost the Burial Mounds and Lotus Pier one right after the other and to him, they both felt recent. He nodded his understanding. Jiang Wanyin (and Jin Ling) had been wrong about this, and the unspoken understanding between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had been as strong as he thought.

Wei Wuxian waved his hand dismissively in the very small amount of space between them. “Not that I’m saying you meant for Cloud Recesses to become my home, or anything! But you did say as long as I wanted.”

“It could be your home. If you want it to be,” Lan Wangji said, easily.

“Can you really just offer that? I’m still the Yiling Patriarch, and I have no ties to the Lan Clan. I mean officially,” he added quickly, when Lan Wangji looked a little hurt. 

“You could, if you wanted.” Lan Wangji still looked nervous; Wei Wuxian could still feel his quick pulse where he hadn’t taken his hand off his neck. He still didn’t move it, even when Lan Wangji needed both of his own hands to remove his forehead ribbon, and then held it out. Wei Wuxian frowned, uncertain, but held out his other hand as if to take it. His memory may have been bad, but he still got a clear flash of Lan Wangji’s voice telling him the only people allowed to touch someone else’s forehead ribbon. Instead of handing it over, though, he wrapped it around Wei Wuxian’s wrist and tied it, somehow managing to maintain eye contact the entire time. 

Wei Wuxian swallowed hard. He wanted to ask if this meant what he thought it did, but he knew, so instead he said, “Are you sure?” Lan Wangji used his grip around his own forehead ribbon on Wei Wuxian’s wrist to bring his other hand up, and Wei Wuxian thought, in quick succession, I’ve got you right where I want you and oh, that’s exactly what you’re trying to tell me before the mental dam he’d built to stop all thoughts of kissing Lan Wangji burst and he closed the distance between their lips.

Lan Wangji gasped very softly, though Wei Wuxian couldn’t imagine why he would be surprised, before he adjusted to fit their mouths together perfectly. Wei Wuxian pulled back to look at him, to check that everything was good, and saw more hunger in his eyes than he expected, so he leaned into it, literally. He kissed Lan Wangji again, teasing his lips with his tongue to get him distracted and off-balance, and after a few really good minutes of being distracted himself, gently nudged until Lan Wangji was lying on his back instead with Wei Wuxian over him.

This time he really had to check and be careful, considering that they were in a private dining area in Lotus Pier instead of somewhere actually private, so after he was properly situated on hands and knees above Lan Wangji he searched his face one more time, teasingly raising his eyebrows. Lan Wangji just tugged him forward by the collar of his robes, so Wei Wuxian dropped to his elbows and went with it, kissing him again, deeper this time, and with their bodies lined up. He was really getting into it and using his last remaining higher level brain function to remember that they probably had a lot to talk about in terms of the future and wonder if that meant that he should stop now, while he still had the self-control, or if that could be a discussion for later.

The decision was made for him by the very characteristically loud return of Jiang Wanyin, who managed to slide the doors open with enough commotion that they were pulling apart even before he yelled, “Come on! Really?”

Wei Wuxian moved off of Lan Wangji and arranged himself into his usual parody of a seated position, putting himself somewhat between the two men, in case they didn’t necessarily want to look at each other at this exact moment.

“Jiang Cheng, you’re back!” he said, unnecessarily. “Did you have something to say?”

“Wei Wuxian!” he gritted out. “I was going to tell you that your old rooms would be ready for you if you wanted them, but I guess you two don’t need separate rooms after all.”

Wei Wuxian snorted, delighted that they were back to teasing already, which probably meant that he wasn’t actually mad. “You’re having a lot of important guests. I’m sure if you need the guest room space, Lan Zhan wouldn’t mind moving to my room.”

“Shouldn’t you ask him first?” Jiang Wanyin snapped, and Wei Wuxian loved being able to have him so off-guard as to be childish in front of the Chief Cultivator. The man in question had sat up in his normal, proper posture while Wei Wuxian wasn’t looking at him, but made no further moves towards respectability. Wei Wuxian glanced over at him, at his bare face, and rubbed his fingers over the ribbon around his wrist, which drew Jiang Wanyin’s attention.

“I would be happy to stay with Wei Ying,” he said, stopping whatever comment Jiang Wanyin was going to make in its tracks.

“Of course you would,” Jiang Wanyin mumbled. “Well, the room is ready in either case. I can have someone move your belongings out of the guest area.”

“Thank you, Sect Leader Jiang.”

“Yeah, thanks Jiang Cheng!”

“Thank me by never making me see anything like this ever again,” he said, leaving again.

“He’s still leaving without saying goodbye,” Wei Wuxian pointed out, as Lan Wangji stood up and pulled him to his feet, too. Then they were standing and facing each other and somehow that eye contact felt more intimate than everything they’d just been doing, and Wei Wuxian was nervous again, especially when Lan Wangji leaned in and kissed him, gentler than before.

It took him a long time to remember that he had to be the one to lead them to the correct room.

Since they’d calmed down by the time that they arrived, taking the long way as Wei Wuxian realized he had the opportunity to give a little bit of a tour, it quickly became apparent that they should have a talk before anything else happened between them.

They were on the same page, as usual. Lan Wangji sat with enough room next to him for Wei Wuxian to join, if he wanted. As usual, he was nervous to have a serious, emotional conversation with Lan Wangji; he sort of wanted to stand outside in the snow again while Lan Wangji played music so that Wei Wuxian could pretend not to know that Lan Wangji was hearing his every word. He fought that instinct though, and sat in the offered space, probably a lot closer than necessary. Though that felt really natural, and he realized they’d always been like that around each other. How had the rest of the cultivation world not spread even more rumors about them than there already were? 

That wasn’t the point. 

“Wei Ying. Are you sure?” Lan Wangji asked.

“Are you sure? I mean, if I’m even right about what you’re asking.” Wei Wuxian’s mouth ran off without him, as usual, asking what he was afraid to ask and desperately wanted to know. “Because I love you, Lan Zhan, and I never want to leave you,” he added, before he even gave Lan Wangji a chance to speak.

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said.

“Yes? What does that mean?” Wei Wuxian thought he might have to admit that he was no longer merely nervous.

“I love you, Wei Ying, and want to be with you forever.”

“Oh, good, that is what you meant. This would have been really awkward, otherwise. Please don’t say it’s awkward, anyway!” he added, when Lan Wangji looked like he was about to speak.

“No,” Lan Wangji said. “Marry me. Live with me at Cloud Recesses. Leave when you need to, and I will join when you want me to. That is what I want.”

Tears sprang to Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “Marry you? Don’t you think that’s a little fast?” He laughed at the offended expression on Lan Wangji’s face. “You’re right; it’s the perfect time. Yes, of course, yes. That’s what I want, too. Let’s do that.”

That got him perhaps the brightest joy he’d ever seen on Lan Wangji’s face, and another soft kiss. When they pulled away, he could see Lan Wangji was crying a little, too, and he wiped at the tears with his thumbs.

“Great,” Wei Wuxian laughed, wetly. “Where were we?”

Even though he was clearly feeling just as emotional, Lan Wangji pushed him onto the bed and climbed over him, and that was definitely not where they left off, but Wei Wuxian couldn’t find it in himself to care at all.

After the marriage, Wei Wuxian settled into the Cloud Recesses faster than anyone else might have expected him to, given his history with the place and its people. Of course, that was just as much of a reason for him to feel comfortable there as it was for him to not. He was used to it there. He even had a better knowledge of the rules than some of the disciples, though he still broke them more often. And he was less familiar with the new ones. To be fair, Lan Wangji had developed a tendency to be more selective about which ones he followed, as well. 

The fact that he was such an enabler, that he could stand there watching Wei Wuxian blatantly disregard rules, prevented most others from calling him out, too.

Lan Sizhui was the only one brave enough to say it, and really only to Lan Jingyi, but it seemed like Lan Wangji actually liked Wei Wuxian’s shamelessness. Certainly with regards to public displays of affection, but he even seemed amused when the other man was loud or improper in other situations as well.

Of course when it came to matters of cultivation, including politics, safety, and instruction, Wei Wuxian was actually a pretty valuable asset to GusuLan. When it came to the general atmosphere of Cloud Recesses, he seemed to bring up the mood, as well. This was most noticeable in Lan Wangji, sure, but it also had a profound effect on Lan Xichen as he left his seclusion. Wei Wuxian had a way of pretending that it wasn’t weird to see him around, like it had been only five minutes since the last time they spoke, and eating dinner with him wasn’t a big deal. Even Lan Wangji couldn’t quite fake that level of normality.

After gaining a little bit of trust, Wei Wuxian was able to take certain groups of more experienced disciples out on night hunts by himself, without Lan Wangji when he was needed for political matters. Wei Wuxian liked to tease him in those moments, because they’d both rather be out there, but not too much because what Lan Wangji was doing was important, too.

Most of the time, though, they were inseparable. Wei Wuxian had kind of assumed it would be like this, but it was sometimes still astonishing that they didn’t really get tired of each other. At first he would check in to make sure Lan Wangji wasn’t annoyed with him being around all the time, until he realized the only thing that was annoying was him constantly asking if it was annoying. 

And ultimately, they both felt a strong desire to protect the world, to teach the next generation, and to do what was right. Sometimes Wei Wuxian thought about how easy it would be to spend all their time together, happy and in love and peaceful, and it really was a path that he could imagine. And then reality came flooding back in, because the world would always be complicated and they would always be happiest when they were actually contributing to and participating in it. 

So they went on night hunts together whenever they could, and on this one in particular they were allowing Lan Sizhui to be a little selfish, and allowing themselves some of that same selfishness, since this looked poised to be a longer task, and Lan Xichen would have to handle a lot at Cloud Recesses while they were gone.

Lan Sizhui’s purported selfishness was in the selection of the group, which this time was just going to be him, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen and Jin Ling, whom Lan Wangji had invited very formally, telling Wei Wuxian he was keeping a promise to Jiang Wanyin. Ultimately, they were sort of a dream team, in Wei Wuxian’s opinion.

Smaller villages didn’t always really understand who Jin Ling was, or even Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji. They certainly didn’t realize the powerhouse team that was there to help them defeat what was rumored to be a forest demon infecting regular citizens. It was probably for the best; they were already staying away from the forest and knowing how dangerous things were would just stress them out. And they didn’t need any bigger drama when they were bringing the juniors in.

During the information gathering process, the juniors had been talking with two local girls around their age, which was probably why there was so much performative teasing going on, and one of the girls told Jin Ling that all the stories were adding up to one thing about him.

“What? I’m not a crybaby, jeez,” Jin Ling told the girl. “Tell her,” he said, looking at Wei Wuxian.

Normally he was a big fan of teasing his nephew, of course, but not during formative situations. Which this sort of felt like. “I’ve definitely never seen him cry embarrassingly, unless you like sensitive guys, in which case I may have seen him shed one manly tear during an incredibly touching moment.” It was cute that Jin Ling thought having someone much older and weirder than him defending him would actually matter.

The girl laughed at his antics, though, and went a little red. Lan Wangji noticed this and dragged him just out of earshot almost immediately, to the front of the inn where they would be staying. “Charming the young lady your nephew is talking to will hardly endear you to him,” he told Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian sat down, or rather threw himself into a sprawl. “What? That was just me trying to sidestep having to lie while still making sure Jin Ling looked good and being funny at the same time! That’s my general conversation style.”

Lan Wangji gave up on towering over his sitting husband quickly and joined him on the steps. “Well, it’s very charming.”

“Is it working on you, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Yes,” he replied, shamelessly, tugging Wei Wuxian to lean on him. Of course, due to his personality, he had to sit perfectly upright--and Wei Wuxian thought it was amazing he’d decided to sit at all; he must have been tired--but it was fine for Wei Wuxian to be in his usual reclined position. They locked eyes; Wei Wuxian smiled big and Lan Wangji’s smile was smaller but endlessly more surprising, making everyone around feel like they’d walked in on something they shouldn’t have seen, even the girls who didn’t know them.

Of course the supposed demon only came out at night, so they had a lot of time to mess around, but eventually they did have to plan, sitting in the juniors’ room. Jin Ling could have afforded his own room, and it probably would have looked strange if someone who knew him was around to notice, but he’d insisted it was fine to share, in a tone of voice that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had a really easy time empathizing with and recognizing as loneliness.

The night hunt shouldn’t have been risky, but there were always unanticipated complications, and it was harder with juniors there. With Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian they had maybe the previous generation’s best and most self-sacrificing, protective cultivators. Which meant it was way riskier for the two of them than it would have been if they were alone.

Of course, this specific group also tended to attract more trouble than statistically likely. So everything went to hell fairly quickly.

Their intel was bad, and it was not a forest demon, though they had figured that out quickly. However, it also wasn’t a rogue demonic cultivator as they had been afraid to suspect, or at least not anymore. It seemed that somehow, someone had managed to take control of a lot of puppets, and then had been killed by them, and was no longer in control. So they were dealing with rogue puppets, and there was nobody to take out quickly and efficiently to end the whole debacle. Honestly, it was a miracle they even stayed in the forest.

Everyone else was supposed to be the distraction, while Wei Wuxian was getting the puppets under his control instead, his eyes closed and concentrating. Lan Wangji was keeping everyone away from him, and then Jin Ling had looked away for a second too long and let one of them get too close to him, with a weapon. Lan Wangji should have been way too far away but suddenly he was between the puppet and Jin Ling with a sword plunged a few inches into his side. Considering where the original aim had been, he must have done a good job of deflecting it in a tiny amount of time, but he wasn’t quite fast enough. With the chaos and the speed at which everything was happening, Jin Ling couldn’t believe that he’d even noticed.

Just as unlikely and just as immediately, Wei Wuxian was there, kicking the puppet away before returning to his flute. He kept his eyes open this time, and there was a frightening power in them. Sizhui was there, too, helping Lan Wangji to the ground and putting pressure on his wound, so Jin Ling took over the job of keeping the puppets away from Wei Wuxian, trying to stop thinking and start acting. It hardly mattered, because Wei Wuxian was done quickly, the energy around him shifting at an accelerated and terrifying rate. As soon as the puppets were in his control he took it away and they all collapsed on the spot. 

Jin Ling couldn’t quite explain it, but in the split second before that, they’d had a weird, dark energy, like they were ready to kneel to Wei Wuxian and call him “master.” He always forgot how powerful Wei Wuxian really was, and that, even though he wasn’t evil, people had legitimate reason to fear him.

Lan Sizhui was already helping Lan Wangji up and Wei Wuxian got around to his other side, and they retreated, everyone else following.

When they got back to the inn, Wei Wuxian took Lan Wangji to their shared room, and Jin Ling returned with Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and Ouyang Zizhen. When they were all in the room Jin Ling changed his mind and pulled Lan Sizhui outside.

The only way he could explain why he was thinking about this right at this time was that his emotions were brought closer to the surface, and he wanted to distract himself from what had just happened. Plus, he was thinking about Wei Wuxian too much again.

“Back then… I’m sorry I was weird when you and Wen Ning were reconnecting.”

He didn’t want to be like his uncle and push everyone away by being afraid to tell people anything--because his uncle had very specifically warned him against it.

“You don’t have to apologize to me,” Lan Sizhui said, when he recovered from the surprise. “It’s kind of nice that you wanted to protect me. And Wen Ning understands. Though he’d probably be really happy if you apologized to him. Or really awkward.”

Jin Ling sat down, exhausted, glad to be that they were in a relatively private part of the town, and it was late enough that nobody was out. “I can’t believe I’m a sect leader who regularly spends time with the Yiling Patriarch and the Ghost General, and my friends are a bunch of weirdos.”

Lan Sizhui scoffed. “Speak for yourself.”

“Before all of this, I was sad, but things seemed pretty normal… I can’t believe how much it all changed in one day,” Jin Ling said, like he couldn’t keep it in. “That’s not true, is it. Jin Guangyao was already bad and Wei Wuxian was already good and he had already…” He broke off. “You don’t know, do you?” he realized. Enough people had heard about Wei Wuxian’s golden core that maybe Lan Sizhui did know, but he was still looking pretty confused. “And I don’t… I don’t want to have to be the one to tell you.” He teared up. It wasn’t as embarrassing as back then, with Wen Ning and everyone else around, but crying still made him feel ashamed which still made him want to cry more.

Immediately Lan Sizhui looked alarmed and sat down next to him. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“You probably don’t want to know,” Jin Ling said. “I won’t tell you, but if you ever start hearing really terrible rumors about Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng or it seems like everyone else knows something you don’t, and nobody else will tell you, just ask me, OK?”

Of course, there were starting to be rumors about that day already, especially in the Jin Sect, but Hanguang-Jun and Zewu-Jun were unlikely to be spreading them around Cloud Recesses, so maybe Sizhui hadn’t heard yet.

“Thank you,” Lan Sizhui said, sincerely. “You don’t have to tell me anything though. But if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

He thought back to that day, glad for the gift he had just been given: a chance to get it out of his head and into the open. “Before you got there, they had Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian, so Hanguang-Jun wasn’t going to do anything. He was cooperating. And they only had Wei Wuxian because of me, because he warned me to run, but I still got caught anyway,” he said, through gritted teeth. “Fairy got away so Jiang Cheng came to save us and, um, Jin Guangyao made him mad by talking about the… thing that I’m not telling you about. I still can’t believe it, and obviously I can’t talk about it with Jiang Cheng. Well, not obviously to you. Sorry,” he wiped his eyes. “I’ll stop talking about it. Then even Lan Xichen didn’t trust Jin Guangyao anymore, so he took me hostage, and that’s when you and Wen Ning showed up. I couldn’t believe it when Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun immediately used the distraction to save me. I didn’t think they were paying that much attention or cared that much, especially Hanguang-Jun. And then he went and saved me again today! While he was supposed to be protecting Wei Wuxian.”

“Hanguang-Jun will always be trying to save people,” Lan Sizhui said. “And he and Wei Wuxian will always be paying attention and ready to move. They’re just like that. But I think he had extra motivation to save you because you’re Wei Wuxian’s nephew and, well, you know how they are together.”

“Yeah, gross. But it was pretty impressive,” Jin Ling admitted. “Both times. Well, today they were both extra scary. It’s like I forget what they can do, sometimes. And last time, at Guanyin Temple, they were so in sync. They didn’t signal or anything, but they didn’t get in each other’s way. Even though one of them would have been enough. It’s like I was double-saved. And it was really terrifying because I was right there when Hanguang-Jun cut off his arm! And stupid Wei Wuxian just threw himself in the middle of everything to get me out…”

“You sound like you’re mad at him,” Lan Sizhui said quietly.

“I am mad at him! I should hate him for everything he’s done. But it turned out that none of it was really his fault and he didn’t get my parents killed and he only ever wanted to protect people and what he did for my uncle…” Jin Ling was full-on crying again, how could he help it? “I’m so mad at him because now what am I supposed to do, who am I supposed to hate?”

Lan Sizhui suddenly felt a twisted sense of survivor’s guilt, because he knew what it felt like to have your world turned upside down at Jin Ling’s age, except for him it was the best feeling he could have imagined, learning about his history, even the tragedy, because of Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning.

But he couldn’t say that. “If you ever really want to make him uncomfortable to punish him, you can thank him very sincerely for everything he’s done for you,” Lan Sizhui suggested. “There’s nothing he hates more than that. You could hug him, too. I don’t think he’d hate that part, but he gives really good hugs.”

“I hardly think a sect leader is supposed to go around hugging people,” Jin Ling sniffed.

“Don’t tell Hanguang-Jun, but I think some rules and customs may be overrated.”

“What do you mean, don’t tell him? He’s probably broken more rules than I have,” Jin Ling said, fairly. 

Lan Sizhui smiled. “Maybe.” Jin Ling stared at him for a few moments, and then sighed dramatically, knowing he might be about to remove that happy expression.

“I still don’t want to tell you,” he said, “And you still don’t want to know. But it’ll be worse if you hear it wrong, from someone else. So… do you want to know what they said?”

Lan Sizhui met his eyes, his gaze suddenly fierce. “Yes,” he said, like he’d been hoping for this. “Tell me.”

Jin Ling told him, through his own tears, and Lan Sizhui joined in before he really understood the full scope of what was being said--not only how incredibly massive, seemingly impossible, and selfless Wei Wuxian’s actions were, but how that slotted in place with the rest of their entire story and made everything else way worse. For a while, they sat with those thoughts in silence.

Sooner than they would have liked, Wei Wuxian was approaching them from his room in the inn. Lan Sizhui managed to pull himself together enough to speak. “I’ll let you talk to him alone.”

Jin Ling did kind of want that, but he didn’t think he had it in him to make the first move to make it happen, even the first words of the conversation they might have alone. “Don’t you want to talk to him alone?” he asked, instead.

“Not yet,” Lan Sizhui whispered. “I can’t.” Jin Ling understood. In fact, it seemed he couldn’t even look at Wei Wuxian. Jin Ling knew the feeling.

Lan Sizhui threw his arms around Wei Wuxian, like he was pointedly demonstrating a hug to Jin Ling, and then walked into Lan Wangji’s room.

Wei Wuxian looked like he had no idea what to do in this situation, which was fair. Jin Ling didn’t either. “Sit down,” Jin Ling suggested, or tried to suggest and maybe ordered.

Wei Wuxian sat down after a beat, leaning back on his elbows.  He gave Jin Ling a few seconds in case he wanted to start talking, and then seemed to realize he was going to have to drag it out of him. 

“Did A-Yuan leave because you wanted to talk to me?” he asked, to start off easy.

“He left because he thought I wanted to talk to you,” Jin Ling answered, contrary as usual. “He thinks I’m mad at you because you let me think you did all these terrible things when it was really my uncle. Jin Guangyao, I mean.”

“Well, not that he’s right, but in my defense, I also thought I did a lot more terrible things than I actually did,” Wei Wuxian pointed out. He made it sound almost like a joke, even though it must have been really painful for him to talk about. At least, Jin Ling assumed.

“I want you to tell me what happened,” Jin Ling said, forcefully. He didn’t remember giving his mouth permission to say those words.

Wei Wuxian sat up straighter and gave him a serious, searching look that made him want to squirm; it really felt like he could see right through him. “Are you sure?”

No. “Yes.”

He waited longer, like he wanted to offer the maximum amount of time for Jin Ling to change his mind, but he wasn’t going to back down.

“You want my whole story?” he prompted, just to be sure. “Or just the parts related to you?”

Jin Ling had only wanted the parts related to him until that exact moment. “Actually,” he said. “Start at the beginning.”

He realized, with horror, that Wei Wuxian looked pretty close to tears himself. He was about to take back the request, but Wei Wuxian shook his head. “I’m fine. I just haven’t thought about everything in a long time. You’re sure you want the whole history of the Yiling Patriarch?”

“Just tell me or don’t already!” he said. 

Wei Wuxian smiled, and somehow seemed calmer after that. “The truth is, it probably all started when we went for training at Cloud Recesses. Your father kicked us out of our inn and we forgot our invitation, so they wouldn’t let us in for the training! I had to go through so much to get us all in, and then Lan Zhan was a total jerk about the whole thing…”

Of course, during this story, Jin Ling perked up at the mention of either of his parents. How kind his mom sounded in Wei Wuxian’s perspective, and how frustrating his dad seemed. And then, surprisingly, how strong his mom was in defending her brother, and how embarrassing his dad was trying to win over Jiang Yanli. Somehow, he hadn’t even known that they’d broken off an arrangement only to marry anyway. Their story was so stupid, and he loved it.

But Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s love story was sort of in there, too. If Jin Ling didn’t know them now, it’d be hard to believe all the things they achieved together, including the cave with the tortoise, or how hard they fought for each other against the Wen sect when they didn’t know each other that well, but even seeing the spark and devotion between them now made it possible to imagine their feelings back then. He was finally able to understand what his uncle was complaining about when he talked about how Wei Wuxian acted around the Great Hanguang-Jun, as he insisted on calling him.

The complicated relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin was there, too, though it seemed to have a lot more love back then.

“Everything was bad when our clans were basically being held hostage by the Wens, of course. That’s probably when it really started. I know… your uncle used to say it was my fault that the Wens took Lotus Pier, because I pissed them off sticking up for Lan Zhan, but what was I supposed to do? So they killed your grandparents and captured your uncle and Wen Ning managed to get him out and back to us. And… I guess you heard this part at the Guanyin Temple, didn’t you? So they’d taken Jiang Cheng’s core, and I did a lot of research and convinced Wen Qing, who was an amazing doctor, to give him mine. She and Wen Ning helped me trick him so he wouldn’t know what I did, though Wen Ning eventually ruined that by telling people, and your uncle did a bad job keeping it secret after that...”

Jin Ling rolled his eyes. How was someone supposed to keep quiet after finding that out?

He noticed, too, that Wei Wuxian was able to talk about the loss of his own golden core without getting really emotional. Hell, Jin Ling was way more emotional about it right now.

“I was still weak from that when Wen Chao caught me and dropped me in the Burial Mounds to die. But I managed to survive, and figure out a new type of cultivation. Then I… took out Wen Chao, and your uncle and Lan Zhan found me. They were worried I had too much resentful energy. Well, I guess I did act pretty weird at the time, but we were able to take down Wen Ruohan. Are you sure you want to hear the next part?”

Jin Ling just glared at him. He was realizing that this was the start of the origin story of the infamous Yiling Patriarch, and that was terrifying, too. But he also wanted the full story more than he’d realized while trying to ignore his past all these years. He wondered how many people knew this as well as he would.

“Right. Well some of the more ambitious Jin sect members were using this situation for evil, and killing innocent Wen people. But also they were trying to make your parents reconsider their marriage arrangement, but that didn’t work. And I found Wen Qing, and she wanted help finding her brother, but by the time I got there, he was among the dead, and not many were alive. Well, A-Yuan was one of them, as you know now. And I turned Wen Ning into a fierce corpse. He wasn’t really dead, though. It’s complicated. And then Lan Zhan was there to stop me but he let me go with the Wen members instead, and he got in a lot of trouble for that later. And the fact that he stood up for me after. Of course he didn’t tell me about that; Zewu-Jun did.”

Jin Ling looked so overwhelmed that Wei Wuxian stopped. He couldn’t blame the kid, of course. It was a lot to take in. “Yes, I’m sure I want to hear the next part.”

“That’s when Jiang Cheng visited, and I told him I’d leave the Jiang sect so they weren’t responsible for me anymore. I’m told this is when your parents got together, though! So that’s good! Actually Lan Zhan is the one who told me the marriage was back on, which is weird. He’s not the gossiping type. I bet he felt weird about it. He visited the Burial Mounds too, and met A-Yuan. It was pretty funny to see him with a kid and talking about marriage and everything.”

Wei Wuxian paused, and Jin Ling realized all at once that it wasn’t just that he thought Jin Ling couldn’t handle it, but that he didn’t want to talk about it. “Um. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Wei Wuxian looked a little shocked that Jin Ling was trying to be nice to him. “It’s fine. Unless you changed your mind?” Jin Ling shook his head.

“Things seemed good then, but of course it was really fragile. I thought I was finally going to be allowed to see my family, but it was all a trap set by Jin Guangyao. Are you sure?”

“Yes, please, nobody else will give me the full story.”

Wei Wuxian took a deep, shaky breath. “So Jin Zixun and a bunch of others ambushed me, but they weren’t a match for Wen Ning. That’s when your father showed up to try to break up the fight. He wanted me to be able to visit peacefully. I didn’t know this at the time, but someone else was controlling Wen Ning, and that’s when he… when your dad was killed.” 

“Why were you invited?” he asked, suddenly.

“Like I said, Jin Guangyao orchestrated it.” But there was something shifty about the way Wei Wuxian said it.

But Jin Ling remembered that everyone said his dad died on the day of his one month celebration. “Oh,” he said.

“It wasn’t your fault. You were a baby. Very cute, back then, I don’t know what happened.” Of course Wei Wuxian still had jokes even when he was crying a little, and it made Jin Ling feel incredibly awkward, even as the tears streamed down his own face. He didn’t even know what to do in regular social situations; this was too much. Luckily, Wei Wuxian seemed to have low expectations. “Of course, I was horrified, and I went back and cried to Wen Qing and Wen Ning about how wrong my decisions were. Which was also a mistake, because Wen Qing knocked me out and they went to turn themselves in to try to save my life.”

“That was never going to work,” Jin Ling said, because he’d been paying attention to the story along the way, and because he probably knew better than anyone else his age how the Jin sect was back then, since he had to deal with all the remaining issues now.

“No,” Wei Wuxian agreed. “When they were holding their celebration, I showed up and tried to defend myself, but they all just wanted to capture me and get their hands on the Stygian Tiger Seal I’d been using. Your mom tried to enter that battle to calm me down and save me. That’s when someone else was controlling the puppets and tried to have one of them kill me and your mother stepped in and died in my place. You see why I still think it was my fault? I caused the battle and she was there for me and she died for me. So please, you can hate me, I deserve it. Jiang Cheng still hates me and I used to hate me and you can, too.”

Jin Ling was in shock for a long time. Finally, he shook his head. “I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. And I don’t think Uncle can, either.” He was still processing, but hearing the story from Wei Wuxian made it impossible to hate him and way too easy to understand why he did everything he did and, like everything else he learned about the man, simultaneously easier to be afraid of him or to empathize with him. Every contest or battle he’d won sounded extraordinary, the skills he taught himself were unprecedented, and his pain was immense. He was sure the tragedy would hit him later, but right now he was numb and just wanted to get all the facts.

“Your mother’s death was the last straw for me. I thought I must be a terrible person who had gotten almost his whole family killed, and I tried to jump off a cliff. Um, if you ever feel as bad as I did back then, please don’t jump off a cliff. It doesn’t solve any problems.”

“You jumped? I heard Uncle killed you,” Jin Ling whispered.

“Of course you did. I did jump, but Lan Zhan caught me. Even after everything, he wanted to save me. I told him to let go but of course he didn’t, and then Jiang Cheng came up and swung his sword around but never actually hit me or Lan Zhan, but I forced him to let go. And then sixteen years later I woke up in a weird room and of course as soon as I escaped I ran into you and Lan Zhan and A-Yuan, though I didn’t know who you all were at the time, and really you know the rest of the story from there.”

Wei Wuxian had mostly pulled himself together at that point, but everything was really starting to hit Jin Ling until Lan Sizhui’s voice reappeared in his head and he followed his advice, leaning against Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. He was clearly shocked to get any sort of physical contact after a story where he saw himself as the villain, but he reacted pretty quickly with his arms around Jin Ling, who had to admit that his hugs were OK.

Then he realized that Wei Wuxian was crying again, and he looked up. “Sorry. Oh, saying that is getting easier. It’s just, I never expected you to hear all that and be able to be around me again. I was really nervous.”

“You were afraid of me?” Jin Ling asked skeptically.

“Well it sounds silly when you put it like that,” Wei Wuxian said. “I mean it. I’m sorry, and thank you.”

“What are you saying all of a sudden?” Jin Ling hissed. Wei Wuxian laughed at him. Then he remembered the rest of what Lan Sizhui had said, and if Wei Wuxian was even half as embarrassed at being thanked or apologized to as Jin Ling was, it was worth a try. “Thank you for saving me in Guanyin Temple.”

Wei Wuxian cringed. “Don’t say things like that. It was nothing. Shut up. Forget it.”

Oh, this was going to be fun. Lan Sizhui really knew what he was talking about. But Wei Wuxian was still always able to catch him off guard.

“You’re a lot like your parents,” Wei Wuxian said. “You got the best parts of both of them. And some of the bad parts of Jiang Cheng,” he added.

Jin Ling tried to pretend that wasn’t the best thing anyone had ever told him, and failed.

Since they had both been properly mortified and cried out, they put a little space between themselves again.

“Do you need to get back to your room?” Jin Ling asked.

“I think Sizhui needs to be in there more than I do, right now. Something seems up with him.”

“Oh, um, I told him about your core. I’m sorry?” Jin Ling said. His apology came out a little defensively. 

“Maybe it means I won’t have to,” Wei Wuxian said, sounding relieved more than anything else. “You’re the only person I’ve actually told, since Wen Ning told Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng. And Jin Guangyao told everyone else.”

“You never talked about it with Hanguang-Jun?”

“There’s a lot that Lan Zhan and I don’t need to talk about anymore.”

Jin Ling tried to keep himself from saying anything stupid, and then failed. “Isn’t it weird to be married to Hanguang-Jun?” Oh, great, so the mood was ruined.

But Wei Wuxian laughed. “Oh yeah, it’s super weird.”

“I thought you were going to say it wasn’t weird and it was just amazing or something gross like that.”

“It is amazing. Lan Zhan is amazing. I like him so much and I’m lucky he likes me back.”

“Gross,” Jin Ling said.

“You started it,” Wei Wuxian replied cheerfully. “But you’re right. It’s weird. I never imagined I’d defect from the Jiang sect and marry into the Lan sect and call Cloud Recesses my home, especially after me being an idiot in Cloud Recesses and breaking all the rules and constantly trying to get a rise out of Lan Zhan. And him having a reputation for always being calm and righteous and uncorrupted. So yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know why it looks weird to people. And sometimes even to me. But it’s the best.”

“Still gross,” Jin Ling said, even though it sounded really nice. 

Wei Wuxian smiled like he knew Jin Ling didn’t mean it.

Lan Sizhui spoke from behind them. “He’s still asleep,” he told Wei Wuxian, who didn’t jump. Jin Ling did. He wondered if Wei Wuxian had known he was there, had better senses than Jin Ling even when he was exhausted and emotional.

“I guess I’ll go check on him. You coming?” he asked Jin Ling.

“Why would I come?” he said, defensively.

“It just seemed like you were worried about Lan Zhan.”

Jin Ling grumbled, and followed. Lan Sizhui went back to the room with the other juniors.

Against all odds, Jin Ling managed to convince Wei Wuxian to get some rest by promising to watch over Lan Wangji instead. It was apparent that earlier, when Jin Ling was talking to Lan Sizhui, Wei Wuxian had gotten him into bed and removed several uncomfortable layers of his clothing, along with his headpiece.

“Are you sure you can watch him?” Wei Wuxian asked. “You could barely look him in the eye earlier.”

“Well that’s not going to be a problem, is it? I can watch him sleep just as well as you can.”

“Rude. I’ll have you know I’m great at watching Lan Zhan sleep.”

“Still gross,” Jin Ling said. “I’ll wake you up if-when he wakes up.”

Wei Wuxian just looked at him fondly for a few moments until he squirmed, then went over to the bed on the other side of the room. It looked like it hadn’t been used the previous night. The beds were big enough for two people if they slept very close, Jin Ling supposed, the kind of close that might be a bad idea if one party was injured. Still, a part of him wondered if he hadn’t interfered, if Wei Wuxian would have just gotten in with Lan Wangji anyway, or slept on the floor by him or something.

The thought made him feel weirdly guilty, and a little lonely. Sure he had people who would jump in front of an attack for him, but who would sit at his bedside and wake up with terrible back pain just to make sure he wasn’t alone?

Wei Wuxian would, the voice in his head told him. He would jump in front of danger or just hang out with him, or tell him a really traumatic story just because he really needed to know. His uncle, too, though he would pretend he wasn’t being nice. Maybe even some of his friends, he hoped.

But even after talking to Lan Sizhui and Wei Wuxian he would never understand thoughtlessly risking your life for your husband’s nephew, or wanting to spend all your time at someone’s side and never getting tired of them. 

Jin Ling’s eyes drifted to Lan Wangji again, even though he was trying not to look at him. He looked wrong with his hair down, no forehead ribbon.

The weight of what Wei Wuxian had told him was still pressing on him. Maybe he’d spent too much time with the man and had his life saved by him too often, but it was hard to see him as the villain in the story anymore. Maybe he wasn’t quite the victim, either, but Jin Ling was just ultimately sad for almost everyone involved. For Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin, for his parents and even for Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen now that he had a little knowledge of what it was like for them, too. He felt for the Wens, which he never expected to. There was barely any room to feel sorry for himself.

“How are you feeling?” Lan Wangji asked, suddenly, breaking Jin Ling out of his thoughts by waking up way earlier than he should have been able to after the injury he sustained.

“I should be asking you that. I am asking you that. How are you feeling?” Jin Ling stammered out, as he tried to get his heart rate back to normal.

Lan Wangji waited.

“I’m fine,” Jin Ling said.

“I am also fine,” Lan Wangji said, with a barely perceptible smile. He looked around the room.

“Wei Wuxian is in that bed,” Jin Ling said, pointing, correctly interpreting Lan Wangji’s actions. “I told him he needed rest, too. But he’s fine! Everyone else is in our room. Also fine.”

Lan Wangji seemed to relax at that. Except for the exhaustion and slight wincing as he sat up, he really did look fine, like he wasn’t lying just to make Jin Ling feel better.

“Wei Ying got there in time,” Lan Wangji said, appearing to read his mind, as usual.

“If he hadn’t…” Jin Ling didn’t know how to finish that. “Why would you… for me? Sizhui said you’re just like that, that you’d risk your life for anyone who needed you. But he also said especially for me, because I’m important to Wei Wuxian.”

“Hm,” Lan Wangji said. It sounded a little like a confirmation and a consideration. 

Jin Ling was tired of talking to people, and Lan Wangji was pretty much the hardest person to talk to he knew. His face might have expressed that a little, because Lan Wangji continued. “He is right. I do want to protect everyone, but I was especially worried about you as my husband’s nephew.”

“Doesn’t that make me your nephew?” Jin Ling asked, and thought about how he really needed to get a better handle on his words.

“If you like,” Lan Wangji said. Like people got to choose that sort of thing.

Jin Ling did like the idea, but he didn’t know how to say that.

“Wei Wuxian told me a lot about his history with you, and it made me remember… you were crying too, when m-when Jin Guangyao was trying to make my uncle mad by talking about Wei Wuxian’s core.”

Lan Wangji fought a wince. He hadn’t thought anybody had noticed that. Especially Jin Ling, who at the time was being given a lot of information someone his age shouldn’t have to deal with.

“I knew,” he said, since it wasn’t a question. “I was there when Wen Ning told your uncle in Lotus Pier.”

Jin Ling nodded, since he knew that. “But it still really affected you.”

Although it was subtle, Jin Ling had the sense that Lan Wangji was pulling himself together and gathering strength just to speak; it was in his eyes. Maybe most people didn’t notice his actual expressions because they were too intimidated to pay enough attention.

“Wei Ying and I got into a swordfight soon after we met,” he started, and there was a pained nostalgia in it, bittersweet. It was like as soon as you noticed Lan Wangji’s expressions, his emotions were right there on the surface. Jin Ling almost wanted his ignorance back. But maybe Lan Wangji was just getting more comfortable with him. Or suffering from the blood loss. “He was the first person to keep up with me in a long time. And then during the lessons he was so smart, even back then, and creative. We may have been evenly matched with swords, but I will still never think like he does. He was developing his own techniques already.” He paused, collecting himself again. “He was the best I’ve ever seen.”

Jin Ling hadn’t fully known the extent of Wei Wuxian’s skill back then, but to hear something like that from Hanguang-Jun was pretty meaningful. To hear that many words from him was, too. All he knew before was a series of vague references his uncle had made to the fact that everyone praised Wei Wuxian over him back in the day.

“So you think his potential was wasted?” Jin Ling guessed.

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said, “but it’s more than that. His talents seemed so natural it was like they were a part of him. And he gave that up without a second thought and only Wen Qing and Wen Ning knew what he did, until now. When we asked, he’d say he forgot his sword or didn’t feel like using it. Even after he came back to life and I gave it to him.”

That was really painful to hear, but it also reminded him. “I told Sizhui,” Jin Ling confessed. “So he wouldn’t hear about it from someone else.”

“Thank you,” Lan Wangji said. He looked at Wei Wuxian as he said it, but quickly looked back. “I’ll talk to him about it, too.”

Jin Ling was silent for a moment, processing. Wei Wuxian was really that good, and he gave it up for someone who resented him for his talents, and never told anyone? And then he found a new way to keep up his cultivation, and the world turned against him and people he cared about were killed and he took the blame. Jin Ling really thought he was getting a handle on this at Guanyin Temple that day, but the details made everything harder.

So he asked another question that he couldn’t hold back, the same personality flaw that had gotten him into this mess of a conversation in the first place. “Why would he do all that and keep it quiet?”

There was fondness in his eyes again when he answered. “I thought about the same question, when I learned everything. But the truth is, I knew. And I think you do, too.”

“You loved him back then,” Jin Ling breathed. He didn’t mean to say it, but the shock of the realization brought it out.

Lan Wangji’s eyes went to his quickly enough that Jin Ling could tell he was surprised, too. He probably just didn’t realize how obvious he was being.

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable,” Jin Ling backtracked. “It just seemed obvious.”

For some reason, that seemed to make Lan Wangji pleased, from what Jin Ling’s recent observations of his expressions told him, anyway. He was also going very slightly pink.

“It’s fine. I want it to be obvious.”

“Gross,” Jin Ling said, without thinking, but Lan Wangji just looked amused.

There was a sniffling coming from the other bed. If Jin Ling picked up on it, Lan Wangji had to have noticed. They looked at each other, and Jin Ling tried to shake off everything he was feeling, tried to get his breathing back under control.

“Wei Wuxian said he thinks your relationship is weird,” Jin Ling said, suddenly maybe too confident and too comfortable, and having the feeling that Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin (and Jiang Yanli) seemed to have had in their youth, a desire to stir something up.

“I suppose it is,” Lan Wangji agreed, and the slight smile was back.

“Trying to get me in trouble with Lan Zhan won’t work,” Wei Wuxian said smugly, without sitting up. “We have no secrets.”

“Maybe if I tell him how much you exhausted yourself getting us all out of there when he collapsed,” Jin Ling mumbled. Then he hesitated for a second, before getting up to help Wei Wuxian over to Lan Wangji’s bed instead, now that they were both awake. They carefully arranged themselves around each other, and Jin Ling fought to reconcile the powerful, frightening, deeply sad men in the stories he’d been hearing all night with the quiet couple in front of him.

“Thank you,” he said, as he was leaving. He didn’t say what for. As he closed the door, he could swear he heard his words echoed.

Once they were situated, he started to walk out of the room, ready to try to sneak back into his own room. 

Where, of course, everyone else was wide awake and hoping for details.

“They’re both fine,” he said, getting ready for bed but pleased at the attention. Looking at Sizhui made him realize it was weird that Jin Ling was the one with them instead of him, but Sizhui had always been uniquely empathetic, enough to know Jin Ling needed to talk to them. And maybe he really was still reeling from what he’d learned.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian spent most of the following day alone in their room, ostensibly recovering from injuries so they could travel the next day. Technically, the juniors could have all gone back on their own, and maybe even Jin Ling should have, since he was probably busy. But they stayed to help clean up, and Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian dragged themselves out so everyone could have dinner together.

Dinner after a hunt, in the midst of recovering, was always fraught with weird emotions; in this case it included Wei Wuxian drinking and everyone else watching him drink, apprehensively. Wondering if there was more to his look, Lan Sizhui looked over at Lan Wangji curiously. “You could have a drink if you really wanted. I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Nope!” Wei Wuxian said, way too loud for the tone of their conversation and right over whatever Lan Wangji was saying, which was hopefully also no. But still, “I mean you can. If you want to. I’m not your keeper. I’m just suggesting. Also, you did just lose a lot of blood.”

Everyone was, of course, staring at him, though the juniors took a second to look at Lan Wangji, too.

“You said I didn’t do anything bad,” Lan Wangji said.

“Not bad,” Wei Wuxian said, although Lan Wangji would definitely think it was bad. “Besides, you clearly didn’t believe me, so it didn’t count as lying. You should know I wouldn’t let you do anything really bad!”

Jin Ling put the pieces together first and looked between the two of them. “You’ve seen Hanguang-Jun drunk? You’ve gotten drunk?”

“Did you corrupt him, Wei Wuxian?” Lan Sizhui asked.

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian said immediately.

“No,” Lan Wangji said, clearly tired of being defended, then he paused to consider his next words. “It was... a bad decision. The time Wei Ying was talking about, and the other time. Though at least Xichen told me what I did the time he witnessed.”

“That one’s not a funny story,” Wei Wuxian mumbled, when it was clear the juniors were curious.

“Of course Xichen told you,” Lan Wangji sighed.

Wei Wuxian shrugged. “Look if it helps, I didn’t tell anyone what weird things you might or might not have done the other time, and if anything had happened it would have been way funnier than the other one, not that anything happened.”

“What’d he do, share embarrassing secrets? Go on a crime spree?” Lan Jingyi guessed. Lan Sizhui scoffed.

But Wei Wuxian looked delightedly evil. “I already know his embarrassing secrets. They were petty crimes if anything, and I put the chickens back. And if anyone sees the vandalism I’m sure they’ll just think it was me.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t even fully contain his shocked expression at that. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

Wei Wuxian grinned. “Please, you think that’s what you’d do? Not that, for example, I’d just tease you a lot with embarrassing questions until suddenly it got way too serious way too fast and I made you go to bed?”

“That does sound more likely…” Jin Ling said, but not like he believed it.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Wei Wuxian agreed.

“You really had us going for a second there,” Lan Sizhui said.

“I heard that you also got Hanguang-Jun drunk at the first training where you met!” Ouyang Zizhen said.

“Who told you that?” Wei Wuxian grumbled. “I feel really bad about it now. Making other people drink is terrible. I hope I’ve made up for that at least a little by not letting other people make you drink.”

Lan Wangji didn’t look particularly mad, but he was being quiet now that they had food. Jin Ling caught him eyeing Wei Wuxian’s drink contemplatively, but he thought it was better not to draw attention to that.

When they were back in their room, Lan Wangji whirled around on Wei Wuxian. “The theft and vandalism were true, weren’t they?”

Wei Wuxian laughed, wondering what flashes of memories or deeply hidden thoughts in Lan Wangji’s mind might lead him to think these were possibilities. “You were so exhausting,” he said, still not answering, but Lan Wangji took it as a confirmation, putting his head in his hands. “But really cute. Maybe I should let you drink again.” At least that got Lan Wangji to look at him again.

“You are very odd,” Lan Wangji said.

“Hah, right back at you,” Wei Wuxian said fondly, putting his hand on the side of Lan Wangji’s face and keeping their eyes locked. “I had to help you drink water right instead of pouring it onto the floor,” he remembered, aloud, and laughed with his forehead pressed to Lan Wangji’s.

Lan Wangji grabbed his hand to keep it on his face as he leaned in to kiss Wei Wuxian, feeling his laughter on his mouth right before he interrupted it.

Of course, the cultivation world was smaller than it seemed, especially between the main sects, and it was only a matter of time before everyone was gathering again at Cloud Recesses, and Jiang Wanyin had to be around Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji again.

It was exhausting to be around them together, at least for him, because they pretty much just went back and forth telling him, “say what you want about me, but don’t you dare talk about him that way.” Even when he didn’t think he was saying anything bad!

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin being completely alone together felt much more orchestrated. Wei Wuxian suspected Jin Ling or Lan Sizhui, and wasn’t completely sure he shouldn’t be looking to his own husband for the perpetrator of this little scheme.

He loved that frustrating man.

And the one who was currently sitting next to him outside the Jingshi, which was probably the weirdest part, seeing Jiang Wanyin here of all places. Imagining Lan Wangji letting that happen.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian greeted. “Did Lan Zhan tell you to come get me?”

“No, he just told me where you’d be,” Jiang Wanyin answered. 

“Aw, you were looking for me? I’m glad to see you, too.” It was hard to tell if this was Wei Wuxian’s general teasing, or if he was laying it on thick to cover the awkwardness of the moment. Which was probably completely intentional.

“Jin Ling suddenly can’t stop talking about you,” Jiang Wanyin said. Wei Wuxian noticed, amused, that as he said that, he was sitting approximately where Jin Ling had, compared to Wei Wuxian, when he’d told him everything after the night hunt.

“That makes sense,” he said. “I’m told I’m very charming and interesting.”

Jiang Wanyin rolled his eyes. “Who would say that besides your husband?”

“Rude. Just because it’s Lan Zhan who said it, doesn’t mean it’s not true. He’s very honest.”

“Yes, yes, your relationship is great and you have no secrets, I get it.” 

Wei Wuxian didn’t say anything, due to a well-intentioned policy to never tease Jiang Wanyin about his love life, and the fact that the only comebacks he could come up with had to do with jealousy.

Jiang Wanyin looked like he’d heard them anyway. Maybe they went without saying. “He’s been asking me to tell him everything about when we were younger.”

“That’s only natural, isn’t it? Kids are curious about their family’s past.” 

“He wasn’t, before. Or at least not enough to ask me about it.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t know where this was going. “I can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not,” he admitted.

“I’m always mad at you,” Jiang Wanyin said, without any heat. “It’s hard to talk to him about his mom, but I want him to know what she was like. So you have to talk to him, too. I can’t do all of it!”

“You’re OK with me telling him about her?” Wei Wuxian asked, honestly surprised. “I thought you’d be mad I told him anything about our past.”

“I am mad, that’s why you have to make it up to me,” Jiang Wanyin said. “Obviously.”

“Of course, that makes sense. Then I’m sorry, Jiang Cheng. I’ll make it to you.”

“And--” Jiang Wanyin cut himself off.

“And?”

“You didn’t tell him any of the bad things I said or did to you, back then,” Jiang Wanyin mumbled. “Or about Wen Qing or about me being jealous all the time. Although apparently Hanguang-Jun told him you were amazing.”

“Those weren’t necessary to the story,” Wei Wuxian said, awkwardly. “Except me being amazing. I should have added that in. I’ll have to thank Lan Zhan for remembering it.”

“Except I assumed you’d told him all the stuff about me, so I mentioned it, and then I had to tell him!” Jiang Wanyin complained. 

Wei Wuxian laughed. “Sorry, sorry, it’s not funny. It’s just a little funny. Usually I can’t get you to admit anything but Jin Ling gets it out of you without even trying.”

“That’s not funny!” Jiang Wanyin protested. “It was so awkward. He’ll never be able to look at me the same again.”

Suddenly Wei Wuxian couldn’t tease him anymore, because he felt the same way. Actually, he still could, mutually assured destruction.

“It’s amazing he can look at either of us now,” Wei Wuxian said. Nope, that was too honest.

“No kidding,” Jiang Wanyin said. That was exactly the problem, that they weren’t kidding anymore. They didn’t know how to be serious with each other. “Now he knows every stupid thing I did back then.” It wasn’t an apology. Objectively, it wasn’t even close. But from Jiang Wanyin, it felt like one.

“He knows I was involved with the deaths of both of his parents,” Wei Wuxian sighed, since they weren’t kidding anymore. “I think you’re still ahead of me.”

“It’s not a contest,” Jiang Wanyin said. “He probably needs both of us.”

“Not a contest? Who are you and what have you done with Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian asked, looking around for comedic effect.

“You’re still not funny,” Jiang Wanyin said, shoving Wei Wuxian away. “And it wasn’t really your fault.”

“Then why can’t you look at me?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“I’m working on it.” Jiang Wanyin looked up at him, briefly, before he looked away. Like it really was an effort to look.

“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian said.

Jiang Wanyin frowned. “For what? Don’t thank me.”

Which was when Jin Ling arrived. “You guys really are brothers,” he said. They both pulled similar faces, which didn’t help. “Come on. You’ve been gone long enough.”

Wei Wuxian stood up and held his hand out to Jiang Wanyin, who ignored it, but at least didn’t smack it away, and the three of them walked off together.

Oftentimes, utterly exhausted, emotionally and physically, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian would have preferred to spend at least a few days lying around in bed together, playing music, eating together, drinking alcohol and tea together, and taking leisurely walks through forests and crowded marketplaces. Unfortunately, neither of them had a duty-shirking bone in their body, whether official business or responsibilities that they had ultimately assigned themselves.

Neither of them would have probably liked each other if they were ultimately selfish; in some ways their bond was based on a common desire to do the right thing all the time and how they kept redefining what that meant over and over, trying desperately to harmonize and pushing through every moment of being out of tune because they knew it’d be worth it one day.

They couldn’t actually spend all their time together. Both of them felt compelled to use their knowledge and abilities to help keep people safe and help teach younger generations, and they liked it, they liked being useful. And sometimes they were needed in different places, sometimes even on different hunts, but their attachment to each other was ultimately, shockingly healthy, even after everything they’d been through. They didn’t panic at being apart, but they never tired of being around each other.

The two of them did this, built an amazing, solid, trusting relationship on a foundation of tragedy and destruction. They were proud of it, and they didn’t hide it even when some people really wished they’d be quieter about it.

Together, they may have been the most powerful and terrifying couple in the world, but unless they were actively fighting or planning to fight, they didn’t really think about that. That or if someone like Sect Leader Yao was being particularly annoying. But mostly, their personalities and interests become more important than they’d felt in over a decade and Lan Wangji got a thrill out of remembering that he is someone else besides Hanguang-Jun, force to be reckoned with. 

Wei Wuxian often did a thing where he joked about being the all-powerful Yiling Patriarch when he was actually pretty much just as scary powerful as people made him out to be, just not as ruthless or ill-intentioned. Lan Wangji did a weird thing where he rolled his eyes whenever people talked about his unquestionable character. It had always bothered him, but it was worse now that he knew that people had thought it meant he should be standing up against Wei Wuxian all the time.

But as it happened, their reputations gradually changed due to their frequent successes, especially together. They were seen as even more legendary than they’d been imagined before, thus even the incredible rumors could often gain traction. But the idea of Hanguang-Jun as uptight and serious was taken down quite quickly after enough people had seen him around his husband outside of a cultivation environment. Anyone who saw them fight together and then eat together, or talk together, or walk together, or exist in the same space without a looming threat, would struggle to reconcile the different sides to them. Other sect leaders and seniors would ask Jin Ling or Jiang Wanyin or Lan Xichen if they had any greater insights, and they would always say that they didn’t get it either.

Nobody quite believed them, especially because they always seemed to be able to fall right into a natural conversation with the couple.

Because the next generation was so competent, every once in a while Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji did manage to steal away some prolonged alone time, occasional vacations of sorts. They often seemed to run into trouble anyway, but it was always taken care of and they’d moved on before anyone else was there to check up on it. The villagers who met them at those times would tell the other cultivators that two handsome men handled their problem swiftly and without asking for anything in return, leaving before they could insist.