Work Text:
Gigi first messages her on a Tuesday night.
[gigi.goode] ‘hey, sorry, do u have the history homework?’ There’s a smiley face emoji next to it, and Crystal narrows her eyes when she sees the text.
[crystalmethyd] ‘we didnt have any lol, just rereading the chapter!’
She puts her phone back down, focuses back on her book, and is just settling back in when it buzzes again. Crystal isn’t one to be rude though, so she checks it, just to make sure it’s nothing important.
It’s nothing, just a simple thank you, and Crystal isn’t bothered to reply. Gigi Goode is virtually a stranger anyway, not particularly popular, but not a pariah. A loner.
She doesn’t owe Gigi Goode any more of her time, and she doesn’t feel bad ending their brief moment there. Besides, she needs to finish this book for English. She can’t afford to get called out for using Spark Notes again.
*
School for Crystal is a mixed bag.
Her mother often asks her why she makes it so hard on herself, and as much as Crystal hates it, she’s right. Her closet is full of colourful shirts and enough cheap jewellery to support an entire garbage barge. She makes a distinct noise as she enters a room, bracelets clinking, to garner herself attention.
It’s not particularly bad. She’s not bullied too harshly, and when she is it’s easy to let it slide off her shoulders. She’s out of here in three years anyway, and she will never see these people again.
Their class is painfully small. Their entire school is, with less than 200 people; including the staff. Crystal has long since made peace knowing this wasn’t the place for her, that she would thrive when she made it to the city. She knew that at twelve years old, and she knows it now.
Middle school didn’t bring her many real friendships. Sure, she got invited to a few sleepovers, but she could feel how obligatory the invites sometimes were. High school is no different, and Crystal finds herself sitting on the outskirts of the main group of girls, not quite involved in the conversation, but not entirely excluded either.
She spots Gigi across the lunch room. She’s writing something, eyes glued to the page. Crystal has never really taken the time to look at her. She hadn’t come from any of the nearby schools, like the rest of them, transferred in halfway through the year, and didn’t really make an effort to integrate. In fact, she avoided people where she could, and Crystal’s not actually sure she’s heard her speak a word outside of class.
“You okay?”
Crystal blinks herself back to reality, to Heidi’s big, curious eyes. “Yeah, just off in my own mind.”
“You always are.” There’s a round of laughter at Jaida’s comment, and Crystal joins in, half hearted. She knows its partially serious, a joke at her expense, but she doesn’t want to fight. She hates confrontation. Its why she promised herself she would stay in the closet until graduation. Even if it, realistically, probably would only knock her down a few pegs, being able to sit beside a group is better than sitting alone.
She looks over to Gigi again. She’s got bright, red hair (another aspect that didn’t help with the bullies), and she’s smiling down at her paper. She’s got a really pretty smile, but its gone as soon as it appears, and Crystal’s attention is draw elsewhere when the bell rings.
The girls all pick up their things, and Crystal follows after them, behind the group a little. It really didn’t help that there were only about twelve girls in her grade. Not the kind of friendship pool she was looking to dive into, that’s for sure.
*
Some weeks go by, and Crystal is already drowning in homework. She’s usually pretty quick to get stuff done, but she had allowed herself to get behind in Biology, and the chapters were quickly adding up. All those evenings scrolling through her social medias were haunting her a little bit now. Especially as her phone still tempted her away from the pages.
She makes it through three of the assigned FIVE chapters, before she decides she deserves some time off. She puts her earphones in and opens up Instagram. It’s a bad habit, but she likes seeing what the other girls are up to when she’s at home. The parties, the drinking, the boyfriends. It looked fun, but she had been to those parties before, and it wasn’t her scene.
She wasn’t ever going to enjoy that kind of thing. Especially if Nicky was going to be there.
Nicky Doll, a French exchange student living with Jackie for the year, is one of the most beautiful girls Crystal has ever seen. She’s distracting, and Crystal has embarrassed herself enough times in front of her for the rest of her life.
She seemed to have a sixth sense, always looking over to meet Crystal’s eyes when she stared. It was getting to the point where Crystal just outright ignored her when she can. Because she is painfully into men, and Crystal, even deep in her Sapphic fantasy brain, knows that.
She needed to make it out of high school, or at least a little further in, before making a fool of herself making googly eyes at a straight girl.
So, she ignores the allure of Jan’s Instagram story, to watch them all get ready for their Saturday night, and goes tapping endlessly through beauty bloggers and celebrities instead. Other beautiful people she couldn’t hang out with, but without the sting. Perfect.
That is, deep in her stories, she finds herself viewing Gigi Goode’s. It’s just a video of her dogs running madly around her, but it’s cute, and she clicks into her profile.
She’s clearly not active there, and there’s only seven posts. She herself is only in one of them, and its not even recent. Crystal followed her when she joined them, as was customary when anyone new entered their class, but she hadn’t even really looked at it.
Her phone buzzes, a harsh sound and she almost drops it in shock. It’s almost spooky, when she sees the very same account she’s on appear in her notifications bar, and Crystal pulls it down to get a look without opening it.
It’s just about homework again. Crystal isn’t surprised, and she replies quickly. The conversation stops there, once Gigi thanks her.
The following Monday, when she sees her at the morning sign in, Gigi shoots her a little smile. Its small, and the most she’s interacted with her ever. Period. Crystal is almost shocked to stillness, but collects herself enough to respond in kind.
Gigi looks away as soon as she sees it, and Crystal is distracted when Jaida releases a booming laugh, set off by something one of the other girls said. By the time she looks back, Gigi is halfway out the door with her head down.
*
Crystal first tries weed when some of the popular girls offer her some. Partially, because who is she to say no to an actual good natured offer, but she’s interested. She coughs on the smoke, and she can see Nicky laughing at her from across the outdoor court.
She and the girls she’s with are hidden from the coach by an overgrowing ivy off the side of the building. It broke away from the bricks years ago, curling in on itself like a giant tumbleweed. It’s perfect, but it doesn’t usually work for long. Thankfully today, everyone seems to be looking elsewhere.
“Miss Goode! Eyes on the ball!”
Crystal jumps at the sound, almost drops the joint, and one of the cool girls takes it from her. She was being too slow, it seems, but she doesn’t miss it, because her eyes are glued to Gigi, who is struck hard in the head the moment the coach’s voice rang out.
It’s like slow motion. There’s a ring of ‘ohhs’ and hisses from some of the others, and Gigi seems okay for a moment, like the force has to make its way fully through her body before she crumples. She’s skinny for their age, and looks small on the ground despite her height, and Crystal finds herself walking over in a daze.
Coach beats her there. Gigi is only out for a moment, and has her head in her hands between her legs by the time Crystal is close enough to see through the group. She feels kind of faint herself, and looking at Gigi doesn’t help.
“Okay, everyone take a lap, I need to get Miss Goode to that nurse.” Crystal blinks and they are halfway across the field. She shakes it off, but it just makes her dizzier.
She doesn’t get her head back on her shoulders until Math class. Incidentally, that’s when Gigi comes back too, pale and with eyes redder than Crystal’s, but standing. The girls sitting around her lean over to get the gossip, and it makes its way back to Crystal. Gigi’s mom is away on business and can’t pick her up. Crystal winces.
It’s just a little bit too honest. Probably from the latent head injury because Gigi is extremely cagey at best (Crystal doesn’t think she even knows how old she is), and usually doesn’t have two words to string together for anyone. Its ammo, and Crystal sees some snickers spread already.
She tries to catch Gigi’s eye, but she’s leaning heavily in her hand, and doesn’t tear her eyes from the board the whole class.
Crystal finds her eyes dancing between her and Nicky (her usual pastime), until the bell rings.
It’s not until she’s home that she realises that she wasn’t paying any attention at all, between the weed in her system and the smell of Nicky’s perfume and the tension radiating from Gigi. It’s a moment of panic when she opens her contact list to get the homework and anxiety hits. She doesn’t like texting the girls. She knows she stands somewhere to the side with them, and doesn’t know what may make her rocky existence in their peripherals fall apart.
A flash of wavy, red hair comes to mind, and she goes to her messages with Gigi. Gig herself texted her first, and this is no different than that. She forces her heart beat to slow, and types a quick message before she can regret it.
It’s a few minutes before Gigi replies, and Crystal is only a few notes into her playlist before her phone buzzes, and she glances down.
[gigi.goode] ‘oh shit... tbh i was zoned out sorry!!!’ Crystal flushes, realising her error.
[crystalmethyd] ‘omg im sorry i didnt even think! Hows your head?’ She types back and sends the message quick, biting her nails.
Crystal waits as the dots appear while Gigi types.
[gigi.goode] ‘no complaints’
[gigi.goode] ‘but fr, im fine, just lying down with some painkillers, the dogs, and netflix’
[gigi.goode] ‘sorry’
Crystal feels strange talking to Gigi like this. There’s a cruel part of her that feels the need to stop it. Gigi could make her a target. It’s shameful to admit that she almost takes the out, just thanks Gigi and tries someone else for the homework, but she’s hit with a wave of something like courage, and starts typing.
[crystalmethyd] ‘thats okay!! Im glad ur okay!!’
[crystalmethyd] ‘since u wont have it done Im just going to leave it. Gotta keep up my rep somehow’
She sends the message and feels nervous all of a sudden. She squashes it down and tries to focus on her music, closing her eyes. She doesn’t text much as is, and has no idea what might come off as weird.
Gigi is a pretty girl. There are rumours she was even a cheerleader back at her old school, but there’s no proof of it. Crystal isn’t sure what happened, because no one is, and she’s not inclined to ask. Her phone goes off again.
[gigi.goode] ‘you have a reputation? First i heard of it’ There’s a winking face emoji, and Crystal narrows her eyes at the challenge. She doesn’t back down.
*
She’s still cagey, and it takes a long time to get even the smallest bit of information out of Gigi. It’s clear that she doesn’t trust easily.
The first sign that she actually feels anything for Crystal besides the polite need to reply takes almost a year, and Crystal doesn’t even realise it’s happening until its over.
[gigi.goode] ‘I have a secret insta u know’
Crystal stares at the message for a moment. She can’t say it’s a shock. Gigi has shown her her designs, her make up looks she does for fun. She’s even sent her a video, once or twice, little boomerangs that were almost too close to home for their relationship. Too honest to who their really were. But it was sweet. Crystal can’t deny she’s curious.
[crystalmethyd] ‘not surprised, ive seen what you can do. Can i see it?’
Gigi sends on a link and Crystal follows through to a locked account. She requests to follow and goes back to the message.
[crystalmethyd] ‘tease’
[gigi.goode] ‘gotta make em wait for it. check now’
Crystal does as she’s told. Gigi private Instagram has a couple of thousand followers, but she doesn’t focus on that. There are hundreds of posts here. Some just drawings of Gigi’s ideas, some fully constructed outfits on a stand. But it’s the full looks, where Gigi has done her face up and smiles in a way Crystal has never seen her smile in school, those catch her attention first.
One in particular actually, from only a week ago, that Crystal goes to first. Its another boomerang, and she’s twirling in a dress Crystal had seen her draw in class a few days before. She’s grinning, and Crystal smiles down at the image in front of her without even thinking about it.
She doesn’t notice how long she’s been staring until another message comes in.
[gigi.goode] ‘Crys?’
The time stamps are twenty minutes apart, and Crystal feels herself blushing with embarrassment
[crystalmethyd] ‘omg sorry, i was just scrolling through, this is amazing G!!’
The lie slid out easily. Crystal couldn’t bear the idea of scaring Gigi away now, especially with something so tiny. White lies between friends are fine.
She gushes for a while, and Gigi soaks up the praise like she never has before. Crystal can see the comments on her posts, mostly girls their age, and Gigi mentions she keeps her following well curated. That comes to mean ‘no men’ it seems, and Crystal stores that information away excitedly for later.
Not that the ides of Gigi being for women’s eyes only means anything. She could have a million reasons for that.
Still, she feels a thrill at the idea that maybe she isn’t alone. It stirs something in her that eventually leads her to Gigi’s first post on her secret page.
She’s younger there than Crystal has ever known her, with shorter hair and shy face. Her make up is still impeccable though. Crystal wonders why she never does this much for school. She knows the other girls do. So does she when she’s not too tired in the morning. But Gigi always goes in basic.
Not drawing attention.
*
It’s not until Crystal comes out that things start to change properly. They’re Juniors, and, even though they know each other well enough to be considered friends, close friends even, they don’t ever interact at school.
It’s not a spoken arrangement. In fact, it seems like they are both ignoring that aspect of their relationship, sharing only smiles in person. In private, through the safety of the screen, it’s a different story.
They had been texting all evening, about TV, something distant and not too serious, but Crystal had felt something in her for the last few weeks. A new boldness.
Gigi is the perfect person to tell. Somehow, over the years, she’s become Crystal’s closest confidant. Someone who would never gossip, or betray her. Gigi didn’t have anything to gain.
[crystalmethyd] ‘hey g, i wanna tell u something’
Gigi replied instantly, as she was known to do, and Crystal felt at ease. She could do this. It’s just Gigi.
[gigi.goode] ‘anything babe’
Crystal takes a shuddering breath, and types out her reply. It’s hard to send, but she does it anyway. The regret hits fast, but it’s easy at first. The seconds ticking by afterward do not feel as relaxed. She feels her stress radiating across her shoulders by the time Gigi replies.
[gigi.goode] ‘omg CRYSTAL’
[gigi.goode] ‘Im so proud of you for telling me!! Obvs im completely okay but how are you feeling? Who else knows???’
[crystalmethyd] ‘so as of rn its just u’
[crystalmethyd] ‘please dont tell anyone. I’ll have to kill you’
Crystal feels her heart in her throat still, even after Gigi spams her with a million heart emojis and affirmations of love. It’s the most emotion she’s ever showed her, and Crystal glows under the praise. It feels like they have broken new ground.
Its then that she realises that Gigi is her best friend. The only one she has in this town, and she’s never even been in her room, or pet her dogs, or even seen her in her Sunday loungewear. But she knows her favourite colour, her least favourite book, that she dreamed of clowns chasing her down on a bus last night. That she’s not scared of clowns but she still woke up sweating.
It’s strange, but Crystal doesn’t mind. Getting through high school is hell, and any comfort she can find is perfect. Even if it is only through a screen.
*
They organise to meet up one cold Saturday in November. It’s all very secretive, like they’re robbing a bank or breaking out of prison, and its all fun and games until Crystal stands in front of Gigi’s house, staring at the front door and waiting for Gigi and answer it.
She’s smiling when she does, and Crystal’s chest swells at the sight. She’s grabbed by her wrist and dragged inside quickly, and takes in Gigi’s home as she is guided towards her room. It’s cute, and she looks at home here. It suits her.
It’s almost awkward, being in the flesh together, and there’s a moment where Crystal is worried it won’t flow as easily, that they aren’t compatible in reality. She’s heard about that. She certainly hasn’t read up on it. But Gigi is smiling at her and she doesn’t see the girl she knows from school. The quiet girl in the corner of the cafeteria. She sees Gigi, who sews dresses for fun, and who gets so stressed driving she forgets her right from her left.
It’s just Gigi.
“So this is you?”
Gigi falls down onto her bed, watching Crystal stand awkwardly in the doorway. “This is me.” She sighs, sitting up and beaconing for Crystal to come inside. She follows the order, and sits beside her. “What did you expect?”
“Honestly? More... mess.”
Its true, Gigi’s room is immaculate compared to her own. There are some notebooks in the corner, and a pile of scrap material in the other, but its by no means a bombsite for someone who makes things.
Gigi laughs at her, and its easy again.
Until it takes a hard left, and Gigi asks her if she has any crushes. For a moment, Crystal is hesitant. She’s never, ever talked to anyone about liking someone. Beyond agreeing with the girls about the objectively most attractive boys around, she had never expressed interest outwardly. It took a lot to say something out loud.
“C’mon, I won’t tell anyone!” Gigi teases, poking her side, urging her on. She feels bold with Gigi’s eyes on her.
“You... really can’t tell anyone.” Crystal starts, and she hates that her voice sounds so weak. “Like ever.”
Gigi crosses her heart, swears on everything Crystal can think to make her swear on, and she cracks. “I like Nicky. I know she’s not gay, its just...”
“She’s beautiful.” Crystal just nods
Gigi falters for a moment, her smile dropping for only a second, before she’s asking for details. It feels just like what Crystal used to imagine the girls felt when they talked about boys at their sleepovers. It feels like she’s too old to feel like this, but its good nonetheless.
“What about you?” Crystal asks, once Gigi has stopped with her constant questions.
“Um, yeah, but no one special.” Gigi is clamming up again, so Crystal doesn’t push, and they watch movies until Crystal’s eyes are drooping.
“Do you want to stay over?” Gigi asks, shy, and Crystal checks the time. Its dark out anyway, and she doesn’t want to walk home, so she texts her mom and its agreed. Gigi finds her some sweatpants and a t-shirt to wear, and Crystal turns around to change. Gigi hovers, busying herself moving their popcorn bowl and fruit snacks off bed, and fetching her own pyjamas.
“I’m just gonns go to the bathroom, brush my teeth. I’ll find you a spare.”
Crystal mutters her thanks and she’s left alone. Gigi’s shirt is a bit small on her, the pants a little big, and she makes herself comfy on the bed while she waits. She almost opens up her messages, before realising the only person she would be texting is under the same roof. It’s weird.
Instead, her mind wanders, and it inevitably spirals. Gigi went to the bathroom to change, was it because of her? She hadn’t even thought anything when she had changed... did Gigi think she had a crush on her? It’s a scary thought, because it truly is one of Crystal’s nightmare scenarios as to how this relationship might end badly, and when Gigi returns, she just grabs the toothbrush and finds her way to the bathroom quickly, locking the door.
Brushing her teeth allowed her to clear her head. There’s a million reasons why Gigi might have been uncomfortable changing around her. It’s not always the most obvious (to her) thing.
Gigi is dressed in a similar outfit to herself, and once Crystal returns, she teases her fingers across Crystal’s side when she realises how much her shirt rides up. It brings Crystal back down to earth fast, and the question leaves her before she can stop it.
“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?”
Gigi narrows her eyes a little. “Um, no, unless you do?” She sounds unsure of herself, but Crystal presses on, needing to quiet the way her heart raced.
“Do I make you feel weird?”
“How could you make me feel weird?” Gigi’s face is unreadable. She wouldn’t know how to read it anyway.
“I just... i don’t want to make you feel weird, because I’m, y’know... gay.” It comes out like a whisper at the end, and Gigi just smiles at her, reaches out to hold her hand.
“I told you, you’re my friend.” She puts some emphasis there, and Crystal feels a twinge in her chest. “I want you here.”
Crystal purses her lips, and lets it go. Gigi doesn’t seem to notice the way it bothers her, but she can’t expect her too, and by the time they settle down in Gigi’s bed, her anxiety has unfurled itself somewhat, and her eyes droop, heavy. It’s well past midnight, and the credits of Legally Blonde have long since ended. Gigi watches her as she gets comfortable on her pillow, and Crystal does the same.
It truly feels as if Gigi hasn’t stopped smiling at her. It’s easy to see her now, the girl she knows, and she wonders how she’ll be able to ignore her Monday morning like they usually do. Gigi grabs her hand under the sheets, and pulls it to her chest.
“Crys?” She says, and even though she’s almost sleeping, Crystal blinks herself awake to focus.
“Yeah?”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Hell yes.” Crystal replies, and she feels Gigi squeeze her hand tighter. It’s almost painful, but she keeps herself focused on her face. The air suddenly feels so much heavier than it has the entire night, so Crystal squeezes back, trying to convey her support. “Anything, babe.” She adds with a wink, and the pet name comes out easily. Gigi blushes a little. It’s cute.
“I never told you why I had to leave my old school.” Gigi speaks slowly, likes she’s forcing every word out. “Why I’m here now. I, um... I got bullied out.”
Crystal’s jaw clenches at the thought. “You don’t have to tell me anything your not ready too, Geege.”
“I’m ready, it’s just hard. You’re the first person here that I can trust.” Gigi took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m, um, I’m trans.”
Crystal’s heart stops for a moment, and she can feel Gigi sweat where their hands are clasped. She’s staring at her with wide and terrified eyes, and Crystal can’t help but break away so she can wrap her arms around her fully. Gigi melts into it, curling up into her neck. She’s shaking a little, and Crystal holds her tight. It all suddenly makes sense.
“Please don’t cry, you’re going to make me cry!” Crystal laughs, trying to lighten the mood, but it doesn’t work. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m gonna have a lot of questions when you’re ready, but you... you’re my best friend. You’re still the only idiot smart enough to sew a fitted jacket.”
Gigi laughs wetly below her chin, and her arms slowly extend from her chest and around Crystal’s waist. It feels good, a little too good, where Gigi’s hands lie on her bare skin, her nails scratching lightly across it as she moves. Crystal feels a shiver come up her spine.
“Seriously, Gigi, I’m going to start.” Crystal wasn’t lying. She’s a compassionate crier, and it’s usually embarrassing, but they both melt into teary giggles when Crystal finally lets out a shaky sob. “I should be comforting you!” She says through gasps. Gigi leans back so she can look at her, and she’s not crying anymore, but her eyes are still bloodshot.
“So, you’re not freaked?”
“Of course not! You’re Gigi... i assume?” Crystal was 99% sure, but needed the clarification. Gigi laughs, and takes her hands back to wipe away the last of her tears. Crystal misses the contact immediately.
“Yeah, Gigi, she/her, seventeen, never fucking learned how to read.” Crystal laughs, and Gigi wraps her back up in a hug again. “This is really nice.”
“It is.” Crystal really means it. Maybe she had been missing something. She never allowed her friends to touch her, paranoia that her secret would one day become public knowledge and she would scare those same girls with the memory. It was a careful, choreographed thing, but Gigi’s hands on her makes her thrum with energy.
“Do you want to talk more about it.”
Gigi sighs against her. “Not much to tell, my mom was really supportive, and got me treatment and all, but the kids at school weren’t as cool as she was. She got a job opportunity here, and we decided to try it out. No one here knows. Except you, and my family.”
Crystal wants to hold her tighter, but she’s worried she’ll crush her.
“I’m so sorry, Gigi.” Crystal says. “I’m glad you’re not there.”
“I’m glad I’m here.”
They fall asleep curled in in each other, and when the light wakes Crystal in the morning, she wakes face to face with her best friend, for the first time ever. Gigi is still fast asleep, and she looks beautiful, even without her makeup and those big eyes that make Crystal nervous close up.
Crystal lies there, looking at her, until the need to pee becomes too much, and she slides out of her grip They have the house to themselves, but she still creeps around the halls. She doesn’t want to wake her; it’s still early and she knows how much she likes to sleep in on weekends.
She locks herself in the bathroom, and takes a moment. She’s never felt like this before with someone, and its elating. She’s excited to see her again, for Gigi to wake up so they can talk more, and that is new. She quickly relieves herself and brushes her teeth. She feels kinda gross, but brushing helps, and she strolls back to Gigi’s room after spritzing herself with deodorant.
Gigi is still asleep, but Crystal can see her fingers flexing. Looking for her, maybe. The thought hits her hard. Gigi has spread out a little in her absence, and she has to gently shuffle her way back in. Gigi cuddles up to her in her sleep, and her legs twine with Crystal’s as she makes herself comfortable again.
The bed is still warm, and it’s so early that Crystal feels her eyes grow heavy again. She takes a moment to twirl some of Gigi’s frizzing hair between her fingers. She snatches her hand back quickly once she realises what she’s done, and Gigi lets out a long sigh. Crystal freezes until she settles again, and lays her arm back around Gigi.
She looks so peaceful, and Crystal feels another twinge deep inside her, but this time it feels familiar. She searches her mind for images of Nicky, and it’s confirmed. Nicky has been gone for a few years now, no one else has caught her eye since. But she remembers the feeling. Her heart clenches.
She’s beginning to think she maybe doesn’t want Gigi as just a friend after all.
It’s terrible news.
*
It’s easy to avoid Gigi at school with this new knowledge, but it somehow feels more difficult. Now, she seems to be constantly tuned into Gigi’s whereabouts, where she might only run into her before. She’s constantly keeping her eyes down now when they are in the same room, making sure with every fibre of her being that she doesn’t look at her.
She still texts her every single day. It’s easier behind a screen to hide how she blushes when Gigi calls her by a nickname, or sends her a little kiss at the end of her goodnight messages. She’s gone and done it, and fallen for her straight best friend.
Of course, there’s still the part of her that knows she has never clarified Gigi’s sexuality, and she shouldn’t assume. But with her own feelings in the ring, she forces those thoughts away. She doesn’t need to hurt her own feelings in all this. Gambling with her one actual friendship didn’t feel like the smartest thing to do.
Gigi seems to pick up on it, and asks her constantly if she’s okay. Crystal figures she’s still worried she has freaked her out. She works double time to make sure its not something Gigi dwells on, because she’s told her what happened at her old school, and the thought of instilling even a fraction of that fear in her herself is horrifying.
Gigi has a free house a lot, and now that the ice is broken, it’s a regular event to have a sleepover those weekends. Its not that they are avoiding her parents, but its like a special treat. Time together. Crystals not sure she could handle any more physical contact with her anyway.
They are almost finished their senior year, and Crystal is going crazy.
It’s a lovely day, and they’re going to hang out later and catch a movie, since they have nothing else to do. Crystal wakes up thinking about it, earlier than usual but not before Gigi (so well past 11am). She already has a string of messages from her, and she pulls her phone off the side table and into bed with her to read.
[gigi.goode] ‘good morning gorgeous!’
[gigi.goode] ‘i hope you wake up soon, i had such a bad nights sleep’
[gigi.goode] ‘since im up im doing my face, i expect to be told im very pretty later x’
[gigi.goode] ‘also happy lesbian day of visibility to you!!!’
[gigi.goode] ‘in related news i would like to make myself visible’
Crystal almost chokes as she reads, and quickly scrolls to see an attached photo of Gigi. She’s looking fantastic, but Crystal’s eyes are glued to her arm. She’s pushing up her sleeve, where a perfect little lesbian flag was painted across her skin in eyeshadow, and Crystal’s entire world is thrown for a loop.
There are a few messages under that, mostly stressing and regret, but also that hopeful knowledge that Crystal ‘wouldn’t give a shit’ but that she wanted her to know. It’s the first time in recent memory that Gigi has been entirely wrong in how she would feel about something. She couldn’t give more of a shit about this.
The last message is from just a minute ago, and Crystal smiles when it’s just a line of heart emojis. She quickly starts typing.
[crystalmethyd] ‘GIGI!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!’
[crystalmethyd] ‘A WOMAN AFTER MY OWN HEART’
[crystalmethyd] ‘For real tho im so proud of you!!!! Im really really glad you texted me for homework like 4 years ago xxx’
She sends on her own line of heart emojis, even as her own beats erratically in her chest. Gigi? A lesbian? It was only April, but she is sure this was going to top her entire year as far as good news was concerned. She quickly tells Gigi she needs to get ready (she wants to see her sooner rather than later), and Gigi goes off to check movie times while Crystal showers.
Her thoughts feel like a hairball bouncing around her skull, but Crystal tries her best not to overstay her time under the water, and tries not to let her mind wander to places it was better off avoiding. She has no idea how to source it, but she’s craving that empty feeling smoking gave her. She doesn’t want to be alone with her thoughts.
Thankfully Gigi seems just as excited and is already waiting at the bus stop by the time Crystal arrives. She finds herself jogging up to meet her, hair still a little wet from the shower, and Gigi swipes it out of her eyes before throwing her arms around her in a hug.
“Hi Geege.” Crystal whispers in her ear, as Gigi’s body thrums with energy against her own. She can’t imagine the woman in her arms is the same skinny teen she knew from Freshman year. The one who kept herself off anyone radar, and who on her first day ate her lunch in a bathroom stall. She’s blossomed since then, but Crystal knows she would have fallen for her either way. Gigi holds her tight for a moment, before sliding her arms back to her shoulders and holds her at arm’s length
“Are you ready to see the scariest film this shit town has to offer?” She’s baiting her, and Crystal takes it without a second thought.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll see who’s scared.” She pushes Gigi off, because its hard being face to face so close together like this, and misses the way the red head flinches.
The bus isn’t too long, and they listen to shitty pop through Crystal’s earphones, giggling like idiots in the back. It’s always weird out between them. Crystal can’t imagine what the girls might think of them being friends, beyond confusion, but she’s moved beyond caring. They graduate soon, and then it’ll be just them.
They had made plans to move somewhere for college together. Nowhere in particular, but it was agreed it was them, all the way. Crystal had never thought she would be the kind of girl to tail her crush cross country, but her best friend? That also seemed improbable, honestly, but here she was.
The nearest cinema was dingy, but it had good popcorn and it was the only available spot anyway, so it was a no brainer. Gigi had already bought tickets, much to Crystal’s chagrin, and she fights her for popcorn rights, wins, and stalks off to buy some. She grabs some other treats (Gigi always overeats the popcorn during the adverts), and looks over her shoulder.
Gigi is where she left her, leaning against the wall near the entrance to the screens, and she’s looking back at her. Crystal waves as much as she can with the bags in her hands, and the grin spreading across Gigi’s face makes her stomach erupt in butterflies. It’s too much like a date. But also, not at all. They’ve done this dozens of times. She bundles up her items after paying and makes her way back.
She’s relieved of her load once Gigi strides up to her, juggling boxes of popcorn and bottled drinks until they can share the weight evenly.
“It’s screen 6, the small one.” Gigi mentions.
“Oh, I love that one, y’know, because-”
“Because it feels like a spare, and you love that.” Gigi interrupts, handing over their tickets with a sheepish look to the attendant, and guiding them both through the winding, wide corridors.
“I had my first kiss there too, did you know that?”
Gigi didn’t know that, but Crystal wanted to see how she would react. It wasn’t a great experience, just some boy when she was in middle school. The girls had pushed her into it, and she was so sick of saying no that she had just agreed, and grit her teeth. It was nothing to write home about.
But there is an immediate reaction from Gigi. She falls silent, and her eyebrows knit together as she walks, a little too fast as far as Crystal is concerned. It makes her smile though, even as she struggles to keep up. It’s fun to imagine she’s jealous because it fits into her fantasy where Gigi feels the same, but she squashes it back down.
They find their seats and settle down, chattering as they go about the film. It’s meant to be a gory mess, and it’s perfect for them. The screen is still empty when the trailers play, and Gigi gets excited at the idea of an empty screen, a private screening.
She’s done this before, going for the movie no one else is planning to see, because they hate staying too quiet. It just wasn’t as fun when they couldn’t laugh out loud, or when Gigi had to dig her nails into the armrest to avoid yelping. Crystal watches her eat mouthfuls of popcorn, and settles into her seat. Her body is full of adrenaline already.
When Gigi’s hand slides into hers, she thinks nothing of it. Gigi likes to hold hands with her when they’re alone. It’s when she reacts badly to a jump scare and hides her face in Crystal’s neck that she becomes suspicious.
“You’re being a coward.” She whispers down to her, and Gigi glares up at her.
“You’re being a bitch.” She counters. “Let me hide.” She settles down with her head on Crystal’s shoulder, and its then that she notices how much they must look like a couple. Their hands are both twisted together on the armrest between them, and she herself has laid her head over Gigi’s, like they have done it before. They’re fully cuddling in the empty theatre.
She tries her best to stay as still as possible, like when her cat falls asleep on her chest, and one of Gigi’s hands free itself to give her leg a shake.
“You’re so stiff, relax.” She says, and Crystal wishes she could articulate exactly how difficult that would be. Instead, she snorts and tries to ease the tension out of her body. It’s no use, but she leans back to try and build an illusion. Gigi isn’t fooled. “You’re shaking, are you okay?”
“I’m great!” Crystal replies, staring straight ahead even as Gigi rises to look at her.
“Somethings on your mind,” Gigi is never one to mince words, and Crystal usually loves that about her. Usually. “Talk to me.”
Crystal looks over to her before she can stop herself, and Gigi looks vulnerable in the darkness. There’s a moment where they stare each other down, before Gigi cracks, and her eyes fall.
Its only for a second, but it knocks the wind out of Crystal’s chest. Testing the waters, she brings her face closer to Gigi’s, and watches her for a good reaction. Again, Gigi’s eyes give her away, and dart down to her lips. Crystal wets them instinctively as she watches, until she can’t hold it in any longer.
She may be deep in a fantasy of her own creation, but there’s something happening now, in reality, that she had never experienced before. Something she’s read about, and heard about, but never fully understood.
“Can I kiss you?” She asks, barely audible above the revving chainsaw on screen. Gigi meets her eyes and, for a moment, Crystal is worried about rejection. She feels that sinking feeling and is nauseous at the ides that maybe she really is just touch starved and stupid, not understanding the signs of a simple female friendship, and going too far.
But that moment passes, and Gigi nods, slowly, and moves before Crystal can bring herself back from the brink. Gigi closes in and kisses her, softly, feather light and hesitant. It’s like everything falls away, the wailing and the crunching of bloody murder fading away as Crystal kicked herself into gear and moved to cup Gigi’s face, drawing her into the kiss.
They only break apart once they run out of air, and Crystal watches Gigi breathe, eyes closed. She’s nervous, waiting for Gigi to respond.
“That was my first kiss.” It’s so quiet she barely hears it, but Crystal instantly wants to bundle her uo in her arms.
“I hope I did it justice.” Better than her last one here, that’s for sure.
“You certainly did.” Gigi finally smiles, and her eyes are unsure and locked on Crystal’s. “Can... can we do it again?”
Crystal doesn’t respond, just connects their lips in a kiss more passionate than the first, letting Gigi set the pace as much as she could while guiding her through it. If this is her first kiss, she’s excited to see where she is with it a month or two down the line.
“Gigi?” She asks, pulling back to look at her. She’s glowing, even in the dim light, and the words get caught in Crystal’s throat.
“Yeah?”
“Can, um, do you... ugh. Sorry.” Crystal laughs. “I’m so nervous.”
“Don’t be.” Crystal is surprised at the tone of Gigi’s voice, strong and sure. She finally looks up to her and she’s grinning again. She can’t let this moment pass.
“Do you, maybe, only if you want to... try dating?” Crystal feels the butterflies flap wildly, but Gigi radiates the same calm she always had around Crystal, and she doesn’t leave her hanging. She wraps her arms around her neck and holds her close.
“You have no idea how long I have wanted to hear that.” Gigi is giddy, vibrating almost, and Crystal almost misses the words themselves.
“Wait, what?”
Gigi is giggling now, like there wasn’t a man getting disembowelled on a massive screen in front of them. “Crystal... why do you think we started texting?”
“That was almost four years ago.” Crystal feels like she’s having an out of body experience, floating above herself as she puts the pieces together. “Are you messing with me?”
Gigi shakes her head. “Never.”
“And this isn’t a plot to humiliate me?” Gigi levels her with a blank stare, until they dissolve into giggles again. The painful tension has faded and Crystal realises she never got an answer. “So, girlfriends?”
“Girlfriends.” Gigi confirms, and leans forward to give her one last kiss. “Now quiet... you’re making me miss the movie.”
Crystal steals some popcorn from Gigi’s stash, and leans back to watch the final girl kill the bad guy (she assumes), linking her hands up with Gigi’s.
She’s definitely fallen for her best friend, and for the first time, it’s not a scary thing. She’s literally smiling in the face of a bloodbath, and when Gigi lays her head back down on her shoulder, it’s easy to press a kiss to her hairline, and relax back with her. Her girlfriend.
So maybe they’re in a small town, maybe they can’t actually be out and proud here, but it is just a few more months. Then it’s them verses the world.
Crystal can’t wait.