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Stay With Me, Don't Let Me Go

Summary:

In a world where a select few are given a soulmate, Umino Iruka is one of the lucky ones. Well, if you don't count the civil war that drove her family from their home, the traitorous maniac that recruited her into his secret organization, or the fact that she can't even TELL her soulmate that they're, well, soulmates. She'll just have to content herself with giving everything she is to protect her loved ones, and maybe it will all turn out in the end.

Notes:

Welcome to my entry for the KakaIru Mini Bang! It's fem!Iruka, yes; my usual trope. As of right now I'm almost finished with chapter 8 with plans for up to 15 chapters if all goes well. My goal is to post twice a week until it's complete, so I hope you guys like this!

The title of this fic is taken from the song Ashes of Eden by Breaking Benjamin. This song actually really fits this fic well I think, but I'm not sure you'll be able to see the connections until later, sorry :/ Otherwise I thinks it's a great KakaIru song :)

Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Epilogue

Chapter Text

Iruka has not always been one with the sea. She may have been very small when it happened, but there are moments she can recall clear as day:

The warmth of her mother’s arms as she was carried to the seaside. 

The calloused hands of her father as he lifted her firmly and placed her in the beam of moonlight. 

The other infants, three besides herself, hushed and wide-eyed and waiting. 

The salt-spray and rush of the tides. 

The beautiful woman, ethereal, glowing in the moon, liquid and light and the thunder of the surf in the dawn, leaning over her and whispering in a language unspoken by mortals but understood just the same, “ I choose… this one. ” 

And then the sensation of becoming the ocean itself.

Iruka has never been the same. 

Always there is something there at the edge of her mind, a presence just as familiar as her own - sometimes whispers, spoken in the language of waves and gulls, sometimes in the torrential screams of hurricanes. More than anything else, though, there is power - power resting just beneath her skin, surging and pulsing with her emotions, promising her the strength she will need to one day protect her loved ones. 

One day - but not now.

“Papa? Papa, why -”

A finger presses to her lips in universal gesture as her father uses his other hand to scoop precious belongings into a bag. “Hush, little starfish; we must hurry. Your mother is gathering food, and you must help me pack.”

Careful to keep her voice lowered, Iruka furrows her brow. “But Papa, wha’ should I b’ing?”

He takes a moment to pause and look deep into her eyes, one hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “Anything precious that will fit in your pack.” He hands her the back and gives her a gentle shove. “ Go . We must move quickly.”

Tiny feet patter along the tatami to her room. Her window is open and lets in a single beam of moonlight to illuminate the darker corners - just enough to let her see by (though she would not have needed it anyway). Iruka scampers as quietly as she can around, carefully folding her grandmother’s seashell necklace within a shawl woven soft and warm by her mother’s hands. There is a book, The Tale of The Utterly Gutsy Shinobi , that she slips into her bag, as well as a bundle of practice senbon. Iruka peers into the top of her bag; there’s a little room left.

There’s a soft glow beside her before something not unlike fur brushes up against her side. Iruka absently strokes the wolf’s pelt as she murmurs, “Wha’ else, Okami?” Wolf - but Iruka is only four, so perhaps she can be excused. Okami whuffs softly and tilts his head to her gradenza. 

“Oh!” 

Quickly she is there, small hands rummaging through drawers and rifling through belongings. A small pile is made: an old fleece vest of her mother’s; a long-sleeve shirt from her father; wool socks; a pair of small, fingerless gloves; her favorite cargo shorts, perfect for carrying back treasures from the beach; a chunk of coral gifted to her by one of her namesake; a yellow Sou’wester hat; and a poncho the same merry shade as the hat. 

There’s a nudge in the back of her mind, and Iruka nearly trips over to dig through her closet and bring out the small box that holds the two keepsakes of her mother’s heritage Iruka had ever been given: a large acorn and a weathered patch shaped as a vermillion-red swirl. The two treasures are removed from the box and carefully stored at the bottom of her pack. 

A couple pairs of clothes go in, including the ones she pulled from her drawers. 

There’s nock. “Starfish? Please wear these tonight.” Her father hands her dark clothes, shades of blue and grey that look like the shadows given form. Obediently Iruka dons them - thick pants, a long sleeve shirt, a knit cap - and wanders back to her parents’ room. 

“Finished, Papa.” He takes her pack, weighs it in his hand before nodding in approval. 

“Good girl,” he praises. “Now, take this. You remember how to wear it, don’t you?”

She nods and takes the sheathed dagger from him. Iruka may have been four, but she had been training for a year already. The dagger is belted to her thigh. There are senbon, she notes, cleverly tucked into the seams; those had not been there before.

“Now go grab your shoes, but don’t put them on yet. Wait till your mother and I say so.” 

Another nod, and 10 minutes later Iruka and her parents are creeping quickly across the compound and away from the sea. 

There is much activity in the compound this night, families gathering what belongings they can before fleeing into the dark. Some run to the ocean, that ancient benefactor, while others rush along its edge. Iruka and her family must go farther, must cover more ground in order to stay safe.

Because Iruka may have been four, but she had been training for a year already, and she had been Bonded for longer than that; she knew she was a target. 

Once they’re far enough away, Iruka is allowed to slip on her small shinobi sandals and is lifted in her father’s strong arms.

And they run into the night. 


When Iruka asks, she is told they are going to Konohagakure. 

“Your mother’s family has ties there,” Ikkaku says, and her mother smiles sadly.

“Your fam’y, mama?”

Kohari shifts her higher on her hip without missing a step. “Yes, Mizunoko. Your grandfather - my father - was the son of the cousin of two very important people in Konoha, and your grandmother - my mother - was the niece of the woman who married one of those important people. They will let us live in Konoha.” 

Her tone brooked no argument, but Iruka could feel the anxiety her mother tried to hide. She smiled and placed a hand on her mother’s cheek. “Don’ worry, Mama! I’s gonna be okay!” 

The anxiety melts into fond warmth and an amusement echoed by the man beside them, and Iruka knows she has succeeded. 

For days they walk or run until they are forced to take boats to reach the outer islands. From there Ikkaku secures passage on a trading ship to the ruins of Uzushio, the closest to Hi no Kuni any captain will take them. It costs him extra, Iruka will later learn, to be dropped there at all, and she almost thinks that her mother’s silent anguish at the sight of the decimated village makes it not worth it at all. 

They travel quickly for two more days before they slow down and begin to take their time. Her parents smile disarmingly and swear it’s so she can get used to her new home, but Iruka isn’t stupid, and she isn’t some untrained whelp; Iruka has power , and she has been learning how to use it. 

With her eyes open, she can feel the water everywhere. In the plants, in people, in animals. With her eyes closed, sound begins to echo back to her and forms images in her mind to go along with what the water tells her. Eyes opened or closed, Iruka can sense the bad intentions of the four men who have been trailing them since right before her parents slowed their pace.

That night, the small family is ambushed. Iruka, pretending to sleep, lunges from her blanket and scurries up a tree, setting a basic trap or two that barely manages to slow the man racing after her; the other three bandits are fighting her parents. 

She jerks her ankle back from a grasping hand and climbs higher. The bandit lunges again, this time snagging the cloth of her pants, and Iruka is jerked from the tree and dangled above the distant ground.

“Stop fightin’ ‘r I drop ‘er,” he snarls. 

Instantly the fighting stops. Iruka thinks she hears her mother breathe her name (she can certainly feel her mother’s fear ). 

“Now,” the bandit begins in satisfaction, “why doncha -”

But Iruka gives him no time to continue. Her dagger is drawn and flying before he can finish speaking, the blade piercing his stomach smoothly - and Iruka is dropped.

Her parents shout in terror.

A jagged branch tip catches her skin and gouges a stripe across her nose.

Okami howls.

But Iruka feels that presence in her mind, the one she loves almost as much as her own mother, surge forward and wrap around her protectively and cushion her landing. She stands, and water slips from her skin back into the ground. The confusion and distraction of the bandits is just enough for Ikkaku and Kohari to finish them all off. 

And then Iruka is sandwiched between her family, and all is well again. 

(Kohari cleans and bandages Iruka’s wound. It will scar, she’s told, but she doesn’t mind; all great warriors have cool scars.)


Konohagakure no Sato is much prettier than Iruka’s home in Mizu no Kuni (not prettier than the sea itself, though). There are trees everywhere, and everything not green is in warm shades of brown or cool shades of grey and blue. The shinobi even wear red swirls like the one her mother gave her! 

Kohari smiles down at Iruka and swings her up onto deceptively strong shoulders. From there the older woman names the different kinds of trees - including the oaks, the trees that acorns come from. 

Iruka feels like she’s floating, and even the suspicion directed towards her small family isn’t enough to bring her down. 

A man in a white mask painted to look like a badger guides them towards a tower with a school attached to it. In the yard Iruka can see children throwing kunai or practicing taijutsu, and she realizes it’s a shinobi school. 

“Mama,” she says, breathless with excitement, “I wanna go there . Can I? P’ease? Look! They’re gonna be s’nobi !”

The badger-man’s head tilts slightly in her direction, and she can sense his amusement even though nothing about him outwardly changes. It is, she thinks, very cool. 

It turns out that they are being brought to talk to the Hokage, which is also very cool. He’s old, much older than her father, but he smiles kindly at her and even lets her play with his hat. 

From her seat on the floor, entire body dwarfed by the hat, Iruka listens to the ensuing conversation.

“I must say,” the Hokage - Sarutobi, he introduced - drawls pleasantly, “I am… intrigued . You introduced yourself as Kiri at the gate?”

Ikkaku nods respectfully. “Yes. I want my family to be safe, not to live in fear.”

Sarutobi hums. “Why Konoha? Our villages are not currently on good terms, you must understand.” 

Iruka senses her parents’ hesitation. “... Up until recently,” her father begins cautiously, “the Umino were a respected clan on one of the far islands of Mizu no Kuni. However, our hidan were desired by individuals more powerful than us, and we were forced to scatter in order to protect ourselves.”

“You would flee rather than fight?” 

Another moment of hesitation, and this time it is Kohari who speaks. “Our daughter is special, Hokage-sama. We could not, besides loving her dearly, allow her to fall into corrupted hands.”

Iruka peeks out from under the hat to find Sarutobi watching her with a thoughtful expression. Hoping to be helpful she explains cheerfully, “I got a spirit in my head!” 

Wizened eyes widen, and he looks back at her parents. “A jinchuuriki?” he breathes.

Her father, frantic and desperate, waves his hands. “No! No, Hokage-sama, not a jinchuuriki. Not - Not exactly.” The tenseness in her parents has returned along with the beginnings of fear, and Iruka frowns. No one makes her parents scared!

Tiny legs lift her to her whole height, and she pushes the hat back on her head so that she can peer up, up, up at the Hokage. “Don’ scare Mama an’ Papa!” she chastises. “They wanna protec’ me! An’ they come here ‘cause Mama gave me a acorn an’ a red swirls ‘cause that’s her fam’ly ! Mama an’ Papa said Konoha would gotta let us stay!” 

In her irritation she nearly stamps her foot, but she’s so overwhelmed by the desperation she can feel from her parents that she nearly starts crying instead.

“We hadda leave in th’ night,” she wails, “an’ run fer ever , an’ I know Mama an’ Papa said we gonna be ‘kay, but yer feelin’ like we can’t stay but we gotta ‘cause th’ bad guys wan’ Uminosei an’ I can’ let ‘em have her so I gotta be s’nobi but I can’t if you keeps feelin’ like bad-trust an’ not lettin’ us stay -”

By now the hat has fallen from her head, and she’s blubbering, practically begging him to understand, because there’s no way she’ll let herself keep putting her family in danger just because of what she carries. 

Uminosei, the voice in the back of her head, has granted her an intelligence beyond her age. It is this intelligence, guided by the spirit’s gentle prompting, that urges Iruka to say, “ Please let us stay, Hokage-sama-ojisan! I’ll - I’ll do anythin’ if you let us stay so’s Mama an’ Papa can be ‘tected, too!” 

There is silence in the room - audible silence, anyway, because to Iruka it rings with shock.

Sarutobi laughs softly. “Your daughter is very special, indeed.” He stands from his chair and kneels in front of her instead. “What is your name, little one?”

“Ir-ruka,” she sniffles and wipes carefully at her eyes in order to avoid the bandage across her nose.

“Iruka, that is a very pretty name you have. You also have some very unique abilities. Can you tell me what I’m feeling right now?”

She nods hesitantly. “Feelin’... curious. An’... thinkin’. Maybe… Maybe like we c’n stay?” Hope begins to unfurl in her chest. 

He laughs gently. “Yes. That is exactly it. You are amazing.” He looks above her head. “Did you know Iruka-chan was a sensor?”

“N-No,” her mother admits. “We’ve always just thought she was very perceptive.”

“And the acorn and swirl? You are Senju and Uzumaki?” He is beginning to feel warmer, more accepting. 

“Half and half - a cousin to Hashirama-sama and Tobirama-sama, and a niece of Mito-sama.”

Now Iruka can feel surprise from the Hokage and from the badger-man and from three other people hiding within the shadows. 

There’s a long period of silence, then, “You can prove this?”

“Yes, Hokage-sama. I brought the official documentation of my birth with me when I moved to Mizu no Kuni and now to here.”

The Hokage huffs another quiet laugh and rises to his feet. “Based on that alone, Kohari-san, you and your daughter are guaranteed refuge in Konoha. Ikkaku-san, you will have to undergo an interrogation in order to prove your intentions and loyalty besides offering a detailed explanation of the skills and abilities of yourself and your family, but I have all faith that you will pass with flying colors.”

Iruka beams and flings her arms around his legs. “Thank you thank you thank you!” she squeals, because she knows this means they can stay . She offers his hat back, which he takes, and then she throws herself into her mother’s arms and cuddles up to her. 

“Badger,” the Hokage says pleasantly, “please escort Ikkaku-san and his family to the guest housing and then bring Yamanaka-san here to be debriefed.”

Badger bows, and he leads Iruka and her family once more out into the bright sunshine. 

Konoha is already beginning to feel like home.