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Han’s voice was broken and slurred as it echoed through the Force.
“I don’t want to say goodbye...
His heart was plummeting faster than when he bolted into light speed while piloting his X-Wing fighter.
Luke scanned the entire crowd of cheering rebels, his head snapping side to side frantically.
Han wasn’t there cheering amongst them.
Twisting on his heel, Luke turned to his friends, watched them celebrate. Princess Leia was smiling with pride as Lando cheered with the crowd. Chewbacca roared in triumph before wrapping his massive furry arms around C-3PO and squeezing the golden droid.
And next to them was a single, empty space. An empty space where the tall, dashing brunette smuggler would be standing, (while) smiling and laughing with the others
Han’s voice rang through Luke's mind this time, a voice that appeared soft and desperate, cracking with unspoken emotion.
“I-I can’t do this...I’m sorry, I don't know what else to do. Please just tell me what to do...”
Stepping forward his legs buckled , Luke stumbled towards the others, the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears.
Each faltering step grew faster and faster before he even realized he was sprinting toward them. Panic and worry began to twist his stomach into knots until it ached, and worry prickled his eyes with oncoming tears.
Leia’s bright and warm smile dropped as concern filled her gentle eyes, her brow knitting together in worry.
“Luke, what’s wrong?” Leia asked. “What are you doing?” unease and fear began to lace her voice as hickory irises flickered across his face, searching for signs of distress.
“Where’s Han?” Luke questioned. “Why isn’t he here with you guys?” His voice grew thick with emotion as he watched his sister's face contort into one of confusion and panic.
“I-I don’t know,” Leia had told him. “We thought he was with you…”
Her words appeared soft, but to Luke, they were louder than the piercing roar of a tie fighter at full speed.
Leia gave Luke's shoulder a comforting squeeze, trying to ease the developing discomfort and panic that was growing in her brother.
“Luke, I'm sure he’s okay. He’s probably just lost in the city,” Leia told him. “Either we’ll find him or he’ll find us. We just need to get a search team going-”
Luke turned away from her and the crowd, scoping the empty city streets for any sign of Han.
Panic had frozen his blood into ice and his body felt heavy and stiff. Han still wasn’t there.
Taking a deep breath, Luke reached out through the Force, calling for Han.
In his mind, he could see blood covering the cracked dusty ferrocrete floor on the inside of an empty warehouse. With a startled gasp, his sky blue eyes snapped wide open.
He knew where Han was.
They had passed the old warehouse on the edge of the city when they arrived, before diving deeper into the empty streets.
Luke charged forward as Leia’s pleas for him to wait fell on deaf ears. He reached out into the Force once again, feeling the soft pull from Han’s location. With each step that brought him closer, the tug had strengthened, beckoning him closer.
He could only silently pray that he would reach the smuggler in time, the pulsing sound of rushing blood filled his ears, only to be muted for a brief moment as every labored breath seemed to boom like thunder. His heart beat so loud and so hard he feared it would break out of his chest.
…
The warehouse was in plain sight, its walls and roof decaying and covered in native flora, the windows and door long since broken or shattered, leaving it open and empty. The tug had become so strong on his being it were almost as if he were being pulled by a river current.
“HAN!”
Luke's cry echoed through the empty space as he stumbled past the doorway into the dark room. An icy finger of fear wrapped around his frantically beating heart.
Near the center of the room, with fading sunlight streaming through gaps and holes in the roof illuminating him … was Han, his bloodied form sprawled out on the floor.
Bolting forward, Luke reached Han's side within a matter of seconds. He fell to his knees with a sickening crack as his kneecaps connected with the dirty floor. As gentle as possible, Luke placed a small palm on Han’s shoulder, carefully pushing him onto his back.
Han’s breath was coming in short gasps as he stared up at Luke. The corner of his lips twitched before breaking out into a wide broken grin, blood dribbling down his chin.
“H-hey kid,” Han mumbled weakly. “Looks like ya finally found me…”
But Han’s voice wasn’t as charming or laidback as usual. This time, his voice appeared to be hoarse and weak, lacking its usual cockiness and confidence.
“How could I be so stupid?” Luke said, his voice cracking a little. “I failed to protect you. It’s my fault you’re here. I’m sorry, Han. This...this is all my fault.” Luke squeaked, his throat tight with unspoken emotion.
Han scoffed weakly, watching the boy’s blue eyes widen with terror at the sight of his mangled condition. Luke scrambled to pull the gauze from his medkit.
“‘S not your fault, kid,” Han croaked. “I’ve survived worse scraps than this. Just give me a second and we can head back together…” Han had known better though; his wounds were too great, and he’d lost so much blood already. There was no way he would make it out alive with Luke in tow.
Luke nodded, his voice soft as he worked diligently on wrapping his wounds in gauze and cloth. “Yeah, yeah okay,” he assured. “Leia and the others aren’t far behind me. We’ll get you out of here and get help.”
Han gasped, groaning in agony as Luke's small hands pressed the gauze firmly onto the wounds. Hissing in pain, he shook his head, watching Luke desperately work to stop the bleeding, but the blood kept pouring. Han coughed and wheezed, spitting up crimson saliva.
The bleeding was internal and severe, there was nothing Luke could do but apply pressure and wait for the med team to arrive.
"Just give up kid, it's no use,” Han muttered. “Don't waste your time on me. Get out of here while you still can. Those imperial pricks are going to be back any minute."
Luke shook his head, snapping at the brunette smuggler.
"NO! No, I’m not leaving you here to die!” Luke shouted. “I'm going to save you, Han. I promise."
Biting his lower lip to stop himself from sobbing, Luke focused on keeping even pressure on one of the largest wounds with one hand while digging through his medical kit with the other.
“There has to be something in here that can help besides gauze and bacta patches.” Luke hissed under his breath. He couldn’t let Han die, not here, not like this. He couldn’t let the man he loved more than anything become another casualty on the battlefield. They were going to get through this and when Han recovered in the Falcon, Luke and Chewie would pilot them off this rock and they would live to fight another day.
Han's raspy voice broke the tense silence. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, Luke,” he said. “I never wanted to die this way."
Luke shook his head, whimpering. "You're not going to die, Han! I won't let that happen just, just hold on!" he cried. Swallowing the knot in his throat, his voice began to falter as tears streamed down his face.
"I-I promise you,” Luke said, “we're going to make it back together! Just hang in there. Please." Luke’s right hand pawed at his face trying to wipe away the tears.
Han's calloused palm knocked his hand away before wiping away the tear tracks trailing down Luke's cheek. It was then that he uttered the last few words that Luke never expected to come out of his mouth.
"I wanted to marry you."
Luke's body froze, still in shock as Han's quiet voice spoke barely above a whisper.
Han continued to ignore Luke's shocked stillness. "I wanted to propose to you,” he muttered. “I wanted to marry you and show you the wonders of the galaxy, far away from it all. From this never ending war. From this hell…”
“I wanted us to grow old together, dammit!” Han exclaimed, his voice cracking every time he tried to speak. “I wanted to brighten your smile every day because you make me smile every fucking morning. When I wake up next to you."
Han's voice trembled with fear and longing tears finally spilled over, cutting clear paths through the blood, dirt, and grime covering his face.
“It should have been me…” Luke finally said, body trembling as blood pooled in between his fingers.
“No no, please. Don’t even say that-” Han whimpering face contorted in pain at the thought.
Luke snapped at the man, tears pouring down his face as his lovers calloused thumb wiped away his tears “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! NOT YOU HAN! Never you...”
Han stared at Luke, his hazel eyes brimming with unshed tears, breath caught in his throat. Han slowly shook his head. “Kid, I would die a thousand times over if it meant that you could live one more day.” his voice soft as he muttered.
“The rebellion doesn’t need me kid-” Han began.
“BUT I NEED YOU.” Luke cut him short as he began to tremble in Han's grasp.
Luke’s head snapped towards the sound of oncoming heavy footsteps and shouts as they echoed through empty streets. The rescue team had arrived and was drawing closer with each passing second.
Relief flooded Luke‘s being, the knot in his chest unwinding as excitement filled his voice. “Han, HAN! They’re here!” Luke turned back to Han, smiling wide. “Just keep still till we get you up ok?”
Han gave a weak nod. Luke noticed that his breathing had become shallow and raspy in the time they talked, waiting for rescue. Han leaned forward with a groan, pressing his lips to Luke's. His hand never leaves Luke’s cheek.
With his opposite hand Han gently pressed something small into Luke’s palm, curling the younger’s fingers around the object in a fist before wrapping his hand tightly around it.
As Han pulled away, a weak smile stretched his lips, his eyelids heavy and half lidded and Luke smiled back wrapping his arms around Han, pulling him close to his body. The crew was just outside of the warehouse, their voices growing louder calling out to the pair.
Luke relaxed, the commotion bringing a sense of ease. “We’re saved Han we’re saved!” Luke cheered. Drawing in a deep breath he called back to the group. “WE’RE HERE! WE’RE IN HERE!”
Leia was the first to rush through the archway tailed by a small group of field medics. “Luke! Han! Are you ok!?”
Luke nodded pulling away from Han to help him stand, except Han was limp and his eyes were nearly closed. Luke’s stomach dropped staring at Han’s still chest and limp body.
Han wasn’t breathing.
“Han?! Han wake up!” Luke shook Han but didn’t respond, he didn’t react to the movement or Luke's cries. Luke became desperate, his small palm cupping Han’s cheek as he shaked his head, thumb swiping across his cheek bone. No response.
“HAN WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP HAN!” Luke began to shake Han's shoulders as the brunette merely jostled around like a rag doll.
Strong hands pulled at his shoulders and arms as two of the medics pried him away from Han. Luke fought back, pulling away from their grasp, wrapping his arms tighter around Han’s limp form. “NO! NO!! HAN! HAN WAKE UP!”
The medics began to tear Luke’s hands off of the smuggler as one of them picked up the young pilot and separated him from Han. Luke struggled against the medics thrashing and flailing, screaming. One medic had pulled away and kneeled beside Han, checking his vitals before starting CPR.
Luke’s struggles became more frantic as he watched the paramedic work, desperate to break away from the pair. “NO! PLEASE HAN! P-PLEASE GET UP!” Luke’s cries were shrill and broken.
He thrashed in the medics grasp screaming “PLEASE HAN! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME! PLEASE GET UP!”
The medic pulled away shaking his head “It’s too late, he’s gone.”
Luke’s struggles slowed as he processed the medics words, the words rattled slowly around his mind. Gone…gone….gone...
Luke’s heart plummeted as the world shattered around him. Burning tears streamed down his face as the world seemed to slow down to a crawl, his breath caught in his throat as his body trembled.
Luke went ballistic, his thrashing becoming almost animalistic, not caring if he injured the others. He just wanted to be by Han's side. A near feral scream ripped from his throat “NO! NO! HAN! HAN! GET UP GODDAMN IT! HE’S NOT GONE! HE’S NOT!”
Leia’s small warm palm wrapped around Luke’s bicep, her voice’s soft words thick with tears. “Luke he’s gone there's nothing we can do…”
Shaking his head Luke reached out to Han through the force, Han had to still be alive; he was just too weak! He would feel Han's life tug at him through their bond and he could get them to continue working with him.
The tug never came.
A shudder ripped through his body, his chest tightening as a wordless scream tore through his throat. Luke collapsed to his knees the medics loosened their grip, Leia’s arms wrapped around her brother, even though he barely registered the contact.
Tears flowed down Luke’s face and his screams seemed to never end. Leia pulled Luke’s trembling form as close to her body as possible letting her brother sob and scream into her shoulder.
Luke searched through the bond checking his tie to the other man searching for anything, any thought, emotion, or even a single heartbeat.
Their bond was quiet, Han wasn’t responding. Han was gone and all Luke could do was scream.
“PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME.”
Luke shuddered and cried trembling in Leia's arms sobbing, Luke twisted and watched as the medics carried Han away. Han's words echoed through his mind " I wanted to marry you ".
Luke looked down at his palm still closed his fingers wound tightly around something small, opening his hand Luke could feel his heart slow.
A small ring embedded with sparkling sapphires shined in his palm. "I wanted to marry you ".