Chapter Text
Being in love with someone who supposedly has no feelings is really hard.
Supposedly because after being a victim of witnessing Commander Spock and Lieutenant Uhura making eyes at each other while slow dancing at the rhythm of Christina Perri, a thousand years. Nothing could have prepared the young captain for that.
James T Kirk has fought against angry romulans, klingons, engineered super humans and has never felt so defeated in his life.
Here he is, one of the saviors of Earth, hugging himself in the bed, trembling, trying to suppress what he's feeling, wishing he could just disappear forever.
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4 Hours Earlier
“Captain! Do you have a minute? I want to ask you something” yelled a happy looking Sulu walking through the corridors.
Jim looked back. He wasn’t in a really good mood today; After all he was tired of watching almost the entire crew bouncing happily in every surface of the ship.
Today was the Halloween ball organized by Ensign Keval and by the looks of it the whole ship was very excited.
The whole ship except Jim. He hadn’t been feeling really well after losing a couple of security officers at the last mission. He just wanted to lock himself in his room and be a depressed potato for fuck’s sake! Not play haunted house at the heavily decorated mess hall.
Even Commander Spock wasn't looking as uptight as ever, he was lookin slightly relaxed, which was unusual for the vulcan.
“Someone’s looking happy Sulu! Now shoot” Kirk said trying not to show his irritation
“I talked to the bridge crew and we’ve all agreed to sit together at the ball, I just came to see if you’d like to sit with us too”
He couldn’t exactly say no, the captain showing at the ball dressed for Halloween will boost crew morale a lot.
“Sure Lieutenant, See you in two hours”
“Aye Captain!”
After taking a long relaxing shower and putting on a simple Dracula costume including the fake fangs that he replicated, he looked himself in the mirror.
He decided he looked good enough, with the vest clinging a little tight people would see his defined muscles. Looking hot with the cape was a plus. Seeing his alarm clock in the reflection of the mirror he noticed it had been almost an hour since the ball had started, he had to hurry.
Walking to the mess hall was amusing, seeing all his crew dressed either too scary, too sexy or to hilarious cheered him. Even though he was the captain he could at least look a little at the sexy caveman and sailors, putting aside that he really wanted to see his first officer.
Spock would appear in his uniform no doubt. It would be too illogical to dressed up for a human custom that would offend certain alien species due to the fact that some “traditional human monsters can resemble them and cause a diplomatic incident.”
Of course Kirk didn’t count on Uhura pressuring her gorgeous boyfriend to play dress up with her. Really, he should have predicted it. He would have avoided part or the pain.
Arriving at the mess hall the first thing he was Spock. Spock all dressed beautiful in a traditional prince costume. Spock looking more handsome and elegant than ever. Spock. Just Spock.
And Uhura, looking sexy as hell in a very tight and totally not traditional Cinderella dress.
Really, he should have seen it coming.
It wasn’t that he hated Uhura. Hell if she wanted she could be queen of the federation or something. Uhura was an exceptional woman with fine taste and goals that not every woman ventured to have. Jim just hated the horrible feeling in his gut every time he saw Spock with Uhura. The feeling of something breaking a little inside of him each time.
Uhura and Spock dancing at Christina Perri, a thousand years.
“Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall”
Jim can feel his heart thumping really loud in his ears. His eyes trying not to water at the sight of his first and communications officer together.
Time seems to slow as he tries with all his effort not to bolt out of the room.
“I have died every day
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
have loved you for a
Thousand years”
Jim closes his eyes.
Trying to suppress how fitting some lyrics were for him. He felt as if he had died every day waiting for Spock and by the looks of it he will keep doing just that.
Calm down. Calm down. How did she even manage to make Spock dance!? He must love her a lot. Calm down.
James T.Kirk will not cry. Not even at the sight of his unrequited love spinning a beautiful woman that deserved him.
“Time stands still
Beauty in all she is”
Jim tried to hide his sadness and put on his charming smile. And what a beauty she was.