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Usually people would complain that the weather didn't match their feelings. Felix on the other hand was complaining that the weather did match his feelings. Internally, that is.
All he wanted was a bit of sunshine to cut through his own rain clouds, but when Felix left the house that morning, he found the sky completely covered by dark gray storm clouds. Still, there was no way he was staying home with the smell of booze and his mother's constant scolding, so he walked. He didn't have a destination. As long as he was walking away from his house, he was going the right way. It definitely wasn't the first time the world had messed with him in such a manner. Over the years, he'd learned that the world did what it wanted with no regard for anyone else. Especially not him. Then again, when did the world ever look out for a Lee? If the world looked out for a Lee, he wouldn't be wearing long sleeves when it's summer. If the world looked out for a Lee, his dad wouldn't be drowning himself in beer bottles. If the world looked out for a Lee, his brother wouldn't have ran away.
A drop of water ran down his face, and for a moment he thought he was crying. But it soon proved to be, once again, the world messing with him as heavy rain began to pour from the dark clouds above. Pedestrians around him scrambled for cover, holding their bags over their heads and running towards the nearest shop. A few well prepared pedestrians simply pulled umbrellas out of their bags and kept walking. But Felix just stopped, standing in the middle of the sidewalk as the rain fell over him, trickling down his body and seeping into his bones, settling there cold and heavy. At least now his body felt what his heart did.
At least his body now understood the pain his heart felt when his mother told him to let his brother go.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing when his mother called him into the kitchen to "have a chat." How could she just expect him let his brother go? He was all Felix had. His one true friend. The one person who truly understood him. Never mind the two year age gap between them. His brother had Felix's back, and in turn Felix had his. It was the Lee brothers against the world.
That was until the world beat his brother exactly six months ago, and he had no doubt in his mind that the world would beat him too. In time. Everything was a matter of time. He had a set amount of time with his brother, and when that was over he had a set amount of time with his dad sober, and when that was over he had a set amount of time to drown, and when that was over he could breathe again.
Six months later and he was still drowning.
A flash of blue caught his eye, and when he squinted up against the rain, he saw a blue balloon floating through the sky. The string was frayed, barely holding onto the dark blue balloon as it was thrown around in the rain, being pushed this way and that way. How much Felix related to that balloon, being pushed around by the world as it tried to go up until it had no choice but to pop and fall back down. The world didn't look out for a Lee, the world didn't look out for balloons.
But it seemed someone did, for a hand reached over the ledge of a nearby rooftop and grasped the string, pulling the balloon over. Felix watched as the person leaned over the edge to pull the balloon closer, and when they held it close to them, they looked down and made eye contact with Fe—
Felix's eyes widened. No. It can't be. The rain is messing with his vision. Yeah, that must be it! He tried rubbing his eyes, but the same face still stared at him from the rooftop. Felix couldn't be completely sure, but he thought he saw the person smile before retreating from the edge, taking the balloon with them.
"No way..."
It seemed as if his feet moved of their own accord, his mind still too busy trying to process who he just saw. He ran towards the building (an apartment complex that stood just a couple feet away) and darted inside, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the tile. He didn't even bother waiting for the elevator, instead yanking open the door to the stairs and clomping up the metal staircase towards the very top. The world better not be messing with him again, for if it wasn't who he thought it was, he didn't know what he would—
He burst through the door to the rooftop, back into the pouring rain, and found himself facing the back of a boy standing by the ledge, the blue balloon held in his hand as it continued to be pummeled by the rain. "Minho..?" Felix breathed, voice shaking with uncertainty.
The boy turned around, and Felix's entire body froze. The boy smiled at him, his warm brown eyes turning to crescents as he said, "Hiya, Lixie."
It was him. The same eyes. The same voice. The same light brown hair. The same bruised knuckles. The same Minho.
"Min..." Felix said, his throat thick with emotion. He really couldn't believe it. After six months, he was finally standing face-to-face with his older brother again. "How... How is this possible? Everyone said that you..."
Minho's smile fell and he sighed, averting his gaze shamefully. "It's because I did..."
And just when Felix thought his world was finally starting to come together again, it completely shattered. His bottom lip trembled as he looked down, tightly squeezing his eyes shut as the rain continued to fall. So it really was true. Minho really did leave him.
"Why..." Felix choked out. When he got no response, he opened his eyes and snapped his head back up towards Minho. "Why?!" he yelled. Minho still wasn't looking at him, his expression pained. "You promised!" Felix screamed. "You promised it would be us against the world! Why is it only me now?! Why did you leave me to fight alone?!"
Minho was silent for a moment before turning back to look over the edge. "You know, people are like balloons," he said. "We're fragile beings, our existence tied to this Earth. Once the knot on the string has come loose... or if it's cut... we leave our existence behind and fly off into the unknown." He chuckled and looked over his shoulder at Felix. "I mean, when little kids let go of balloons, where do they go? Where do they end up? Where do we end up when we're let go? Or when we choose to be cut loose?" He sighed and turned his attention to the blue balloon in his hand. He held up the tattered string. "We go through so much. Balloons are set out on display and face the heat, rain, snow. We're pushed and prodded in so many different directions trying not to pop. We're tied by a knot, and when that knot comes loose, we float away into the unknown." He took a shuddering breath. "But what if you can't wait anymore for that day? What if you're tired of being pushed around by the world?"
"Minho..." Felix muttered.
"I wasn't strong enough to take on the world," Minho said. "This wasn't your fault, Felix. This wasn't anyone's fault but my own. I was the one who cut my own string. I was the weak one who refused to fight anymore." He finally turned back to Felix with a smile. "But you... You're the strongest person I know, Lixie. That's why I had to tell you this. To tell you that no matter how much the world pushes you around, don't cut your string."
"But I'm not strong," Felix softly protested, fists clenched and trembling at his sides. "Six months, Minho. I've been drowning for six months. How much more do you expect me to take?"
"The real question is: how much more do you think you can take?" Felix fell silent at that. He always told himself he couldn't take much more, but he kept going anyway. Is that what Minho meant by strength? The fact that he could keep going even after constantly admitting defeat? "This storm is pretty bad, huh?" Minho continued, gazing up at the rain clouds looming overhead. "But it'll be over eventually. It's just a passing downpour. It'll be over soon. With time." Minho turned back to Felix. "Time doesn't just bring bad things, Lixie. Positive changes need time too." And with that, he finally turned his back to the ledge and walked over to Felix, gently taking his hand and placing the balloon string in it, closing his fingers around it. "No matter how tattered your string gets, let it hold you until it snaps on its own," Minho said. "Don't take it into your own hands. Don't cut the string, Felix."
Felix looked down at the frayed white string in his hand, eyeing the blue balloon bobbing and swaying beside him out of his peripheral vision. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his grip on the string tightening as Minho's words sunk in. His brother told him to use his strength and hold on for the positive changes, not to throw it all away like he did. After all, his string hadn't snapped yet, so that must mean something, right? With a new resolve, Felix opened his eyes and looked up. "Min, I—"
But Minho was gone.