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Kageyama was on his way to see Hinata, the small note pressed right against his pocket. It felt heavy almost as if it would make him run away the second he saw Hinata. He’d sometimes wonder late at night how life would be without Hinata by his side. He wouldn’t lie but the world would be boring.
He remembered one time he was out sick and all he wanted to do was go to school, just to see Hinata. He didn’t really mind missing a day even if it did pain him just a bit. Yet, his body was sore to the point that he couldn’t lift a cup of water on his own. All his mind ever thought about was that he just needed to see hinata at least once.
At the end of the day he received a phone call from Hinata telling him everything he had missed at practice. It was late at night and even though he knew he shouldn’t have fallen asleep he did. He wasn’t sure if it was how low and soothing Hinata’s voice had sounded or was it that with the speaker loud and filling up around his room compared to how loud he usually is. He must’ve been tired from today’s practice yet his voice was bouncing off the walls and it had felt as if he was there in the room with him.
When he woke up he saw a message from Hinata, one he wouldn’t even expect.
Good night kageyama, hope you feel well soon. it's kinda boring here.
He loved seeing Hinata’s exact reactions and seeing how wide his eyes got with a small hint of red rising up his cheeks. Especially when he would tuck Hinata’s hair right behind his ear when it was out of place when the two were alone or no one was looking at their direction.
All he could think about was the little things and that's what it really mattered to him. How Hinata would compliment him after practicing their quick attack to the very moment that it was some of the things he looked forward to during the day. The little things that really stuck with him made his heart almost pound out of his chest. It had felt way worse than getting nervous before a game.
Instead all he could focus on was his laughter, how it echoed through the gym or how it sounded perfectly. The way his eyes seemed to remind him of the sun yet Hinata himself was the sun. How his smile could brighten anyone’s day and could make you smile back. He found it funny sometimes whenever he saw Hinata starting to think seeing the way his eyebrows furrowed whenever he was concentrating.
or .. Just the way they would almost have their hands intertwined sitting in the back of the bus only to have their finger tips touch.
Kageyama could almost feel his very touch. His hands were soft and all he can think about is how his lips would feel pressed right against his. Knowing that it would just be a magic touch. The day he found out how much he liked Hinata and that his thoughts weren’t just about volleyball but slowly started to become about Hinata. He felt his senses starting to get overwhelmed. He couldn't help but be mesmerized more than the first time he ever saw him play volleyball. The more time they spent together he realized he longed to be with him. . He felt that everything he had known had just turned completely upside down.
He stood right in front of the gym seeing Hinata practice his receives right against the wall. He set his bag down almost calling out for him to practice their quick attack to only remember the note feeling heavy right against in his pocket. “Kageyama! I won this morning and that's 70 to 71.” His laughter was echoing through the gym making Kageyama just bluntly stare at him.
“Hinata I-I have to tell you something. Well I mean I have to give you something.” Seeing him come closer made Kageyama’s fight or flight senses almost starting to kick in. “Sure what is it,” Hinata replied with a radiating smile making Kageyama look away. He had felt like a complete mess but he could see that Hinata was reaching his hand out to receive what he was going to give him. Kageyama started to reach in his pocket taking the small note out, the note with the whole truth written on it.
Oh, how I adore you.
Almost handing it to him but in that very split second he could see a girl running towards them. He couldn’t tell who it was but in a split second he recognized her, it was Yachi. He watched how Hinata turned around to stare at her, absolutely mesmerized and Kagyema could feel himself die in the very spot. “Hinata!” She called out opening her arms holding him in a tight embrace seeing how quickly Hinata held onto her tightly. All Kagyeama could do was shove the note right back into his pocket feeling it crumble. Hinata was known for affection but this one felt more intimate while he held onto Yachi he whispered something into her ear making her laugh. The way her cheeks turned into a rosy shade just by his words being whispered and Hinata couldn’t help but to wonder.
What was it that he could whisper to her that he would never say to me?
Hinata pressed a gentle kiss on her cheek happily and he could see the pure happiness showing between the two. They were perfect for each other. Kageyama could never compete. “Shoyo I have to go back and help Kiyoko with some things, I’ll see you during lunch okay.” It was like they were in their own little world and Kageyama didn’t matter to HInata anymore. His only purpose was being his teammate and setting the ball perfectly to him. Yachi was laughing with a big smile on her face and Hinata was still holding onto her not wanting to let go.
It wasn’t until Yachi was facing Kageyama that she pushed Hinata away playfully,” Hi! I’m so sorry Kageyama I-” Kageyama could only keep a straight face while staring at the two,” Hi, don't worry about it Yachi. You should go help Kiyoko before Tanaka and Noya get to her.” Yachi laughed it off despite how cold Kageyama sounded,” Well I’ll see you two at lunch!” She started to run back wave bye at the two.
Hinata was practically beaming, “I’m sorry Kageyama, I knew I forgot to tell you something yesterday but can you believe it? Yachi is my girlfriend!” Kageyama was practically crumbling up the note right in his pocket and yet Hinata’s eyes shined filled with pride and pure happiness as if he was playing volleyball. Could it be that Hinata was just being friendly and everything that had thought was just made up. He felt his heart pound, his stomach churning with his palms getting sweaty. He could feel his throat closing almost as if he was about to throw up or cry.
“Congrats I just thought your brain was filled with pure volleyball, no brain cells at all but I have to go help a teacher with something. See ya at practice.” He could feel his thoughts surrounding everything he thought. He thought that this was it. What we could’ve been crashing down, they were never going to be nothing more than just being teammates.
He walked out. Walked out of the gym before Hinata could respond and he ran the second Kageyama felt he was out of his view. He could feel his eyes welding up with tears feeling as if everything was a lie. As if Hinata was just lying. Kageyama was never the type to let someone see right through him or even had the possibility of loving someone. Then again he never expected someone like Hinata to walk in his life and change everything. Maybe tomorrow he’ll wake up and nothing will change. Maybe this is just a bad dream.
He’ll wake up and Hinata might end up in his arms and he’ll be able to hear the sweet nothings he’ll never receive.
Only in dreams and fantasies could everything feel perfect.
He felt as if he were held hostage just by Hinata without him even knowing. He wanted to be left alone but if he could be alone with Hinata, alone with him. There was nothing he could really say or do to change the way he felt. The way he loved hinata. He never wanted any of this but,” I love you.” He whispered. Kageyama slowly got himself together and walked inside school just as if nothing happened knowing that he’ll have to pretend but it was nothing new.
It was as if Hinata was the sun and he was the moon. They could never be together.