Work Text:
She is home and not in jail and fuck! Fuck! She is home. With her kids and Judy, and her heart hasn’t stopped its erratic beating and her breath keeps escaping her lungs, and fuck, did her lungs collapse? On top of that, her legs feel like jello and deadweight at the same time, and she thinks she must have tripped over a root or something while looking for fucking Steve’s body with Perez and is lying concussed on the ground because she just fucking basically got away with murder and that can’t be right, can it?
But she is back, and Charlie is all over her and the relief in his eyes matches her fucking incredulity because here she fucking is. Home. With her kids. With Judy. With her family. And Judy… Judy looks about to faint and Jen thinks she must be feeling exactly as she is feeling because the woman has to grip the counter to stay standing up as she makes her way around it, one arm clutching the binder tightly to her chest as she tries to take a deep breath.
From then on it is a flurry of activity with Charlie bombarding her with questions and Henry listening intently trying to piece together what the two adults and his teenage brother are worrying and not saying much about but he is happy his mom is back from wherever she was. For once, Charlie is okay with her not answering his questions and he looks so mature and so childlike that Jen’s heart clenches painfully because that is her little boy and fuck, he has been dealt a shitty hand and is growing up so fast, and nothing she has done in the past months contributes to his future positively, but there, in his eyes, is the little boy that used to crawl into their bed when he had a nightmare or couldn’t sleep; afraid and seeking comfort from her. She loves it and hates it at the same time. She never meant to put him through such anguish.
An hour or three later (she is not sure how much time has passed what with not getting any sleep and walking around the woods convinced she was going to be charged with murder) Judy and Jen sit outside and have a talk and fuck, things are not good between them but they are not bad either and she is so glad to have Judy by her side, and fucking wishes she could take back all the hurt she’s caused her, because Judy truly is a fucking angel on earth. Somehow, Judy finds it in herself to forgive her and still loves her and Jen clings to that, to her, because she thinks she would otherwise fall apart, and hasn’t Judy done that for her since they met? Help her not crumble into pieces and waste away bitter and angry?
She takes a long shower after her talk with Judy, and when she comes down, a glass of red wine awaits her, lunch is ready and the kids have set the table, Judy has baked her a delicious cherry pie, and the kids volunteer to do the dishes and everything is perfect. She indulges the kids because why the fuck not and they go out to the arcade and to the beach for a few hours because it feels so freeing to do something she thought she would not ever get to do and she is not about to let it slip through her hands when she was so close to losing it all.
She is exhausted by the end of the day, and they settle for ordering pizza for dinner, watching a movie or two, and calling it an early night with no reproach from the kids and Jen is so happy she still thinks she is dreaming, but god, she needs to sleep. The kids shuffle sleepily up the stairs and she is not far behind; she kisses Charlie goodnight who can’t quite manage to grimace as he wants to, she tucks Henry in and suddenly it is just her and Judy in the hallway. The other woman simply grabs her gently by the wrist and leads her to her room and Jen doesn’t even pretend to hate the idea of sharing her bed with Judy (again) because she is exhausted and quite frankly, she needs it and is glad she did not have to be gross and debase herself and ask Judy to please spend the night with her.
She follows the other woman in and as soon as the door to her room is closed, July pulls her into her arms and she is clutching at her hard as she sniffles and tells her,
“Don’t you fucking do that again, Jen. Don’t you ever do that again.”
Jen nods as Judy pulls away and the other woman cradles her face gently, “Don’t you ever leave us again.” And Jen can only nod again, and Judy rests her forehead against hers and Jen closes her eyes resting her hands on Judy’s waist as she brings her close and holds her.
“Never again.” She says.
Judy nods, satisfied, and kisses Jen’s right cheek twice and then each of her hands. “Good.”
They get ready for bed, turn off the lights, slip under the covers and Judy snuggles up to her and says, “I’m so glad you are home,” into her ear and kisses cheek softly, the corner of her mouth, and then her neck before resting her head on her chest and wrapping herself around her.
“Me too, babe. Me too.” Jen pulls Judy even closer and kisses her forehead, heart still erratic but so fucking content. “I love you so fucking much, Judes.”
“I love you too.”