Chapter Text
We used to have those.
What?
Sleepovers. Me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. We’d play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about…you know, whatever.
*
What was it that Catra and Adora whispered about long into the night?
*
“Did you know,” Catra said, “there’s something to eat besides ration bars?
Adora gasped, blue eyes wide with wonder and chubby cheeks dimpled. “But I really like the gray bars.”
Catra scoffed and swatted her face, careful to keep her claws retracted, “Yea, dummy, I do too. But what if there’s something better than gray bars.”
“Oooh,” they said together.
“Think we can have some one day?” Adora asked, cuddling closer to Catra. She sneezed when Catra’s hair tickled her nose, but she didn’t move away.
“Yea, why wouldn’t we?” Catra said, already nodding off in sleep.
*
“Do you think Kyle is gonna like what we drew on his face?” Catra said one night. They lay giggling together under the blankets, facing each other, trying to stifle their laughter.
“Bunny nose!” Adora giggled. Then she quirked her head. “What’s a bunny?”
Catra shrugged. “I dunno. But the picture was funny. It looked squishy and soft, with a weird face, like Kyle.”
Adora giggled again, then she held Catra’s face in her hands. No one ever really touched her like this, except for Shadow Weaver. And those touches never felt good. But it felt ok when Adora touched her face like this.
“You have a weird face,” Adora said with a smirk.
Catra gasped and shoved Adora. “Take that back!”
Adora laughed. “Or what?”
Catra narrowed her eyes, then dug her claws into the soft spots along Adora’s sides. Adora shrieked, laughing as she fought off her tickling attack, and they were both crying with by the time the other cadets woke up. They were disciplined of course, but it was worth it.
*
As they got older, it was made clear to them that they couldn’t sleep in the same bed anymore. That Catra had her own bed, just above Adora’s, and that’s where she should be.
But Catra didn’t care. The rules were dumb. The adults were jerks. She didn’t have to listen to them.
So she’d wait until night fell and the last of the sentries had passed their section of the barracks, then she’d peek over the side of the bed.
“Psst, Adora,” Catra hissed. “You awake?”
Sometimes Adora would groan, fling an arm over her face, and scrunch her eyes up because she really wanted to keep sleeping. But no matter how sleepy she was, she’d roll over and tuck her legs in, giving Catra enough room to drop into bed. Catra would lie next to her on cold nights, or at the foot of the bed when the nights got too warm, and she’d fall asleep to the sound of Adora breathing. Catra was always back in bed before anyone woke the next morning.
But Adora wasn’t sleepy tonight.
“Yea,” she called back, her voice soft. Catra frowned. She knew when something was wrong.
She dropped into bed and lay facing Adora. Even in the darkness, she could see that Adora’s face was scrunched up in worry. “Hey,” Catra said, drawing closer so that her face was right next to Adora’s, “what’s wrong?”
Adora shook her head. “Nothing. I mean, nothing really…”
Catra shoved her a little. “Come on, stop being an idiot. Just tell me.” Something occurred to Catra and it burned inside her in a bad way. “Was it Shadow Weaver?” Catra asked, eyes narrowed, her voice bordering on a growl. She had always hated how Shadow Weaver treated her like trash, and Adora as the best thing ever. Hated when Shadow Weaver said things like, “You’re only here because Adora cares about you.”
Well screw you, Shadow Weaver. Adora chose me. She’ll choose me over you any day.
Adora shrugged, not able to read her thoughts. “Yes?”
“Ugh.” Catra rolled her eyes so hard she thought they’d roll out of her face. She plopped down next to Adora, staring up at the bunk bed over them.
“Don’t be like that,” Adora said, rising up on her elbow to look at her.
“Like what,” Catra said. She heard the petulant tone in her voice and really didn’t care. But Adora stayed quiet, just looking at her with worried eyes that Catra could feel without even looking at her. “Seriously, what did she say?” Catra asked, turning to face her.
Adora shrugged. “I mean, it doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen. It’s just….” She sighed. “She said I was coming along well, that I would be ready to be Force Captain in a couple years–”
“Well what’s wrong with that?” Catra shot back. She was actually happy for her friend. Catra didn’t want to be Force Captain, and Adora would be a good one. It just rankled having her be the chosen one all the time. “It’s what you’ve wanted. Heck, it’s what I want. When you become Force Captain, we can finally start working our way up from this dump. See the world.”
“Yea. That’s what I want,” Adora said. “But Shadow Weaver, she said something like…I’d be going alone. That I was meant for more than Kyle and Lonnie and Rogelio.” She paused, searching Catra’s face. “And you.”
Catra went still, her heart thudding in her chest. “What?” Then her claws raked the sheets and her hackles rose.
That bitch.
“You told her that was bullshit, right?” Catra said. She was furious that Shadow Weaver would– no take that back, of course she believed it, because Shadow Weaver had told her all her life that she wasn’t enough good enough for Adora. But the thought that she would actually try to tear them apart? No way!
“Catra,” Adora said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Of course, I told her. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
Catra huffed, her fur still standing on end but not bristling as much. “Damn right. What would you even do without me?” Then she pushed Adora hard, hard enough that she lost her balance and fell off the bed with a loud oof. “Why didn’t you say that sooner?”
From her position on the floor, Adora gave a familiar smirk. “Aww, were you worried about me?
“Ugh.” Catra said with as much disgust as possible. “Not even.”
Laughing, Adora jumped back on the bed and tackled Catra. “Admit it! You were worried about me.”
“Stop it, you idiot!” Catra said, trying not to laugh, her fury forgotten. Adora had her straddled and was trying to trap her hands. Catra trapped hers instead, lifting her hips and rolling so that she was on top of Adora. Adora was still laughing, smiling that stupid, dopey grin of hers. And Catra felt something she never really felt in this cold, dark place.
She felt warm.
Seeing Adora smile at her like that, knowing she was right there with her, made her feel warm.
And something else. For just a moment, it felt like heart skipped a beat, and it was almost hard to breath. Adora’s laughter faded away, but she still looked at Catra with this soft smile. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world for Catra to take Adora’s hands, which she had been keeping trapped, and twined them with her own. Adora bit her lip, and Catra would swear she was blushing, and that would be so embarrassing for her -- except Catra felt heat on her cheeks too.
She did not want to deal with that. So, she leaned forward until their faces were inches apart and said, “You’re such a dummy. If we woke up the rest of the barracks, it would have been your fault.” But the bite in her voice wasn’t there.
Adora let her get away with it though. She laughed quietly, sounding a little breathless, but she whispered, “It would have been your fault. You started it, remember?”
Catra rolled her eyes and rolled off Adora. She didn’t let go of her hand though. “Yea, well,” Catra said, running her fingers along the palm of Adora’s hand. “Totally your fault that I pushed you.”
“Whatever, Catra.”
They lay there for a while, not saying anything, not really doing anything. But just before she fell asleep, Catra asked one more thing.
“You wouldn’t leave without me, right? Even if Shadow Weaver told you to?”
“I wouldn’t leave without you, Catra.”
*
There were more nights like that. Nights where they stayed up way too late, making them sleepy and dark eyed the next day. Adora would still do Adora things, even on too little sleep, and Catra would roll her eyes and do just enough to keep up.
They talked about everything, all that they wanted to do when they were finally able to see the world beyond the Fright Zone. What did everything look like? What did all that food taste like? And were all those stories about the princesses real, including the haunted ones? Whatever the world would throw at them, they would conquer it together.
They didn’t talk about the thing they felt that night, or how it felt when their hands touched. Catra didn’t see the point. She and Adora would always be together. They could figure that part out later.
But then Adora left.
And Catra was alone.
With nothing to fill the space and the coldness of an empty bed. With no one to talk to late at night when everyone else had gone to sleep and the silence was deafening.
Adora said she wouldn’t leave without her.
Adora lied.
She chose someone else.
Catra took that feeling, that thing they never talked about, and shoved it deep down. Locked it in a box and threw away the key.
She was going to be fine. Better than fine. She’d show them.
She’d show all of them.