Work Text:
Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight
Here one day
Gone one night
Like a sunset
Dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon
❝ show me a hero
and I'll write you a tragedy ❞
"Neal!"
No.
No. No.
No.
This can't happen.
It can't. It just can't.
Peter Burke ran as fast as he could. Holding the gun in his trembling hands, he shot the perp who had now pulled the long knife he had stabbed Neal with.
Neal was falling down, his remarkably blue irises caught Peter's brown ones and all Peter saw was pain. Raw pain.
Peter caught his partner in his arms before he could hit the ground, drawing him closer to his chest as he lowered them both to the floor as gently as he could. Heart beating rapidly, he laid Neal on the ground and pulled his jacket off, gently laying it under the kid's head. And covered the stab wound with his both hands, trying not to panic as the blood continued to ooze.
Neal groaned and flinched, when Peter pressed hard to stop the bleeding. "Hey, hey. Easy buddy, I got you. I got you." Peter felt tears build in his eyes as he registered the pain lines forming on his partner's face. "The paramedics are coming, Neal. You'll be okay."
You have to be okay.
Peter was trying hard to hold in the sobs that were threatening to rise in his throat when Neal hands covered his. Peter's eyes rose up to meet the startling blue gaze. A weak smile forming on Neal's face. "It's okay, P'ter."
No, it's not okay, Peter wanted to yell as he stared at his partner's bleeding pale body on the cold concrete floor. Wishing to God that it wasn't real, that none of it was real. That the red liquid covering his C.I's once crisp white shirt wasn't real. It can't be. He couldn't lose Neal. The one he had come to love as a little brother, as a son. Peter couldn't imagine the world without Neal. He couldn't. Nothing would ever be the same if he lost him. He knew he would lose a huge part of himself if he lost him. He couldn't. Peter's heart cracked painfully and a broken sob escaped his lips.
Not him.
Please God, not Neal.
Not his Neal.
"Hold on, okay. You have to hold on. The ambulance is on its way, Neal. Please hold on."
Neal shook his head lightly. "T-thank you, P'ter." He croaked out and Peter couldn't stop himself. He slid his arm under Neal's shoulders and pulled him in his lap, drawing him closer and cradling his head in the crook of his arm.
"Don't. You're going to be okay." Peter said, trying to reassure himself but couldn't stop the tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry." Peter sobbed brokenly, "I'm sorry, I should've been faster."
"P'ter, no." Neal squeezed his hand, the one still covering the wound, slick with blood and gave him a small sad smile. "It'll be a-alright."
"No, Neal. I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you." Peter's voice cracked as he choked pleadingly drawing his friend even closer. "I can't."
"T-thank y-you for everything, P'ter." Neal wasn't hearing any of the things Peter was saying, he was blinking continuously, his heartbeat weak, breath labored and Peter knew he was trying hard to keep his eyes open. "Thank y-you for taking t-the deal and giving m-me a f-family."
"No! No. Stop it, Neal. You aren't going anywhere." Peter was shaking his head furiously but it was as if he was denying the inevitable. "I'm proud of you, Neal." He whispered shakely. Because Neal had to know. He had to know how proud Peter was of Neal. Of his Neal.
Neal smiled, a warm genuine smile and Peter heart clenched because this was the last time he'd see it. "L-love you." Neal whispered, his eyes closing. His hand that was holding Peter's went limp and dropped on the floor beside him.
"Neal!" No no no no. "Neal!" Peter yelled, shaking the younger man but he wasn't breathing anymore. "Neal! Please wake up! Neal!" Hot sobs tore from his throat as he begged Neal, begged God, but Neal was gone. His Neal was gone.
"You can't leave me, Neal. Come on. Neal!"
Peter cried out loudly, not knowing what to do anymore. He pulled Neal, his head rolling listlessly on his arm, and Peter buried his face between his shoulder and neck and sobbed furiously.
Neal was gone.
Peter's world shattered as he clutched his partner's lifeless body tighter to his chest. Neal.
He couldn't do this. He couldn't. He couldn't imagine his life without Neal in it. It seemed dull and grey. Without his blinding smile, his constant complaining, the light in his eyes when he figured out the case, the mischievous look in his eyes when he bragged about the seemingly impossible things he did, the twinkle he got when he saw something beautiful and pleasing to him, his constant jabs, his affectionate gaze when Peter said something right, his beaming smile when Peter told him he had done the right thing, his presence that bought light and laughter to the dull office, to his home, to his life.
No.
He couldn't.
×××
Five minutes later, Jones and Diana and a few other agents arrived with the paramedics, it had been too late. It was written all over their boss's face, the grief and pain lines evident as he sat beside Neal Caffrey.
Neal who wasn't breathing. Whose heart had stopped. Neal, who was just lying there covered in blood, but his face looked peaceful. And even if it was pale, he looked like he was just sleeping. Because Neal Caffrey couldn't die.
No.
Diana refused to believe it.
But as Jones pulled Peter away, his own eyes filling with tears and as the paramedics laid his prone body on the gurney, covering him with a blanket, from head to toe. It was too real.
It was too fucking real.
A choked sob escaped her lips. She had seen a lot of deaths in her life but this was different. Because this was Neal Caffrey. The godamn son of a bitch had wormed his way into her heart and she couldn't imagine not having him in her life anymore, not having his teasing anymore, not seeing the ridiculously big grin he wore all the damn time. He wasn't allowed to die like this. It was soon. It was way too soon.
Her eyes found Peter, who was standing silently, staring blankly at the spot where Neal was, where the spot was still covered in his blood. Peter's shirt and hands were covered in Neal's blood too. And the empty look in his eyes tore her heart into pieces.
Diana couldn't imagine what it was like for him. She knew how close the two had become, heck every member of the team knew. Some of them were even jealous of the bond they shared.
Diana wiped the tears from her face, she had to call Elizabeth. Peter needed her right now, and Elizabeth had to know. They both needed each other.
She pulled out her phone with shaking hands and dialed El's number but all she wanted was to cry her heart out and hold onto her son. But now was not the time. Peter needed his team.
"Diana?" Elizabeth picked up on the second ring, her voice was filled with anxiety. "Is Peter okay?"
No. No one was okay anymore.
"Yes, Peter is f-fine." Hating how her voice cracked, Diana mentally cursed herself. She was grown, brave woman for goodness sake.
"What happened, Diana?" Elizabeth demanded, worriedly.
"Elizabeth, Neal's gone."
There was no answer for a moment. And then, "He ran?"
I wish he had. I wish he was somewhere on a beach, sipping a martini with a hot woman at his side.
"No." Diana choked out. "He's dead."
And then she heard Elizabeth breath hitching and the sound of her sobbing softly.
With all of her strength, Diana controlled herself from doing the same. "Elizabeth, Peter needs you. I'm sending an agent--"
"No, n-no." Elizabeth choked out. "I'll take a cab."
The line went dead. And another sob surprised Diana but she firmly held it in. Now wasn't the time.
×××
When Elizabeth had gotten the call, she knew something was wrong. An image of Peter lying in a hospital bed had her heart beating rapidly in her chest.
But when she heard Diana's choked voice. She couldn't believe her ears.
Because it couldn't happen. No. It was wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen.
Neal Caffrey couldn't just die like that.
And standing in the middle of her office with Yvonne, she broke apart. Her knees gave out as hot sobs escaped her lips, Elizabeth could feel Yvonne holding her, comforting her but she couldn't hear a word.
Neal Caffrey couldn't just die.
She had to go to Peter.
Oh, god. Peter.
Elizabeth suddenly stood up. Peter needed her right now. She couldn't imagine the pain, he was going through. She remembered vividly how broken Peter had been when Neal had ran to Cepe Verde. The drinking at night, his silence, his staring at one spot for too long.
And now this time, he couldn't just go and bring him back home. And she couldn't imagine how much pain he could be feeling right now.
Oh god.
She distinctly heard herself shakily asking Yvonne to call her a taxi. She remembered Yvonne driving her to Peter.
Elizabeth found Peter leaning against a wall, his eyes swollen red, tear marks on his face, his expression blank as he stared at nothing. Peter's shirt and hands were covered in blood, Neal's blood. Elizabeth's heart clenched at the sight of her broken husband.
"Peter."
His eyes found hers as he whispered her name brokenly. Elizabeth quickly threw herself in his arms. Sobs wrecking her petite body. Peter's arms were tight around hers and she didn't know who was holding who.
×××
Two days passed. And now it was the day of Neal's funeral.
That day, Elizabeth had called June, delivering the worst news ever.
Diana had come home to find Mozzie who had just put Theo to bed. She had broken down in his arms and even though Mozzie kept saying that it was impossible but he had broken apart too.
Peter had called Sara. He had just said those two dreadful words and the line had went dead with a clatter. He knew the phone had fallen from her hand. Four hours later, she had texted Peter that she would be there soon.
Mozzie had called Alex. She had just went silent after he told, asking when the funeral was going to be held. And that was it.
Today was the day of Neal's funeral.
The day was dull as dark clouds covered the sky, it was raining softly.
As Peter clutched Elizabeth's hand, he stared at the sight of people entering. There were so many people. Faces he could recognize and faces he couldn't recognize. Some of them were the people Neal had saved the day he died. Some were people who Neal had helped during a case. People like Gless and Lyndsey, Sophie Covington and so many of them. So many of the agents were there too. The White Collar team, even Agent Rice and Agent Ruiz were there too. Some of other divisions agents were there too. Even Hughes, Bancroft and Bruce.
Peter couldn't help but feel a surge of pride rush through him. But Neal wasn't here. He wasn't here to witness how much he had mattered to do many people. How much he mattered to Peter.
Peter couldn't finish his eulogy for Neal. He couldn't. He just choked on too many words. Mozzie had completed his eulogy with broken wrods, June had too. Diana had too and she couldn't hold back the sob that ripped through her. Peter wanted to cry too but he couldn't form any more tears.
Neal Caffrey was buried beside Kate.
Neal had said that once to Peter. That if he died one day, he wanted to be buried next to her. And Peter had said that he had to wait eighty years for that because he wanted to see him with white hair.
The awfully sad day was over but it was going to be a sad life. Not having Neal with him anymore. Not having Neal Caffrey in this world anymore.
"It'll never be alright, Neal."
Peter whispered softly into the night, at Neal's apartment, staring at the recent painting he was working on.
Neal Caffrey was gone way too soon.
×××
Two years later, Peter found himself in front of Neal's grave. Like every other week. It was his second anniversary.
There were a lot of flowers already on his grave, Peter could also spot origami flowers too.
He laid the boquet of forget-me-nots and Lily's gently on his partner's grave.
Tears filled his eyes as sat next to the grave. "Not a day goes that I don't miss you, Neal. You know sometimes I just wonder if I was just a little faster. You'd still be here with me, Neal." Peter chuckled, a broken sound. "Your sentence would've been over and you'd be enjoying your free life--" he choked on a sob. "I named my son after you, Neal George Burke. You should've seen him. He is just like you. Not even eight months have gone and he's already trying to escape."
And then Peter couldn't stop himself from crying. "Godamn it, Neal. I miss you so fucking much. So much that it hurts." He buried his face in his hands. "Why, Neal? Why'd you have to go so soon?"
The wind picked up. It caressed him softly. And then it happened. He felt like someone was just beside him. It was Neal. He could feel it. He could feel the warmth next to him and it was Neal. It was too familiar. Neal. He was here.
"Neal?"
Peter whispered softly and the wind wrapped around him as if giving him a hug. Peter felt a deep peace within his soul that he hadn't felt since the day Neal had been ripped away from. "I love you, buddy."
The wind picked up again and Peter could feel the words surrounding him.
"See you soon, partner."
×××
Peter was eighty four years old when he took his last breath. He died peacefully with his wife, his son and his son's wife beside him.
Light. That was all Peter saw when he opened his eyes. There was so much light.
And the light faded away. There was a huge garden, fresh green filled with flowers and fruits.
And then he saw him.
Neal.
Neal was there sitting on a bench, he looked younger. Like the first time Peter had arrested him. He saw Peter, and a warm smile made his way to his face. The one Peter had missed so much.
"Took you long enough, partner."
And Peter laughed. Finally at peace.