Chapter Text
There she was, walking down the aisle in her white gown. She looked like a princess with her train not ending for what seems like miles. It’s exactly what she wanted and no price was too much for MC to get her dream dress. We are surrounded by our best friends and people I would lay my life on the line for. This isn’t the space station that I always pictured but all that matters is after today she will be called wife. The veil covered her face but she radiates happiness in a way that is so contagious you can’t help but smile. Which is why I am smiling even though it's the saddest day of my life.
She is not going to be called my wife, but Jumin’s wife after this ceremony. Every step she takes closer to us I feel closer to my whole world ending. I love her so much but in the end, I pushed her towards him. Which is for the best, she looks happier with him. Her smiles when she is with him are twice as wide as ours so I know this is what’s for the best.
Right now is the time to say something, stop this wedding, and be the main character in my own life. Finally, get the girl and live happily ever after. The sad part is I don’t deserve any of that. I don’t deserve to be happy, I don’t deserve to be loved and I especially don’t deserve to have MC’s love. Everyone tells me one day I’ll have what they have but I know I will never feel that happiness again. It was taken from me as soon as I saw in Jumin’s search history engagement rings. It was that moment I froze and what was really just minutes felt like hours knowing I could have changed the outcome.
The vows are beautiful, both professing how much they love each other in front of everyone who means the world to them. The only thing that snaps me back to reality is hearing him say “I do.” It causes my stomach to turn but at least on the outside, I can fake some happiness.
Here is the moment where she says those dreaded words. I’m pleading hoping she can read my mind and say “no” but that’s not realistic. Her mouth is opening but for a split second, it seems as though she looked at me. Maybe hoping I would prevent her from saying those words that will bind her with another man, not just any man but a fellow RFA member. It’s funny how love could make reality and fiction intertwined so I see what I want to see. There is no reason she would look at me when the man of her dreams is holding her hands.
“I do, I take Jumin Han to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
The cheers were to be expected but I was stunned, she went through with it. I’m trying not to take it personal but it hurts. So I do what any heartbroken guy would and cheer louder than anyone. Putting on a show even Zen would be impressed by.
MC glances at me before she’s running down the aisle and I pray my smile hides the truth. That we both know I was happier with her.
The reception is fancy just like Jumin wanted it to be. I can’t help but wonder if this is what she wanted. I want to believe I know her better than anyone but I have no right to say that while she’s dancing with her husband. I think now's the time for a drink or two.
Hours of watching her and imagining she’s watching me the party is finally over. My empty cups mock me but there are only two so I feel fine. I just needed something to numb the pain even for a moment. My feet are dragging me towards her, she’s thanking the guest for coming while her husband is somewhere else. Looking proper just as Jumin must have taught her. When I finally reach her all I could muster is,
“You look happier, you do. I knew one day you’d find the one for you.” whispering in her ear so only we can have this moment together. Before she can say one of these generic thank yous I leave. Not able to handle her words because I’m already so close to falling apart.
The drive home is filled with all the memories of how I treated her. I shouldn’t have yelled, I should have made time for her, I should have told her how I felt instead of letting her walk out that door into another man’s arms. Hurting her will forever be my biggest regret and now I suffer alone still in love with MC. I want her, no I need her but it’s too late.
The tears slowly pour down and it’s making it harder to see the road. Each twist and turn lures me to speed up just a bit. It calls me to forget about this life and just see what will happen if I drive off. I close my eyes for just a moment.
A loud honk and a blinding light shock me up and I slam the brakes. I was a second from going off the road, luckily a car passed by and alerted me up. My hands are trembling as I look out to see across the cliff that I could have fallen over.
That was too close of a call, but I’m so close to home. I can’t be a bother to anyone and I just want to be alone. Wiping the tears I feel the streak they left on my face reminding me of why I feel this way. Why I deserve to feel this way.
Starting to drive again I quickly fall into the same situation. Wanting to speed up, listening to the voice inside my head that is telling me to just go a little faster, close my eyes and it will all be fine.
This time there was no warning, n honking nobody to save me from myself. Before I knew it I opened my eyes to see I’m falling. Down, down, down in darkness. What only takes a few seconds feels like I’m going in slow motion. Images of her are all that passes through my mind, from the moment she entered that apartment to her looking so beautiful in her wedding dress. I don’t think this time I get to be around a day longer because images of MC flashed before my eyes. And I know she was my whole life. MC please know that I will forever love you to the moon and back. You can’t hear me or help me this time but that’s okay because I know he’ll take care of you. I’m sorry I’m saying this all too late but just know if I had the chance to start over…
It all fades to darkness as the car crashes. One loud noise then there was only silence, just like his thoughts.
A few hours later 707 was found when he didn’t appear in any chat rooms and was not answering any phone calls. MC and Jumin were on their honeymoon where they promised each other no phones so they were unaware of what was happening back home.
I can hear the voices of my friends but my eyes won’t open. My body feels like everything is broken and no matter how hard I try to move no toes will wiggle or fingers will lift.
Yoosung cries next to me and it sounds like Zen is comforting him. I can make out Jaehee’s voice but it sounds like she is talking to someone, probably on the phone.
The only voice I want to hear is not here. She’s off doing who knows what with Jumin. Gosh, he already has my precious Elly he didn’t have to take MC as well. I shouldn’t be thinking this way but while I’m here this is all that comes across my mind. All my thoughts while Yoosung cries.
A week passes, MC and Jumin are back. They immediately rush to the hospital where Seven still lays in a coma unable to move.
Jumin goes in but doesn’t stay long. Telling his wife that they need him but he’ll be back shortly. MC says goodbye and goes to take a seat next to the unconscious man. She runs her fingers through his red locks as tears slide down her face.
“Luciel, what have you gotten yourself into? I was gone for less than a week.” She hiccuped through the sobs as she tried to talk to him. “You really can’t do anything with me huh?”
MC holds his hand, sighing at the familiar way they intertwine. “ Why? If this was going to happen I would have…”
Taking a moment to compose herself MC takes a deep breath. Afraid of what she’s about to say. “I would have never married another, I prayed at the wedding you would have stopped it but you smiled so wide. I looked at you right before I said those words but I could only see happiness.
Don’t you see, it’s always been you. It will forever be you. Why don’t you understand,” she puts her head on the crook of his neck not caring about the tears that fall from her face. Only wanting to be close to him once again. Pausing she looks at his face and kisses his cheek. “ I was happier with you.”