Chapter Text
"Come on, Eds! We're almost there!" Richie sprung up with glee as they came closer to reaching the hill covered in bright green grass. Running behind his friend, Eddie couldn't help but notice how softly the sunset mixed with pink and orange had silhouetted Richie's figure. His silly dark curls bobbed up and down in rhythm with his running.
Eddie always found Richie very peculiar... and strangely alluring. Not like anyone he had met before, such a big mouth and rough or playful exterior, yet he had this ability to be so sweet and gentle for only one person as far as Eddie knew. Maybe that appeared basic, but you didn't meet many people like that in Derry.
~~~
He could recall the night they had a sleepover on Eddie's fourteenth birthday; The Losers Club spent the night at Bill's house and stayed up till early twilight. Eddie and Richie were the last remaining awake, once Richie knew everyone had fallen asleep he became much more cuddly and had toned down the jokes. Leaning on Eddie's shoulder and hugging his arm, Richie told him, "I'm surprised you aren't screaming at me for touching you with my infectious germs," with little intent on Eddie to take it jokingly.
Rolling his eyes, Eddie assured, "We swam in sewage water, Richie. You hugging my arm isn't going to bother me, even though you weigh as much as a horse."
"It doesn't bother you?" Richie peered at his friend with vulnerable doe eyes that he wouldn't dare share with any other soul. The look he gave Eddie... it's like he was anxious and flighty at the same time, as if he expected his friend to push him away.
"No, it's actually comfy. I like it." How could Eddie crush the heart of that face? Normally he would probably tell Richie that he thought it was a bit too touchy, but now would just be cruel. Plus, he did take a liking to it. He didn't feel suffocated being around Richie, but he didn't feel too distant either. Not that he has an interest in telling anyone these thoughts. The relieved smile Richie had was faint, but Eddie could tell a huge weight had been lifted from the boy's shoulders. If only Eddie knew why Richie was so concerned...
It took a while, but they fell asleep in each other's arms, waking up to the rest of the group lightly poking fun at them. Unfortunately, it caused Richie to go home early, possibly from embarrassment. Or maybe he had something hidden away, and his fight or flight response chose the ladder.
~~~
The utter euphoria they felt once finally reaching the top of the hill was almost dream-like. Beautiful, pink skies, soft green grass, a very soft breeze hitting their cheeks ever so soundly.
"Helloooo? Earth to Edward!" Richie drawled, waving his hand in front of Eddie's face. "Don't fall asleep, I don't feel like carrying you home."
Eddie sighed, "What a way to ruin the moment,"
"Ah, the exact words your mom let out when I moaned someone else's name!"
Eddie's brows furrowed in mild anger, continuing to push Richie which led to playful wrestling on the grass. Of course, Richie didn't put up much of a fight against his friend like usual. For a reason unknown, he didn’t like to have all control over things. Maybe it made him feel too anxious, or maybe it was just in his blood to stay away from being a leader, no matter how much the idea had been shoved down his throat. He would only be in control when he felt it was necessary. And he never liked trying to be controlling over Eddie, seeing as how he already has to deal with his mother doing that. When Eddie had the chance to lead the group he seemed… happier. More energetic. It would be wrong to try and strip that tiny bit of freedom away, regardless if Richie actually could or not. It kind of felt like a perfect match for them to be friends. Richie didn’t have to act like someone he wasn’t, while Eddie got to be free.
They rolled down the hill laughing hysterically during their quarrel. It ended with them at the bottom, dizzy and still holding each other, Eddie being on top of Richie as the taller boy lay on the grass and trying to regain his composure. Eddie, having his own composure back already, had the chance to look at his friend beneath him. All he heard was the breathless laugh of Richie’s, his brain blocking out anything else that might have rung through his ears normally. While his eyes were shut tight joyously with his glasses knocked partially off, a big goofy smile, Eddie noticed how long and droopy Richie's eyelashes were, how here and there you saw a beauty mark on his cheek or forehead. Those messy curls had somehow become even messier, with a few leaves and some dirt that had been picked up off the ground while they were tumbling down the hill.
Finally, he opened his eyes, revealing amber rings illuminated by the dim sunlight. Eddie had always heard that blue eyes were the prettiest, but he found that this particular set was the most gorgeous he'd ever seen. Should he be thinking this way about another boy?
"Eddie? You okay there, bud?" Richie laughed nervously, becoming increasingly more intimidated by his friend's staring. Was something wrong? Did he make Eddie uncomfortable? Damn, not again... now he was starting to panic. Eddie shook his head, most likely trying to clear his mind. He replied, "Yeah, I just spaced out."
"...On my face?" Richie asked with a grin growing on his cheeks.
"No!"
"Ohhh, I see. Staring at my beauty?" Richie said, following it up by making a dopey face which caused Eddie to giggle. "Beauty, huh? Whatever you wanna call it, Rich."
Far away, footsteps made their way over to the boys. In a rush, Richie pushed Eddie off and stood up to see who it was, completely changing his demeanor. It was only a couple holding hands while walking down the street, they hadn't even looked at the boys. He sighed with relief, forgetting for a minute that Eddie was right there. Of course, he questioned with annoyance, "What was that about?"
"What are you talking about?" Richie asked, forcing his voice back down to a cold, low pitch. Much unlike his chirpy one from before.
Eddie frowned at that. In a frustrated bark he said, "You're acting weird again! Whenever you think someone is watching us you act all different." Suddenly, the air had turned thick and heavy, even louder than it was only moments ago.
"Pfft, what have you been smoking?" Richie tried desperately to play it off. In a panic, he said, “Oh! My mom wants me to come home before dark, I have to go.”
His friend, however, wasn’t going to keep putting up with this nonsense. Eddie grabbed hold of Richie’s jacket sleeve, pulling him back. He asked, “It’s not even close to dark, why do you always leave like this?!” There was no venom to his words, only curiosity.
Richie’s heart stopped, like the wind and air fleeted both from around him and from his lungs. He felt sweat drip down his flushed face, tears painfully tugging at the corners of his eyes. Quickly, he tore his arm away and started to run, not knowing what else to do.
Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back, he repeated over and over under his breath. Maybe if he kept running, he could get away from his sick thoughts. The thoughts that had tormented him for years. But he knew he could never really get away, no matter how far he ran. He didn’t even know where he was going at this point.
Memories flooded to the top of his head. He remembers doing this same thing before…
“What the hell is going on?” Richie asked himself, turning the street corner to peek at the situation. He had heard fighting from far away, wondering just what was happening.
He was horrified at the sight. A gay couple that was well known around town, being brutally beaten by a group of teenage boys. He saw the blood pooling on the ground around the lovers, sending chills through his blood.
For some reason, he decided to be brave. Throwing a rock to get their attention, he yelled at the abusers, “Hey! Why don’t you guys go fuck with someone else?” They all turned to face him, making Richie grow stiff. One of the teenagers spoke to the rest, and they finally let the couple free. But in return, they began to run over to Richie.
“Shit, shit, SHIT.” Turning on his heel, he hoped that the couple had time to go home while these jackasses were chasing Richie and shouting slurs at him.
Never had he felt so scared, if they caught him he would NOT have even the slightest chance of making it out alive. Fourteen-year-old Richie against six seventeen-year-olds? They’re probably worse than fighting that damn clown in the Neibolt house. Luckily for him, he could run faster than all of them and soon, he found himself hiding in an alley downtown. Sure, a horrible place to hide, but where else was he supposed to go? Home? Then they would know his address! At least he had time to catch his breath, he can’t remember the last time he actually sprinted like this…
Richie remembered having a nightmare after that, one that he wouldn’t forget anytime soon.
He saw his house up in the distance, feeling some of the tension release from his body. “Thank fuck!” He yelled.
In the house, the warm air hit him instantly, and he considered resting. Of course, he can’t until he is hidden from everyone. So once he locked his bedroom door shut, he pressed his back against it, sitting down just in case anyone tried to break in. Every breath he took became more painful, his hands trembled on the floor, and he kept darting his eyes across the room to see if anyone just so happened to be there with him, watching him, waiting for him to crack, so they could hurt him.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to force himself not to cry. Then he would just be proving that he was what everyone thought he was… right?
“Come on, Trashmouth! You’re a man, act like one!” He said, scolding himself yet knowing full-well he could never be the way people said he was meant to be.
…