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Knock knock.
Kim Dokja looked up from his phone. “Come in,” he called, pressing the power button and laying it face down onto the bed.
He heard the click of the doorknob being turned, and Yoo Jonghyuk’s form appeared in the doorway. “Breakfast,” the other said as he brought a tray in.
There was a small bread roll and a bowl of porridge with minced pork meat and boiled egg. “Did you make this?” Kim Dokja asked as he brought a spoonful of porridge to his lips. “It’s really good.”
“Mm,” Yoo Joonghyuk nodded as he set the tray onto Kim Dokja's lap. “How are you feeling?”
“Same as yesterday,” Kim Dokja sighed. “My legs are still a little bit weak.”
“That’s expected. You’ve only been back for a while.”
Kim Dokja looked away with a small smile. Yoo Joonghyuk was right, of course. It had only been two or so weeks since Kim Dokja had returned to Earth, finally home with his companions. Han Sooyoung nearly made him pass out the second he woke up, only to be stopped by Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung holding her back. Jung Heewon chastised him for leaving them behind again, Lee Hyunsung nodding along. Lee Jihye commented loudly how she was okay with him not coming back, although her eyes were puffy and red. Yoo Sangah patted his arm, telling him how glad and relieved she was. Yoo Joonghyuk stood in the back with his arms crossed, but made his way to the bed when everyone else left.
“You’re a fool.”
Kim Dokja smiled, “I know,” he laughed weakly. “I really am.”
Yoo Joonghyuk sat down on the chair that was next to the bed, a stern expression on his face. “Tell me. What were you doing for all of those years?”
The day after he woke up, the others visited one by one, Han Sooyoung slapping his wrist the second he allowed her to. She yelled at him but Kim Dokja could see the tears in her eyes, and at the end, she gave in and pressed her head against the bedsheets. “You absolute dumbass,” she said, her voice broken. “How could you do that to us?”
Kim Dokja looked at her with a complicated gaze and put his hand on her hair. “I’m sorry,” he said, even though he knew she wouldn’t believe it. “I won’t leave without telling anyone anymore.”
“You better not,” Han Sooyoung looked up, pushing her hair back. “Or I’ll actually kill you.”
She left a few moments later, setting a piece of lemon candy on the nightstand. She shot him one last glare before shutting the door behind her.
Yoo Sangah came in next, a small smile on her face. “Welcome back, Dokja-ssi,” she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’ve missed you a lot.”
“Me too,” Kim Dokja sighed. “I’m-”
“You don’t need to say it,” Yoo Sangah shook her head. “You being back is enough. I’m sure no one will accept it, anyway. Save your words, we don’t want you to disappear again.”
Kim Dokja looked away. “You’re right,” he said after a moment. “I’m glad to be back.”
Yoo Sangah stayed for a little while, telling him what had happened in the years that he was gone. “You know,” Yoo Sangah said before she left. “Joonghyuk-ssi missed you the most. Don’t make him worry so much ever again, you understand?”
He blinked in surprise but nodded, Yoo Sangah’s smile widening a bit before she disappeared behind the door.
The next two made their appearances known before they even entered the door, Kim Dokja hearing them yell at each other as their voices approached.
“I want to see Dokja-hyung first!”
“No! I said I was going to visit Ahjussi before you did!”
“You two can both go at the same time, you know,” Yoo Sangah’s voice cut in.
The door burst open later, Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung rushing in. “You’re back,” Shin Yoosung’s eyes widened as if she had expected him not to be there. “You’re really back!”
“Yes,” Kim Dokja reached out and smoothed out her hair. “I’m back for good.”
“You really made us worried,” Lee Gilyoung had tears at the corners of his eyes. “I thought… we thought…”
Lee Gilyoung broke off into quiet sobs and Kim Dokja patted the child’s shoulder. They stayed in silence for a while, the children muffling their sobs and holding onto Kim Dokja's hands like he would disappear if they let go. Eventually they fell asleep, eyes closed as they rested their heads on the mattress. Kim Dokja smiled as he studied their features, noting that they looked more mature now.
A wave of nostalgia hit him as he remembered their adventures together, watching the children tame beasts and impress constellations and incarnations alike. It all seemed so long ago, and he was glad to see them again before anything happened again.
The sun set and Yoo Sangah returned, looking for the two of them. She roused the children, turning on the lights and telling them it was time for dinner. “Joonghyuk-ssi will bring the food up to you,” Yoo Sangah said as she led the children out.
For some reason, that made him kind of nervous.
Kim Dokja turned on his phone that was lying on the side of the bed. He looked at the dull screen that shined faintly, staring at it blankly before setting it down again. Outside, reds and oranges painted the sky, a flock of birds flying into the horizon. How long has it been since he last saw a sunset like this?
He couldn’t remember.
“Kim Dokja.”
Kim Dokja turned at the sound of his name, surprised to see Yoo Joonghyuk standing there, as he didn’t hear the door open. “Hey.”
He tried to shift his sitting position as it felt slightly uncomfortable before wincing in pain. Yoo Joonghyuk quickly set down the tray of food and looped his arm around Kim Dokja's back. “Don’t injure yourself again,” he said.
“I don’t think moving around is much compared to before,” Kim Dokja joked half-heartedly.
“But you’re also much weaker than before.”
Kim Dokja pouted as Yoo Joonghyuk let go and handed the tray of food to him. “Are you going to baby me until I go back to normal, then?”
“Do you want me to?”
“I-” Kim Dokja cut himself off, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. He mumbled something that Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t quite catch before picking up the chopsticks on the tray and quickly taking a bite of rice.
(He said, “That wouldn’t be so bad.”)
Yoo Joonghyuk watched him silently, reminding Kim Dokja of the 1863rd turn Yoo Joonghyuk who obeyed his every command. Kim Dokja set down the chopsticks on the bowl, extending his arm to touch Yoo Joonghyuk's face, brushing against the smooth skin where the scar was in his previous turn.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” Kim Dokja smiled. “It’s just… hard to believe. You’re real, I’m not dreaming…”
“Wouldn’t it make more sense if I were the one to say that?” Yoo Joonghyuk frowned. “You’re the one who goes off and disappears without a word.”
“Ah, you’re right,” Kim Dokja said apologetically. “But I’m back now, so it should be okay, right?”
“Only if you don’t disappear again.”
Kim Dokja blinked in surprise, having expected Yoo Joonghyuk to say, like you have to pay with your life or something. But Yoo Joonghyuk's tone was strangely fond, and Kim Dokja knew that Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t the type of person to joke around.
“Were you really that worried?” Kim Dokja asked quietly, already knowing the response.
“Yes.”
Yoo Joonghyuk leaned into Kim Dokja's touch, and Kim Dokja didn’t have the heart to pull away. He felt a fluttering sensation in his chest as he looked at Yoo Joonghyuk's face. The food on the tray grew cold, but neither of them seemed to care.
Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung visited the next day. “I would slap you,” Jung Heewon said as she entered. “But I’m sure Sooyoung-ssi already did that.”
The two of them chastised Kim Dokja, but not without a friendly tone. “I’m happy you’re back,” Lee Hyunsung stood by Kim Dokja's bed. “I don’t think there has been a day where we didn’t pray for your return.”
“Even Jihye-ssi missed you, even if she tries not to show it,” Jung Heewon pointed out. “We all did. Hurry up and recover, Dokja-ssi.”
Lee Jihye did end up visiting, although Kim Dokja could guess that she was coerced into doing so by Jung Heewon and Han Sooyoung. “Actually, Master told me to come visit you,” Lee Jihye said, as if she could read his mind.
“That Yoo Joonghyuk? What’s gotten into him? Before he would’ve never said something like that.”
“Times change, you know. People change, too. After all, we all had the idea that you might not return for a long time when you disappeared. So when you returned, we all decided that we’re going to do the most that we can for you.”
Because we don’t know when you’ll disappear again, the unsaid words reached Kim Dokja's ears.
“Thank you for worrying, Jihye,” Kim Dokja looked at the girl, whose voice had become shaky by the end. “I told Sooyoung-ssi that I won’t leave without telling anyone anymore.”
“Good,” Lee Jihye left after that, having nothing else she wanted to say.
Others visited as well, including Aileen, who checked up on him every so often to make sure he wouldn’t pass out or suddenly lose consciousness. Lee Seolhwa and his mother came by, exchanging short conversations before they left again.
Yoo Joonghyuk was the only person who visited regularly, mostly out of duty to deliver meals. But he stayed until Kim Dokja finished every time, without complaint. It was a strange feeling, for Kim Dokja to be taken care of like this.
“You know, I could call you back when I finish,” Kim Dokja said, one day. “I don’t want to waste your time.”
“Don’t talk while eating,” Yoo Joonghyuk retorted, brushing a grain of rice off of Kim Dokja's cheek. “It is not a bother.”
“Hm,” Kim Dokja flushed before taking a bite out of his food.
He looked up and was about to open his mouth when Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes met his, and Kim Dokja quickly averted his gaze. Recently, he had been feeling nervous around Yoo Joonghyuk, even though the latter did nothing out of the ordinary.
Maybe the next day he’d ask Han Sooyoung. He knew she’d laugh at him, but it was a question that he wanted to know the answer to. Yoo Joonghyuk silently stood up after Kim Dokja handed him the tray, bidding him goodnight before turning off the light and closing the door behind him.
He felt his heart unclench after hearing the click.
“Ha?” Han Sooyoung crossed one leg over the other, putting her elbow against her thigh and resting her cheek against her palm. “You’re asking this now?”
“What do you mean?” Kim Dokja tilted his head in confusion.
“All of these years,” Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes. “And you still don’t get it? You’re that dense? You, Kim Dokja, the Demon King of Salvation, are more stupid than a rock.”
Kim Dokja looked at her, hopelessly lost.
She shook her head as she stood up. Walking to the doorway, she put her hand against the wooden frame and looked back. “Listen, you two have a story called “Life and Death Companions” for a reason, okay? Think about it carefully, you dumbass.”
Kim Dokja sighed as he leaned back, feeling his head hit the wooden headboard. Maybe he was being dumb. Yeah, you are, his mind said back to him.
It was obvious; he liked Yoo Joonghyuk. He did since the very beginning, ever since he read the novel. But the feelings had developed beyond being just a fascination or platonic, and now he was lost.
He scooted to the side of the bed, letting his feet touch the cold ground. It had already been a few weeks since he had woken up, perhaps now he could attempt walking. He pressed his hands against the mattress, his legs unstable as they carried the weight of his body. After holding the headboard for a few moments, he was able to stabilize himself.
“I feel like a newborn,” he muttered as he pressed one hand against the wall to prevent himself from falling.
The ground made him shiver as he didn’t have any shoes or socks, and he inched slowly around the room, shaking slightly.
The door opened suddenly and Kim Dokja jumped, losing his balance. He flailed his arms wildly in an attempt to somehow rebalance himself when a hand caught his wrist and roughly pulled him forward. He stumbled blindly, crashing into the person’s chest.
“What are you doing?” The rough voice made Kim Dokja recognize the owner instantly.
Yoo Joonghyuk kept his grip tight around Kim Dokja's wrist, his other arm around the latter’s waist. “Where are you trying to go?”
“I wasn’t trying to go anywhere,” Kim Dokja protested weakly. “I just wanted to try walking around.”
“You’re not completely healed yet,” Yoo Joonghyuk steadied Kim Dokja, who looked up at him. “You should stay in bed.”
“Staying in bed all day is boring,” Kim Dokja pouted. “I can’t even see anyone except the people who come visit.”
“You can see people sooner if you wait and heal properly,” Yoo Joonghyuk slung Kim Dokja's arm over his shoulder to support him. “Go back to bed.”
“Fine…”
Kim Dokja limped slowly toward the mattress, Yoo Joonghyuk walking by his side. “You don’t usually act like this,” Kim Dokja murmured. “What’s gotten into you?”
“You haven’t seen me in years, you fool,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, although his hold on Kim Dokja was gentle. “There is a reason that I am acting this way.”
It’s because of you, goes unsaid.
Kim Dokja laughed as he climbed back onto the covers, Yoo Joonghyuk standing by the side of the bed. As the latter turned away, Kim Dokja reached out to wrap his fingers around Yoo Joonghyuk's wrist. “Stay?”
Yoo Joonghyuk sighed quietly but sat down by him, running his thumb along the back of Kim Dokja's hand. “Get some rest.”
Sleep came relatively easily for Kim Dokja as attempting to walk already drained most of his energy. He closed his eyes, evening his breathing. He was half-conscious when he felt something press against his forehead, but he fell asleep before he could realize what happened.
“Why is Joonghyuk-ssi carrying Dokja-ssi like that?” Yoo Sangah asked Han Sooyoung, who was passing by in the hallway.
Han Sooyoung looked over Yoo Sangah’s shoulder, seeing what she was talking about. She nearly spit out her coffee before laughing. “I think it’s because he wanted to go outside. His legs are still too weak for him to walk far distances.”
“Ah…” Yoo Sangah nodded. “Are they…?”
“Last time I checked, no,” Han Sooyoung sighed. “They’re so dense, those two.”
Yoo Joonghyuk walked past them, his arms hooked under Yoo Joonghyuk's back and legs. Kim Dokja was saying something, his face buried in Yoo Joonghyuk's chest. “Just get married, you two,” Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes.
“Joonghyuk-ah!” Kim Dokja struggled feebly. “Put me down!”
“You’re going to get hurt,” Yoo Joonghyuk retorted as he continued to walk toward the door that led to the garden.
Kim Dokja whined for a moment before sighing. Yoo Joonghyuk did have a point; his legs were still too weak for him to walk properly, and even if Yoo Joonghyuk supported them, they would’ve taken an eternity just to get outside.
He let his thoughts drift as he watched the walls pass by him. Han Sooyoung’s words had stuck in his head, and he decided that he would tell Yoo Joonghyuk how he felt today. In the unlikely situation that Yoo Joonghyuk would react badly… Kim Dokja didn’t want to think about it.
Yoo Joonghyuk had been by his side since he woke up again. He always took care of Kim Dokja, not minding even when Kim Dokja complained or asked for anything. It was different from what he was expecting, but Kim Dokja grew to accept the affection. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t a verbal person, he expressed his emotions mostly through actions.
Now that he looked back on it… he could understand Han Sooyoung’s exasperated tone when he asked her about it a few weeks ago.
Suddenly, the door was opened and Kim Dokja winced under the bright sunlight. Around him, the greens of leaves and soft pastels of flowers bloomed. A simple stone path wound through the garden, Yoo Joonghyuk walking briskly before setting Kim Dokja down on the stone bench that was under some shade.
“It’s so nice,” Kim Dokja looked around, reaching out to brush a petal with his fingers.
“It was Yoosung’s idea,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “She said that she wanted to maintain a garden.”
Kim Dokja turned his body, laying his head on Yoo Joonghyuk's lap. He felt Yoo Joonghyuk stiffen slightly, surprised at Kim Dokja's actions. “Hey, Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja's voice was quieter as he reached up to cup Yoo Joonghyuk's cheek.
“Mm.”
“We’re… companions for life and death, aren’t we?”
Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at Kim Dokja, his expression unreadable. “Yes,” he responded a few seconds later.
“Then, would you stay by my side?”
“That’s a foolish question,” Yoo Joonghyuk's gaze met Kim Dokja's. “You already know the answer.”
Kim Dokja smiled a bit, because Yoo Joonghyuk was right, like he always was.
Yoo Joonghyuk brought his hand up to cover Kim Dokja's. “I’ll stay by your side.”
“Forever?” Kim Dokja teased.
“Forever.”