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I.
The date was going well. Okay, maybe “well” wasn't the right word. The date wasn’t going badly. Compared to the people his roommate Jaemin usually set him up with, Mark was surprisingly chivalrous.
He’d been there already when Donghyuck showed up, insisted on paying for dinner, and took him to the stunning viewpoint at which they were currently talking. And there they sat: shoulders just barely touching, thousands of twinkling lights glittering in the city below them, and thousands of twinkling stars glittering in the sky above them.
Really, he’d been a model date. He was polite, funny in a goofy kind of way, and definitely cute. But there was still something holding Donghyuck back.
It wasn’t anything Mark has done wrong , per say, more like a few things he hadn’t done right .
Exhibit A: Mark hated physical affection. Either that, or he just couldn’t stand to touch Donghyuck. This was somewhat problematic, because Donghyuck conveyed his love entirely through stolen kisses and wandering fingers. So far, Mark had jerked back roughly when Donghyuck reached for his hand underneath the dinner table and shifted away when Donghyuck had tried curling into his side at the viewpoint to escape the chill breeze.
Exhibit B: He seemed to be apathetic—or at the very least immune—to Donghyuck’s constant teasing. Jaemin called it self-destructive, but Donghyuck happened to like pushing people’s buttons, even on a first date. He took a certain pride in his ability to read people and test their patience.
But Mark was hard to read. He didn’t seem to get annoyed at anything —which Donghyuck knew was nonsensical to assume on a first date, but it was like the guy didn’t know how to be anything but pleasant. Well, pleasant and a little awkward.
And perhaps most telling, Exhibit C: When Donghyuck had given him his best wink and flirtiest smile after warning him not to fall in love, Mark had simply stared at him before giggling nervously and saying “okay…,” somehow managing to stretch the single word over a four second period of time.
Donghyuck was used to this reaction; he got it from everyone. It was almost routine at this point: his date would turn bright red, or awkwardly laugh. Always flustered, never provocative. Never exciting . Frankly, the shy response was boring. Donghyuck was looking for a little more excitement in his life, someone who would keep him on his toes. Someone who would constantly surprise him.
He sighed. Why did the cute ones always have to be boring?
Mark paused whatever story he was in the middle of and looked at Donghyuck curiously. “Is everything okay? You seem kind of distracted.”
Donghyuck blinked, rather embarrassed at being caught not paying attention. Mark might have been a little boring, but he was still sweet. And Donghyuck could tell that he was trying to hold up his end of the conversation.
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” he finally responded, “I was just thinking.”
Mark hummed in response, but didn’t continue his story where he left off, leaving Donghyuck to think of something to say. Donghyuck supposed he deserved it, considering he’d been totally spacing out for the last five minutes.
“So,” he began after nearly an eon of awkward silence, “what are you majoring in?”
Donghyuck cringed internally, stifling the urge to sigh heavily again. He hated routine small talk, which was why he didn’t fall back on questions like “What are you studying?” unless the conversation was getting truly boring.
And while carrying the conversation had been easy enough throughout dinner, Donghyuck could tell they were moments away from hitting ‘truly boring’ and both coming up with respective excuses to go home.
The small smile Mark gave Donghyuck told him that his attempt to save the date hadn’t gone unnoticed. He didn’t mention it though, and simply turned back to face the view, smile still lingering on the corner of his lips. “I’m majoring in music production, actually. And English.”
“Music production and English? Together?” Donghyuck had to admit, he was intrigued. “How did that happen?”
“I don’t know,” Mark shrugged. “I wanted to be a writer when I was little, and then I guess I realized that what I really wanted to be was a songwriter.”
“So why bother with English at all? I mean, unless reading things like War and Peace help you write lyrics?”
At that, Mark’s entire body seemed to stiffen. Donghyuck could tell he’d hit some sort of nerve, but before he could backtrack or change the subject, Mark answered quietly. “The English part, it’s more for my parents. They don’t really think music production is...a stable career path.” He looked over at Donghyuck. “What about you?”
Grateful for being spared from having to make an awkward response, Donghyuck replied quickly. “I’m a dancer, but I’m considering switching to music. I kind of love singing.
“Oh, you sing?” Mark’s eyes were wide, clearly interested. “I sing a little bit too, I guess.”
Donghyuck chuckled. “You guess?”
Mark laughed too, a little giggle that Donghyuck found cuter than he probably should have. “I mean, I can hold a tune well enough to record stuff for my assignments, but I’m sure you’re way better than me. You know, being a singer and all.”
“Hey, I’m not a singer yet,” Donghyuck protested. “I’m still technically a dance major.”
“Sing something, then. I’ve learned a thing or two from music school, I’ll judge your potential.” There was a teasing sparkle in Mark’s eyes that hadn’t been there all night, and he looked so genuinely eager to hear Donghyuck sing that he couldn’t refuse.
So without another word, he closed his eyes and sang. The lyrics rang clear in the night, the simple melody filling the air around them wonderfully.
‘Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,
And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,
It’s been so long, it’s been so long, maybe you were fireproof,
‘Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do
Donghyuck let his last note fade and opened his eyes, expecting Mark to make some joke about his dramatic facial expressions or song choice, but the other boy was staring at him with wide eyes. “Yeah, nevermind,” he said after a moment. “I can’t consider myself a singer. Not if they all sound like you.”
Donghyuck laughed. A real one that burst, loud and unexpected, from his chest. “Was that your professional opinion?”
Mark nodded, laughing too, before looking at Donghyuck seriously. “Honestly, I’d pay to have someone like you record vocals for me so I don’t have to do it myself. I’ve been doing fine on my own so far, but this song I’m working on would be amazing with a voice like yours.”
Mark thought about it for a moment, reconsidering. “Actually, I’m too broke, I can’t afford to pay for that. However, I would kill to have someone like you record vocals for me.”
Donghyuck laughed again. “Yeah, I’d choose killing over paying any day." He cocked his head slightly to the side, studying Mark’s profile. "So, where do you record, anyway?”
“I mean, the actual recording is done in the bathroom because the acoustics are better, but I have some production stuff at my place. It’s really bad, actually,” Mark admitted, “I barely have enough money to buy my textbooks because I spend so much on my equipment.”
“So you have a whole studio set up at your apartment?”
Mark nodded.
“Holy shit, can I see?” Donghyuck shut his mouth immediately, realizing the implications of his request. “I mean, you don’t have to show me of course, I didn’t mean to—”
“Sure,” Mark interjected, smiling and shrugging good naturedly. “My apartment’s not that far from here, we can just walk over.”
Hmm. It appeared the night had taken a rather interesting turn.
Less than fifteen minutes later, Donghyuck found himself standing behind Mark as he fiddled with the lock on his front door.
“Sorry, it might be a little messy,” he apologized, chuckling nervously as he finally got it to swing open.
Donghyuck didn’t exactly know what he was expecting, but Mark’s apartment was surprisingly...cozy. The walls were painted a creamy ivory and various knick knacks, books, and instruments filled the space. It was a perfect compliment to the disorganization with which he spoke.
Mark walked off down the hall, saying something about closing the window he must have left open because it was “fucking freezing,” and Donghyuck was left standing awkwardly in Mark’s entryway until he heard Mark’s vaguely amused, “You coming?” and he raced to catch up, walking past the living room and into what he could only assume was Mark’s studio.
Three guitars leaned against the wall directly in front of him, and a large desk took up the left side of the room. The desk was cluttered with notebooks, score sheets, and a microphone attached to an excessively long extension cord.
As Mark quickly shut the open window that was, indeed, lowering the temperature of the whole apartment, Donghyuck took a closer look at the equipment Mark had clearly spent most of his savings on.
“What's this?” Donghyuck asked, admiring the complicated looking knobs, dials, and sliders that decorated the silver keyboard next to Mark’s desk. “It doesn’t look like any electronic piano I’ve seen before.”
“Oh, that’s a MIDI keyboard,” Mark answered, his voice unexpectedly near Donghyuck’s ear.
A shiver ran down his spine; one that had nothing to do with the chill left over in the room from the open window.
“It connects to my computer and lets me fake the sound of other instruments by just playing the keys…” Mark’s voice trailed off as Donghyuck turned around.
When Donghyuck asked the question, Mark had stepped closer so he could see what he was looking at—meaning that now he couldn’t be more than two steps away from Donghyuck.
“...That’s cool.”
Donghyuck cursed himself for saying something so stupid, hating how breathless and flustered he sounded. But all he could focus on was the warmth he could feel emanating from Mark’s body, and how their proximity meant that they were sharing the exact same air.
He cleared his throat. “Where—um, where’d you get it?”
Mark didn’t answer, taking another step forward instead. His eyes lingered on Donghyuck’s own for a brief moment before dropping down to his lips.
Donghyuck could hear his heart pounding in his ears, but he could find nothing to blame for his rapid heartbeat except for the intensity of Mark’s stare. He wet his lips unconsciously, meeting Mark’s eyes once more as he took a final step closer. They were chest to chest, noses almost touching.
“Is this okay?” Mark asked in lieu of answering his question, lifting Donghyuck’s chin ever so slightly with a gentle finger. Donghyuck didn’t trust himself to speak, so he nodded instead, swallowing the lump in his throat in the instant before Mark leaned in.
The kiss was tender, Mark’s lips impossibly soft against his own.
Donghyuck resisted the urge to sigh contentedly, marvelling at how unexpectedly well the night had turned out. Mark is sweet , he thought. This is nice.
Just as the thought occurred to him, Mark’s tongue swiped at Donghyuck’s lower lip, and when Donghyuck parted his lips to let him in Mark deepened the kiss instantly, pulling Donghyuck closer by the waist. Oh. Donghyuck corrected himself. Nevermind. This is better.
When he grew impatient with the lack of escalation, Donghyuck moved his arms from where they were wrapped around Mark’s broad shoulders and snaked his hand under Mark’s shirt, fingers deftly exploring the other’s narrow waist and raking light lines across his toned back.
Mark shivered at this, a small whine slipping past his lips. Donghyuck grinned into their kiss, more than a little satisfied. He drew his nails down Mark’s back again, catching another one of his pretty moans with his own mouth.
Suddenly, Mark pulled back. Donghyuck chased his lips, but was stopped by Mark’s hand on his chest. Donghyuck opened his eyes to find Mark looking at him, his concerned expression out of place against his flushed cheeks and shiny lips.
Before Donghyuck could ask what was wrong, Mark spoke first.
“Wait, you know I didn’t invite you over just for this, right?”
Donghyuck blinked, dumbfounded, which Mark seemed to take as a bad sign, because he continued. “Not that I’m complaining because you’re a really good kisser, but I wouldn’t want you to think that I just invited you over to hook up or whatever because I actually really like you. I mean, I’ll admit that things were kind of awkward for a second there, but we all have to start somewh—”
Donghyuck kissed him, pulling Mark’s face towards his own with both hands before leaning back and looking him in the eyes.
“Yes, Mark. I have known you for all of three hours but I’ve already concluded that there is not a manipulative bone in your stupidly toned body. If I thought you just wanted to hook up, I probably wouldn’t have come over. Now, will you please kiss me?”
Mark still looked unsure, so Donghyuck placed a soft kiss to his lips, adding, “For the record, I like you a lot too.”
An hour ago the statement might have been a lie, but it was like he’d said: the night had taken a turn. Things were different now.
Mark smiled in relief. “Oh. Okay, cool.” he replied, somewhat dumbly.
Donghyuck found it endearing either way, and smiled back before leaning in again.
Later, Donghyuck found himself atop the worn couch in Mark’s living room, laying on his bare chest and idly drawing circles on his skin. He had moved on to running his fingers absentmindedly over the smooth planes of his stomach when Mark suddenly spoke, voice gravelly. “I got it off Craigslist, by the way.”
“What?”
“The MIDI keyboard. I got it off Craigslist. I just realized I never answered your question from earlier because, you know…” Mark blushed. Donghyuck grinned.
“We were distracted?” Donghyuck finished teasingly, moving up to steal a kiss. “Craigslist, huh,” he said afterwards, face centimeters away from Mark’s own. “Who would’ve thought.” The words came out in a whisper.
Mark shrugged as best as he could while lying down with Donghyuck on his chest before standing and slipping his t-shirt back on, much to Donghyuck’s disappointment. “Come on.” Mark held out a hand to the younger, and Donghyuck took it with a smile. “I’ll give you a real tour.”
They messed around in Mark’s studio for hours, taking turns recording various ad-libs in the bathroom and returning to mix random beats. At Mark’s request, Donghyuck even recorded a few runs for his upcoming project.
Some time ago Mark had pulled a bottle of tequila down from atop his fridge, suggesting they take a couple shots “to get the creative juices flowing.” A couple shots had turned into a couple more, and then a couple more, until Donghyuck’s head was foggy and he had no idea how he was going to find his way to the bus stop and get home.
However, he was grateful for the excuse. Now he could blame the way his heart rate jumped whenever Mark leaned in close and the way he shivered whenever he felt Mark’s breath ghost over his skin on the alcohol poisoning his blood cells.
Eventually though, their impromptu studio session came to an end. Mark, giggling and not altogether steady on his feet, had glanced at the clock. “Oh, fuck,” he said, seeming to sober up instantly. “It’s getting really late.”
Donghyuck reached for his phone, seeing both that it was three in the morning and that he had missed several texts from Jaemin. They ranged from asking how the date was going to wondering when he would be home to worried about Donghyuck’s lack of response to prematurely celebrating the fact that he had successfully gotten Donghyuck laid.
An hour ago Jaemin had said goodnight. Two minutes later he’d sent a text that read, “But I’m calling you again at noon tomorrow and if you don’t pick up I’m gonna assume the worst and interrogate Mark’s friend’s about his whereabouts,” followed by “So unless you want to be embarrassed in front of your new boyfriend I’d text me back.”
Donghyuck rolled his eyes and quickly replied. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” And just to be cryptic because he knew it’d bother Jaemin, he sent one more message: “And things are going really well. But you didn't get all the details right.”
Satisfied, Donghyuck locked his phone and turned towards Mark, who was in the process of picking up the snack wrappers and shot glasses they’d strewn around the room. “Here, let me help with that,” Donghyuck offered, picking the rest up and following Mark to the kitchen.
Once they’d dumped everything in the trash Mark faced him, looking a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can drive you home. I’m definitely sobering up, but I probably shouldn’t be driving and I wouldn’t want to risk it, you know.”
“Oh, of course.” Donghyuck was yet again caught off guard by how impossibly nice Mark was. “You don’t have to apologize, I can just call an Uber or something.”
“And waste your money? Don’t worry about it, just sleep over and I’ll give you a ride to the bus station tomorrow morning. Only if you want to, of course,” Mark added, sounding flustered. “I wouldn’t want to, like, make you uncomfortable or anything.”
If Donghyuck was even the slightest bit more sober he probably would have been, but he wasn’t, so he shook his head. “No, you’re totally fine,” he said, shooting Mark a smile for good measure. “Thanks.”
“Cool. Uh, follow me, I guess,” Mark said, and for the second time that night, Donghyuck followed him down the hall. “I’ll give you a t-shirt to sleep in or something.”
Within ten minutes, Donghyuck was settled into Mark’s bed and ready to fall asleep. Through fluttering eyelids, he barely registered Mark walking back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom until he turned off the lamp next to Donghyuck’s bed, and, after a moment’s hesitation, pressed a gentle kiss to Donghyuck’s forehead. Donghyuck hummed contentedly, but Mark was already walking away.
“Where are you going?” Donghyuck’s voice came out much whinier than he’d intended.
“Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?” Mark answered.
“No, I wasn’t asleep yet. Aren’t you going to sleep too?”
“Yeah,” Mark laughed lightly, as if Donghyuck had said something amusing. “The couch is in the living room though.”
“Oh no, I didn’t mean to kick you off your own bed, why’re you sleeping on the couch?” Donghyuck pouted, “Just sleep here—I promise I don’t mind.”
“You’re not kicking me off my bed, Donghyuck, don’t worry.” Mark smiled warmly and said goodnight once more before padding down the dark hallway.
Donghyuck frowned. As tired as he was, he didn’t want to fall asleep alone. Sitting up with a groan, he lifted Mark’s comforter off the mattress, dragging it with him as he made his way down the hall.
Upon his arrival, the ridiculously large comforter trailing behind him, Donghyuck found Mark lying on the couch clutching a pillow to his chest, his eyes closed.
Cute.
He tapped the other boy on the nose gently, giggling when Mark’s entire face scrunched up. “Can I have that pillow?”
Mark squinted at him: this boy he’d initially thought was far too pretty to be out with Mark at all, whose shoulders were now dwarfed by Mark’s t-shirt and whose slightly calloused hands were clutching Mark’s comforter.
“Fine,” he grumbled, relenting. “But I’m gonna need something else to hold onto if you don’t plan on giving it back, you know.”
Donghyuck grinned cheekily. “I was counting on it. What use would I have for a pillow if I’m curled up with you, anyway?” In one smooth motion, he tossed the pillow aside, folded himself between Mark’s open arms, and draped the comforter over the both of them.
Donghyuck’s last coherent thought before drowsiness finally won out and he fell asleep?
I was wrong about him.
Donghyuck awoke sometime later to Mark’s voice in his ear. “Hmm?” he mumbled, confused and still half-asleep.
Vaguely, he registered that Mark was murmuring something, but he was far too disoriented to focus on what he was actually saying. “Wait, what?”
Mark didn’t seem to have heard him, because he just kept talking in a strange, stilted, kind of way. In all honesty, it didn’t sound like the other boy was speaking complete sentences.
Donghyuck, now awake and growing increasingly uneasy, tried his best to shift on the small couch with Mark’s arms still wrapped around him. Maybe he was trying to ask him something.
What he found was that Mark’s eyes were closed, mouth shut and breathing even. Confused, Donghyuck whispered, “Mark? Are you awake?”
Upon receiving no response, Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows. Several possible explanations played out in his head, none of them all that viable. Mark didn’t seem like the type of guy to try and prank someone he’d just met the previous night, and considering how new the building was, it also didn’t seem likely that the apartment was haunted.
And then Mark spoke again, and Donghyuck made out the words “Maybe he can stop by tomorrow” in English. He said some other things too, but Donghyuck couldn’t hear all that clearly and he doubted he would’ve understood the English anyway.
So Mark must be a sleeptalker, then. Interesting.
Donghyuck studied the softness of Mark’s features and the way his lips would form a subtle pout every time he spoke. Unbeknownst to him, a fond smile made its way onto Donghyuck’s face. When he finally stopped staring, opting instead to fit himself in the junction between Mark’s neck and shoulder, the smile was still there.
Donghyuck wondered what Mark was dreaming about, and what the words he was saying in English meant.
He decided he would ask Mark about it over breakfast.
II.
Okay, so Mark didn’t turn out to be as boring as Donghyuck originally thought. In fact, he was actually kind of interesting. And still very cute. But he hadn’t said anything in his sleep since they first met almost two months ago. And Donghyuck had slept over at his apartment several times since then.
He’d begun to suspect it was all a ploy to get him to stay for breakfast the next morning. Mark must have somehow known Donghyuck wouldn’t have been able to resist the opportunity to poke a little fun at him over waffles. Waffles from the cafe down the street because, as he’d quickly learned, Mark could not cook for his life.
But then it happened again.
They were at Donghyuck’s place this time, because Jaemin was gone for the weekend and Donghyuck didn’t feel like staying in the empty apartment all alone. So he called Mark, inviting him over under the guise that he needed someone to finish all the food he made for dinner.
One thing led to another and they were falling asleep in Donghyuck’s bed after marathoning almost all of the Marvel movies available on Netflix.
The next thing Donghyuck knew, he was woken up to the sound of an indignant voice.
“This isn’t fair!” Mark was complaining, “I don’t know the first thing about baking—I can’t even fry an egg properly!”
Donghyuck stifled a laugh.
“I’ll do anything else, please, you can’t make me bake.” There was about a minute of silence, and Donghyuck was accepting that the confession was all the entertainment he’d get for the night when Mark spoke up once more.
“...toes?” His voice was quiet. “Fine, I’ll do it.” Donghyuck let out a peal of laughter before he could stop himself, clapping his hand over his mouth immediately and staring at Mark with wide eyes to make sure he hadn’t woken the other boy up.
It took a long time for Donghyuck to fall asleep again. There was no way Mark was ever living this one down.
Donghyuck woke up to find the space beside him cool. He was disappointed before remembering that Mark was currently taking his last midterm.
After taking an embarrassingly long time to summon the energy to get out of bed and get ready for the day, Donghyuck checked the time. There was still another hour before Mark’s midterm was over.
Thinking back to the night before, Donghyuck remembered Mark’s panic over not being able to bake and laughed to himself, thanking Mark for the idea.
An hour was more than enough time to bake a batch of cookies.
Donghyuck heard Mark struggling to open the door before he saw him. He was waiting at the door, freshly baked cookies in hand, in an instant. But when Mark finally stepped through the doorway, Donghyuck realized he was carrying two drinks from Donghyuck’s favorite boba shop. In classic spiderman-pointing-at-spiderman fashion, the two stopped and stared at each other before bursting into laughter.
“Why do you have boba?” Donghyuck asked at the exact same time Mark exclaimed, “You made cookies?”
They laughed again. “I knew you’d been waiting for me all morning, so I just thought I’d bring you something nice,” Mark said as he handed Donghyuck the drink.
Donghyuck took a sip and looked up, surprised. “ And you know my order?”
The whole thing was so sweet Donghyuck almost didn’t want to tease him. Almost.
Mark shrugged, dodging Donghyuck’s dramatic attempt to kiss him on the cheek. “What kind of cookies are these?”
“They’re snickerdoodles,” he answered, beaming in satisfaction as he watched Mark take a bite. “And you know what gave me the inspiration to bake them?”
Mark narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “What?”
“Your sleep talking, babe.” Mark covered his face with his hands and groaned, which only served to spur Donghyuck on as he described, word for word, everything Mark had said the previous night. He’d never been so grateful for his excellent memory.
“Okay, wait, I can explain!” The fact that Mark’s voice had taken on the same indignant tone as last night didn't make the situation any less amusing. “I was super anxious about this exam, and in my dream professor Kim was saying that the final had been changed to a baking competition, which obviously doesn’t make any sense, but it was a dream!”
“And the next part?” Donghyuck questioned with faux innocence. “You know, where you mentioned someone’s toes? Does that have anything to do with a baking competition?”
Mark made a face. “When I told him I couldn’t bake, he threatened to make me clean between his toes instead! It freaked me out, what was I supposed to do?”
Donghyuck nearly choked on his boba from the force of his laughter.
It wasn’t until a plate of cookies later that Donghyuck realized that he'd forgotten to ask Mark how his midterm went.
“Well, how was it?”
“How was what?”
“The midterm.”
“Oh.” Mark shrugged, cookie crumbs still at the corner of his mouth. Donghyuck reached up to brush them away, and Mark grinned at him in thanks. “I didn’t have to bake anything, so I’d say it went about as well as it could have.”
Two weeks later, Mark gave baking a try in celebration of the A he received on his midterm and nearly set fire to Donghyuck’s kitchen. They laughed it off, though, sharing a cupcake from a bakery downtown while they waited for the smell of burnt cookies to leave the apartment.
III.
Donghyuck knew something was off immediately. He wasn’t a heavy sleeper by any means, but although the bedroom was quiet, he felt certain that he hadn’t been jolted awake by coincidence.
He felt the blankets shifting and reached out blindly for Mark, who had apparently thrashed his way halfway across the bed and just out of Donghyuck’s reach. It was then that Mark let out a whimper, one sounding suspiciously close to a sob.
“Mark?” Donghyuck was fully awake now, and he reached out toward his boyfriend, unable to figure out what was wrong. “Please,” Mark begged, “Please just tell me why.” He was full out crying now, shoulders shaking as he twisted and turned away from whatever terrifying thing he was picturing in front of him.
At Donghyuck’s touch, the other boy jerked awake, pulling away from Donghyuck’s hands. “I’m sorry,” he gasped, and from the way his tear-filled eyes were still unfocused, Donghyuck understood he wasn’t the recipient of Mark’s apology.
“Mark,” he whispered again, “It was a nightmare. You’re safe now, I’m right here.” Donghyuck began to reach forward again, but paused when Mark’s red-rimmed eyes met his. He rarely saw Mark get upset, let alone this distressed. Remembering Mark’s aversion to skinship, Donghyuck placed his hands back into his lap.
No, this was not the time to overstep his boundaries.
“I’m right here,” Donghyuck repeated. “What do you need right now? I can get you a glass of water, or make you some hot tea with honey...anything. Tell me what I can do to help,” he pleaded.
Mark glanced at Donghyuck’s hands folded in his lap and exhaled shakily. “Can you just...hold me for a little bit?”
“Oh, of course,” Donghyuck sighed, scooting forward to wrap his arms around Mark at last. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he murmured tentatively, half expecting Mark to draw away. But instead he nodded, and to Donghyuck’s surprise, curled impossibly closer against Donghyuck’s chest.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Mark questioned. “I know you have an eight am lecture tomorrow.”
Imperceptibly, Donghyuck tightened his hold. He had no idea how Mark had remembered, but his heart ached at the way his boyfriend still managed to be thoughtful when he was the one still trembling slightly between Dongyuck’s arms.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he whispered back, endlessly fond. “Of course I don’t mind. I’ll skip lecture tomorrow if you want to sleep in together.”
Mark let out a half-laugh that was somewhere between an exhale and that endearing giggle Donghyuck always pretended, unconvincingly, to find irritating. “You’d skip lecture for anything, Lee Donghyuck.” There was a moment of comfortable silence before he spoke up softly again. “But thank you for offering.”
“Always, Mark.” Donghyuck placed a tender kiss at the top of Mark’s head. “What was your dream about?”
Mark sighed heavily. “I was sitting in Professor Kim’s lecture, and there was a knock on the door. He stepped outside to talk to them, and I got this horrible, twisty feeling in my gut. And then Kim told me that my parents were disowning me, in front of the whole class. He said they wanted to let me know that it wouldn’t be necessary for me to come home or call...ever again. And so I asked him—I asked him why, and all he said was that I knew.”
Mark took a shaky breath. “And the thing is, he was right. I knew exactly why. You know I never told my parents that I started studying music? They don’t have a clue that I plan on going into music production after I graduate, because they still think I’m studying English. I’ve been lying to them for so long.”
Donghyuck shifted sideways to give him the privacy to quickly brush away the fresh tears that filled his eyes—Mark little spoon for once.
“Everyone in the lecture hall was staring at me with this look , like they knew exactly what I’d done and hated me for it. Like I’d disappointed all of them. And then Professor Kim stared at me and said, ‘Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?’”
As Mark talked, Donghyuck carded his fingers through his hair, scratching gentle lines along his scalp. Mark’s eyes had long slipped shut, but he kept going.
“I am ashamed of myself, of course I am. What kind of son moves away from home—across the world, to a different country—taking all of his parents hard earned money, and then spends it all on classes for a major they wouldn’t even approve of? What kind of son doesn’t bother to visit on holidays, even though he knows how much his mom misses him, because he’s too scared to lie to her face? I mean, I know I’m hurting their feelings by being so distant, but I feel so guilty about wasting their money and lying about it that it hurts to talk to them.”
Mark craned his neck to look at Donghyuck with wide, slightly puffy eyes. “What kind of son am I?”
Donghyuck was silent for a moment as he tried to find the right way to explain the feeling clouding his brain and creating a lump in his throat.
“Lying about your major doesn’t make you a bad son,” he began slowly, choosing each word with care. “All it means is that you care about honoring your parents wishes. The fact that you’re so afraid to disappoint them shows how much you care. I think that maybe you haven’t told them because you just want to be the kind of person they expect you to be: someone your parents can be proud of.”
“But wanting something different doesn’t make you someone they can’t be proud of,” Donghyuck continued. “Following their expectations isn’t the only way you can thank them for everything they’ve done for you. At the end of the day, parents just want their kids to grow up and be happy. If being a music producer makes you happy, I know they’ll come around eventually. But they can't come to accept it if you don’t give them the chance. And they’ll never know how much you love them if you never say so. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, it does, actually. I think I’ll call them tomorrow.” Mark glanced up at Donghyuck with shining eyes. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Donghyuck replied warmly. “Now go back to sleep,” he nagged with a loving kiss to Mark’s temple. “You must be worn out.”
Minutes later, Mark spoke once more into the darkness. “Donghyuck?”
The other boy made a sleepy noise of affirmation. Mark was silent for a while, trying to find the right words. “Thank you again, for everything,” he finally murmured. “I—”
He was interrupted by a gentle snore. Smiling softly, Mark burrowed deeper into Donghyuck’s embrace and closed his eyes.
IV.
Donghyuck’s birthday was in exactly four weeks and six days. Mark knew this because he’d been panicking about what to get him for at least twice that time.
And Donghyuck was of absolutely no help. The one time Mark had attempted to subtly slip a question about what Donghyuck wanted for his birthday into the conversation, Donghyuck had caught on immediately.
He was getting a little desperate. But fortunately for Mark, he did some of his most imaginative thinking when he was unconscious.
Unfortunately for Mark, his body couldn’t grasp the demand for secrecy, and nearly spoiled the secret before he was even aware of his own idea.
Finally: Donghyuck was about to take a bite of his vanilla soft serve. He’d driven all over town to find the single McDonald’s whose ice cream machine was working and then waited for what felt like hours to get his damn dessert.
It was then that he found himself lying in bed, hands and stomach infuriatingly empty. He rolled over when he heard Mark mumble next to him, hoping to continue his dream where it left off, but his traitorous ears tuned into the sound anyway.
“No, no, not that one.” Pause. “He doesn’t...It needs to be perfect. So he’ll actually wear it, you know? He’s kind of picky about jewelry. Do you think I could get it custom made?”
Mark had a habit of asking random, unrelated questions in his sleep in this adorably curious way that made Donghyuck want to roll back over and kiss his boyfriend silly. He resisted the urge.
“What? Oh, I’ll have to think about it.”
And then, silence. It went on for so long Donghyuck assumed he was finished for the night. But then, so quiet he nearly missed it: “The sun...and the stars.”
When Donghyuck opened his birthday present the next month, he laughed out loud.
Donghyuck had woken up to Mark’s side of the bed empty, and he was disappointed until Mark had reappeared in the doorway, bedhead still intact and a small black box in his hands.
He looked nervous, but brightened up when he noticed Donghyuck was awake. “Donghyuck, you’re up! Happy birthday! Here, I made you coffee. I was gonna make breakfast too, but I figured it’d be a better idea for us to go out instead, considering.”
Donghyuck laughed lightly as he accepted the steaming mug. “Thanks, Mark. You’re the best.” He smiled at his boyfriend, somehow knowing that this would be his best birthday so far. “Getting breakfast sounds like a great idea.”
Unable to hide his curiosity, Donghyuck glanced pointedly at the box. “What’s that?”
Before handing it to him, Mark looked so flustered Donghyuck was worried it was going to be something inappropriate. But then he said, “So, I just, um, noticed that you like to wear rings a lot?”
Donghyuck’s mind was drawn back to that night weeks ago, and he smiled knowingly while Mark scratched his neck. “Or, I mean, you have a few rings you wear all the time and I thought that you might like to add another one to your...collection, I guess.”
At this, Mark stuck his arm out forcefully, practically shoving the box at Donghyuck. As an afterthought, he wondered aloud, “Is it called a collection if you only have like, three rings?”
Nestled in a bed of velvet was a simple silver ring engraved with a spiral sun and several tiny stars. Donghyuck couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up from his throat at his sudden clarity.
Mark looked a little hurt, his eyes wide and a deep furrow in his brow. “Is it too much? I swear I’m not, like proposing or anything. Or if it’s not your style I could get you something different.”
“No, I’m sorry, Mark, it’s not that.” Donghyuck grabbed Mark’s face with both hands, showering him in kisses. “It’s beautiful, really. Thank you. I love it.”
“Then why are you laughing?” The hurt on Mark’s face had been replaced with a confused pout.
Donghyuck laughed again. “Babe, I heard you sleep talking about this nearly a month ago! How long have you been planning this?”
Now Mark just looked embarrassed. “Well it’s the first real gift I’ve ever gotten for you—it needed to be perfect!”
“Well, it is. It’s perfect,” Donghyuck murmured, twisting the ring this way and that to admire the way the silver stars gleamed in the morning light. “What does it mean?” He asked, remembering the purposeful way in which Mark had described the ring’s design in his sleep.
“Um,” Mark started, still sounding embarrassed. “It’s kind of cheesy, but I wanted to add the sun because you’re always so cheerful and affectionate, you know? You always know how to make me laugh, and you’re full of this, like, endless energy. You remind me of the sun, and sunflowers, and everything else that's bright and beautiful.”
Donghyuck was speechless. He’d never received a gift this thoughtful, not even close. Mark, somehow sensing this, blushed and carried on quickly. “The stars are from our first date. Do you remember the viewpoint over Seoul, where you could just look up and see hundreds of them?”
“Of course I do,” Donghyuck whispered fondly. “We should go back there soon. I think it’ll feel a lot more...different this time around.”
“Yeah,” Mark agreed.
Meaningful , he corrected. It’ll feel a lot more meaningful.
V.
Donghyuck and Mark had first met over six months ago, and Donghyuck had managed to convince himself that nothing Mark said in his sleep would surprise him anymore.
By now, he was used to the rambling, incoherent style of Mark’s sleep talking: the way he’d jump from subject to subject and switch seamlessly from English to Korean and back again.
What he wasn’t used to was Mark reciting whole Shakespearean monologues in his sleep.
So naturally, that’s what he did next.
Mark was washing his face, still shirtless from getting out of the shower only minutes before. Donghyuck stood behind him in his pajamas, ready for bed but not wanting to fall asleep alone.
“C’mon, Theseus,” he teased, wrapping his arms around Mark’s bare waist, “Why check yourself out in the mirror when you could come to bed and let me show my appreciation for that glorious body of yours instead?”
At this, Mark looked up, catching Donghyuck’s eye in the mirror, who winked shamelessly at him. Hiding the blush that inevitably colored his cheeks whenever Donghyuck flirted with him, even now, Mark shoved him lightly, wriggled out of his grasp, and slipped his t-shirt over his head. “Don’t start things you can’t finish,” he teased back. “I know you’re gonna be asleep two seconds after we get into bed.”
“And besides,” he continued, laughing, “Theseus is the king of Athens. He’s a Greek hero. Adonis is the hot one.”
Donghyuck grinned and shook his head, pointedly ignoring Mark’s first statement because, well, he was probably right. “Nerd. You know what I meant. Besides—Theseus, Adonis, whatever, you’re better looking than all of them combined.”
Mark shoved him again before taking his hand and leading them out of the bathroom, shutting the lights off behind him. “You must be exhausted if you’re sweet talking this much just to get me into bed.”
“What?” Donghyuck pretended to be offended. “Maybe I just want to compliment my boyfriend. And who says I’m sweet talking?”
“Mmhmm.” Mark reached the bed first, setting his glasses on the nightstand and settling in between the sheets. Donghyuck stifled a yawn, and Mark opened his arms for him to crawl into with a laugh. “Look at you, all bark and no bite. I swear,” he deadpanned, “my ‘glorious body’ gets no appreciation in this household.”
Too exhausted for words, Donghyuck simply reached around to flick Mark’s forehead and snuggled further into Mark’s chest.
“Goodnight, baby,” Mark whispered, tone laced with the type of mirth that would normally have Donghyuck firing back with something sarcastic. Luckily for him, Donghyuck was already asleep.
Donghyuck had long grown accustomed to the routine of being woken up to Mark’s voice, made rough from sleep, right next to his ear. Usually he’d ignore it, and go back to sleep, but—
Did he just say doth? His mind was instantly alert. Listening intently, it wasn’t long before he picked up on another strange word.
“...Such tricks hath strong imagination...That if it would but apprehend...some joy...”
It was eerie, hearing such fancy words coming out of Mark’s mouth with perfect clarity. For once, Donghyuck genuinely had no clue what Mark was thinking about. It did sound, though, like he was reciting something, so Donghyuck grabbed his phone from the nightstand and prayed the internet would have the answers he didn't. Frantically, he listened for the next lines.
“The lunatic, the lover, and the poet...One sees more devils than vast hell can hold...”
There. “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” by William Shakespeare. Act 5, Scene 1. A monologue by the king of Athens, Theseus. Mark was reciting a monologue from a play hundreds of years old, by memory.
Sometimes his boyfriend was too easy to tease. The jokes practically wrote themselves.
Now, why did that name sound so familiar?
But as much as he racked his brain, Donghyuck couldn’t recall where he’d heard the name before. He drifted off to sleep still mulling it over.
It was the first thing Donghyuck thought about when he woke up. He opened his eyes, eager to wait as long as it took for his boyfriend to wake up so he could tease him about being a nerd properly.
To his surprise, Mark was already awake, studying Donghyuck’s features with a fond expression. “Hey,” Donghyuck whined, flushing unexpectedly. “Stop staring at me.”
“Why? You’re cute, can you blame me?” Mark countered, in a rare moment of flirtatiousness.
“So are you,” Donghyuck grinned mischievously. He had seen his opening. “In fact, it was adorable hearing you spout a whole Shakespearean monologue in your sleep last night.”
“I—what?”
“What was it? Act 5, Scene 1 of Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream,’ I believe. A monologue by Theseus, king of Athens.” Donghyuck shook his head teasingly. “I can’t believe you had that entire thing memorized. Remind me again how many friends you had in high school?”
“I had to perform it for my British literature class,” Mark protested. “And you’re the one who called me Theseus right before we went to sleep! It’s not my fault you triggered my subconscious.” He kept going, describing in detail how much effort he’d put into memorizing the monologue years ago.
Donghyuck smiled at Mark’s attempt to maintain his dignity, taking notice of the way his hand gestures kept getting bigger and bigger. I can’t believe I’m in love with such a dork , Donghyuck thought. He blushed at the thought, tearing his eyes away from Mark’s gaze before the other boy could read exactly what was written all over his face:
I love you .
Maybe Donghyuck was in a little deeper than he thought.
+1
It’d been less than two weeks since Donghyuck had come to the realization that he was well and truly in love with Mark Lee, and he still didn’t quite know what to do with himself. Donghyuck was lying with his head in Mark’s lap while they watched some cheesy drama when the solution to all his troubles was handed to him on a silver platter. All thanks to Mark’s sleep talking, of course.
The girl on TV, frustratingly shy and innocent, had misinterpreted yet another obvious sign that the mysterious, bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold was head over heels for her, and Donghyuck was over it. He wanted to make out with Mark instead.
So he sighed, extra loudly, expecting Mark to ask him what was wrong. But he heard nothing in response except for more rhythmic breathing. A whine forming on his lips, he raised his head at the boy whose lap he was currently occupying—only to find that said boy was fast asleep, head tipped over the back of the couch, chest gently rising and falling.
Donghyuck debated whether to wake him up or just let him sleep the weariness off his features for a little while. It didn’t take long to decide that Mark’s exposed neck was too pretty not to kiss.
And really, there are worse things to wake up to.
Just as Donghyuck was leaning in to press a soft kiss onto Mark’s collarbone, he started to talk. And because Donghyuck felt like kissing your sleeping boyfriend’s neck was decidedly more creepy when he was sleep talking, he sat back silently.
At first, it was the usual indecipherable mumbles. Donghyuck prepared to shake him awake like he normally would, but then the words came into focus, and Mark’s voice grew louder, clearer. Hoping for some material to embarrass his clown of a boyfriend with later, Donghyuck listened patiently.
And though Mark would probably be embarrassed by what he began to murmur, the words made warmth spread all the way from Donghyuck’s rapidly beating heart to his sock covered toes.
Before he could lose his courage and change his mind, he tugged on Mark’s shoulder. Shaking him gently, he waited until Mark’s eyes fluttered open before sitting back with a smug grin.
Mark yawned. Donghyuck refused to acknowledge the knot in his chest that tightened at the sight of his boyfriend’s nose scrunching up cutely.
“Sorry, Hyuckie. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Did you finish the movie?”
“It’s okay, baby.” Donghyuck ignored the question. “What were you dreaming about?” he asked, feigning innocence.
The effect was instantaneous. A flush appeared on Mark’s cheekbones, and he began to fidget, worrying at the hem of his t-shirt quietly.
“Mark? What were you dreaming about?” Donghyuck let some of his amusement ring through. The flush on Mark’s cheeks spread down to his neck and he giggled nervously, but still didn’t answer.
“Baby, come on. You can tell me.” This time, Donghyuck didn’t bother masking the obvious mischief in his voice.
Mark rolled his eyes, finally understanding that Donghyuck was well aware of what he was dreaming of and was simply trying to embarrass him. “You.”
Still, the answer was whispered so quietly Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he had imagined it. So he switched up their positions, swinging his legs over Mark’s so that he was straddling him, knees on either side of Mark’s thighs.
Then he leaned down, looping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and bringing his lips close to his ear. “What was that?”
He felt Mark’s answering shiver and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.
“I was dreaming about you, okay?” By now, the tips of Mark’s ears were turning pink.
“I know you were.” Donghyuck grinned down at Mark from where he was now fully situated on his lap. “Do you know what you were saying in your sleep?”
Mark shook his head silently, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. He didn’t have any clue, but knowing him, it was probably something embarrassing. He looked at Donghyuck expectantly, waiting for the teasing he was sure to come.
“I love you. I love you, Hyuckie,” Donghyuck repeated, the English words rolling off his tongue easily. “I love you,” he said one last time, in Korean. The words were spoken softly, reverently.
Donghyuck looked at him with shining eyes. It was like Mark had just saved him from a burning building, like he’d cured cancer, like he’d hung the moon and stars. There was nothing in his expression but pure adoration, and in that instant Mark knew Donghyuck wasn’t just repeating the words he had said in his sleep.
In that instant, Mark understood that the words are also his own.
“Well,” he started, a little shy, voice still thick with sleep, “you know I meant it, right?” He met Donghyuck’s searching gaze, seeing the vulnerability he’d let show reflected in the younger boy’s eyes.
“Can you say it?” In the back of his mind, Mark noted that this might have been the first time he’d heard Donghyuck sound genuinely nervous. “I need to hear you say it.”
A short pause. A nervous clearing of the throat. A squeeze of interlaced fingers.
“I love you, Lee Donghyuck.”
The smile that bloomed across Donghyuck’s face was radiant.
“I love you too.”
And then Donghyuck was leaning down, and they were kissing atop the saggy couch while the credits of the long forgotten drama rolled in the background, and they both had to be up for class in less than six hours, and the phone in Mark’s pocket was kind of digging into Donghyuck’s thigh, and he might have just heard Mark’s stomach growl, but he wouldn’t have traded the moment for the world.
Yeah, Donghyuck was definitely in over his head. But it was nice to know Mark was right there with him.