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those wretched blue eyes.
i could recognise them from a mile away. how they never strayed far from my thoughts, how they always found their way into my dreams; how could i not remember?
and now, i’ve found them. found the one they belonged to.
it hurts. it hurts so much to remember every single time he crossed paths with those blue eyes, how they looked so clear under light, how they looked at me with such love i could not even fathom.
but in the end, i’m still left alone. watching the youth melt from their smooth skin, the life drain from their dying body as they clutched onto me for dear life, for the last shred of hope that maybe they could live a little longer, just a little longer.
they never do.
it’s amusing, really. i’ve roamed this world since—how long?—almost half a millennium. i’ve crossed paths with the blue eyes more times than i can count. they always manage to slip their way into the list of people i care for—which is close to none, and i let them. whatever makes them happy. we spend time together, experience new things together, go places together, and for some reason, they make me feel like i’m visiting these places for the very first time again. they have a way of making me feel young, young and rejuvenated.
perhaps it’s the impish grin on each of their faces, perhaps it’s how they all seem to take my dry remarks as humour. perhaps it’s the way they entwine their fingers with mine as they run through the streets, perhaps...i’ll never know. it’s like some kind of magic.
the blue eyes caught mine and for a brief moment, they stared right through me. we haven’t even talked, yet it feels like they know me already. people came and went, becoming fast friends and leaving just as quickly.
except for the blue eyes.
what a joke. i haven’t felt so fragile until i met them. every time they came, it filled my tired heart with joy. i would say it lasted, but people come and go, and their lives are extinguished just as hastily as they flourished in their life.
seven. they’ve spent seven lives with me, yet every time we cross paths again, they remember nothing but the fact that i looked familiar.
the blue eyes blinked, and i felt unutterably embarrassed for staring so long. however, they held no contempt, merely curiosity as they looked down, and i realised they were venturing over in my direction.
just like last time.
i wish i could die.
to live a normal life like others, to grow, age, and wither, having lived life to the fullest in its short time.
how do i live life to the fullest when it won’t ever end? everything felt meaningless at this point; i’ve done everything that there is.
the naivety in people aroused nothing but disdain in me, and i prefered limiting interactions to merely small talk. the loneliness is crippling, but at least i can keep my sanity from running wild due to the mundane blabber that pours out in endless streams from their mouths.
the only one who truly made me feel alive again was the one with the blue eyes. alive with elation, alive with pain.
they were coming closer now. my neck felt hot and uncomfortable. i wanted them, to know them again and share secrets, to feel like someone understood me again. but to have to lose them to death once more...i wish i could say the loneliness would kill me.
the blue eyes were right in front of me now, staring unblinkingly at me. i wanted to run, run away like the pathetic being i am. my legs wouldn’t move, rooted on the ground like two steel poles. dammit.
the blue eyes looked at me with a gaze that was neither scrutinising nor welcoming, simply naive curiosity that sent a nostalgic chill down my spine.
averting my gaze from his irises, i examined their features. light freckles dotted pale skin, and pink hairclips with obscene designs adorned his messy blond hair. i resisted a grimace at the hooded sweater they sported, a strange combination of pastel pink and profane quotes. i shook it off; it’s 2020, after all.
i looked up once again to see a small smile on their face, their eyes bright with inquisition. he opened his mouth, ready to say the line that had been echoing in my mind for centuries.
‘you look familiar. do i know you from somewhere?’