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“Wake up!” someone tugs Jimin's arm, causing him to groan in his sleep. “Jiminie hyung! We're going somewhere!” the person keeps waking him up, now shaking his whole body to make sure Jimin will open his eyes but he keeps them closed and shifted himself comfortably on the bed. However, the one waking him up is really trying hard, gently removing the plushie he's hugging and boops his nose.
Jimin groans once again, muttering an incoherent complaint before he opens his eyes and meet Jungkook's. The boy is pouting right now as if he's sulking to get Jimin's attention and Jimin can't help but to smile, despite the fact that he woke him up to his deep sleep. “Jungkookie, stop pouting. I'm awake now.” he gets up from the bed and sits there first for a while, next to Jungkook. “Do you have something to do right now?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Hyung, we're going to the beach. We talked about this yesterday and oh,” he grabs something from the table beside the bed and shows it to Jimin. “I bought this one and decided to make it useful today.“
It's a video camera. Jimin stares at it, scanning the details before he looks back up at Jungkook. “What are you gonna do with this? Never thought you're into filming.” he asks, touching the thing as well and he feels his fingers accidentally touching Jungkook's softly which sends a strange feeling in Jimin's belly.
"I want to... film? The beach is such a good place to do it, that's why.” Jungkook's smiles. “Don't worry, I already asked your parents and your little brother if it's okay that we will go there and spend the whole day together. They love me, so...” he shrugs and gives Jimin a smug look.
“I wonder why,” Jimin eyes Jungkook from head to toe before he grimaces jokingly. “You're annoying.” he says that made Jungkook glare at him.
“But you love me.” Jungkook moves his eyebrows up and down, giving Jimin that teasing look before he wraps an arm around his best friend's waist and pulls him down, making the both of them fall down on the bed, cuddling. “Let's stay here for a while and cuddle, I missed you.” he puts his leg on Jimin's and nuzzles his head on Jimin's neck.
It's not like they're a couple. Well, they could look like a really sweet couple but the thing is, they're not. Everything they do that seems like what couples can only do is purely platonic and that won't cross the boundaries of them as best friends. Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook grew up together in their beautiful hometown, Busan, and established a really great kind of relationship as friends that they are so inseparable until now. They think... nothing and no one can break them apart.
Jimin was only twelve ears old when he met the ten year old, adorable boy in the neighborhood ten years ago. That was summer as he can remember, and he was playing with a stray puppy that's actually owned by Jungkook, who lives in the house next to theirs. At first, they almost fought because Jimin wanted to take the puppy home and jungkook was opposed to that. However, things escalated quickly and they actually decided to be the owners of the puppy, promised each other to take care of it until it grows up that they even signed a fake contract.
They didn't realize, they've been taking care of each other through the years as well, creating a bond that never breaks, growing a type of love that only the two of them would share. Jimin and Jungkook, they became the best of friends, with a confusion in their minds as they grew up. They can't seem to decipher what's the thing that still makes them confused. But Jimin is starting to realize it by now, as the time goes by.
Being with Jungkook everyday has side effects to his heart. Seeing that sweet smile, those beautiful doe eyes of the boy on a daily makes Jimin feel butterflies in his stomach, but he tries to ignore it as much as he can, knowing that he would just have his heart broken if he ever falls in love with his best friend who feels nothing but love as friends or probably... brothers. He knows, if that ever happens, the way they treat each other might change.
But Jimin can't just help it. Everyday, Jungkook would visit him, or he would visit Jungkook for cuddles or movies or video games and it's so hard to stop himself from falling. The things they do are so far from what normal friends do. The weird feeling keeps augmenting day by day, and if it doesn't stop, he thinks he might ruin their golden friendship.
“Jungkookie, when will you ever get a girlfriend or boyfriend?” Jimin asks all of a sudden, placing an arm on Jungkook's tummy. “I mean, you're single since birth. And you're always with me. Why don't you try looking for someone? Being single forever is boring.”
Jungkook heaves a sigh. “I just can't find someone, hyung. I don't want to find another person when I already have you.”
That's it. It's one of those things that Jimin hates so much about Jungkook. He just says something out of the blue and Jimin would easily feel his heart thumping faster and his cheeks heating up. Jungkook is so good at words.
Jimin tries to cover up by faking a laugh and slapping Jungkook's tummy softly. “Shut up. I'm your best friend, that's different from a real relationship.”
“Well... maybe I would just let it flow.” Jungkook says in a serious tone. “We don't look for love, hyung. It just comes, probably in the most unexpected ways and time. We don't force it to happen. We feel it.” he rises his head up and scoots up on the bed, planting his elbows on the pillow and putting his head on his hand, smiling at Jimin who seems to be listening carefully to what he says.
“Hyung, what are you thinking about? Do you feel love by now?”
Jimin stares at him, spacing out at first but when he realized he's been doing a staring game with Jungkook, he glances away. “O-Of course, I do. You love me as much as I do, Jungkookie.” then he emerges from the bed, not wanting to increase the awkwardness between them. “I'm just gonna change clothes, then we'll go to the beach.” he boops Jungkook's nose before he rummaged through his closet to search for clothes to wear.
The walk to the beach only took minutes. Jungkook excitedly runs towards the see with the video camera in his hand and Jimin following him behind. It's the usual scene at the beach. There are many people around, enjoying the heat of summer, taking pictures bg the sea, building sand castles and swimming, some are probably waiting for the sunset. Jimin smiles, enjoying the feeling of the sand under his slippers as he stares at Jungkook who's already filming the view.
When Jimin gets closer to Jungkook, the younger lifts the camera to Jimin's face, including him in his video. Jimin tries to cover his face at first, shy, but Jungkook pulls them down.
“Hyung, don't cover your face. This camera would be so lucky to have a footage of your beauty.” he chuckles.
“Jungkookie, you should film the view instead.” Jimin insists.
“You are the view.” Jungkook replies quickly that Jimin almost didn't finish his sentence. “So, Park Jimin. Do you love this place?” he starts asking questions, the camera lens facing him as well as the sun that adds beauty to his face.
“Of course,” Jimin answers. “Is this an interview?”
“When is the first time you met me here?” Jungkook follows up another question.
Jimin's forehead creases. “Jungkookie! We didn't meet here. We met in front of our house ten years ago, not here, you silly.”
Jungkook clears his throat. “R-Right. I almost forgot. I mean, when is the first time we went here?” he asks again, emphasizing the word went.
Jimin's face lit up upon remembering the first time they went here, eager and excited to tell it to Jungkook and to the video camera. “That's also ten years ago. We used to walk our dog around the neighborhood and discovered the beach. This is where we made our first pinky promise.” he explains very well, getting carried on and forgetting that Jungkook's probably just filming him for fun. “Do you still have questions, Mr. interviewer?”
“State your name, please, as well as the first promise you made me if you can still remember.”
“My name's Park Jimin,” he waves at the camera in little moves of his fingers as if he's really getting an interview. “I promise to be with Jeon Jungkook all the time and protect him and be his best friend forever. Is that it?” he smirks.
Jungkook giggles. “Okay, last question, Park Jimin. Do you love Jeon Jungkook?” he asks, as if he's a real interviewer and not Jungkook. Jimin bites his lip, feeling his heart thumping faster in his chest again before he bravely comes up with an answer to that kind of question.
“I do love Jeon Jungkook.” he smiles a little.
“Last question. If you're with Jeon Jungkook right now, what's your new promise to him?” Jungkook asks, fingers clutching onto the camera almost so tight which Jimin notices but chooses to ignore.
Jimin heaves a sigh at first before he speaks. “Uh... Jungkookie, my first promise to you will be my promise everyday. That will never change because I will always fulfill it. I will always be with you, protect you and be by your side forever.” he smiles before he claps his hands once, a cue for Jungkook to end the little interview with his best friend.
Jungkook turns off the video camera and chuckles at Jimin. “That was... great.”
“Don't tell me you will make fun of that video.” Jimin shoots dagger at him.
“No. Actually...” Jungkook holds the camera up, staring at it before his gaze goes back to Jimin. “I will keep the video for a future use.”
Jimin's eyebrow cocks up in curiosity. “Future use?”
“Oh! Yes! Future use because... I would use the video against you if you ever forget me.”
But then, Jungkook knows Jimin isn't the one to forget.
Jimin can only roll his eyes. “I will fight you, yes. But I will never forget you.” he gently ruffles Jungkook's soft hair before he pulls him by his wrist to lead him closer to the sea. “It's almost sunset. We should wait.”
“Yeah.”
They took a seat on the sand, feet almost close to the seawater that meets the shore when it waves. The sun is going to disappear in a few minutes, and Jimin would love to witness it with Jungkook. Jimin would never get tired of spending every beautiful moment with him. Everything that relates to Jungkook is just very important to Jimin.
Jungkook takes his video camera out, turns it on once again and holds it up to Jimin's face. Jimin, however, didn't budge. His eyes stay on the borderline of the sea where the sunset would occur, just letting Jungkook film him.
“Day one.” Jungkook says, before he starts filming the sea and the sun. “Sea. Sun. Moon. Jimin.” all the words he said were clear to Jimin's ears. He looks at Jungkook with a confused and curious expression. Why did he chanted those words as if he's trying to memorize something?
“Why did you say those words?” Jimin asks.
Jungkook shrugs and continues filming, waiting for the sun to go down. “Nothing. Just wanna tell my video camera all the good things I see today.” he explains.
“And I'm one of them.” Jimin smiles teasingly.
“You're the best one.” Jungkook winks then he shifts his gaze to the sun that's starting to set. “Sunset. Busan. Jimin.” he chants some words again, and again, Jimin's name is included. He's starting to wonder why Jungkook keeps chanting them which isn't that necessary when he's already filming those things he kept saying. “Sun. Moon. Sea. Sunset. Skies. Busan. Jimin. Park Jimin.” Jungkook repeats, audible enough for Jimin and for the camera.
Jimin just ignores. Maybe it's the way how Jungkook keeps the memories he would never want to forget. And the fact that Jimin is part of those things Jungkook loves to cherish causes another weird feeling in his stomach. Damn Jeon Jungkook.
As the sun descends and the moon appears from the sky, the two of them relishes the beautiful moment. They're used to watch sunsets or sunrises, used to sit on the shore and meet the waves hitting their feet, used to beautiful things like this, however, it still feels somehow new and different every single time. Maybe it's because being with each other everyday is like a blink of an eye. Everything passes by like a blur that the both of them thinks that if this ends one day, they won't be able to bear with it.
It's already dark when Jimin and Jungkook decided to go home.
“Let's make my camera useful everyday—wait.” Jungkook abruptly halts upon realizing something in the middle of walking back home. His eyes widening, turning to Jimin. “Do you have my camera, hyung?” he asks nervously.
Jimin's forehead creases. “Jungkook, you're the only one who has it the whole day.” he replies. “Let's go back to the beach, you probably forgot it.” he insists, pulling Jungkook with him to go back to the beach.
That's where it all started.
Jimin starts noticing the often times that Jungkook forgets something, even the usual things they do everyday or the important little details about something.
Once, Jungkook forgot about Jimin's phone number when he actually had it probably imprinted on his brain before. There's also one time where Jungkook forgot where he put his camera, or his phone, or any stuff he owns. He just... forgets some things more often now. They had little fights too because Jungkook couldn't remember what's the answer to some of Jimin's simple questions.
As much as Jimin wants to ignore it, he can't. Day by day, whenever Jungkook films him, he tries to open up the topic if something's going on with Jungkook lately, but he's scared to find out the truth. Those times, where Jungkook films him with his video camera and chanting those simple keywords he wants to cherish... everything just starts to make sense.
Jungkook doesn't want to forget about Jimin, quite literally.
“Day thirteen.” Jungkook speaks, holding up the camera to Jimin's face. They're in Jimin's room right now, watching movies and eating their favorite snacks, and of course, they cuddled. “Jimin's room. Movies. Ice cream. Ramen. Cuddles. Jimin.” he chants some words again. “Hyung, how's the day today?” he asks.
Jimin turns the volume down of the television so his answers will be heard clearly. “Just another day with Jeon Jungkook. We watched movies, cuddled, and ate our favorite snacks.” he says with a smile.
“What's our favorite movie?” Jungkook adds another question.
“Iron man!”
“It's our... favorite?” the younger asks as if he's not sure if Jimin's answer is correct. “Oh, r-right. I'm so silly.” he fakes a chuckle.
Jimin stares at him. “Why do you love filming me, Jungkook?” that question slipped out from his mouth as if he's been waiting for long to ask it to his best friend who keeps giving him confusions lately. “You can film the flowers in the garden. You can film your little sister. You can film your bike. But why me? We're literally with each other everyday.”
Jungkook's hand trembles while holding the camera before he turns it off to answer Jimin's question. “Hyung, it's because you're my muse.” he simply answers but he sounded very tensed. “Everything I see around... they're not as beautiful as you. I want to remember every detail of your face everyday.”
“That's my point.” Jimin grabs the camera from Jungkook's hand. “You use this to remember me. But why? Why do you want to remember me when we see each other twenty-four seven? Jungkook? Are you keeping something from me?” he cups Jungkook's cheeks and stares at him with a worried expression. “Are you forgetting me?”
There's a tear brimming in Jungkook's eyes that made Jimin confirm his suspicions. Why is this happening?
“H-Hyung... I don't want to...” Jungkook sniffles and that's where he starts crying, pulling Jimin so tight in his arms Jimin thinks he won't be able to breathe if this lasts for long. But he doesn't care. All that matters right now is Jungkook. “Hyung... my camera is the only thing that will help me remember you if the time comes that I don't know your name anymore.”
Jimin hugs him so tight. “I'm here, I'm here. Stop crying...” he whispers softly. “You won't forget me, Jungkookie. I will never leave your side so you will always be reminded that I exist.” he gently rocks their bodies back and forth to ease Jungkook's worries even though he's completely aware that it's useless. Time will come that Jungkook will forget everything about Jimin, about everything they spent together through the years as if they didn't happen, as if they're just a beautiful dream passing through and immediately getting long forgotten.
Jungkook breaks apart from the hug and stares at Jimin with a faint smile on his face. “J-Jimin... your name is... Jimin. My Jimin.” Jungkook mutters from his trembling lips as he caresses Jimin's cheek gently.
“Jungkook's Jimin.” Jimin adds with a reassuring nod.
The following months seemed very different for the two of them.
Jungkook's dementia gradually worsens each day, symptoms are starting to appear more often than before, the diagnosis just helping to decelerate the other symptoms. And Jimin just tries to ignore that one day, Jungkook will completely forget about him. He tries to survive everyday, however, his heart just can't take it, seeing the love of his life, his best friend, suffering because he's doing all his best to not forget about Jimin. There was a one time where he cried so hard because he didn't remember the recipe to Jimin's favorite cake, also when he didn't remember how they met and he even forgot where Jimin lives. It's so heartbreaking for Jimin to witness, but he knows it's harder for Jungkook, who's still fighting his own condition. His parents suggested nursing home which Jimin was glad about. It means he still can see Jungkook everyday.
Jungkook's video camera became too useful as he uses it on a daily, filming Jimin and asking questions that he probably forgotten or questions that has answers that he needs to keep in his mind, like what is Jimin's favorite food, Jimin's favorite color, Jimin's favorite movie, Jimin's favorite book, and all the things that is related to Jimin. He just doesn't want the name Jimin to vanish from his mind. He's trying all his best.
“Day sixty-one,” Jungkook begins after holding up the camera to the scenery in above them. They're on the roofdeck of Jungkook's house, stargazing. “Or night sixty-one, whatever. Darkness. Night. Stars. Moon. Jimin.” he chants the important words again and then he points the camera to Jimin who's currently staring up above too, sadness evident in his eyes as if he's wishing upon the stars.
“Jimin hyung!” Jungkook calls, making Jimin look at him. “Do you love looking at the stars?” he asks like a very innocent child, the older cooing at his cuteness.
Jimin smiles at the camera first. “Especially when I'm with you. Stars just shine brighter when we're together.”
“Would you go to the moon someday with me, Jimin hyung?” Jungkook asks with a sweet smile and hopeful eyes staring at Jimin from the viewfinder of his camera. He then holds it up at the sky and includes the moon in the clip before he points it back to Jimin, waiting for an answer.
“Do you want to go to the moon with me?”
“Yes. I would love to. Would you do it with me, Jimin hyung?”
Despite the darkness, Jimin can still see the twinkle in the younger's doe eyes. He really holds the prettiest stars in his eyes and Jimin can't get enough of them. He won't be lying if he says that he can stare at those eyes forever as they seem to hypnotize Jimin in a different way, in a beautiful way. Those eyes brought love to him.
“Sure.” Jimin winks, teasing.
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“Day or night sixty-one.” Jungkook clears his throat. “Jimin hyung promised to go the moon with me.” he says as his zooms the camera to the moon, then zooming it out then zooming it in again, until he does it repeatedly in a playful way. They both giggled because of what Jungkook did then he turns the camera off. They silenced.
“I—” Jungkook attempts to say something but immediately stopped, as if he realized something.
“What is it?” Jimin asks, looking at the younger.
Jungkook's biting his lips, just staring at the moon and trying to collect himself before he says something that he's been keeping in his mind. However, the words easily falls off from his mouth when he turned to look at Jimin. Jimin is love.
“I love you.”
Jimin froze from his seat, scanning Jungkook's features and trying to check if he's just playing, but he seems really serious about it, eyes widening upon realizing what he said before he starts mumbling apologetic words in a panicking voice. Jimin giggles at that, removing Jungkook's hands that are covering his face because he was too flustered from his own confession.
“Jungkookie...” the elder caresses Jungkook's cheek softly. “You love me?”
“I—yes. I love you, n-not just as my best friend but... I love you because... yeah, I love you.” Jungkook nods. “Oh my god, I shouldn't be saying this. You will—”
That's it. Those are the words needed for Jimin to decide that he will be with Jungkook forever.
“I love you, too.” Jimin cuts him off. “I love you and I will never stop loving you.” he leans in and presses a long kiss on Jungkook's forehead. It's his reassurance, his promise, that as long as he's alive, he's there to hold Jungkook, to love Jungkook. Or maybe he would still love Jungkook even in another lifetime.
Would Jungkook do that to Jimin?
There's no certainty about it. Years would pass and Jungkook will completely forget his name and who Jimin is to his life, even everything about them. That's the certain one.
Even if Jungkook promised Jimin something, it's futile.
“I wanted to say it before I... forget.” Jungkook mutters. “I want you to be my reminder about love, and all the good things I say in every video. All those words... they lead me to you.”
One day, all of their memories will vanish into thin air and will no longer be remembered by Jungkook.
They are in love today.
Jimin always loves Jungkook.
But soon, it's just gonna be “Jungkook was in love with Jimin.”
Especially when Jungkook entered the middle stage of dementia.
“You're the only one who has it every single day! Why are you blaming me?” Jimin yells in a frustrated tone, staring at Jungkook in disbelief as the younger rummages in Jimin's room, looking for his video camera that he lost.
“We were together the last time I have it!” Jungkook retorts.
“Jungkook, you went home with it in your hands.” the elder pulls Jungkook who's kneeling down on the floor to search for his camera under Jimin's bed. He holds Jungkook's arms and pulled him into a tight hug. “Jungkook, hey... Jungkook... you will find it, okay? Don't worry.” Jimin whispers in Jungkook's ear while he's hugging him and carressing his back softly to calm the younger.
Jungkook sniffles. “Hyung, that camera contains our memories, I—I don't want to lose them. Hyung, those videos will remind me of you...” he squeezes his eyes shut as he cries in loud sobs, holding on to Jimin like he doesn't want to let go of him ever, like his life completely depends on Jimin.
“Baby,” Jimin mumbles, pulling apart before kissing Jungkook's forehead. “We will find it, okay?”
Jungkook slowly nods and wipes the tear off his face.
Jimin can't bear seeing Jungkook suffering like this. His heart is breaking into tiny pieces, and he's sure it will never be fixed again. Dementia is slowly taking over Jungkook's brain and nerves, affecting his memory and way of behaving. They started to argue often, Jungkook started to become short-tempered and frustrated even in small things. If that's not an obvious evident that Jungkook's starting to enter the middle stage then Jimin doesn't know what is.
Later that day, the two of them spent their time cuddling in Jimin's bed, peppering each other soft kisses and saying those three words repeatedly, forgetting about the fact that Jungkook still haven't found his camera yet. They will take care of that the next day.
Jungkook fell asleep in Jimin's arms, for once tried to ignore what is really happening to him because he feels safe and contented in Jimin's embrace. That's all he asks for.
“Are you sure you didn't leave it somewhere else?” Jimin asks, searching for the video camera in Jungkook's room anywhere he can.
“I can't remember, hyung.”
“Right.” Jimin chuckles bitterly.
The door suddenly opens. Jimin and Jungkook both looking down atJungkook's little brother that just entered the room, a camera in his hand. “Jungkookie hyung, this is yours, right? You left it in my room last night after we played.”
“Did we play—” Jungkook shakes his head. “Oh, right. I forgot.” he fakes a chuckle before grabbing the video camera from his brother's hand. He smiles at Jimin who's currently looking at him with sad eyes, but there's still a faint smile on his lips.
Once Jungkook's little brother left the room, there's suddenly a deafening silence between Jimin and Jungkook as the both of them are aware how bad the condition is affecting Jungkook's memory and even his life. They were arguing last night about a damn camera, that was actually just left forgotten by Jungkook in his brother's room.
“Hyung—”
“Jungkookie. It's okay.” Jimin immediately replies before Jungkook could even say something, holding the younger's hand and squeezing it softly. “Don't worry. L-Let's just... use your camera today. What about that, baby?”
Jungkook nods. “Yeah, hyung.” he replies in agreement. “What day is it?”
Years had passed for the both of them and something that Jimin avoids happening seems to be really inevitable no matter how much he tries to stop it.
For two years, all they did was filming using Jungkook's video camera, not missing a single day into making it useful for Jungkook. They spent all the days being together, doing the cliché things couples would do like cuddling and cooking. There are times where Jungkook forgets every important detail about them but they both tried to ignore it, the worsening of his dementia.
They just tried to be happy, to be in love, as it was Jungkook's request.
Jimin promised to do it everyday. But how can a promise be fulfilled when the person who asked you to do it doesn't remember anything anymore? Except the few words he had always chanted in his videos.
Home. Happiness. Love. Jimin.
They all become too familiar in Jimin's ears as well.
However, there are times when Jungkook forgets about his video camera. They skip some days when it happens and Jimin doesn't know if he should remind Jungkook about it. He might break down again if he realizes he forgot something so important to him. There are times as well when he remembers about it, asks Jimin often to get the camera for him because he always loses track of it.
The video camera, the only thing that helps Jungkook be reminded of all the things he doesn't want to forget. Jimin doesn't know how the camera is able to keep all of those videos, they're too many. Or maybe Jungkook transferred some of them to another device.
Jungkook's parents try to calm him down as he tries to get out of his room, yelling incoherent words about coming home. Jimin can only stare with tears in his eyes while he covers his mouth with his hands.
Jungkook forgot that he lives in this place. Jungkook forgot who his parents are.
“I'm coming home! I'm going to Jimin!” Jungkook says in a frustrated tone. “Don't touch me! I don't even know you!” he glares at his parents. His mother is crying while holding onto his son's arms for life. She looks as scared as her husband and Jimin.
“Take me to Jimin! I don't live here!” Jungkook tries to recoil from his parents’ hold but he feels weak. Without Jimin.
Jimin, who's standing behind the scene, walks up in front of Jungkook to cup his cheeks. He can't bear seeing Jungkook suffer too much like this. “Baby... I'm here...” he says with a smile.
Jungkook, who was crying so hard and begging his parents to take him to his lover, suddenly calms down upon seeing Jimin's face. His features soften, eyes staring back at Jimin's fervently. “Hyung? You're here?”
“Yes.” Jimin nods. “You're still home.”
The younger nods in agreement innocently. “Home. Yeah. Jimin is home.”
Jimin's parents let go of Jungkook when they saw their son smiling. His mother looks at Jimin in surprise, as if she didn't expect that Jungkook would be calmed so fast by Jimin. Jimin gives them a reassuring smile and told them that he can take care of Jungkook for now.
“Jungkookie, do you want to be with me forever?” Jimin asks in a soft voice, removing the strands of Jungkook's hair that fell down on his face, covering his eyes.
“F-Forever?” Jungkook nods again and smiles so wide. “I want to!” he happily says.
“Then stay.”
Jungkook nods again. “Camera, Jimin. Give me my camera.”
“Okay, baby.”
Jimin quickly gets inside Jungkook's room to get his video camera that's settled on the table beside his bed. He grabs it before going back in the living room to give it to Jungkook who's already sitting on the couch and waiting for Jimin.
“Thank you, Jimin.” Jungkook smiles. Jimin takes a seat next to him.
When he finally got the camera in his hands, his turns it on and holds it up to Jimin. “Day...” he closes his eyes tight, trying to remember the day count. “It's day—fuck.” he sighs shakingly. “Jimin, what day is it?”
“Day five hundred and ninety.” Jimin replies. “What should we do today, Jungkookie?”
“Jimin, do you love me?”
“Yes.” Jimin gives an immediate answer. “Always, Jungkook.”
“Will you still stay by my side even if...” his voice quivers. “even if I don't remember your name anymore?”
Jimin nods. “Yes.”
“I love you, Jimin.”
“I love you, Jungkook.”
Another year passed in a blur and everything started to fall apart between Jungkook and Jimin.
“Jimin-ssi! I'm glad you're here again.” Jungkook's mother welcomes him with a smile, opening the door wider to let Jimin in. Jimin took off his rained on shoes before stepping inside the house. “Jungkook is in his room, go to him. He's surely waiting for you.”
It's been three days of not seeing Jungkook because Jimin has to go to Seoul to find himself a university. His parents decided that he should go back to studying after two years of just taking care of Jungkook. As much as Jimin hates being away from his boyfriend, he just agreed with his parents. He can still visit Jungkook often even if he's in another place far from Busan.
“Is he doing well?” Jimin asks.
“I don't want to tell this to you but I'm too worried for him. He was crying last night, looking for you. He kept saying your name. And he broke down again just today.” the mother replies. “That's why I'm glad you're here now. I hope my son won't be a burden.”
“No way he's a burden to me. I will always put him first in everything.” Jimin gives her a reassuring smile. “School starts in a month, so I still have more time to be with Jungkook.”
“Thank you so much, Jimin, for being so patient with my son.” she hugs Jimin after, caressing his back.
When Jimin got inside Jungkook's room, he saw a mess.
Things are scattered on the floor. The flower vase Jimin gave him on his birthday were broken into pieces beside Jungkook's bed. The roses Jimin gave to him wilted.
And the worse part of it all, is to see Jungkook on the bed, crying with his arms on his knees. He's sobbing silently, looking weak and hopeless. Tears brimmed in Jimin's eyes upon witnessing the heart shattering scene in front of him.
“Jungkook...” Jimin calls out and walks towards Jungkook.
When the younger looks up at him, there's a confused look on his face. “Who are you?”
That's the most painful part.
Jimin knows there would be a day where Jungkook forgets about him, and it happened just now.
But Jimin needs to be strong. He promised Jungkook that he will stay by his side even if he doesn't remember Jimin anymore.
“Baby...” Jimin takes a seat in front of Jungkook. “I'm Jimin. Don't you remember?” he holds Jungkook's hand.
Jungkook recoils from it and glares at Jimin. “No! I don't know Jimin! Go away!” he shouts and backs away from his boyfriend.
“Jungkook, I'm your boyfriend. It's me, Park Jimin.”
“No! No!”
Jimin quickly scans the place and looks for something. When he found it on the table, he grabs it and turns it on. The camera is still here. Jungkook didn't keep it somewhere else where he won't be able to find it.
“Jungkook, watch this.” Jimin holds the camera close to Jungkook to let him see the last clip they filmed two weeks ago. They were at the balcony that time and watching the moon.
Jungkook, who's still confused, watches the clip with forehead creased. He grabs the camera from Jimin and continues watching it.
“Jungkook, that's you and me. Don't you remember?” Jimin asks once again.
“J-Jimin? Love? Home?” Jungkook's face lit up. “Jimin means... love and... home?” he asks in an innocent tone.
“Yes, baby.” Jimin caresses Jungkook's cheek to wipe the tears away. “I love you.”
“Jimin?” Jungkook looks up at him again.
“Yes, it's me.”
“Love.. you.” he nods.
“I love you. Always.“ Jimin smiles.
“Love you. Jimin... always.”
Jimin hugs him so tight. He's home again. They're still home.
“Jimin... want... want to see moon.” Jungkook whispers softly.
“It's raining, Jungkook. You can't see it.”
“No! I wanna see!” Jungkook breaks apart from the hug and rushes towards the balcony. Jimin immediately follows behind him, scared that something might happen. When Jungkook steps outside the balcony, he looks up at the sky.
The rain is pouring hard and it got the both of them wet. Jungkook's still trying to find the moon. Jimin stands behind him.
“Where's moon?” he asks, voice shaky.
“I told you, you can't see it tonight. It's raining hard.” Jimin explains. “Jungkook, let's go back inside. You will get sick.”
“I want to see it!” Jungkook then suddenly runs back inside. Jimin follows him again, only to see Jungkook going out of his room as well. To Jimin's horror, he immediately rushes outside to make sure Jungkook is okay.
They reached the front yard of the house. Jungkook's wandering and still searching for the moon.
“Jungkook!” Jimin calls.
Jungkook steps on the road and Jimin worriedly rushes towards him.
“You told me we'll go to the moon! I want to see it!” Jungkook argues, eyes still on the sky. He reaches the other side of the road and smiles at Jimin. “Jimin! I'm gonna find it soon!” he looks up again.
Jimin watches as Jungkook looks up at the night sky with hopeful eyes and smile. He looks so beautiful. They're a few meters from each other. Jungkook's standing on the other side, happily looking for the moon. While Jimin, who's standing in front of their house, is on the verge of crying.
Jungkook lost all their memories except for Jimin's name, and some words like moon, promise, love and home. His brain might be having memory loss, but Jimin knows that he's still trying.
“Jungkook! Come back here! Let's go back home!” Jimin shouts. Jungkook might not hear him since the rain is too loud.
The younger's eyes fall upon Jimin and he smiles again and nods. “Home!” He steps on the pavement, and starts running back towards Jimin, towards his home.
Then suddenly, an exhilarating car came to the view.
Jimin's eyes widen as he stares at Jungkook who's happily running towards him, body going frozen and helpless before he witnessed how the car runs into Jungkook. A loud thud resonates in the place when Jungkook got hit and fell to the ground. Jimin feels like he's getting deaf.
Jimin's still in shock. Doesn't know what to do, especially when his eyes landed on the lifeless boy on the road, blood rushing from his head, eyes peacefully closed.
Little did Jimin know, all those clips in the video camera aren't for Jungkook to keep, but for Jimin.
He never thought this is the tragic aftermath of their love and their desperation to be happy together despite Jungkook's condition. Jimin thought they could be okay, even if Jungkook doesn't know him. Because as long as Jungkook is alive, the love will never change. They're a living proof of the love that transcended everything.
Jimin lost Jungkook. Once again.
There's a knock on the door and Jimin immediately opens it. With puffy eyes, he looks down at the kid who's holding up a familiar object to him.
Jungkook's brother, Jungwoo, tries to hand Jimin the video camera Jungkook uses before. “Jimin hyung, I found this in Jungkookie hyung's room. I saw the videos. Maybe you need it.”
To be honest, Jimin doesn't like to see anything that reminds him of Jungkook for now. It's been six months since Jungkook died from that incident and Jimin's still not able to bear with the grief and great pain. Seeing the video camera right now makes him want to cry. But Jungkook once taught him to be strong. He won't cry in front of his lover's brother.
“Thank you.” Jimin ruffles the kid's hair.
“Jimin hyung, I know you're sad about his death, but he loves you so much. He doesn't want to see you like that.” Jungwoo hugs Jimin's waist. “Be strong for him. He was strong for you before, do it for him too.”
Jimin nods, a tear cascading down his cheek. “Thank you.”
When the kid exits the place, Jimin plops down on the mattress and turns the camera on. All their memories suddenly came flashing back, that even if he's not playing the first clip yet, he's already shaking and sobbing.
He misses Jungkook.
Jimin tries to find the videos. But there's nothing in there except for one. It's not a video of Jimin that Jungkook used to film before, but a video of Jungkook himself.
Jimin presses the play button.
The first seconds of the video is Jungkook waving at the camera with a smile. Jimin feels like his heart his breaking upon seeing Jungkook's beautiful smile once again. The smile he had before he ran towards Jimin, to his home, before getting hit by a car.
“Hello, Jimin hyung.” those were Jungkook's first words. “I don't even know if I'll be able to show you this. It's getting worse.” he chuckles.
“But since I want to keep remembering things, I'd still tell everything to this precious video camera.” Jungkook sighs. “Growing up with you, I started learning the concept of love. Funny how everyone can't even describe what love really is when it has definite meanings for me. Love is when I look at you and I see everything I'm looking for. Love is hearing your voice. Love is cuddling you. Love is being able to wake up in the morning and with you next to me. Love is coming home. Love is staring at the moon. Love is promising each other to never let go. Love is you. Love means you, Jimin hyung. I'm glad there's love everyday. And I know it will never fade even if I forget everything. Because you're still here with me. Love will always be there if you're by my side.”
Jimin wipes his tears away, wants to stop the video because it hurts too much but he wants to hear Jungkook's voice again.
It feels like coming home anyway.
“Jimin hyung, I don't want to forget your name. That's why I keep filming you every single day and saying all the words that will remind me of you. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I really love you so much. I don't think I can live without you. You're the only one I want to wake up to every morning and stargaze with every night. You're the only one I want to love. Call me selfish and funny, but ever since we were kids, it's just always been you. I hope you'll be strong for me, as much as I'm trying to stay strong for you, for this love. I hope you will never leave me even if I forget about you, even if I can't mutter a single word anymore because of my condition. Because you're the only one who keeps me alive, Jimin hyung. Living like this is frustrating and like hell when all the memories start to vanish. But since you're here, I decided to push through, to keep trying.”
“You're the only proof that I was once very happy, Jimin hyung. So I hope you fulfill all your promises to me. Will you still stay? Ah, you're not even hearing me right now, but I hope you would. I want to spend a lifetime just with you. You're the only one that gives me strength, so don't leave me, yeah? I promise, I will stay despite losing my memories. I will promise you a lifetime.”
Jimin clutches the camera so tight, hands shaking as he cries to hard, Jungkook's voice still resonating in the room.
“I will move the other videos to my computer in my room. If times comes that I don't know you anymore, make me watch all of them. I love you, Jimin hyung. So much.”
Ironic how Jungkook asked Jimin to stay, when he's the one who left. Jimin turns the camera off and buried his face on the mattress, hands clutching onto the sheets tightly as he sobs, tears won't stop falling down on his cheeks.
“I love you, Jungkook.” Jimin whispers.