Chapter Text
So you might be thinking, 'He didn't need to get me a gift, I'm just his best friend's brother.' Well you are kinda right, though you're not just his brother to me.
Renjun's 1st year of high school was one of his worst, it was the type of year that didn't give him a break. The first couple of months was just filled with utter loneliness since he didn't really talk much (or at all). Each grueling day felt like shit, and not only that but, damn was he real depressed. Life didn't feel the same anymore, and everything felt so bland. That was until Jeno came into his life with a simple question, "Hey, is that Ms.Bae's work you're doing right now?"
Ever since that moment, Jeno & Renjun became friends and started to talk a lot more often. You'd think that Renjun's depression and loneliness will go poof all gone with Jeno around but, sadly that's not how life works. He struggled to understand that it was okay to confide with others, and express his emotions properly. The boy was a bottle filled of guilt, hopelessness, & sadness ready to explode at any minute. And one day it did, and all Jeno could do was to let him cry on his shoulder until he felt alright again. The other had his shitty days too and when they happened, Renjun made sure to chalk up all the advice he could give. He listens and supports him to the very end because he knows that the latter would do the same.
It may sound silly since I don't ever text you or anything (I'm a coward & respect your privacy), but I would like to think you are my friend as well!
Jeno had mentioned his older brother, Mark a couple of times before in passing. He knows that they both share a birthday despite being a year apart. He also knows that Mark goes to an all boys private school upstate through a scholarship program, and that he doesn't really fit in with the rich preppy boys. Whenever Jeno posts a picture or video of him, people immediately ask who he is and if they can get his number. He gets to hear the complaints of annoyance because people keep on using him for his brother, how Mark is better than him and his family don't even try to deny it, and how much he worries about him. It felt like he knew too much about a person that he never met before. Nevertheless because of all the random trivia he got over the course of a year, Renjun vowed to never in ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, like Mark romantically. It was going well until-
It was Christmas day and man was Renjun having the saddest time ever. His dad was at work, older sister out to a party and he was stuck at home with his mom doing chores. He spent his day filled with frustration and loneliness, wanting it to end. With the day almost done and brooding over with, he saw that Jeno had texted him.
"I know you had a sucky day today so I wanted to invite you to go to the Fine Arts museum with Mark! And if your mom asks if there are any adults coming with, my older cousin is coming as well!! Let me know if you have any questions!"
Immediately he ran to his mom and asked if he could go, making sure to mention that there was going to be an adult present with them. Happy that her son finally has friends to go out with, she agreed wholeheartedly.
The morning came in a blink of an eye and Renjun was over the moon. He's getting out of the house without any family members. Sounds super lame, but man it thrilling for a hermit like him. He quickly got ready for the day with all of his belongings, locked & loaded. Jeno greets his mother before beaming a wide smile at the smaller. "You ready?"
"Hell yeah I am."
Here's the catch, somewhere along the way of befriending you, my heart did a thing.
That's when he finally met the infamous older brother Mark, sitting shot-gun. First impression on him? Painfully awkward and stiff when trying to make conversation with his brother and friend. Was he as cute as people made him to be? A little, but Renjun didn't want to admit it. They got dropped off at the subway station and met up with Taeil, Jeno & Mark's 'cool older cousin'.
"Taeil! This is Renjun, the friend I told you about!"
The said boy gave a light smile to the man and stuck his hand out for a handshake. "It's nice to meet you Taeil! I hope I don't trouble you too much by joining you guys today."
He clasps his hand and gives the younger a couple of shakes before letting go. "It's nice to meet you too Renjun! And not at all, I'm positive that you aren't a bother at all."
With the introductions done, they started their adventure to the big city. Since it was quite early in the morning, the carts were empty so they sat comfortably spaced out. Renjun learned that Taeil was visiting for the holidays and that he worked as an art curator back home. The older man explained that he could get free tickets to the museum because of it, and that's why they wanted to go there in the first place. The four of them talked the whole way through the trip upstate, always engaged with each other. Though as they were conversing, Renjun kept on glancing at Mark. He noticed that the latter was more relaxed compared to when they were in the car. It was a little thing that he noticed and yet a little part of his heart swelled at the sight of him getting more comfortable.
They get into the building and marvel at the size of it and the amount of people in it. They waited for an hour in line (much to Jeno's distaste), and finally got in. As the teenagers walked around the expeditions, Taeil explained the history of some art pieces in the gallery. To his surprise the only person really listening to him was Jeno, but then again the younger was taking art history. Meanwhile the other two were in their own weird world of making up scenarios if they were in the 13th century, or trying to find something that had deeper meaning in a chair. It finally clicked, their personalities connected and now there was no going back from then on.
Thump, thump. It went whenever you quacked laughed, or when you talked to me, or even your mere presence.
The next time Renjun sees Mark again is on his and Jeno's birthday. The pair of friends were at the birthday boy's house after having a little 'party' at the McDonalds near their school to celebrate. The younger had gotten gifts for both boys, even though he wasn't really that close with the latter. He felt bad that Mark might feel left out, so he wanted to give him something too. Since Renjun was on a tight budget, he decided to paint a canvas for each of them. On Jeno's painting, it was a mix of all of his talents and personality, and Mark's was a honey themed one with "Just Bee yourself" drawn across. (During their museum trip, he learned that Mark has a big thing for BumbleBee from Transformers but since he couldn't paint robots, bees was the next option.)
Once the older stepped into the house, Renjun gave him the gift with a letter tied to it. "Happy Birthday, Mark! I hope you like it even if it's a bit random."
He gave the smaller a light chuckle at the pun and a smile back. "You didn't have to, but thank you! It's cute."
The day was filled with celebration for both of the boys. But there were moments of the day that Renjun remembers the most. It was the conversations he had with Mark, the random but welcomed conversations. He learned that they both liked the show "The Good Place" because of the humor and philosophy. That led to talking about how deep into philosophy Mark was in and how it could've caused him to have an existential crisis. The next topic led to the next and next until it was getting dark, and it was time for him to go home. That was until Jeno invited Renjun to join their birthday dinner with their father & step-mom. He had the puppy eyes ready and prepped, and the latter didn't have the heart to disagree with him so he agreed (with parent permission of course).
On the ride to the restaurant, Mark & Renjun were forced to sit in the very back. They didn't mind sitting next to each other, but it was just so tight back there. Despite the mild discomfort and Jeno worrying about Renjun being comfortable, the ride was bearable. The two in the back were talking about their childhood throwback songs with great fun, jamming with the rest of the car. They were making fun of each other and arguing about the most trivial things. This carried over to the dinner table as well to the point that their father asked, "Are you sure you're Jeno's friend and not Mark's?"
That question stuck with Renjun for a while because it was merely friendly banter with a friend. Then why did it feel different?
And at first I didn't understand why it happened, then it dawned on me. I liked you.
Ever since that day, the fun memories they had together got stuck in his head like glue. He couldn't stop thinking about it and how nice it was to have a deep conversation with someone. He couldn't help smiling every time his name was mentioned. This made Renjun curse at himself so HARD. He had to keep his word about not breaking the bro-code of liking your best friend's brother. But, damnit was it hard dude. Mark was just so likeable and it was hard NOT to feel things for him. They clicked so well with each other that both parents acknowledged it. They were seeing each other more often since Jeno & Renjun had classes together and studied some days. This was the first time that he had ever felt this way before and he hated it. So he shoved it away, telling himself that he only admires Mark deeply and that's why he thinks of him that way.
Renjun coped by writing mock confession letters to him, spilling all his emotions into it. He tried to project his crush onto an artist he liked, giving all his energy to him instead. He tried to deflect for so long and it was working for a while. He was so happy that he finally got rid of his childish crush on his friend's brother that he told Jeno about it. Thinking that Jeno would've at least been disappointed in him, he was slightly worried only to have his best friend shrug and say that it was fine. The weight of guilt was off his shoulders and he didn't have to worry about some stupid crush anymore, right?
And I think I still do like you, (maybe with even more intensity.)