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It was dark. That was the first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes. He could hardly tell the difference between his eyes being closed and his eyes opening. Next was perhaps, the lack of feeling. He realized he wasn’t sure how he knew he opened his eyes. Only that he had to have opened them, because he willed them to open. But when he stretched out his hand, there was nothing to be seen. When he breathed in deeply, he did not feel his lungs expand. Perhaps the most jarring, the most unsettling, was that he felt no pain.
The familiar ache in his bones was gone. His stomach did not throb as it should, his chest didn’t hurt. It wasn’t a blessing. It left Toshinori on edge.
There was no chill but there was no warmth either. There was simply nothing.
He had never heard of a quirk like this, but that didn’t mean anything. Not when it came to the man he had been fighting.
He had been fighting. He had been fighting All for One . Someone he had thought he had defeated, someone that he should have defeated. And he had failed, he had failed and his students had gotten hurt. He had failed them and he had failed her .
“Toshinori.”
His head snapped to the side at the voice. There was suddenly feeling, sensation, and a warm breeze to his right. It was familiar, like the sun on his skin as Nana smiled at him. She was there, and with her came light. A soft pink shimmer to the darkness, meeting and blending with the soft light of yellow he now seemed to be shedding himself. With her came feeling but it wasn't pain. It was warmth and gentleness as she cupped his face.
"I don't hurt."
Her smile was just as bright as he remembered it. Her thumbs traced over his skin, soothing away wrinkles he hadn't even been aware he had been holding until she pushed them away. "Oh Toshinori. I'm so sorry you've been carrying that pain so long by yourself."
"Nana, what's going on? Why are you- why am I?"
His breathing tore through him. Suddenly he could breathe again and it came in as sharp and ragged gasps. He could remember. He could remember the fight he had been in only moments before. Standing strong and tall on the cameras even though his body shook. His emaciated form on display for the world as he held out his hand and-
Nana's face flickered to sorrow as he felt his muscles give under her hands. As the hollow shell of a body he now claimed regained its form in this endless night. "Come here. Sit with me. It's been too long and you have so much to tell me Toshi."
Toshinori was about to ask where she meant to have them sit, but a love seat was suddenly at the back of his knees. She pushed him back down onto the seat that was as familiar as she was. Navy blue and speckled with small points of white. They looked like stars but he knew them to be pinpricks from the claws of the cat she had adopted for a short time.
He had named that cat Clarbelle.
For some reason the memory of that cat had tears cascading down his cheeks. It had been so long. So long since he had gone home to that empty house with just him and that cat. So long since he had buried Clarbelle in a small plot of land underneath her favorite gingko tree in the Shimura backyard.
So long since he had had anything physical to remind him of the woman who now gently held him as he sobbed against her. Her fingers gently ran through his hair, soothing as she held him against her. He was soaking her shirt but as the sobs turned into whimpers into sniffles, he noticed that she was completely dry. Her fingers lingered in his wild golden hair as he pulled back. Her deep, dark eyes searched his and she seemed as loathe to let him pull away as he was to even try.
“What is this place?”
“It’s a place that’s always been Toshi.” She murmured softly, her fingers lingering on his chest as she caressed him. Her fingers hovered over where his body should hurt. He could sense the hollowness inside of him, but it didn’t hurt. It just was a feeling of emptiness in his body as her fingers continued to run up and down his chest. Her hand came to rest over his heart as she chuckled. “I hate to be cliche, but I think it’s always been here. A connection between you and me. A connection formed not only from our shared quirk, but our love. But… A simpler answer… It’s somewhere for you to rest.”
“Rest?” He echoed, feeling his shoulders slump, his body believing her even if his mind did not fully. “But… Why?”
Again she wore the softest of looks on her face. The look she had worn when he had sought comfort from her, when he had asked to be reassured that she had made the right choice without so many words. When everything had come crashing down around him and he had longed to hear her voice, this was the face he had imagined. He should have remembered her smiling.
He should have remembered her better.
“Nana… have I died?”
She shook her head, her hand moving to take his now. Her warm, strong hands that were now so small in his own. It was hard remembering how much he had outlived her. It was hard knowing how much he had changed while she forever stayed like this.
“No Toshinori. You’re not dead. Not yet.” Her voice was firm now. The no-nonsense tone of his teacher, his mentor, the most important person in his life. “That man. I’m sorry I didn’t defeat him when I told you to go, when I told you I’d keep you safe-”
“But you didn’t expect to.”
“No but still. The failings of a mentor will always weigh on me.” She murmured, rubbing her thumb over the taunt skin on his long fingers. “You had to fight him. Not once but twice, and look where you are now. Here with me. Caught in the limbo of our shared flame.”
Shared flame, he closed his eyes and sought out that soft flickering light within him. It was so faint, flickering like the yellow light around him. Like the pink light around her. They were connected weren’t they? Had always been connected. When he had sought her advice and thought of the perfect answer that would fit her thoughts, was this where that had come from? Or had her teachings just sunk so deeply into his skin that it was easy to remember her? “So if I’m not dead…”
“You’re not alive either.” She replied evenly. Her eyes shone with that drive, that unearthly light, as she reached up and cupped his cheek with her free hand. She drew his head down, pressing her forehead against his. She breathed in deeply, a smile teasing her lips, sad and sorrowful as much as it was happy. “You don’t get a choice though. He still needs you and I won’t let you abandon him as I abandoned you. You will be going back but… For now, rest, and catch up with me for a bit.”
They sat on that love seat, for how long he didn’t know. It should have been hours as he poured his heart out to her, as he spoke about life after she had died, as he cried and she cried and as they laughed together. She teased him about David, held him as he mourned his friendship with Nighteye, and how she lit up when he spoke about Midoriya. Or perhaps, she was just reflecting his light back at him. It should have been hours, he wanted it to be hours, to spend years with her again.
But he never got tired, he never felt the need to stop. He wanted her to know everything, he wanted to see every smile, every crease in her face. He never wanted her to leave him again. It felt like safety as she tucked herself against his side, resting her head on his chest as he droned on about his life as a teacher now, about his students, about--
Everything he never had the chance to tell her.
“Are you happy?” She asked as he finally ran out of things to say. Her head was heavy on his chest, her words striking like a hammer as she traced patterns of swirls across his arm, his hand. She looked up at him and he felt tears shimmering in his eyes as she stared, waiting for an answer. “Are you happy, Toshinori?”
“I… I don’t know.” Her eyes seemed to fill with a sorrow of their own at his answer, but he couldn’t lie to her. “I’ve been fighting so long… And I don’t resent the world for needing me, but I don’t know if I’ve been happy a day since-”
She cut across him, her hands moving to hold both sides of his face. “You can’t think like that. You can’t keep holding a candle in remembrance of me.” Nana’s lips were drawn into the saddest frown he had ever seen on her face. Once he would have given anything to kiss that sadness away, banish it with any means left to him. Now he only felt a longing to see her smile, but the desire to kiss anyone else was gone. His fingers tensed in his lap and she scooted closer. Her eyes reflected his own blue ones, his unshed tears echoed in her grit teeth and tense muscles. “You of all people… Deserve to be happy. Maybe now you’ll get the chance.” Her hands lowered from his face to rest above his heart, laid over each other as she seemed to close her eyes and let the slow beat of his heart echo between them. “Please, when you return, live for happiness. Don’t drown yourself in the past. Embrace what you feel.”
Licking his dry lips, Toshinori placed one of his hands over both of hers. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For… for my heart."
Her eyes widened a bit as she raised them to look at him, and then she laughed breathlessly. "For falling in love? Oh Toshinori. I wanted you to be happy. Haven’t you heard me? I want you to be happy. To seek after it and grab it with both hands. I’d never resent you for doing that. What silly ideas have you allowed to rot in your head?” She chuckled again and he felt a small smile pull at his own lips. “And he's-- He's very kind."
"He's amazing."
Her laugh was rich and warm. She leaned back a bit, reaching up to tousle his hair. "I know. I've seen him I've been watching him too. You've done amazing with him."
"I hope I've done enough."
"Toshinori, you're not done yet." She admonished, tone firm. “You might not be All Might anymore. But you’re still Toshinori Yagi. The young man I chose to be my successor. The one I saw so much goodness in it hurt to look directly at. And I love you, and he will love you too. Because you are amazing.” Pushing herself up from the love seat, she let her fingers drag across his until they were barely touching. Kisses of fingertips, seconds of bliss before she removed contact completely. “Go back Toshinori. Help him be the best hero he can be. And for my sake, please god let yourself be happy.” She murmured.
Then she was gone, and the love seat was gone, and he was gone. Back into that black emptiness. Back into the nothingness.
But when he opened his eyes, he stood in the center of Kamino Ward, his hand held high before he lowered it slowly and pointed at the cameras.
“You’re next.” He murmured softly, and he hoped with all his heart, that he would be enough to support Izuku.