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Asia fucked up and everyone knew it. In a group of touring drag queens, you don’t get to let your mistakes fly past you. They haunt you; eating you from the inside out from the embarrassment and lack of privacy. Word gets around in these corridors. No secret couple goes unquestioned; everyone could hear them through the thin wall of every hotel. No shadiness is left unchecked; everyone knew who said what. There was no room for secrets on tour because nothing came with privacy anymore. That’s where all of this really started, and that’s how Asia ended up finding herself at Kameron’s door every night. She never knocked, she just sat by the door and listened. In the dead of the night, no one was there to bother her, so she could sit there and wallow in her own little form of grieving. She missed Kameron; more than she could ever describe out loud. She missed the way the queen laughed at her stupid passing comments and the way she would blush everytime Asia stuck up for her. She missed being in her presence and letting the banter flow between the two of them. She missed being her friend. All she really wanted was a time machine so she could go back and fix everything; undo all the damage she had managed to make so quickly. Now all Kameron gave her was a block of her phone number and slide glances whenever they had to be on stage together. The tension was suffocating and it was all her fault.
It isn’t like she meant to say what she had said, either. It just slipped out of her in a rage of jealousy. She didn’t even believe what she said, the person she was that night in Vegas was not her in the slightest. Asia would have never told one of her best friends that she was only here as eye candy and that no one else actually liked her because she didn’t believe either of those statements to be true, but that night she did, and that was the beginning of the end. Everything that escalated from that was too bleak for the queen to ever recall clearly, but she remembered the tears and she remembered the broken glass; she even remembered the flying heel that barely missed her face. She thought about it every night while she waited by her ex-friends room. She always managed to figure out what room the Nashville native stayed in just so she could sit here. It was the only thing that ever made her feel better. It was the closest she would ever get to her friend again, and she was taking what she could get. Some nights she wished that Kameron would open the door and finally see how sorry she actually was; see that she missed her more than anything else in this world. Maybe she could finally see that all that night was just a mistake fueled by Asia's own jealousies. Other nights she hopes that Kameron wouldn’t. Those nights were more often the ones she cried, but others were just wishes that she wouldn’t see her like this; broken and grieving their relationship in a way most would find creepy. She didn’t know what she wanted by sitting by the door, but she did know that she wanted her friend back, even if she knew she couldn’t have her.
It didn’t help that everyone was now giving her the cold shoulder as well. Even Monet wouldn’t give her much of her time anymore. It was isolating to feel so outcast from the people who once said they were your family. It didn’t feel like a family anymore; it felt like a mafia, and Asia was the one sent to swim with the fishes. She didn’t realize how quickly things could change in one night. Everyone was so quick to defend Kameron and comfort her, and it wasn’t like that isn’t what they should have done because what Asia did was indeed quite harsh, but no one ever stopped to ask her why she did what she did or try to empathize with her side of the story. All they saw in her now was a fake bitch who pretends to be nice until she can find a way to attack you, and that wasn’t how Asia thought of herself at all. She wanted to reconcile and delete the damage done, but no one was listening. It hurt that everyone thought so poorly of her over one mistake, but there was little to fix it.
One of her safe havens happened to be her phone, well, the people on the other side of it. The queens that weren't on the tour with her were a lot more lenient with the event and had actually listened to her side of the story. They were the only family she felt she had left in the drag community outside her fans who were completely oblivious. Her, Blair, and Vixen had grown closer since all of this mess occured. They were the only two people she felt she could talk to, especially Vixen. Vixen felt a lot of empathy toward Asia after being deemed villain of the season. She knew what it was like to feel like the world was against you, and to Asia, these girls were her world. Blair and Vixen since then have been trying to lift her spirits, but it was harder when you couldn't be there in person. The two queens couldn't just go to Asia's hotel room when she would turn her phone off to wallow in her own pain again or when she would leave her phone in her room when she left at night to sit by Kameron's door. They couldn't talk her out of doing stupid things because she could always just say she wouldn't and then proceed to do it. It was hard, but they tried their best anyway. After all, they both knew Asia felt like she was at the end of her rope, and one bad move could send her spiraling down into an inescapable pit of despair.
"Are you going to go to her room again or are we gonna facetime like you promised we could tonight?" Blair whined on the other side of the phone while Asia had her phone pressed up to her ear by her shoulder. Her hands were busy grabbing her food from the hotel microwave. It was nearly 5am here in Chicago, but Blair was wide awake somewhere in Britain. Asia got this question from the younger queen quite often, and they both pretty much knew the answer by now, but it was nearing her friend's birthday and she didn't want to say happy birthday with a missed call and her own sadness. It wasn't fair after all Blair had done for her over the past month or so.
“I’ll call you, I promise!” She exclaimed, even if deep down all she wanted to do was have another one of her nightly pity parties. She could hear Blair make an excited noise on the other side of the phone, which made her mood brighten slightly, but there was still anxiety hanging over her head as she paced across her hotel room. Tonight was their first night in Chicago, and all the queens were being called down to rehearsal like they were when they got to every city. Asia grew to know, but never quite became accustomed to the way everyone would treat her at rehearsal. Everytime she went, it felt like all eyes fell on her. Every error she made was noticed and she couldn’t help but hear the side chatter that echoed throughout the room. It struck her with anxiety every time she thought about it, and it only got worse when she actually had to go. There was little she could do to calm her nerves, though. If she numbed the feeling with alcohol, she’d make more of a fool of herself by being drunk, and there was no way she was risking a drug addiction over some anxiety. So she just went, did what she had to do, then usually went back to the hotel to cry for a while. She seemed to do that a lot lately, and she was honestly shocked that her eyes hadn’t run out of tears yet.
“I can hear you overthinking, girl.” Blair said, abruptly snapping Asia out of her own thoughts. Asia faked a small laugh and nodded to herself. When did Blair get to know her so well?
“I have rehearsals today, that's all…” Asia sighed, taking a mouthful of ramen into her mouth to try and distract herself. She could hear her friend release a sigh on the other end. Both of them knew fine well that Asia on rehearsal days was not pretty anymore. It drained all of her energy to have to pretend that nothing was wrong and then have to do a show putting that same act on. She felt bad knowing Blair had to deal with her being like that tonight.
“Do you want me to call you after rehearsal?” Blair offered, audibly taking a sip from her coffee on the other line. Asia smiles at her kindness and begins to contemplate the offer. On one hand, she was used to her schedule for these days, and talking to Blair while being sweaty and having the risk of other queens hearing them talk was a little daunting. She had little doubt that one of the queens would try and convince Blair that Asia was something she wasn’t. But on the other hand, she really needed her on days like this, and maybe it would be more therapeutic than anything else.
“We’re gonna talk on the phone 3 times today?” Asia questioned with a small smile growing on her face. Well, more of a ghost of one. Her face never really let her do an actual smile lately unless she was on stage. It was more of a twitch at the corner of her mouth, but she was taking any moment she could that she wasn’t miserable, when she talked to Blair, she wasn’t miserable. It was moments like this that she really valued her friendships. She didn’t have to pretend to be someone else around Blair or Vixen nor did she have to convince them to stay. They actually cared about her, and she felt her heart warm in gratefulness.
“Yeah why not? It’s not you’ll ever get tired of hearing my angelic voice.” Blair jokes, continuing to belt out an operatic note. Asia rolls her eyes at her through the phone and then takes another bite of her noodles. She glances over out the window, seeing the city slowly beginning to wake up. Asia was usually up around till 4:30am before she would head back to her hotel to talk to Blair or Vixen for about an hour before she would actually head to bed at around 5:30am. It did leave her a bit tired by the time 10am rolled around and she actually had to wake up, but Asia was a man of habit. Once she started this schedule, she found it hard to escape said problematic sleep schedule. She barely minded by the time night came if she was being completely honest. By the time 2:30am hit, and she had found her way to the room she sat by every night, everything kinda just disappeared. All that existed in the world at the time was the sound of her own thoughts and whatever noises came from Kameron’s room that night. She thought maybe she would stop once her old friend began bringing trade back because she would probably boil at the sound of the bed creaking.
“I’m tired of it right now, bitch.” Asia huffed playfully. Blair feigned offense but eventually just laughed it off. The two sat in silence before Asia made up her mind with a sure nod. “But yes, we can call after rehearsal. What time will it be by then for you?” Asia asked, finishing the last of her food and throwing the packaging away.
“Hold on let me look at my world clock-” The queen started before Asia heard clicking of acrylics on the other side of the phone. “It’ll be 9pm.” Blair said nonchalantly, but had Asia gagged.
“Girl by the time I call you tonight it’ll be 2am!” Asia half exclaimed, not wanting to wake up the person in the next room over. She could practically hear Blair roll her eyes over the phone.
“It’s gonna be right after my show, it’s the perfect time!” Blair explained as if scheduling a phone call for 2 in the morning was a thing people did all the time. Asia let out another huff. That was right before the show started, she couldn’t call then, no way!
“Can we at least set it back like an hour and a half?” Asia suggested, causing a gasp to escape Blair’s lips. Asia furrowed her eyebrows and gave her phone a funny look even if her friend couldn’t see it. Silence hangs over the other end for a few moments before Asia decides to say something. “What? Did I say something wrong?”
“You do realize I will be in drag, like, doing the whole show at that time right?” Blair asked as if she was supposed to know when the queen’s shows started and ended. Hell, she just learned that they ended at 2am two sentences ago! Asia sighs, trying to think.
“Well I guess we are making up for lost time after my rehearsal today.” She shrugged, not really seeing how they would be able to fit into each other’s schedules any later or earlier than that. The two back and forth bicker on the time until they both ultimately agree to save it for 3 days from now when they both had off and work was out of sight. Both of them said their goodbyes after that before Asia hopped into bed and tried to sleep.
___
The whole atmosphere of the stage felt off today; more than usual at least. People around her were whispering, but this time no one not a single mouth spoke of her. All the chatter that filled the halls and dressing rooms were of some queen that was joining the cast tonight. She heard varying guesses as to who it would be but ultimately the only queens who knew where the ones that would be announcing her tonight; Yvie and Aquaria. And knowing their love for surprises, everyone knew they wouldn’t let the cat out of the bag. The whole situation had Asia on edge as she did her make up in one of the smaller, emptier dressing rooms. On one hand, this could be a great opportunity for Asia to regain some sort of credibility with one of the queens on tour. It was a fresh face who wasn’t there to see the turmoil, therefore might be kind to Asia. She thought this was her chance to have a friend again while on tour. But on the other hand, she could fully see the rest of the queens warning this mystery and telling her to stay away from Asia. That was more likely in Asia’s mind. But she knew she would try her hardest not to be hated by this new queen, even if her attempt fails, because she honestly missed the feeling of real life comfort; the kind Kameron gave her all the time before all of this happened.
Asia’s phone buzzed twice in a row, glowing with texts from Vixen. She didn’t pick up her phone just yet because her hands were covered in powder and wet eyelash glue, but it wasn’t like she had to before the same queen came barreling into her quiet, mostly empty dressing room. Asia jumped before turning around to see her friend throwing her suitcase onto the couch and looking around to see that the room was empty besides herself and Asia. Asia narrows her eyes in disbelief at seeing her friend standing in front of her, but after a moment of thought, it all made sense. They were in Chicago, what other queen would be joining the cast tonight besides Vixen.
“Bitch don’t look shocked, I warned you I was coming! Didn’t you see my texts?” Vixen said before wiping a smile on her face and rushing over to give her friend a tight hug. Asia reciprocated happily; she hadn’t been hugged in a month, and the affection felt good to have back. Asia shook her head while it rested on Vixen’s shoulders and then pulled away to set down the beauty blender that was in her hand.
“I’ve been doing my makeup, what makes you think I’ve been looking at my phone?” The darker queen questioned, but Vixen just scoffs, unzipping one of her bags to fish out her makeup supplies.
“Because over the last month, you’ve been fucking glued to that thing!” Vixen laughed, pulling her large red box of makeup out of her suitcase and walking over to the extra station beside Asia. “And we all know why…” She continued, causing the small smile on Asia’s face to fade.
“Yeah let's not talk about that.” Asia stated, trying to get the subject to change. Vixen saw the way her emotions changed, and decided to not bring up the topic for the time being. She wanted to talk about it, and Asia knew it. Something to do with "the only way to get over things is to talk them through" but the darker queen thought that sort of rhetoric was bullshit , but maybe that was just because it hurt to remember what happened.
"So!" Asia started, putting on faux enthusiasm and turning to her friend who had just started opening her seemingly brand new bottle of foundation. "Why are you here?" Even if she could have guessed that Vixen was the new queen from a mile away, it made good conversation that wasn't about the event that's been plaguing her mind.
"I'm joining the cast cause it looks like you really need me, honey." Vixen stated, ending with a chuckle as she let mocha brown foundation roll down her cheeks and forehead. Asia scoffed, turning back to her work station and continuing to pack setting powder on her face like she was doing before the interruption.
"You did not join the tour just so you can see me ride the struggle bus in real life! Why are you actually here?"
"I just said why I'm here." Vixen said so nonchalantly that Asia was now aware of how serious she was actually being. She actually joined the tour just to be with her, and it made her heart sink with both guilt and gratitude. She didn't want to make Vixen drop everything just to make sure she's okay, but she's thankful she decided too because at this point, she needs that more than anything. "I'm also here to help you right a wrong." She added almost so casually that Asia nearly missed it. Unluckily, she didn't miss it, and she could already feel anxiety rise and bubble in her chest.
"Oh my God, please don't tell–" Asia is cut off by one of her friend's fingers landing on her lip, shushing her and her upcoming rambling session.
"Don't worry about me. I've got just about everything covered. I'll tell you the plan later, just make sure you get a key to Kameron's room before the show ends, okay?" Her voice was low and screamed at her to listen with obedience. Instinctually, Asia nods, silently agreeing to whatever plan Vixen had pulled out of her ass.
———
Asia sneaks around the corner just after her set on stage was finished. Vixen had tracked down what dressing room Kameron was in tonight and given her the number. It was one of the more populated ones in the building, and she was afraid she would run into another queen, but Vixen assured her that it would be empty by the time she got here. So she opens the door ever so slightly to get a view inside the room. It actually was empty. No rustling, no tapping of makeup brushes. It was completely silent and vacant. She takes a deep breath before fully opening the door and rushing around to find Kameron's things. It was a hard task seeing as all the queens that resided in here were as messy as possible. She looked high and low for something that distinctly belonged to the Tennessee queen. Eventually, she stumbles over a bag, knocking everything including two room keys out of the bag. Asia knew it was Kameron's based on the items that fell out. A few pieces of clothing from her runways and a few personal items Asia knew she always kept on her. She nods in victory and picks up one of the keys before running off. She didn't bother picking any of the contents of the bag because any more time in there could mean getting caught, and she was trying to avoid that at all costs.
As she struts down the hallway, she stuffs the key into her bra and pulls out her phone. She decides to shoot Vixen a text that she had the key and to finally tell her how this plan was going to go. Vixen doesn't respond for a few minutes and Asia only gets a message back once she opens their dressing room door but doesn't open it yet. Vixen sat on the couch sweaty and nearly gasping for air. She'd just gotten off stage and looked more worn out than Asia had ever seen her. "Are you good?" Asia questioned as she walked over to her vanity to see if her makeup needed touching up. Vixen nodded before adjusting her tired body to lay down on the couch.
"I'm okay. I just need a few minutes to not be out of breath." The other queen let out a breathy laugh. Asia responded with a small chuckle as she turned on her phone to see the message. It was barely anything in relation to the actual plan. It just said "get back to the dressing room, bitch" with a devil emoji to send it off. She didn't mind the response all that much having seen how exhausted Vixen looked laying on the couch. She obviously needed her time to rest.
"I'll tell you the plan in like five minutes, just give me a second." Vixen stated as if reading Asia's mind. Asia nodded as she shuffled over to the couch in her now bare feet, sitting beside the tired drag queen. They both sat there in silence for a few minutes before Vixen eventually sat up and turned her attention to the older queen. Asia looked at her expectantly, anxious for the news she waited so patiently for.
"Okay so here's the plan…" She started, already bringing Asia to the edge of her seat. "I am going to take Kameron out to a bar or something after the show's over. In that time you are going to take that key right to her hotel room. Look around for stuff, steal something if you wanna I really don't care. But just know I know a lot of stuff about that girl, more than I can tell you right now, and I assure you that you will find something you'll like in there." Vixen explained, the last part of her explanation sticking in Asia's head like a fly on jelly. The statement repeated in her head and drowned out her thoughts, replacing everything with theories on what Vixen was on about. What was in Kameron's room and why would she want to know about it?
"Got it?" Vixen questioned, seeing the emotions on Asia's face change once again. Asia shook herself from her thoughts and gave her friend another ghost smile.
"Yeah, but uhm, what are you gonna do while out? Just get her drunk?" Asia asked, not really seeing how Vixen was doing work in this scenario like she said she would earlier. Her friend scoffed and shook her head.
"No! I told you, I'm here to make things right between the two of you. I'm going to try and make her see that you aren't the bad guy." She said with a sincere smile and a supportive hand landing on Asia's sweat glistened shoulder. Asia nods in agreement to the plan once again and she felt almost excited. She finally felt that she was getting the chance to make everything better thanks to Vixen being here.
"Thank you." Asia said almost in a whisper. She could feel more tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to drop at any moment. Her emotions suddenly felt overwhelming, a feeling she was used to by now, but not used to showing in front of others. Vixen pulls her friend into a tight hug and lets her cry out all her joy, sadness, and guilt that she knew had been floating around the entire conversation. They both sat there linked to each other's bodies until Asia had calmed down, by then, it was already time for the finale. The two get up and touch up each other's makeup before heading out the door, their arms linked together as they chatted a little more happily this time around. They get a few weird stares from some other queens, but for the first time in a while, Asia couldn't be bothered to care that eyes were on her. She knew that Vixen wouldn't leave her no matter what the other queens tried to convince her of, so it didn't matter if they paraded around their friendship.
The two make it to the backstage area, watching the last performance before they all came out to take bows and such. They had to quiet down so the crowd wouldn't hear them talking over the sound of the music, so all of the queens stood back stage in near silence. Kameron stood behind Vixen and Asia, looking down at the floor while the two friends whispered jokes to each other. Asia could see the auburn hair that covered her face as she twiddled her fingers. Asia hadn’t stood so close to Kameron in so long, the feeling almost felt brand new. The scent of cigarettes masked poorly by a floral perfume she assumed was provided by Scarlet filled her nose and it was like walking off a plane and being greeted with a brand new country. It all felt new to her, even if it was all technically the same.
“Hey, Kam!” Vixen turned around, greeting the queen with a smile that looked genuine on the outside, but Asia knew was purely forced. Kameron snaps her head up, her eyes falling on Asia before they turn to Vixen. She returned the smile with a nod for Vixen to continue speaking. “Have you ever been to any of the restaurants around here?” Vixen asked and Kameron shook her head, seemingly trying her best not to speak around Asia. It made Asia’s face feel hot to think Kameron didn’t even want Asia to hear her voice anymore, especially since that was one of the things she missed most about her.
“Well there is a place like 3 blocks from here that I’d love to show you. Wanna go tonight after the show? I promise I’ll let you get out of drag first.” Vixen said in her sweetest voice, holding out a pinkie to show that she was being sincere. Asia just turns around and looks back at the stage as she didn’t want her gaze on the queen to affect her answer. She just hoped that Kameron decided to link her pinkie with Vixen’s.
———
Asia clutched her phone tightly in her hand as well as the key to the room. She was still sweaty from the show, and it wasn’t helped by all the anxiety that was leaking from her pores now. She was terrified of getting caught, especially since it wasn’t that late into the night. It was only around 1am, an hour and a half earlier than Asia knew was safe to be here. Her co-stars could at any moment walk down this hallway and know exactly what she was doing. In her mind, every little noise was a person, ready and willing to bust her in her crimes; jumping at every little creak on the floor and gust of wind. By the time she reached the door number the key read, she looked around the narrow hallway, making sure no one would see her, and then swiping the key.
The room was cool and dry. Even having been here just a day, it already smelled like Kameron. It stunk of cigarettes, cologne, and mexican food. This smell, unlike the one from earlier, felt a lot more welcoming to Asia. This was the Kameron she knew. She shakes her head and walks fully inside, pushing her thoughts to the side so she could focus on what Vixen told her to do. She first begins her search in the bags by the door, carefully plucking clothes and shoes away to find anything that could possibly be of use to her. Alas, there was nothing for her in there, just drag. She neatly places everything back in the bags and moves on to the bedside drawers. Still, she found nothing. Letting out a heavy sigh, she moves on to the desk that sat beside the TV. The remote to said TV sat on a stack of envelopes. Finally something that intrigued Asia. She pushes the remote off the envelopes, looking at the top one almost in shock. It was a letter and it was addressed to her. Everything on the envelope was handwritten sloppily in blue ink, with a small smiley face drawn next to her name. Picking up the rest of the letters, he found all of them had that pattern, just with different ink. She wanted to see what was inside, but also knew that Kameron would most definitely notice that one of her letters had been opened. She went back and forth in her head about what to do before ultimately deciding to take one of them, making sure to leave the top one where it was so there wasn’t any immediate suspicion. ‘I can read this and then bring it back tomorrow in a brand new envelope, it’ll be fine!’ She thinks to herself, internally trying to figure out how she was going to manage to forage the other queen’s handwriting. As she wondered, she heard Kameron's voice coming from the other side of the door. Asia’s eyes go wide as she frantically looks around the room to find somewhere to hide. As she hears a hand land on the doorknob, she makes her final decision and rushes into the closet.
She shuts the door at the same time Kameron enters. The sliding panels of the closet gave Asia a clear enough view of her former friend as the de-dragged queen threw herself onto the queen sized bed. Her shirt landed after her, exposing her torso and hem of her boxers. Asia gulped at the sight, suddenly remembering exactly why she had initially realized her crush on her old friend. She listened as Kameron sighed, staring up at the ceiling and mumbling something incoherent to herself before pushing herself up into a sitting position and pulling her phone out of her pocket The queen sat there for a few minutes while Asia just watched, feeling creepy about doing it the entire time. She was stuck in this closet for God knows how long and all she had to do was watch, even if the sight made her feel queasy, She still loved Kameron, that was a fact, but she still felt so lightheaded around her that Asia wanted to move farther and farther away. Her own attraction to Kameron made her feel ill, and having nowhere to go now only made her feel like she was going to fall over at any moment. Now that she's thinking about it, it's probably that mixed with the fact that she hasn't eaten since lunch. No matter how much her body swayed her to, she kept still, hoping that Kameron would go to bed soon and she could leave once she heard her snoring.
That wasn't the case.
Kameron actually stays up quite late as she's learned. Even though Asia had lost track of time, she felt the few minutes in the closet turn into an hour, having nothing to do but watch the queen on the outside walk around in her boxers. The only good thing was that she managed to silently maneuver herself into a sitting position while Kameron was in the bathroom. At least now her feet weren't killing her. The thing that was killing her was the letter in her hand. It almost teased her to open it with the way the hotel light shone onto it. It looked tempting to open but she knew that would only make a suspicious amount of noise for a closet that shouldn't be making sound in the first place.
A quiet huff sounds from the other side of the door, making Asia's eyes fall onto Kameron's face. She watches as Kameron walks over to the desk she had no choice but to leave messy and silently prays that she wouldn't notice that things were moved. But Kameron noticed, and Asia lost a little more faith in God. "What the hell?" Asia heard the southerner ask herself, her accent seemingly coming out clearer older the night it got. "Who left my stuff like this?" The queen asked, sure in herself that she hadn't left it like that by accident. Asia gulps from the other side of the closet door nervously. Instinctually, she leans her head back on the wall to relax herself a bit, but freezes when it makes a thud. Her eyes widened the instant the sound hit her ears and she could feel her whole body tense. She was fucked, and there was no getting out of this one. How was she supposed to even explain why she was here without sounding like an insane creep?
Kameron's head snaps in the direction of the thud, making Asia's insides quiver in fear, but her brain not letting it vibrate to the outside to avoid any extra noise. Slowly, she approaches the door, eventually opening it to reveal Asia, sitting with her knees scrunched into her chest and a letter sitting by her foot. They stare at each other for a moment, the awkward silence making Aisa fill the space with a shy wave and a broken smile. She wasn't really sure what to do from here, because she was sure before that if she were caught, Kameron would toss her out the window WWE style, but she didn't, she just looked down at her with some stupidly cute confused look on her face. Asia would probably gush at how cute the queen standing above her currently looked if 1) Kameron didn't hate her guts 2) she wasn't hiding in her closet or 3) actively being caught after breaking and entering into her hotel room which landed her in this closet in the first place. If those three factors weren't at play, she knew Kameron would be giggling at all the heartfelt little compliments Asia would be flinging at her right now.
"What are you doing here?" Kam asked, her eyes nearly popping out of her head and her jaw completely slack. Asia cleared her throat and adjusted her position against the wall to one that can be more described as an upright fetal position. She shrugs, not really being able to come up with a reasonably sane answer. The silence stood for another moment before Kameron reached down and grabbed the letter that sat by Asia's foot, her expression changing from confused to mortified. Asia trucks her head into her knees, not wanting to see her get mad at her before hearing a huff from above her.
"Did you read this?" Kameron asked, her Adam's apple bouncing as she swallowed dryly. Her voice was almost monotonous besides the twinge of terror which Asia felt sick at the knowledge she caused Kameron to feel that way. She managed to hurt Kameron once again, and this time for the low price of a high heel not going through the window. She couldn't even look at her; her mind told her that the second she moved her head her heart would explode in her chest and she would then be the dead body in Kameron's closet.
"Please don't hurt me." Asia managed to choke out, but the words were muffled by the fabric covering her mouth. Kameron sighs, placing both her hands on each of Asia's arms, pulling the queen to stand up in front of her. Asia still doesn't look at her even with their faces now so close together, so Kameron grabs her by the chin and pulls her face up so her eyes sank right into her. The darker queen's breath hitches at the sight of a dishevelled, casual Kameron standing so close to her. If she felt sick before, she was definitely dying now. The silence between them was quickly filled with the sound of Kameron's voice, which came out in almost a whisper. "Does it look like I'm going to hurt you?" She said before backing away and walking back over to the stack of letters. She neatly places the missing letter back into its place and then turns back over to Asia with a coy smile. "But you know what I am going to do?" Asia shakes her head. "I'm going to give you 5 seconds to explain why you were in my fucking closet." She flashes her teeth for a brief moment before dropping the smile completely, leaning her body back onto the desk.
Asia pops her tongue and takes a moment to gather her thoughts. "Well… Someone was helping me tonight with something and this was my end of the deal." Asia stated, trying to expose any more details than needed. Kameron gives her another complexed look and juts her jaw as she tries to decipher what Asia just admitted. Maybe even thinking about if she believes her or not.
"That doesn't really explain why you're here or how you even got here–"
"I'm getting to that!" Asia interrupts, sitting herself on her bed the way a fussy toddler would sit. Her arms crossed and her eyebrows knitted down, her mouth even sitting in a pout. Kameron gives her an amused look that she doesn't see from her angle but wipes it off before deciding to sit beside her. "Listen, I have really missed you." She starts, her voice a little shaky. "And ever since y'know what happened, I have been fucking heartbroken, so I got some help in trying to make things better…"
"How does breaking into my hotel room work into that story?"
"I don't ask me, ask Vixen. I was just playing along." Asia sighed, not really realizing what she said until it already long escaped her lips. Kameron let's out an 'oh' and an understanding nod, now understanding why Vixen had bothered taking her out tonight. "Don't tell her I told you that." Asia spoke up worriedly, looking to Kameron with her anxiety present on her face. The other queen sighs and leans back onto her hands, contemplating what to say next.
"Why not? It's not even gonna half of the pain you cause me." Kameron shrugged, wrinkling her nose as she thought about the night again. Asia huffs loudly, pushing her hands into her face and holding back any scream that she desperately wanted to release.
"Because you felt bad for one night and now I have to go through my entire career struggling for my own stupid mistake, Kameron!" She exploded off the bed and turned her body to face the man on the bed. She holds out a shaky finger to her and tense her face in an attempt to hold back tears. "Because I am the one who said something stupid and that resulted in me losing all my friends and all the respect anyone on this tour ever had for me. You got to play the fucking victim while I had almost every person torn from my life because I said the wrong thing when I was angry." She rambled, tears forcing their way down her cheeks the more she spoke. But she didn't give Kameron any room to respond yet, she didn't want to hear it yet because she wasn't done. She hasn't run out of things she's been letting fester in her mind for a month, and now that she has the opportunity to let all those things out, she doesn't plan on hesitating. "I lost everything, but what hurts the most is that I don't even want all those things back. After all this, still to this day all I want is you! And I hate that! I hate that I can nearly ruin my own career and all I regret about it is losing you!" Asia exclaimed, basically on the verge of hysterics by now. She hadn't really paid attention to how Kameron was taking everything she was saying until now. She saw how her jaw was agape and her arms trembled under her weight. She looked like a scared puppy, but she couldn't read any distinct emotion from that description. For all she knew, Kameron was fuming and would throw her out the room any second now despite looking frightful.
The room fell silent for a minute before Asia just stomped her foot down and began to head for the door. She wasn't going to wait around in the silence when she already said her peace. Before she could even make it past the bed frame, an arm pulled her back, keeping her in her spot. Kameron's nails dug into her skin, surely leaving imprints. Asia tried to pull her hand away but it didn't budge, so she just relaxed and turned fully to look at her one more time. "Then why did you say it?" She asked, sounding more sad than angry or smug this time. She listens as he sniffles, looking down at the queen who didn't look back up at her but instead had her eyes fixed on the floor. It was a quick flip in their roles that Asia barely understood. Kameron suddenly was the one hurting now, which Asia just was a minute ago.
"I said it because I was hurt, alright? I was hurt that you didn't want me and that I was your second choice in every aspect of life when you were always my first. I was tired of seeing myself be beneath you in your mind."
"I would never think of you that way!" Kameron looked up at her, revealing the tears she'd now shed.
"Well you surely fuckin' acted like it." Asia choked on a new wave of tears. "You never loved me the way I love you, and I couldn't accept that. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Are we done now?" Asia asked, this time successfully pulling her arm away.
"Please don't go." Kameron cried out, pushing himself off the bed, inevitably falling right into Asia, wrapping her arms around the slightly taller queen. Asia freezes still for a moment before returning the favor, snaking her arms around Kameron’s waist and resting her head in the crook of her neck. Her tears damped the skin, making it smell salty. They stay still for much longer than either would typically consider necessary, but in this moment, it felt as if the passage of time had stopped all together, so there was no point dwelling on how long it went on. They felt comfortable for the first time that night, it was a good point to start savoring. “I’ve missed you so much.” Asia could feel a tear sink into her cotton t-shirt. The words were so simple, yet tugged at her heart so hard she felt it would fall right out of its cavity. “I missed you so fucking much.” She repeated, her grip on Asia tightening uncomfortably, but Asia didn't attempt to stop her in the slightest, she just appreciated that her hands were on her body and that she was in her presence without feeling like a burden.
“Why shouldn’t I leave?” Asia asked, less as a question, more as a test; almost in a ‘how much do you really miss me’ type of way. She had a feeling she knew the answer by now, but wanted clarification before she did anything else.
“Because I love you, you fucking idiot.” Kameron mumbled while grabbing Asia's face and plunging her lips into hers. Asia sunk into it on contact, her hands traveling up the other queen’s waist until they found their way to her face, cupping her cheeks. The kiss wasn’t aggressive or hurried; instead it was slow and meticulous. Almost as if both of them wanted to study each crevice and corner and become experts. Their bodies found their way together as Asia led Kameron backwards onto the bed where they both ended up landing. Asia could feel the heat rising in Kameron’s face and her lips grow more needy, but despite all of that she forced herself to pull away. She didn’t want this to turn into something it shouldn’t, not tonight at least. She rested her forehead onto Kameron’s, staring deeply into glassy brown eyes and for the first time being able to admire them up close.
“That’s a pretty good reason to stay if I do say so myself.” Asia teased digging her nails into Kameron’s sides, eliciting giggles to fall from between both their teeth. The tickling match lasted no more than a minute, but that minute was filled with uncontrollable laughter, empty threats, and a lot of squirming. Kameron only manages to get the queen to stop when she pins her hands above her head. The sudden carelessness that filled the air incited a feeling of warmth in Kameron’s chest. She could see that Asia had no intention of leaving from the spot she was being held in. She was content there under Kameron’s body weight. She takes the opportunity to lean down and steal another kiss. The kiss didn’t last long before the laughter erupted again simply from the atmosphere that surrounded them. It was far too late at night for them to be this loud, but neither could help it, and quite frankly, neither cared either.
“If you put your hands on my waist again, I’ll give you a reason to leave this time.” Kameron threatened, still coming down from her fit of laughter. Asia smirked cockily at her and dramatically placed her hands right onto her hips, rubbing her hands up and down gently. She watched as Kameron relaxed under the touch, but was trying to put on an annoyed front.
“Does this offend you, ma’am?” Asia inquired, raising a knowing eyebrow at her. Kameron shook her head, mumbling some sort of insult under her breath that Asia couldn’t make out before tossing herself forward to lay down onto her chest. Her face nuzzled comfortably into her neck, greeting it with a grazing kiss. Asia adjusts herself under the new weight that is laid on her chest, keeping her hands at the same place on her waist. Kameron’s hands find their way under Asia’s ribcage, where they sat even long after they’d gone numb from the pressure. The silence that now replaced the hysterics allowed Asia to think. She dissected everything that happened tonight that led her to this point and suddenly she is reminded of an unresolved question of the night. ‘What were those letters?’
“Hey, Kam?” Asia asked, poking lightly into her side to grab her attention. Kameron responds with a ‘hm?’ that vibrated through Asia’s skin. She adjusts her head to face the desk, which was the only thing that still had light reflecting off it from the lamp Kameron never turned off. She removes one of her hands from Kameron’s waist, which incited a small whine in disapproval to come from the queen. She pointed to the desk and then looked down to Kameron. ‘What are those letters?” She asked. Kameron barely reacts at first, but eventually sits up and lazily walks over to the desk picking one of them up and heading back to the bed, sitting beside Asia.
“They’re letters I wrote to you after out, uh, fight. It's basically just me complaining for about a page every night. Y’know, just a way to let out my frustrations over the fact that I thought that you hated me.” She explained casually, handing the envelope to Asia. She had absolutely no shame in the topic as it seemed, which Asia definitely couldn’t say the same about her special coping mechanism. She internally promised herself to never mention how she coped with losing Kameron to Kameron. It was embarrassing to even think about, and a lot weirder than whatever Kameron wrote about her. She takes the letter between her fingers and opens it as Kameron studied her face. She reads down the sloppily written lines that half consisted of petty insults and the other half of unintentional admiration toward Asia. It made her feel quite flattered despite the fact that some lines blatantly spoke about how much she hated her. She knew all too well that was just the anger of the situation talking. Her heart filled warmly, until she reached the end, where her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach.
“I can hear her outside right now, maybe this time she’ll have the balls to knock.” And at that line the letter ends. She gulps, setting the letter down By her side and turning an embarrassed eye to Kameron, who looked quite tired.
“You knew I stayed outside?” She asked, covering her face to hide from any face Kameron would pull at her. She heard Kameron before she felt her arms being tugged away from her face. She looks down at Asia with a mixture of admiration and sleepiness filling her eyes. A smile crept onto the queen’s face as she looked down at her, taking in all her emotions as her own. She could feel Asia’s embarrassment as well as her love and her relief.
“Of course I did, why do you think I’m always dead tired in the morning looking at everyone like I’m about to kill them. It’s ‘cause I stay up all night waiting for you to fuckin’ knock you weirdo!” Kameron admits, making a smile grow on Asia’s face. It had been so long since she had felt that tug on the corner of her mouth she had almost forgotten how to do it, but here she was smiling; her full set of pearl white teeth on display for the first time in far too long.
“Okay, fair enough.” Asia stated simply before pulling Kameron down onto her chest and planting a kiss on top of her forehead. Kameron chuckles and relaxes into her arms, feeling her eyes grow more and more heavy. Asia watches as she struggles to stay away and decides to temporarily push her off so she could get comfy under the sheets. As Kameron manuveres herself under the covers, Asia gets off the bed and pulls the spare key out of her pocket, leaving it on the bedside table as she heads for the door, not wanting to overstay her sort-of welcome any longer.
“Where are you going?” The sleepy queen whines, lazily reaching a hand out to invite Asia to stay. She turns away from the door, examining her before happily sighing, walking back over to the bed, switching off the lamp on the desk on her way over. She crouches down beside Kameron, looking right into her eyes which couldn’t bother to stay more than 2 centimeters open.
“I thought you were going to sleep.” Asia said quite matter-of-factly, getting a groan in response.
“I don’t think I could go one more night waiting for you to get in this bed with me. Lay down right now!” Kameron said by way of a mini temper tantrum. With that Asia laughed and stripped off her jeans, leaving her in just her t-shirt and briefs when she climbed into bed beside Kameron. There was no longer any sort of tension. No yelling, no laughter, none of that filled the room anymore. It was just the both of them, locked into each other’s embrace as they both quickly fell into sweet dreams