Chapter Text
Yes, he's gay. Surprise!
When he told Renjun this, his best friend made it his mission to throw a party, an idea Donghyuck immediately shot down the moment Renjun started jumping up and down and screaming like a kid who has just been given candy. The enthusiasm was appreciated but the unsolicited outing was not. Donghyuck didn't mind if Renjun did it while they were in a more private setting, but they were in the middle of campus when he spontaneously decided to get all excited. What's worse was they were sitting on a bench where half of the student population hanged out during break time. He'd rather keep this little part of him under wraps for a little while.
The big reveal was two weeks ago and for the past days, the boys, Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno have been trying to get him to throw a party or just simply celebrate. And again, Donghyuck did not want his coming out to be a big deal. Besides, he was still pretty much in the closet. Sure, his parents know and were pretty chill with it, his younger siblings were fine about it, and now his best boys were informed too, and that to him was enough. The world didn't need to know about him and his preference when it comes to lovers. Right now, this was fine.
Yet, the boys wouldn't say no to a celebration, because in Huang Renjun's words, "More women for us! And I guess men for you! Let's get you laid!" Then with his cheeks red and unfocused pupils, he'd tumble down the stairs, half-drunk, even though it was only pre-game.
So, when one of their friends announced that they were throwing a party, they decided to drag Donghyuck along.
Hwang Hyunjin and his twin sister Hyeji were notorious for their parties. It was a Friday, the last of the month, and like always, the Hwang siblings' two-story family home was loaded with half-drunk, horny, stoned, and sweaty teenagers. The typical atmosphere of a high school party. It was not Donghyuck's favorite place to be, but as long as his friends were there, it can be a little bit bearable. Also, watching Renjun get shitfaced drunk will always be the highlight of his night.
The music boomed in every corner of the party. It bounced off the walls causing a ripple inside of Donghyuck's ears. He was used to feeling the bass rumble against the floorboards or how the smell of smoke and alcohol mingled in the purple and blue-hued room. Beside him, Jeno was busy scrolling through his phone with his bottle of beer untouched. It has been an hour since they came. By now, Jeno would have disappeared in the bathroom with a roll in his hand. Sometimes, he'd drag the other boys with him, some other time, it would just be him and Jaemin. Donghyuck has always wondered what the two of his friends did when they leave—do they smoke a joint or does Jeno help Jaemin with his pursuit of wooing another woman? Who knows? Those two have been tight-knit since they met at a party last year. Nevertheless, this was a little out of character for Jeno but Donghyuck brushed it aside. Tonight, it was his mission to hide, blend in, and make sure a little freshman wouldn't spot him in the crowd.
While Jeno was too preoccupied with whatever was on his phone, Donghyuck took a swig from his own drink and scanned the room. A little farther to the right, near the stairs, Renjun has imprinted himself on one of the senior girls he has been crushing on for god knows how long. Sadly, it seemed like they were not interested in him. Jaemin, on the other hand, with his bright neon blue hair and striking black leather jacket and too fitted jeans, could be seen talking to his bandmates, a pair of freshmen, Chenle and Jisung, animatedly. There was a bright smile on Jaemin's face and his younger companions were as excited as he was.
"They have a gig tomorrow," Jeno murmured as if reading Donghyuck's mind. Donghyuck turned to his friend and saw that Jeno has already lit a cigarette and has finally pocketed his phone. Unconsciously, Donghyuck made a grab for the stick and Jeno generously gave it, eyes still roaming the expanse of the party. Ever since that one incident three months ago, smoking has become a habit he has been trying to get rid of. But like any other vices, it has been quite the struggle.
"Every time the smoke burns my throat, I am reminded of my stupidity." Donghyuck took a long drag and puffed gently into the buzzing party air. He admitted it to no one but since Jeno was close enough he heard him clearly. Jeno shook the sleeve of his red hoodie to reveal a leather strapped watch. He took a quick glance before finally drinking a sip from his now warm beer.
"Has it something to do with the kid who has been staring at you for the last few seconds," Jeno pointed out and like an idiot, Donghyuck searched for the familiar long blond locks, and on cue, her beady small eyes met his. He lifted his bottle and gave her a curt nod. After realizing what he just did, Donghyuck cursed himself. He should really stop, being too nice, another habit he seems to couldn't get rid of too.
"You've been leading her on for three months, dude, why don't you just tell her straight on?" Jeno took the cigarette out of his fingers and Donghyuck could still feel her burning stare on him.
Despite coming out, Donghyuck knew deep inside that Jeno would never understand why he was ignoring her. Three months ago, Donghyuck was in denial. He was trapped inside his own head. It was dark and musty and he thought that trying to live in it and get used to it was the best solution. It was a cycle of lies and self-hatred. Because three months ago, in the same house, around the same time, Donghyuck and the gang were in the kitchen, smoking the weed Jeno found on the dance floor while drinking their fifth or sixth bottle of beer, when Renjun innocently asked him: "Who do you like?"
It was a harmless question—the typical question a curious high school student would ask. Who do you find hot? Who's the girl he would want to take home and fuck? Of course, Jaemin immediately butts in with an answer. It was as if he was waiting for Renjun to ask the magic question.
"The brunette with the ponytail. The sophomore Naeun has been hanging out lately," Jaemin bluntly said.
Inside of Donghyuck's head, he was already formulating a lie. Not a well-crafted one, but enough to get the boys out of his hair.
Renjun frowned, "The cheerleader? Irene's prettier." Jeno simply rolled his eyes and elbowed Donghyuck. "How 'bout you Hyuckie? Got your eyes on someone?"
Donghyuck felt bile rising up to his throat. Their eyes were waiting and anticipating, like always the pressure was strong. He felt like an animal in a circus and the grandmaster were his best friends, they were waiting for him to perform his specialty: making girls fall for him in an instant. Renjun always voiced out his jealousy on how Donghyuck could naturally sweep a girl off of her feet without breaking a sweat. Maybe, its because he wasn't into them in that way. What was he going to lose? Nothing. Since he simply wasn't interested. In his eyes, these girls were only going to be his friends.
Jaemin patted his shoulder, urging him to immediately answer and with practiced ease, Donghyuck put on a face. He sighed, took a drag from the joint, and scanned the room for another poor girl. Right on time, a short girl with bright blonde hair walked in his peripheral view. She was dragging her friend who was barely standing up and she was in a hurry to bring her somewhere. Donghyuck didn't recognize her or the drunk friend, thus, he thought it would be fine to choose her.
"The blonde one," he finally replied. Jaemin raised an eyebrow and Renjun immediately scoured the room. "Can you get any vaguer?" Jeno shot him a look and Donghyuck gave him a cheeky wink. Well, that would probably shut them up, or so he thought it would.
"Oh, is she the one coming here right now?" Renjun asked and in a speed of light, Donghyuck's head snapped away from Jeno. The blonde girl was now closing in on them and the boys suddenly stiffened. "Oh fuck," he muttered which Renjun immediately caught. "It is her! We'll handle her friend and you do your magic," and Renjun winked knowingly.
Once she arrived Donghyuck's friends started crowding the drunk girl, "Don't worry we got her," Renjun reassured the blonde girl as he grabbed her friend and gently lead her to the sink. Being the sober one, she arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "Are you sure?" Skepticism was evident in her voice. Donghyuck laughed and waved her off, "Yes, don't worry. That's the closest Renjun has been to a girl."
Since Donghyuck stood behind her, the blonde girl had to turn around in order to face him. Now they were closer, Donghyuck could finally see her features. She was beautiful, almost elegant. Her eyes were small and beady but they sparkled innocently, and her blonde long hair brought out her natural blush. In short, she was cute. The type of girl anyone wanted to hang out with or in some other cases, date.
She gave him a smile that made him want to try. Maybe, his feelings were just a phase.
Liking boys was just a phase.
So, like any other guy who would want to make a girl fall for him, he put on his charm and gave her his best smile.
Thus the smoking incident. They bonded over the joint Donghyuck was smoking. She didn't tell him that it was her first time. Donghyuck only picked up on it after she took a drag then suddenly she coughed and her eyes started watering. Like any other gentleman, he taught her how to do it.
Donghyuck took a drag, let the smoke sit inside his mouth, gesturing for the blonde girl to come closer, curled his hands, connected it to his lips, and then slowly to hers. She watched him with glittering anticipation and Donghyuck, for a moment, believed this could work. He then blew the smoke out and shared it with her.
An action he regrets ever since.
Yeojin's a freshman. The reason why Donghyuck has not seen her face. Yet, he has heard of her name. Yeojin has garnered quite the admirers from her upperclassmen and Donghyuck wouldn't be surprised, she was petite, beautiful, and hot. Yeojin would laugh at his words even though he wasn't trying to be funny. She also knew how to kiss with tongue. A feat any high schooler would love to experience.
Again, another action Donghyuck regretted.
After their little escapade at their party which was cut off due to cops coming in because of a noise complaint, they hanged out once more at school.
Again, an action Donghyuck heavily regretted.
While Donghyuck got to know her more, the harder he tried to put a distance between them. A task that was both easy and hard. Easy, because freshmen and sophomore had classes at the other side of campus; and hard, because Donghyuck genuinely liked her, as a friend. Yeojin was sweet and charming. She was naive but she knew what she wanted, and that was Donghyuck. On the other hand, Donghyuck didn't want her. So, like any dumbass teenager out there, he started ignoring her. Clearly, she hadn't gotten the picture because the girl was persistent. Yeojin would message him endlessly and Donghyuck would not reply. After a few weeks, it worked. Just like that, Donghyuck was free from the grasped of his own horrible decisions, of course, that did not last long. The world has other plans for the adventure of Lee Donghyuck, because last week when they miraculously crossed paths at the school hallway, she gave Donghyuck a small wave and a shy "hi". Not to be rude, Donghyuck replied with a nod. Just a nod. Nothing more, nothing less, but apparently, to Yeojin, that meant more. Thus, it leads to the return of endless texting, attempts to meet up, and Donghyuck's current dilemma.
Yeojin had a whole entire battalion of men waiting to kiss her feet, and here she was, chasing a man who will never like her because she had no dick.
When Donghyuck finally decided that crowd watching will not get him out of his situation, Jeno was already back on his phone. Unbeknownst to his friend, Donghyuck was getting agitated. From the corner of his eyes, he could tell she was approaching their spot and Donghyuck needed to get out of there.
"Do you need another drink?" Donghyuck asked. He knew Jeno drank so little from his own beer that it still looked untouched, but Donghyuck was getting desperate, and despite her short legs, Yeojin was a fast walker.
"I'm getting us drinks, wait right here," he finally said when Jeno only gave him a questionable look but surprisingly, Jeno didn't stop him.
The moment he reached the kitchen, a small weight was lifted off his shoulder. The kitchen was empty. This made it easier for Donghyuck to maneuver around the counters and reach the refrigerator. He pulled it open and stared inside. If he was being honest, the block of butter was more entertaining than the ongoing party on the other side of the room. If only the fridge was a door that could take him back home that would be great. Donghyuck didn't want another beer or another drag of Jeno's awful cigarettes. He wanted to leave the party and go straight back home. He'd rather waste his hours playing video games than fend off Yeojin's advances. He should have disagreed with the boys. They could have celebrated by playing FIFA or some online Uno card game. It would have still been a celebration, except minus the loud music and hot clashing bodies. Staying home really sounded better.
"Hey stranger," he heard while he tried to grab a bottle from the chiller. Donghyuck wanted to curse out loud but when his skin touched the cold glass he got a hold of himself. After grabbing his choice of drink, he turned around and was greeted by Yeojin's smiling face. "You're a slippery bastard aren't you?" she mused and Donghyuck simply shrugged.
"I guess I am," he managed to say while trying to find a way out. She was standing right in front of him making it difficult for Donghyuck to steer away from her.
"Should we, uh?" She started stepping closer. Cornering him. Suddenly, Donghyuck could feel the counter against his back. Donghyuck frowned and shook his head, "Whatever you're thinking we probably shouldn't."
"Why?" There was a hint of disappointment in her voice but Donghyuck did not fail to notice the slight pucker of her lips and the way she batted her eyelash. She really needed to understand that he was not interested.
Out of nowhere, a small group of people who were laughing stood by the kitchen doorway, they were now blocking the other room, and any attempt of Donghyuck to catch any of his friends' attention was futile. The strangers who unceremoniously planted themselves by the kitchen entrance were complete strangers except for one familiar face, a senior called Mark Lee.
The new guy.
They haven't officially interacted but they were in the same club. A club that Renjun dragged him and the others to join a month ago because his dearest Irene was the president. The club was filled with both juniors and seniors but the majority were the latter. Even though Donghyuck has been to three meetings and one ridiculous awesome party, he hasn't formally spoken to Mark.
"I'm, uh, sick?" Donghyuck excused, then coughed, eyes still trained on Mark who was making his way towards the fridge. Yeojin raised an eyebrow, the same way she did three months ago when the boys took care of her sick friend.
Okay, fuck, obviously she wasn't buying it and Donghyuck was running out of time.
There were only two ways this event could go to, first, he crushes and breaks her heart which would literally mean digging a huge hole for himself, or the second one, a plan he did not want to use but he might actually need to.
"I don't believe you," she told him and Donghyuck wouldn't even disagree with her because who fakes sickness while they're at a party?
"You've been avoiding me lately. Do you hate me? Am I not up to your standards?" she continued, her voice laced with a tinge of hurt.
"No!" he immediately said and then there was a slight hope in her angelic face and Donghyuck, once again, regretted what he just said.
Then what is it?" She asked, took another step closer, invading most of Donghyuck's personal space. "Is it because you're a virgin?" she whispered.
"What?" he asked, scandalized. Sure he was but he wasn't telling her that. She doesn't need to know. Finally. Yeojin took a step back and Donghyuck finally noticed the breath he was holding.
"It could be the only reason. It's okay to be scared. I got you." the sincerity in her voice made Donghyuck feel even worse.
"It's not that. Christ, it's far from it," he sighed. From the corner of his eye, Donghyuck caught sight of Mark Lee walking closer to their side of the kitchen, and like a lightbulb, Donghyuck's second plan was finally revealing itself. This was foolproof because he remembered Mark's introduction during the first club meeting. If Donghyuck was being extremely honest, Mark's incredible confidence was one of the reasons why Donghyuck could finally live comfortably in his own skin without any qualms. In a way, he was thankful for the guy.
"Then what is it?" she pleaded and Donghyuck prayed to the heaven's above his plan would not backfire. "Tell me."
"I'm dating someone," he blurted. There was a brief pause before Yeojin's eyebrows furrowed, "Who?"
Donghyuck took a deep shallow breath and did the impossible. The moment Mark stepped in front of them, making a bypass towards the fridge, Donghyuck grabbed Mark's arm and spun him around.
Nervous was an understatement, Donghyuck wanted to earth to swallow him and never spit him back out.
Mark didn't flinch nor did he try to fight the grip away. Though, the way Mark's eyes suddenly enlarged was enough for Donghyuck to see how surprised he was at what was happening around him.
"This is Mark Lee," Donghyuck introduced the moment Mark stood beside him. When Mark wasn't showing any signs of freaking out or breaking Donghyuck's cover, he slowly slid his arms around Mark's shoulder. "It's still pretty new."
Donghyuck could feel Mark's intense stare at him but he ignored it and continued to put up a front. Yeojin's face flickered ever so slightly as if she was fighting an internal battle. In the end, her face settled for neutrality and she simply eyed the couple in a strange way.
This time it was Mark who did something surprising. From where Donghyuck's hand hanged on his shoulder, Mark grabbed it and gave it a comforting squeeze. Donghyuck almost yelped but was too preoccupied at Yeojin's reaction.
"Babe, you didn't tell me you had such a cute friend," Mark smiled at her and gave Donghyuck's hand a little rub. They could clearly see the blush that was forming on her face thanks to Mark's compliment. But that didn't last too long as realization flashed before her eyes.
"You're gay, pansexual?" she bluntly asked. Donghyuck almost winced. This was it, the leap of faith.
"Yeah, something like that."
Yeojin watched both of them, her eyes shifting left and right, and with a sharp intake of her breath, she gathered herself and finally said, "I— you, we—I'm leaving." Without saying another word, she swept past them and out of the kitchen. It would be a lie if Donghyuck didn't feel bad. The guilt was eating him alive and the slight glimmer of tears in her eyes was enough to pierce his heart. Maybe he should have told her the truth but then again, maybe she'd clamber for something more. It could be a phase. She might say and Donghyuck did not want to hear that from her. Someday, he'll talk to her. Right now his cowardice has caused him a bigger problem at hand.
When Donghyuck was finally sure she was out of earshot, he released Mark from his grip and faced him. The apology was already hanging on the tip of Donghyuck's tongue when Mark beat him to it.
"Maybe I should know what my boyfriend's name is. Are you perhaps Donghyuck?" He asked, there was a certain twinkle in the guy's eyes, almost mischievous but Donghyuck tried to ignore it.
Instead, he flashed an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about that. It's just that she was getting too much and—"
"Was I the closest guy or something else?" Mark raised an eyebrow. His eyes still trained on Donghyuck's. Suddenly, Donghyuck noticed how shorter Mark was, not the same as Yeojin's but a few centimeters lower than him. They were almost eye-to-eye that Donghyuck could see the little sparkle of light reflecting against his brown orbs.
"Something else," Donghyuck admitted, looking away. "Do you know Na Jaemin?"
Mark hummed, "We're acquainted. His band had played at the parties I frequent too."
Letting out a breath, Donghyuck took a step back and said, "Well, he told me you were gay since he saw you making out with some dude at a party."
With a click of a tongue, Mark nodded, "I'm bisexual."
It wasn't entirely a lie. During Mark's introduction in the club, he did say that he was a raging bisexual and whoever had problems would it should go fuck themselves. If Donghyuck was as ballsy as Mark was, he would have probably given the guy a standing ovation. After hearing Mark's words, Jaemin immediately perked up and whispered beside Donghyuck of the countless encounters he had with Mark. Apparently, he did live up to his raging bisexuality.
"Cool, cool," Donghyuck said, playing with the bottle of beer on his hand. "You don't have to worry, I won't make you date me. It was just for five minutes."
"This was the shortest relationship I've had. Are you sure you don't want any of this?" Mark gestured towards his body while winking. The joke was enough for Donghyuck to crack a subtle smile. For a fleeting moment, Donghyuck thought he saw Mark lick his lips while meeting his eyes. Donghyuck ignored it and took a big swig from the beer he was holding.
Not today, he thought to himself.
Then out of nowhere, it hit him, like a slap on the face, he forgot one important factor. He paled, took a quick glance at Mark who was now leaning on the counter, their arms almost sticking together.
"You're single right?" Donghyuck asked, trying to be casual, he took another drink. Mark chuckled, "Yeah. Unless you want to change it?" It was another joke, a joke that Donghyuck could not help but feel ridiculous about. He did not want to look too deep into the meaning, so, instead, Donghyuck grinned like a fool and bumped shoulders with Mark.
"We just broke up," he teased.
Mark shrugged as he watched the crowd bounce with the music, "If you say so."
Donghyuck decided not to reply. He took another swig from his bottle and let Mark's warm arm comfort him for a while.
Tonight was certainly interesting.