Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"It's... delicious."
Fie felt a sweet taste filling her mouth after sipping the not-quite coffee Machias made for her.

Machias chuckled as he settled down on the seat across her. "Glad you liked it, I was worried it'd taste too strong for you."

She sniffed at the drink before taking another sip. "It smells like coffee but also... not bitter?"

"It's called Caffe Latte, basically like Capuccino but with more milk, hence the lighter taste." He blowed his black before sipping it. "Actually, I added even more milk because I know you don't like bitter stuff."

Fie had always liked the smell of coffee, but could never stand the bitterness of it, so Machias's obsession with the beverage sometimes puzzled her. Not saying she's a tea person, like Emma, Jusis, or Gaius, she just likes anything that's easy for her stomach and tasty, plain and simple.

But this Caffe Latte thingy the bespectacled young inspector made for her might be her entryway to the world of coffee.

"Well, I like it." She held the mug tightly. "Thanks, Machias."

"Don't mention it." He took a paper from the pile on the table and scanned it,  Machias finding a chance to do his works even when there's a friend visiting him is very on-brand, Fie thought in amusement. "It's nothing special, really. You can find it in basically any coffee shop across the country. The one I tried in Crossbell was pretty good."

"But they aren't yours..."

He glanced at her, furrowing an eyebrow. "Come again?"

Her eyes widened from the realisation that she just blurted it out loud when she was supposed to keep it to herself. "I-I'm just saying the ones from the shops would taste different."

Machias was silent for moment, followed by a snicker. "Well, if you say so."

When the man in front of her returned to his papers, Fie lowly sighed in relief. She then stared at the mug she's holding with both of her hands, smiling. Somehow, her cheeks were warm, but not because of the steam from the drink Machias made for her.

At least, she thought, she have found another excuse to crash at Machias's place more often than before.

Chapter Text

The cold night wind blew softly through Fie's face as she laid her head on the railings with a folded arm as its pillow, while the other hang free on the other side, staring mindlessly at the slow movements of the distant ferris wheel across where she's at; which she finds to be quite a hypnotic sight.

A faint stride approaching from behind broke her out of the reverie. "I though you already went back to the hotel, Machias."

The stride halted for a moment before continuing. "I swear I didn't even make any noise to tell you it was me." Machias said with a slight amusement.

"I've known you long enough to remember your footsteps, dummy." The lightheartedness in her voice aside, it's true.

Her ears have been trained to recognize footsteps during her time as a Jaeger, and she has remembered Machias' well during the early days of October War where she usually volunteered herself for the night watch duty, paying extreme attention to every single sign of movement and noticing every single noise from the top of the windmill that was their temporary hiding in Celdic.

"Heh." He said as he joined her, but not before pressing a cold can of milk on her cheek which sent her for a jolt. "Let your guard down, didn't you?"

"Was that even needed?" She took the can, grateful, but slightly annoyed.

"Well, it's on me, so-" A pause as he opened his coffee can. "-better don't get mad at me."

"Whatever. " She said as she opened hers and gulped in the content. It was sweeter than she anticipated, but did rejuvenate her a bit which makes her realize that she hasn't been drinking anything before coming here by herself. Machias often brought her something to drink; usually a mug of hot milk coffee during her night watches back then, and the habit seemed to be still there.

"Who do you think's inside that thing?"

"The what?"

He gestured at his front.

"Ooh..." It was the ferris wheel. "Well, I think I saw Rean and Alisa, then Kurt, Juna, and Altina too in the other box."

"Huh, that's an interesting group." He took another gulp. "Think the kids are spying on their instructor in case he's doing something scandalous up there?"

"It ain't that scandalous if they're doing a such pathetic job to hide it."

"Good point." Machias replied with a snicker. "By the way, I passed by Instructor Sara, Laura, Emma, and Gaius on the cafeteria below too."

The names mentioned piqued her interest. "Alcohol?"

"All of them except Emma, maybe."

"Well, they sure make up for an even more interesting group than the ones spinning in front of us." She took more gulp from her milk can.

"Considering how exceedingly helpful they have been for the past few weeks, I think Instructor Sara's just trying to let them blow off some steam." Machias drank from the can again. "You know, treating them for some drink and snack like a good adult before the big day tomorrow."

"Probably the most properly adult-like thing she's ever done to her students."

The unnecessary jab at their perpetually youthful instructor sent both Fie and Machias for a laugh, which echoed through the wind before they slowed down and let the silent wheel watching activity continues.

It was a lovely evening in the Mishelam Wonderland, with music (which she assumed was from Elliot and Fiona), chatters, laughs, and other lively noises filling the night air, an evening full of reunions and meetings of friends and comrades, living up to the amusement park's name.

Which made Fie remember the reason for them to be here. It was to give them time to cherish each others' bonds before tomorrow.

"Are you scared, Machias?" The sudden question made the bespectacled boy shot a glance at her. "You said it before, tomorrow's the big day." She said without even looking at him.

"Ah, that." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Of course I do."

"Good."

"Huh?"

Fie said as she looked at hin straight in the eyes. "I would be more worried if you're not."

"Why?" To no response, and confusion filled Machias' face as he scratched his cheek. "Well, aren't you?"

"When you're a Jaeger? Not really." She said with a shrug.

"Ex-Jaeger, Fie." He emphasized on the 'ex' as if what she said somehow offended him.

"Do you know why I come here?" Machias shooked his head lightly as an answer. "It's a habit. On nights before battles, I always go by myself, looking for places far away from the others, higher ground, preferrably. Staring down at the sight below, be it forests, plains, villages, the ones that will definitely stench of smoke and blood on the next day."

"For what?"

"You can say I'm just pondering, but-" Fie sighed heavily. "Deep inside, I know it was just my way to contain my excitement. The thrill of fighting, putting all the things I've trained and learned to test and see if they'd help me and the others survive each battle, the aftermath catharsis if I ever made it out, everything."

She can feel Machias tensed up.

"And it's still there, Machias. Some things don't change overnight, months, or even years. I still am a Jaeger by birth. That's why I'm here." She took one last gulp before emptying and crushing the can with her hand, feeling a slight lump on her throat. "And Sara too, those drinkings are just her own way to suppress it."

There was a moment of silent awkwardness before Machias let out a big sigh and opened his mouth. "Well, at least your way is healthier."

Fie shifted her sight to him again, baffled by such casual reaction out of him. "Huh?"

"I mean," He scratched his head with a nervous giggle. "You were a Jaeger for a very long time, it's just logical that you'd find it hard to let go of some things from that time. The same way that deep down, I still dislike the way nobles carried their businesses even after being, errr, friends, with some of them. I was born a commoner, and even if somehow I become more than that, it'd be hard for me to change the way I view things without taking off my perspective as that kid who grew up in that small, insignificant Heimdallr district."

He motioned to take another gulp, but refrained midway. "But if I may ask, have you ever told someone about this?"

"Nope."

"Not even Sara, maybe?"

Fie shooked her head. There was a mutual subconscious understanding between each Jaeger to not bother or inquire about each other's 'meditation' habits or methods, so she never told her about it despite being practically her sister figure.

"Good." He took the gulp. "That's how you should know you've changed."

Fie blinked twice, again confused. "How?"

"You poured yourself on me, practically a stranger who had no part in your life until you came to the academy, who had no business of knowing about your past. I don't know if this whole thing was intentional on your end, but you asked me first about how I feel, and you told me yours." He leaned to pat her shoulder. "You've confronted the thing that's been haunting you, you've opened yourself up, you've changed. And you will always change as long as you're alive."

Fie didn't know how to react as her mouth left slightly ajar, processing every single word from Machias. She wasn't sure if what he said about the change was true, the reason why she'd come here by herself was so she'd be the only one to feel bad about being excited at the prospect of the oncoming fight tomorrow, she thought it's a terrible thing and pretending to feel anxious like the others did made her uneasy.

But after unintentionally poured herself up to someone, she felt better about herself.

And a strange excitement brewed from her stomach, and up to her face, which feels warm and probably red now.

"Shit." A slightly red-faced Machias withdrew his hand from Fie's shoulder. "That was embarrassing, sorry."

"It's okay." Fie said, trying her best to give him a genuine smile. "Why did you come here, anyway?"

"I just finished helping Pattiry and saw you alone here on my way back, so..." Machias shrugged.

"Can I have that?"

"Huh?" Machias noticed that she was eyeing the half empty coffee can in his hand. "This? Sure, but it's black coffee you know?"

Fie nodded and got the can handed to her by a slightly hesitant Machias.

At first she took just a sip, feeling the bitter taste filling her mouth, but she toughened herself up to exhaust the rest of the can's content and while the bitternest was still there, the weirdly soothing aroma began to fill her too.

"Don't blame me if you can't sleep tonight." Machias said jokingly.

"No need to worry about that, I can sleep whenever I want." She crushed the empty can, now she has two on her hands. "We probably should get rid of these things."

"Yeah." He took the crushed coffee can from her hand. "Let's find a trash can on our way back to the hotel."

As Machias turned and took a few steps away from where here stood, Fie spoke. "How long until the park closes?"

"Huh? Oh..." The question promped him to check his watch. "Still around an hour left. Why?"

Fie smiled and gestured at the ferris wheel, which had now stopped and she could see familiar figures slowly pouring out from the boxes below. "Perfect timing."

"What timi-" Machias didn't even get the chance to finish his sentence when Fie slightly leaped and grabbed his wrist with her free hand, her scarf and slightly brushed his face for how close she was to him, feeling slight tickles before having to adjust himself to follow Fie's stride as she pulled him.

"Let's go, go, go!"

At that moment, Machias heard an entirely different Fie.

It was something she usually said whenever they set off to a mission, but now there was a new childlike and genuine excitement in her voice. A genuinely happy Fie. And he realized that they were heading to the ferris wheel.

Machias smiled to himself and adjusted his movement properly so that he could overrun Fie's stride and switched place to be the one leading, while still letting the firm grasp from her small hand gripped his wriest.

"Let's go!" Despite being startled at first, Fie gave in and followed Machias with a big smile on her face.

And the strange, but happy and laughing pair ran off to the ferris wheel, completely uncaring of the surprised and baffled eyes that were on them.

As they made it to the destination, panting and giggling, Fie felt the night wind blew through her again, but not feeling the cold, for the warm feelings she felt right now completely enveloped her.