Chapter Text
Paulina
I couldn’t bear for her to see me cry again. I did not want to give her the satisfaction of knowing how much her words affected me. I averted my eyes to the hospital blanket, dutifully picking at the lint, willing myself to keep my tears at bay. “What are you playing at Paulina? Why would you antagonize Puri on today of all days?” she spits through gritted teeth. I don’t have to look at her to know that her eyes are burning a hole through the side of my head, I can feel them. I feel anger surging deep in my core and I curse silently to myself as hot tears roll down my cheeks. “Fuck.” I say, burying my head in my hands, I could feel the weight of eight months of pure emotion crashing down on me and pulling me under. Maria Jose walks over to my bed and pries my hands away from my face, pushing me back against the pillows in the process. She leans over me and stares angrily into my eyes. I stare right back, my wet brown eyes a stark contrast to her blazing blues. “Do you enjoy making things difficult for me Paulina? Don’t you ever think about how hard it is to have you and Puri constantly at each other’s throats? And then you come to all the way to Spain and antagonize her at our mother’s funeral, knowing everything she’s been through?” she whispers angrily. I snatch away from her, unable to hold my tongue any longer.
“I don’t know why I thought for once you’d take my side, you’ve refused to allow Puri to take responsibility for anything she’s done since I’ve met you, including almost killing your child.”
“Puri loves Bruno, she would never hurt him!”
“Not Brunito, Maria Jose...”
It takes Maria Jose a moment, but when the realization dawns on her she’s stunned into silence. She sinks into the chair across from my bed and puts her head in her hands. I look up at the ceiling, hating myself for the bomb I’ve just dropped on her. Hating myself because I lied. Not only to her, but to Bruno, to Alejo and to myself.
“How long have you known it was mine?” she asks quietly. I purse my lips and breathe deeply, my eyes filling with fresh tears in the process. “It doesn’t matter” I squeak silently. That sets her off again and in a moment she’s back at my bedside, hauling me up me by my arms into an upright position so that we’re nose to nose. “Don’t play these games with me Paulina, I’m in no mood.” I whimper at the pain shooting through my arms from her tight grip, she senses my discomfort and loosens her grip but keeps my body levelled with hers. I lean forward to bury my face in her neck but her strong hands keep me at bay. “I’ve known since the beginning it was yours.” I say confidently. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you involved, you chose Kim so I decided to let you have the clean slate you’ve always wanted.” I spat venomously. I was angry at her for denying me the smallest comfort, angry at her for choosing Kim over me, for choosing Puri over me. I was angry at her for driving me into Alejo’s arms. I was angry because she wasn’t mine anymore and god damn it, I wanted her to be. As she lets me go, the tension she’d been holding in her body since our face off began slowly melted away. She sighs deeply and pushes her hands through her golden locks before looking at me with those blazing blue eyes that I loved so much.
“Were you ever going to tell me Pau? Were you ever going to tell him the truth?”
“Alejo knew from the beginning and he went along with the charade because I asked him to, but no, I never planned on telling you”
“And why the fuck not Paulina? Don’t you think I have a right to know that I’m going to be a mother again? Don’t you think our child has a right to know both of its mothers?”
“Why would I have told you Maria Jose? You were putting an end to whatever it was that we had because you claimed you couldn’t betray Kim any longer. You would’ve accused me of trying to trap you.”
“Bullshit- “
“No, its not bullshit! You have always painted me as some sort of mastermind of manipulation and deceit and that’s not what I wanted to hear, so I didn’t tell you.”
Maria Jose chuckles and rolls her eyes. “Well now that you’ve told me, I assume that you want me back in Mexico?”
“That’s not my call.” I say leaning back against my pillows and folding my arms over my chest. “You can do what you like, if you want to be a part of this child’s life, I won’t stop you, but I won’t beg you to either.”
Maria Jose presses her lips together and nods slightly, I can tell she’s extremely irritated with me but at this point I don’t care. I’m just as irritated with her. She picks up her purse and gives me one last look before storming out of my room, slamming the door shut behind her.
Eight months earlier
María José
Paulina de la Mora is a drug and I have a hopeless addiction. I stopped by the house to drop off a few of Bruno’s things he’d left at Kim and I’s place and once again I find myself back in her arms. Tangled in her sheets. Under her, on top of her, next to her. She drives me crazy in every sense of the word. I’m a slave to her big brown eyes, to her soft skin, to her slow sleepy speech. I adore her, I loathe her. I never understood how an individual could be driven to madness by another person until I met her; but I stay. A hopeless addiction indeed. Morning turns into late afternoon and I know our time together will soon come to an end. Bruno will be home soon and I’ll have to return to Kim, but as I lay here with her, her warm body pressed against mine I can’t deny how deeply I’ll miss this moment. The shrill ring of my cell phone pulls me out of my thoughts and as I reach over to grab it, I feel her stir and lightly grasp my hand. “Don’t.” she mumbles sleepily as she kisses my neck and wraps her arms around me tighter. I shake my head and reach for it anyway. I feel her body tense against mine and in one swift moment, she’s turned to the other side of the bed with her back to me. I exhale deeply remembering the side of her that absolutely works my last nerve. Paulina is fiercely possessive and has been since I met her. At first, I attributed that ugly part of her personality to her upbringing, but quickly came to realize that the only time that ugly green monster rears its head is where I’m concerned. Paulina requires a certain amount of devotion and attention from her lovers and when it fails to materialize in the manner that she’d like she becomes withdrawn, possessive, and bratty. In short, she always wants to have her own way in matters of the heart. I ignore her mini tantrum long enough to answer the phone and let Kim know I’d be home soon. In the middle of my conversation, Paulina suddenly throws the bedsheets back and jumps out of bed, rattling around the bedroom making unnecessary noises. I roll my eyes at her antics. I quickly wrap up my call with Kim and when I do, Paulina is standing in front of the bedroom window with her back to me, pulling her silk robe around her body. She runs her finger through her hair and slowly begins walking to the bedroom door. I reach over from my place on the bed and grasp her arm, pulling her to me. She puts up a small fight but eventually lets me drag her over to the bed and pull her onto my lap. I lean in to kiss her lips, but she turns away so that my lips only catch her cheek. “What’s the matter with you, hm?” I question pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She scoffs and mumbles something under her breath but offers nothing more, so I squeeze her tighter against my body until she bursts into peals of laughter. I loved seeing her smile and hearing her laugh. “Now tell me what’s got the princess pouting.” I demand once her laughter has died down. A healthy blush has settled over her cheeks and she looks almost like the 18-year-old I’d met years ago when she pushes her lips forward to form her famous pout.
“I don’t want you to go.” She mumbles as she buries her face in my neck.
“You know if it were up to me, I would stay.”
“It is up to you, but you want to have your cake and eat it too.” She snaps, pulling away from me. Her jealous streak has begun rearing its ugly head and I know that from here it only gets worse.
“Cariño-“
“Paulina.”
I exhale heavily, reminding myself that this is what comes with the territory of being loved by Paulina de la Mora. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to me, holding her tight enough that she doesn’t try to escape my grip. I shift myself until my back is against the headboard and she is leaning back against my chest. I peer down at her face, smiling at how her eyebrows are creased in frustration.
“What are you smirking about?” she questions, irritated by my unaffected demeaner.
“I’m smirking about what a little brat you become when you don’t get what you want.”
“You know I’ve never been good at sharing.”
“You’re not sharing. You have me.”
“If I have you, why do you go home to her every night?”
She’s right, and I know she is, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to give myself over to her entirely. Not yet, at least. We both knew I was playing a pointless game, I knew I wanted Pau, Pau knew I wanted her, hell sometimes I think even Kim knew our relationship was on borrowed time, but I refused to let Pau have complete and total control over me again. For once, I had something to hold over her head and I would use it to my advantage. I ignore her line of questioning and dip my fingers into the cleavage of her robe and begin playing with her nipple while my other hand creeped between her warm thighs, smiling when I felt her wet heat caress my fingers. She tips her head back to look up at me lazily. I’ve gotten her right where I want her.
“I have to leave in about thirty minutes, so would you like me to make you come one more time or would you like to argue instead?” She hums deep in her throat and then lets out a small whimper when I begin to pull my hands away from her body.
“You’re a dead woman if you stop.”
“That’s what I thought.”