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The campus grounds were quiet as Johnny made his way from the carpark to the residence.
Were it any other day, he would have taken his time to get back, have a winding-down stroll after a packed weekend shift at the café he was working at. But today was not one of those days. His hand fidgeted with the side button of his phone in his pocket as he walked swiftly towards the apartment building in the distance, footsteps loud on the stone pavements — the only sound that disturbed the tranquil night except for the chatter of some students passing him by.
He unlocked his phone to check for new messages as he waited for the elevator at the lobby, foot tapping against the floor impatiently. There were two.
jungwoo [22:12]
he’s been holing himself up in his room since noon
you can come up, hyung
He sighed as he typed in thanks quickly, tapping send just in time for the elevator’s doors to open. A jab at the button that read ‘10’ and he was leaning against the railing, watching as the number on the display in the lift increased slowly. He frowned when it stopped at ‘5’ (his floor, actually), only to relax when Taeyong appeared behind the doors.
“Oh, going up to find Jaehyunie?”
He nodded silently, thanking his dormmate in his head for pushing the close button once he entered the compartment. They were quiet on the way up, but Johnny knew that Taeyong had an idea about what’s going on. He was Jaehyun’s closest confidante after Johnny himself, after all.
Unsurprisingly, Taeyong was headed for the same suite as he was. He gave the door three brisk knocks before pushing it open without waiting for anyone to acknowledge it. They were all friends, and formalities have long been thrown away. He followed Taeyong into the room and waved at Mark and Taeil who were in the common area, before making a left turn towards the rooms.
Outside Jaehyun’s room, Johnny paused for a moment as he deliberated on whether he should make his presence known just in case Jaehyun has already fallen asleep. The low hum of bass chords from behind the door cleared his doubts, and he knocked gently before poking his head in.
“Jae?”
The room was lit a familiar warm yellow, and in the corner of it was Jaehyun, lying on his bed with his phone in his hand. His eyes widened at the sight of Johnny and he sat up, phone slipping out of his hand and forgotten.
“Hey, hyung.”
“Hey, baby.”
The pet name slipped out without Johnny even realising as he closed the door behind him. It did make Jaehyun smile, though, which eased his worries a little. He took off his coat quickly, hanging it across the back of Jaehyun’s chair before sitting down at the foot of the bed, attention finally fully on his boyfriend.
“… Have you eaten?”
He reached out to thread his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair gently, and smiled when Jaehyun closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. He didn’t want to broach the subject just yet, not when he has been away the whole day and couldn’t be here next to him — even though that was all he thought about throughout his day. The truth was, his heart and mind hasn’t been with him since he’s received Jaehyun’s text in the morning. It was a simple text with just three words, but it was enough to make his heart sink:
jae♡ [10:39]
i’m tired, hyung
He knew that Jaehyun hasn’t been feeling his best lately (“I guess I’m in a slump,” he’s said so himself a few days ago, tone the most lifeless Johnny’s ever heard from him.); it started when he received a ‘B’ on the architecture project he’s been working tirelessly on for the past few months. It must have been a big blow to his confidence, because he couldn’t seem to get anything done right since then, or at least that’s what he told Johnny. As a business major, nothing about the architect’s world made sense to him, but even he could tell that Jaehyun’s great at what he’s doing, just based on the amazing designs he’s seen from him and his consistent grades so far. It broke his heart to see Jaehyun so defeated, and even more so that he couldn’t do anything to help other than to stay by his side to give him all the support he needs.
“Not hungry,” came Jaehyun’s reply to his question, and Johnny gave a hum of disapproval.
“I got you a cookie from the café. It’s still warm,” Johnny said as he searched for the paper bag from either of his coat pockets. He waved it in front of Jaehyun’s face once he got it out, in an poorly executed attempt to make it seem enticing. It made Jaehyun scrunch his nose, albeit jokingly, before he took the bag from Johnny’s hand and tossed it gently on the desk next to his bed.
“Later, maybe,” he replied as he scooted over to the inner side of his bed, folding the duvet up to leave a space next to him.
“Lie down with me?”
Johnny grinned, mumbling an of course as he plopped down on the bed, arms wrapping around Jaehyun’s body under the sheets almost immediately. The twin bed is a little cramped for two grown (and quite tall) men, but they make it work each time by sticking as close as possible. He kissed the crown of Jaehyun’s head when the younger moved closer to rest his head against his chest, and listened to his quiet breathing over the soft music coming from Jaehyun’s record player. His selection tonight was Cigarettes After Sex, and the track Opera House just started playing.
“How was your day?” Jaehyun asked, voice a little muffled against his shirt.
“It was fine,” Johnny lied, not wanting to make him feel guilty about worrying him.
“I missed you a lot, though.”
Jaehyun chuckled at his afterthought and mumbled flirt in reply. His finger came up to tap against a spot on his shirt, and when Johnny looked down he realised that it was the coffee stain he got at work today. He groaned as Jaehyun giggled, before he pinched Jaehyun’s cheeks softly as punishment for laughing at his misery.
“How about you?” asked Johnny then, shifting his head down a little so that they could look at each other face to face.
“How was your day?”
He knew that it was a sensitive topic these days, since Jaehyun didn’t like to be reminded of how unproductive he has been lately. But he really was curious (and concerned) about how his day had been; what he had been thinking of, what he had eaten throughout the day, whether he’s seen anything interesting online today — small things like this.
“The same old, I guess…”
Jaehyun’s eyes strayed away from his as he spoke, a habit he has when he’s not being honest. Only when Johnny caressed his cheek did he look back and smile as Johnny whispered to him in English:
“Come on, baby. Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”
He waited patiently as Jaehyun sighed and collected his thoughts.
“I guess I’m just frustrated with everything… With myself for not being able to overcome it, with things not working out… I just feel like a failure, honestly…” Jaehyun spilled his thoughts out, laying himself bare for Johnny to see, and he listened attentively, eyes fixed on Jaehyun’s face as it scrunched up and relaxed along with his words.
“You will overcome it,” Johnny reassured him once he was sure that there was nothing else he wanted to add, voice quiet but full of conviction, “You’re trying your best right now, I know you are. And that’s enough.”
He leaned in so that their noses were almost touching, locking eyes with Jaehyun before saying at last:
“I’m proud of you for not giving up, Jae.”
The smile that bloomed on Jaehyun’s face at his reassurance made all the worry he’s been throughout the whole day worth it, and he brushed the wetness forming around Jaehyun’s eyes gently before leaning down to kiss him.
“Thanks, hyung,” Jaehyun murmured.
He hugged Jaehyun closer instead of replying, arms tight around his waist in hopes that he can feel all his love. They stayed in this position for a while, almost for the duration of a whole song, before he felt Jaehyun’s fist pushing against his chest and looked down to see him slightly embarassed, ears flushed red.
“… I might be a little hungry now, actually.”
Johnny burst out in laughter at his confession, pinching his cheeks again affectionately before reaching over to retrieve the forsaken cookie on the desk. He watched as Jaehyun ate, body warm against his while they sat back to chest on his bed.
“Let’s go on a date tomorrow,” he suggested softly, “We can go to the Japanese place you like, stay out in town the whole day.”
Jaehyun looked at him questioningly.
“But you have another shift tomorrow, don’t you?”
“I could get Hyuck to cover for me,” Johnny shrugged, hand coming up to play with Jaehyun’s hair, “He still owes me one for helping him take over the other time.”
Jaehyun shook his head in mock disapproval, although the anticipation in his eyes and small smile on his lips betrayed his act. It made Johnny chuckle, and he pressed another kiss to the exposed skin at back of Jaehyun’s neck.
He hoped that he would be able to bring a smile to Jaehyun like he did today no matter what happens; not just tomorrow, but in the many days ahead they have in the future as well.