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He is the boy your mother warned you about.
There are so many safer options, even here in this camp of criminals and social misfits. Wells was the one with most potential. If you could, he’d definitely be the boy to take home to your mother (assuming you still had a home, which you don’t, and a mother, which is debatable) - he’d given up your friendship to protect your state of mind, he’d given up his life in his attempt to prolong yours, he’d met your mother, and she’d loved him - but now he’s gone, dead like so many of the others.
Finn is the next best option.
Kind, sweet, sensitive Finn. Your mother would be delighted to have him as a son, you think. With his good morals and swoon-worthy hair, she’d totally like him as much as you do.
But that seems to be the problem. You’re not so sure of how much you like Finn now - Or Spacewalker, as Bellamy calls him (see, that damn boy - man - is sneaking into your thoughts even as you’re telling yourself he can’t) - you know he’s good for you, and he’s nice and he’s great. But really, can he protect you? He’s broken your heart once, he made you the other woman. Can you work back from that? No, you don’t think you can. Scratch that, you definitely can’t. You think of him hugging Raven. Nope, that’s over.
Your mother might like him, but you most certainly don’t.
That leaves one boy in your mind.
Bellamy Blake.
The self-proclaimed monster. The rebel leader. The criminal amongst criminals - they’re his people, he claims. He’d killed a man - as good as killed a man - to protect his little sister. 320 more people had to die to protect himself.
Yep. He’s definitely the boy your mother warned you about.
The one that would tear down the whole universe and think it was okay, because he’d done it in your name.
The one that would torture a man, kill him, to keep you happy.
The one who would be the darkness, so that you could be the light.
The one plaguing your mind and dreams, sticking up where he’s not wanted. This is what you tell yourself.
You most definitely do not want Bellamy Blake. You don’t want any kind of relationship with him. You’re co-leaders, that’s the closest you want to get to him.
You don’t know the truth in this statement.
Scratch that, there is no truth in this statement.
She’s the girl your mother warned you about.
There are so many safer options. Girls that make you feel everything and nothing at all. The girls that give your body what it wants without entering your mind once.
Roma was the best option. She was strong, relatively smart and great in the sack.
She’s also gone. Died for you just like the hundreds of others.
That other girl, she’s next. She’s good in the sack and she’s got no emotional attachments. She doesn’t follow you around camp. She doesn’t want to cuddle, she scorns at the sentiment, much like you.
The problem with her is that you don’t know her name, and you don’t have any desire to.
She might be safe, she might not make you feel. She might not make your head spin in the worst possible way and make you question every choice you’ve ever made. She might not expect a relationship.
But what if you have started pining for everything she’s not?
It’s not right, not at all. But you don’t know how to stop it.
Your body might like it, but you certainly don’t.
That leaves one girl in your mind.
Clarke Griffin.
The Avenging Angel. The princess of the ark. The girl who by all rights shouldn’t be here - you’ve always believed that, although the terms of your beliefs have reluctantly changed. The girl too precious, too smart, too everything for this planet. The girl who allowed you to torture a man to save one of your own. The girl who is capable of so much more than you originally thought. We can’t do this without you, Bellamy.
Yep. She’s definitely the princess from the stories your mother told you.
The one who wanted to save everyone, and got disheartened when she couldn’t - but never let anyone see it.
The one who pulls you out of even the darkest depths, snatching you from the grasps of your demons.
The one who needs you, like you need to be needed.
The one who frustrates you to no end.
The one who pokes her nose where it’s unwanted. That’s what you tell yourself.
Clarke Griffin is most definitely not wanted around you. Not now. Not ever.
You don’t want a relationship, you have no desire to have one with her.
You’re co-leaders, and you don’t even want to be that. You don’t want to spend any time with her at all.
This is what you tell yourself, vehemently, constantly.
You don’t know the truth in that statement.
Hell, there is no truth in that statement.