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Loving Kaminari Denki hurt more than Hanta would ever care to admit. Everything Denki did, from laughing to sneezing, made Hanta’s heart clench in the most uncomfortable way possible…and the blond didn’t even realize he was doing it.
Mina said that that’s what love is. Seeing somebody and caring for them so deeply that whatever they do makes your heart do…well, that.
Eijirou said that it was longing , not being in love . But Hanta believed that it was both. Love mixed with bitter, painful longing for somebody he could never, ever have.
And how did he know he could never have Denki? Easy. Hitoshi. The one boy Denki has been in love with since their first year and, unfortunately to Hanta, Denki’s now-boyfriend.
Somehow, the pain in Hanta’s heart managed to triple. Denki’s laugh made him want to cry. Mina, Eijirou, and even Katsuki could see the pain settled deep within their friend but realistically…there was only so much advice they could offer because Hanta was not moving on.
He couldn’t move on.
Not when Denki was always with him. Hanging out, studying, or even just in class. He was always there. So often, in fact, that Hitoshi began to intermingle his way into everything the two did together…leaving Hanta the painful third wheel every single time.
“I’m just saying that strawberries are way better than raspberries.” Hanta half heartedly tried to block out Denki’s rambling with his homework, staring down hard at the Science in front of him. He wasn’t necessarily interested in the subject, like, at all; but focusing so hard he gave himself a headache hurt less than hearing Hitoshi and Denki bicker back and forth to each other.
“That’s just…stupid. And you’re wrong.” Hitoshi drawled, popping a raspberry into his mouth. Hanta tried not to roll his eyes at the over-dramatic drawl in Hitoshi’s voice.
Hanta didn’t mean to hate Hitoshi. The boy never gave him a real reason to (besides, y’know, dating the love of his life.) But it’s as if everything he does is enough to make Hanta want to flip a table.
Is this how Katsuki feels every single day? If so, it’s exhausting. Because really; Hanta has never been a hate-filled sort of dude…always aimed to give everybody a chance.
Hell, Hanta even liked Hitoshi before he began dating Denki. But now…?
“Next you’re going to say that bananas aren’t the best fruit.”
“You…think bananas are the best fruit?”
“I don’t think so, I know so.”
Hanta tapped his pencil up and down against his paper rapidly, attempting to settle the pain and anger swelling deep inside of him.
…Because he would never let Denki know how he feels. He would never be able to bring himself to tell Denki that every single time he’s in a room with him, it physically hurts.
Really, Denki’s happiness is Hanta’s number one priority. And, unfortunately, the boy is happy with Hitoshi. Head over heels in love.
Which fucking sucks.
“That’s…gross. You’re gross.”
“No I’m not!” Denki squealed, voice raising a few octaves in a way that Katsuki claimed he ‘ found annoying ’ but in a way Hanta adored. “Sero! Am I gross?”
Hanta closed his eyes, willing away the burning of his heart as he slowly turned in his chair to face Denki and Hitoshi.
The two sat with their shoulders touching, ankles locked together, with a bowl of raspberries on their laps. Their Science books were probably long discarded but Hanta didn’t notice they had even stopped studying. Sure, they were chatting and snacking. But…whatever.
It hurt, really; to see them so comfortable without him.
Or, well, to see Denki so comfortable without him.
“Bananas are good for approximately one day after they’re ripened.” Hanta pointed his pencil at Denki, “They’re like avocados.”
“You both suck!” Denki pouted. Hanta tried to push away the need to kiss it off of his lips. “Bananas are awesome all the time!”
Hitoshi scrunched his nose, “Even when they’re green?”
“ Sometimes. ”
“Ew.”
“You’re judging me and I’m not here for it.”
“Green bananas is pushing it a bit, Kami.” Hanta couldn’t stop the soft smile that pulled at his lips no matter how much he wanted to...because Denki is cute. He could be the worst person in the entire world - a villain, a traitor to their class, literally anything...but he would be able to smile that smile and have Hanta right next to his side. That was concerning.
More than concerning, really, but Hanta tried not to think about how much Denki has him wrapped around his finger.
“Gang up on me why don’t’cha?” Denki whined, head falling back onto his boyfriend’s shoulder. Hanta’s heart squeezed and his stomach churned in that familiar way. Jealousy, probably, but there was another feeling right alongside the regular feeling. Something Hanta couldn’t place. Or maybe he didn’t want to place it. Whichever.
“Sero is just smart, baby.” Hitoshi’s eyes softened from the teasing expression he wore a moment ago to something far, far more in love. Hanta watched them quietly. Maybe he was a masochist, but seeing them cuddled up together...well, yeah, it hurt; but Denki was happy. In the end, that’s all that mattered.
Really.
“Yeah, I’m just smart baby .” Hanta jokingly mocked - because that was him, the jokester alongside Denki. He tried not to think about how nice it actually felt to call Denki ‘baby’ - in a joking matter or not.
Denki blinked a few times. Hanta missed the soft flush that cascaded his cheeks and he also missed the look shared between Denki and Hitoshi because he was turning back to his Science homework.
“Sure.” Denki cleared his throat, sitting up against the wall. “Anyways, can somebody tell me what a Sedimentary Rock is?”
+++
“Do you, like, get off on this or something?”
Hanta jumped, head immediately snapping to where he heard Hagakure’s voice next to him. He couldn’t see her as they were both paired together for training (meaning she was naked, which Hanta tried hard not to think about.)
Having her be everywhere and nowhere at once was always unsettling. People used to call Hitoshi the unsettling one, but Hagakure is literally a ghost. She can make herself appear and disappear by just removing clothes. It’s creepy as all hell.
Apparently she’s observant too. Painfully so.
“W--get off on what?” Hanta’s face turned bright red. He may not know what she’s talking about, but having a girl besides Mina talk so nonchalantly about sex is definitely weird for him.
“Watching Kaminari and Shinsou.” Hagakure responded. Hanta tried to find her on voice alone but had no doubt he wasn’t actually looking at her. “You like them, right? And they’re dating...yet you still hang out with them.”
“I don’t…” Hanta trailed off. He audibly gulped, “I don’t like Kaminari.”
“I didn’t say just Kaminari.” Hagakure responded, “You like the both of them together, right? As a pair? You wanna be a thruple. It’s, like, super obvious.”
Hanta’s eyes widened because - well, no, she got that wrong. Sure, Denki is perfect in more ways than one and sure, he would give up his life just to be able to kiss the boy he calls his best friend once...but Hitoshi?
He’s a cool guy, Hanta’s burning and definitely real hatred for him aside. Sure, a bit mysterious (at least, he was at first before Hanta began hanging out with him more) - but...Hanta couldn’t really see himself dating somebody like Hitoshi. He just isn’t Hanta’s type. He’s too brooding and too serious.
Well…
Once again, Hanta thought that before getting to know him.
In reality, he’s more like Denki and Hanta than Hanta believed at first. He’s quiet, yeah, and can probably read people as if they were open books, but he’s...well, he’s like them. He fit into the Bakusquad as if he had been there the entire time.
But Hanta doesn’t like him.
Not like that.
Not romantically.
As a friend, sure, maybe , but he couldn’t...imagine kissing the dude. Or holding his hand. Or having sex with him, going on dates, adopting one too many cats because both Hitoshi and Denki are insane cat people…
Hanta’s face flushed more. Surely not both of them…
“You’re wrong.”
“Your face tells me otherwise.” Hagakure hummed. Hanta’s eyes removed itself from where he assumed Hagakure was stood and narrowed in on Hitoshi and Denki. The two stood close, whispering strategy on the other side of the field. When Denki raised his head, his eyes met Hanta’s and he enthusiastically waved.
Hitoshi then raised his head, giving Hanta a three-finger wave.
Hanta blushed, looking away rapidly.
That’s...new.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody. I know about a bunch of people’s crushes.” Hagakure hummed, “I’m just nosey. I like to know things. I guess it’s easy, being invisible and all. But if it makes you feel better, I think they like you too.”
Hanta scoffed softly, “Prying into my personal feelings is one thing...but lying? Really?”
“Believe it if you wanna, Sero!” Hanta felt her slap him softly on the back. “But stop ignoring the obvious signs, really.” From afar, a loud buzzer sounded. “Oh! Time to get fighting...but hey, I’m here for somebody to rant to.”
So was Mina, Eijirou, and Katsuki...but Hanta couldn’t help but feel thankful even if she was a little...on the nose all the time. “Thanks, Hagakure.”
“Anytime! Now let’s go!”
+++
Saying that Hanta’s new found discovery was taking a toll on him was putting it lightly.
Hanta having a crush on Denki was one thing. It was pretty easy despite the constant torture it put his heart through because...well, Denki was one person. He was pretty and easily liked by almost everybody who interacted with him and frankly, having a crush on Denki was a pretty goddamn easy thing.
It was like having a crush on Eijirou, Hanta was told. Besides himself, it’s as if everybody in UA had a crush on the Bakusquad’s bundle of sunshine once upon a time. The same goes for Denki. Even if you didn’t like him romantically...part of you probably always thought: ‘what if?’
But Hitoshi?
He was a great dude, no doubt about it. Maybe a little sarcastic at times but Hanta learned how to differentiate it like he had learned to do with Katsuki years ago. Hell, it wasn’t even the fact that he had a crush on Hitoshi despite the fact that he thought he hated him that was getting to him…
It was just...both of them.
Two dudes.
Two dudes who were already dating.
Somehow, the pain managed to triple overnight (all thanks to Hagakure, mind you). He couldn’t stop imagining himself in the middle - or on the side - or just being invited into their relationship one way or another.
The two crept into his dreams, his nightmares, every thought was occupied by the two of them. What they were doing, what they were talking about, if they liked him like Hagakure claimed they did a week ago…
It was painful...like being punched in the gut by Katsuki’s explosions times 5000.
And frankly, Hanta didn’t really know how to handle it.
So he dealt with it like any rational teenager: he started to ignore them.
And sure, it hurt not speaking to the both of them every day. It hurt seeing Denki’s defeated expression when Hanta turned his hangout plans down but at the end of the day what else could Hanta do? Sit there and suffer for the rest of his life?
“I know what you’re doing and it’s hurting all of you.” Hagakure hummed, dealing another round of cards.
Since totally ditching Denki and Hitoshi altogether, Hanta couldn’t really hang out with the rest of the Bakusquad. Unfortunately, Denki was a pretty social creature and wherever Denki was, Hitoshi followed, so if Denki wasn’t with Hanta...he was with one of them.
Leaving Hanta with Hagakure, because he was blaming her for this.
“I’m not doing anything.” Hanta lied, picking up his cards halfheartedly. “Also, mind your own business.”
“Absolutely not. My relationship with Mashirao is super amazing and super healthy - no drama, thank you very much - so I have to get my source of entertainment somewhere...don’t look at me with that disapproving look of yours. Plus, I want to help! Genuinely!”
“Is that so? ‘Cause the only reason I even like Shinsou now is because you planted the seed into my brain-,”
“I just triggered the reaction. Your feelings were always there.” Hagakure dismissed. “Their’s, too-,”
“I get your sentiment Haga, but they don’t like me. You don’t know them like I do-,”
“Maybe not, but I’m a fly on the wall.” Hagakure placed the rest of the cards in the middle of her deck. “Do you have a 4?”
“Go Fish - that’s unsettling, you know.”
“The fly on the wall thing? I guess. But it’s their fault they don’t see me.”
“So you don’t hang around naked? Do you have an 8?”
Hagakure passed Hanta an 8, “No I do not! I’m not a pervert. I’m just easy to overlook, s’all. Sometimes I go to get water and I overhear things. Speaking of, did you know that Yaomomo and Jirou are...like, a thing? And do you have a 10?”
Hanta passed her a 10, “Yes, I did. I think everybody and their dog knows that. Do you have a 1?”
“Go Fish. I guess you’re right. But needless to say, they care about you a lot. They’re like lost dogs right now, Sero. You have to be open about your feelings or you could risk losing them altogether and I know you don’t want that.”
Sero stared at the table, the gears turning rapidly in his head. That’s true. It hurts being around them; but they’re the two best things to ever happen to him really. They make him happy, even past all the pain he feels looking at them.
“I’ll completely lose them if I tell them.”
“Even if they don’t like you, they’re pretty shitty if they’ll cast you out like that.”
“They wouldn’t. It’d just be...awkward.”
“A few months of awkwardness as opposed to a lifetime without them.” Hanta felt Hagakure place a hand on top of his own. “You know what’s right. You have to do it.”
“You know, if this whole Hero thing doesn’t work out, I think you should be a Love Guru.”
“I already am, sunshine. Please go tell them. I beg of you.”
Hanta placed his cards down. “...Okay. Fine.”
Hanta couldn’t see Hagakure’s face, but he could hear her smile as clear as day. “I believe in you.”
+++
“It’s fine. It’s just a door, Hanta. You raise your hand and you knock on it.”
Hanta stared straight across the hall at Denki’s door. Inside of it he could hear Hitoshi and Denki talking to each other in way-too-loud voices, a video playing in the background that the two definitely weren’t watching.
Hanta couldn’t pick out what they were saying and he didn’t necessarily want to eavesdrop either, so he opted to quietly pep-talking himself which...y’know, wasn’t necessarily working in his favour.
“Who am I kidding? I’m not scared of knocking on the door. It's afterwards I’m anticipating.” Hanta bit down on his nail, pulling it off with his teeth before lowering his hand with a groan. “This is stupid. Hagakure is wrong, I’m stupid, and this is-,”
Before Hanta could finish his sentence, Denki’s door was being thrown open.
Every single part of Hanta wished that he had Tenya’s quirk instead of his own.
Hitoshi stared across at Hanta. He blinked slowly like a cat, “Sero?”
“Sero?” Denki echoed. His cute, hopeful voice made Hanta’s heart clench. The way that Hitoshi stared into Hanta’s soul did similarly.
“Yes. He’s staring at your door.” Hitoshi leaned against the doorframe. Hanta allowed himself, just this one last time, to admire Hitoshi’s everything.
It’s a bit ridiculous how he didn’t really...realize his attraction to Hitoshi. He had a build somewhere between Katsuki’s and Eijiriou’s - bigger than both Hanta and Denki in muscle mass (since he isn’t a lazy motherfucker) but shorter than Hanta in height.
Realistically, it would be pretty easy to kiss his forehead and cradle him close to his chest. He usually prides himself on being the big spoon, but Hanta walked in once or twice on Denki spooning him instead.
It did look a bit silly, though, since Denki is so tiny...making Hanta once again think: they need their last puzzle piece.
“Staring at my door?” Denki peeked around from where he sat on his bed. He pouted cutely, “You’ve been ignoring me for a week ‘n now you’re best friends with my door instead of me? C’mon, Sero! Really?”
His whine was cute.
Everything about him was cute.
Holy shit, how can he do this?
Surely he wouldn’t be able to live through the heartbreak that will ensue, right?
“Yeah, Sero, really?” Hitoshi’s eyebrows furrowed in the same way Hanta recognized as ‘Protective Boyfriend’ - the same way they narrowed at Tokoyami when he accidentally made Dark Shadow hit Denki too hard. Needless to say, it’s a terrifying look. “You ignore us for a week, make Denki cry, and then...what? Pretend like you’re going to knock?”
Hanta frowned deeply, “I made Kami cry?”
“That’s...not the point!” Denki squeaked. He stood up from his bed, nearly tripping over his own feet before catching himself. He then rushed towards the door, standing beside Hitoshi...the most attractive couple, hands down. A couple that, more than anything, Hanta craved to be a part of. “What happened, man? Where’d you rush off to? It’s...it’s like you did a complete 360 on us!”
“180.” Hitoshi mumbled softly.
“Huh?”
“It’s a 180, babe. But he’s right: what the fuck happened?”
Hanta bit down on his bottom lip and jumped on the heels of his feet. It’s now or never, right? “I have a valid excuse...can I, uh, come in?”
“You sure you don’t wanna tell the door?”
“‘Toshi.”
“Sorry.” Denki and Hitoshi stood off to the side like bodyguards, allowing for Hanta to squeeze through them. Hitoshi shut the door and stood in front of it, arms crossed. Denki just stood idly, playing with his fingers as he moved back and forth from foot to foot.
“So what happened?” Denki frowned, “Did somebody in your family get hurt? Get sick? Die? You know you don’t have to bottle that stuff up, right? We’re your friends.”
That’s the worst part. “No, nothing like that...just…”
“Take your time.” Hitoshi mumbled and despite the clear annoyance on his face, the support and softness in his voice made Hanta have hope, at least momentarily.
“Thank you…” Hanta sat on Denki’s bed, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. “You know when Hagakure and I were paired together during training last week?”
“Mhm.” Denki hummed. “Pretty weird pairing! I don’t know her that well, though, maybe it made sense…” He tapped his finger against his chin and then shrugged. “But why? What happened?”
“She kind of…like, got in my head about something—,”
“Was it bad?” Hitoshi cut him off, “Was she mean to you?”
“You sound like a mom, ‘Toshi.” Denki giggled, nose scrunching fondly. Hanta’s heart yearned. Denki turned to Hanta, “But…was she? I didn’t take Hagakure as a mean girl but—,”
“No. Not mean.” Hanta assured, “She was great to me this week. She just said some stuff…”
“You’re being vague.” Denki blinked, eyes big and doe-filled. It showed he was listening.
“I know. Sorry. Just…it’s hard to say.”
“Just take a deep breath and let it out!” Denki beamed.
Cute.
Hanta felt sick.
He nodded slowly. “Okay…” here goes nothing. “She said that it seemed like I had a crush on you - like, both of you - and I thought she was being crazy because no way did I…but after she told me it was like…it was like something clicked inside of me and I was like: ‘oh, holy shit’. Because I’ve had a crush on Kaminari for forever , like first year forever, but always assumed seeing you and Shinsou together was jealousy. But it wasn’t. I think…I just wanted to be a part of it. And I know it’s crazy and you don’t have to feel bad or sympathetic for me. You two have each other, that’s fine , but I’d rather things be awkward than lose the both of you because I’m too stupid to say how I feel so…there.”
Hanta took a deep breath, eyes staring straight at the ground at his feet - anywhere besides Hitoshi and Denki.
The room fell quiet. Too quiet. Even the YouTube video that was playing previously stopped and of course Denki was adamantly against auto-play.
“Holy shit. Say something, I feel like I’m suffocating.” Hanta begged.
“You’ve liked me since our first year?”
“Really, Denki? We find out our crush likes us and that’s what you say?”
“Well, yeah; cause that means he’s liked me longer so I win.”
“There wasn’t…a competition, idiot.”
“Not a verbal one. But I won.”
“Wait,” Hanta raised a hand and then his head. His eyes connected with Hitoshi’s first, then Denki’s. Both were sparkling like they’d just won a million dollars. “ Your crush?”
“You’re so oblivious, Ser-ooooh.” Denki cooed, hands clasped in front of his chest. He giggled in delight. “We’ve liked you for so long. Oh, gosh, for like…6 months.”
“Six…?”
“Mhm. ‘Toshi told me first. He was super embarrassed about it too. But I was like oh my God, so do I! ‘Cause how couldn’t we like you?”
Hitoshi turned red - a colour Hanta could confidently say he had never seen Hitoshi turn. But there he was, bright red because…he's liked Hanta for months. Months.
“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Hanta exclaimed. Denki cackled, throwing his head back. “Holy shit! I was suffering!”
“We could say the same for you, dickhead!” Denki squeaked, “You ignored me for a week! You know I’m sensitive!”
“I wouldn’t have ignored you if you told me—,”
“Are you two fighting or flirting right now? I genuinely can’t tell.” Hitoshi deadpanned, eyes flicking from Denki to Hanta and back again.
“Yes.” Denki said firmly. Hanta snorted.
Then things fell quiet again. Not tense, but it felt…lighter, in a way.
“So what now?” Hanta finally asked softly. Timidly.
“Ah.” Denki bit his lip. He looked over and up at Hitoshi, “Can I kiss him?”
“I’m not the one you should be asking.”
“Well, you’re my boyfriend—,”
“I know that but you’ve talked about kissing him 1000 times and I’ve always been fine with it so why would this be different?”
“Dunno. Sero~?”
Hanta felt like he was short circuiting. Seriously. Every piece of his brain that conveyed any single thought turned off. “Huh?”
“Can I kiss you? Pleaseee ?”
Holy shit.
Holy shit. This is a dream, surely none of this is real.
Hanta nodded dumbly.
That was all Denki needed because he was plopping himself on Hanta’s lap and kissing him as if his life depended on it.
And yeah, Hanta has kissed people before. But nothing and nobody compared to Denki. A kiss he’s been dreaming of since he met him.
After the shock wore off, Hanta was kissing back, placing his hands around Denki‘s waist and squeezing. He snorted.
Denki pulled away with a frown, “What!?”
“Nothing. You’re tiny.” Hanta breathed. If it were any normal situation, maybe this would be awkward. Embarrassing. But dammit, Denki is his best friend. Hitoshi too.
“I’m not tiny! Dickhead!”
“You are pretty tiny.” Hitoshi hummed.
“ Wow .” Denki huffed. “I’m breaking up with the both of you.”
Hanta blinked, “We’re dating?”
“Mhm.” Denki raised an eyebrow. “Obviously. Right ‘Toshi?”
“Usually you ask first, Kitten.”
Kitten. Huh. Hanta never heard that one before.
“Oooh. Yeah. I want you two to kiss first though. For science.”
“Science.” Hanta breathed.
Denki nodded firmly, sliding off of Hanta’s lap and onto the bed. Hitoshi rolled his eyes, sitting beside Hanta.
Hanta stared over at Hitoshi, a blush rising to his cheeks. “Sorry for only finding out that I liked you last week.”
“As long as you figured it out, I can live with it.”
Then they were kissing. Hanta wasn’t even sure who moved in first - but it didn’t matter.
Denki whooped from the background, causing the two to smile against each other’s lips. Hanta cupped Hitoshi’s face in his hands. The kiss felt like a mixture of hours and seconds at the same time somehow.
“That was hot.” Denki declared as soon as the two pulled apart, breathing hard and staring at each other. “Will you date us now, Sero-kun?”
“Sero-kun?” Hanta laughed, “When was that a thing?”
“I’unno. Do you prefer Hanta?”
Hanta’s heart clenched but it didn’t hurt this time. It felt impossibly full, as if it were on the brink of bursting, but it didn’t hurt. Not at all.
A face splitting smile overtook Hanta’s face. He couldn’t hide it - didn’t want to hide it. “A lot more, yeah.”
“Then date us, Hanta! Please?”
“Obviously, idiot.” Hanta breathed. Denki and Hitoshi’s smile made all the pain and suffering worth it. “And to think this could’ve all been avoided if you two told me 6 months ag—,”
“No blaming!” Denki squealed. He launched over, pressing a strong kiss to Hanta’s lips, then one to Hitoshi’s. “Now we can all make out without a third wheel.”
“I’m glad that’s what you’re thinking about, love.” Hitoshi smiled softly. Fondly.
Hanta’s heart raced.
This? This he can get used to.
END