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“I bet it’s Akaashi-senpai,” Hinata chirps from next to Kuroo.
The random statement confuses Kuroo, but only for a moment as he follows the redhead’s gaze across the library to where Akaashi is studying with someone very familiar.
“Oh, hey! I didn’t notice Tsukki was in here! Should we join them?”
“No!” Hinata blurts. “I mean, uh, no. Tsukishima gets... annoyed when I study near him if I’m going to talk a lot and... since I need to talk to you to finish this…”
The explanation seems a little hasty and forced but, other than a raise of his eyebrow, Kuroo lets it go. “Whatever you say,” he says with an easy chuckle.
“But yeah. It could totally be Akaashi, right?” Hinata asks again.
“That he’s sitting with?” Kuroo asks with a frown. “Yeah, it-”
“No,” Hinata cuts him off. “The person he’s dating. It’s totally Akaashi-senpai. Right?”
Kuroo’s eyes widen in surprise. “Dating?” he repeats incredulously. “I didn’t know he was dating someone...” He turns to look back at the blond. “How did I miss that…?”
“Yeah, Sugawara-senpai says Tsukishima is dating someone and it’s super obvious who it is,” Hinata rambles on. Kuroo’s a little lost in thought so he’s not quite listening. Until the whole of what Hinata is implying catches up to him, that is.
“And you think it’s Akaashi?” Kuroo startles a little. Tsukki and Akaashi? Dating? Each other ?
“Well it makes sense, doesn’t it? They’re together a lot. They get along really well. They’re both serious and smart. And look!” Hinata points toward the duo. “Akaashi-senpai keeps talking to him while they study and Tsukishima doesn’t look even a little annoyed! Plus, I swear I’ve heard them call each other by their given names.”
“I suppose the two of them together would make sense,” Kuroo mutters, still frowning.
It does make sense, if he stops to think about it. He’s always found the two of them really chummy and they’re so similar that the pair had hit it off right away when the lot of them had first met. There’s something about the whole thing that doesn’t sit well with him, though.
“I know they both like each other enough,” he finds himself saying. And it’s true. Hell, he and Bokuto have frequently made jokes about the two of them being a match made-in-heaven whenever the duo responds to their antics with matching deadpans. He’s also aware that both of them fall somewhere on the spectrum of ‘can be romantically interested in boys’. For all that, he’s never seriously considered that the two of them might be a couple. But now… “I just… They never said anything?”
Objectively, it should be a good thing if his two friends are dating. They suit each other and they’re both good guys, so they’d be lucky to be with each other. All things considered, he should be happy for them.
“So I’m probably right then,” Hinata says, seeming satisfied.
The thing is… Well, he’s not happy. He’s not exactly mad at them either, or anything like that. You can’t be mad because your friends are happy together, right?
But he is annoyed, for some reason. Actually, you know what? Maybe he is a little mad. Not that they’re together or happy. Never that. But… Why wouldn’t they tell him about it if they were?
Then again, maybe he’s being ridiculous. Hinata said he was guessing. Sugawara isn’t the type to lie so, if he says Tsukishima is dating someone, that part is probably true. But that doesn’t mean it’s Akaashi. And maybe Tsukishima just hasn’t told him yet because it’s brand new and hasn’t gotten serious. So maybe there’s nothing to be annoyed at in the first—
He shoots another look at them.
Akaashi nudges Tsukishima and shoots a look toward a couple a few feet away from them. The brunet smirks as he watches the blond tune into the conversation the two are having. Then Tsukki is the one smirking, snickering as he leans in to whisper—
Kuroo tears his attention away. On second thought, Hinata may be on to something. And it bugs him. They’re keeping secrets from him! He thought he was a better friend to them than that. Especially to Tsukki.
Hinata interrupts his thoughts, turning back to his homework. “Anyway, about this problem-”
But Kuroo cuts him off.
“Actually, I-,” he clears his throat. “I’m really sorry, Shorty, but I just remembered. I have an assignment due tomorrow that I forgot about and I have to run.” It’s a lie but, suddenly, he doesn’t really feel up to tutoring. More like, he doesn’t think he can concentrate well enough to do it. Or to avoid giving away his newly acquired unease.
“Okay?”
“Um… I’m really sorry,” Kuroo repeats, gathering his computer and his books and shoving them in his bag in a hurry. “If you need help, you can email me and I’ll try to answer. Or, uh… Oh yeah, you know Akaashi is actually really good at math. He’s better than me, really.” Tsukishima certainly seems to think so. “You may as well go over and see if he’ll help you. He probably will.”
“Uh, sure,” Hinata says. “Thanks for your help with the rest, though. We got through most of it and you’re really good at teaching.”
“Anytime, Shorty,” Kuroo says with a smile. “Just not, uh… now. See ya around.”
And then he’s racing out of there before anyone can notice he’s upset.
Thing is, he’s not just mad. Somehow, he’s kinda sad, too. A little, anyway. But that doesn’t really make any sense, so he puts a pin in that.
—
Over the next few days, Kuroo was definitely not avoiding Akaashi. Or Tsukishima. Or Bokuto.
Proof: He’d voluntarily brought Tsukishima that book the blond had wanted!
Nevermind that he’d (purposely) timed things so he couldn’t stay more than a couple of minutes.
Nevermind that the blond had seemed to notice something was up anyway.
Nevermind that he’d been super grateful when Tsukishima had preferred to lecture him about falling asleep on his couch rather than prod him about what else was up.
Especially nevermind that, in the first place, it had taken him an ungodly amount of pacing and muttering to decide that, no, he would not deprive an underclassman of a good resource for his paper just because he was feeling a little awkward about facing him. And a whole lot more pacing to decide that getting Tsukishima the book through an intermediary was not an option because the blond might realize something was up. (But also, what if he had additional questions about the book? Kuroo was the one who’d read the damn thing and he didn’t like the idea of Tsukishima being left in the lurch just because he was a coward.) (Which he’s not.) (Obviously.) (Cause he’s not even avoiding him in the first place.)
So there. It’s definitive. He’s not avoiding them.
The fact that, when Akaashi had forgotten his spare charger in his apartment, Kuroo had made sure happened to be at school when the brunet came to pick it up? Well, that’s because he’d had a lot of quizzes to grade and, responsible TA that he was, he was trying to get ahead on his workload. Besides, he, Akaashi, Bokuto, and Tsukishima all had each other’s door codes since they all lived in the same building and it was just more convenient that way. So why did he have to be around, anyways?
And the fact that all the messages he’d received from Bokuto that week were still unread? Well… they all happened to arrive at inconvenient times and he’d forgotten to check them afterward. Or his phone had died, maybe? Whatever. It had nothing to do with how talking to Bokuto inevitably led to talking about Akaashi. Or that, for all that the spiky-haired spiker seemed a little oblivious, he could actually be quite observant given a chance.
So yeah, Kuroo wasn’t avoiding them.
And yet, he probably should have been expecting this.
He’s just let himself into his apartment when someone stomps toward him from the kitchen.
“Bro!” Bokuto does not look pleased. “What the fuck?”
Kuroo shoots a glance at the unusual number of shoes in his entryway. Then toward his couch and the TV that appears to be playing a documentary about an obscure Japanese novelist. Yup. There’s also a brunet glaring at him over there.
“Dude, that’s my line,” he shoots back at Bokuto. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Waiting to ambush you, that’s what,” Bokuto answers.
“Why?” Kuroo asks, wincing even as he does so. He knows why. He’s just given them the perfect opening. Isn’t he supposed to be smart?
“You know why,” Akaashi sneers. He pauses his documentary and, Kuroo notes, there are only a few minutes left until the end. They must have been waiting here for a while.
“Dude, you never ignore my messages like that,” Bokuto screeches. “I was worried about you! I thought you might have died!”
“You don’t want to know how many insane theories about alien abductions I’ve had to endure,” Akaashi adds. “Whatever is wrong with you, it had better have been worth it.”
“I was busy,” Kuroo mumbles, spending way more time than he needs to as he sets his book bag at his desk, his focus entirely on making sure he has it leaning at the exact right angle — anything to avoid the murder glares being aimed at him.
“I don’t buy it,” Bokuto says. “Do you buy it?” He turns the question to Akaashi.
“Not for a second,” Akaashi answers. “It’s just been, what, a week that you’ve been avoiding us? I might have been inclined to believe you were just ‘busy’ but even Kei says you’re barely answering his texts.” Kuroo winces at the casual way the name rolls off Akaashi’s tongue. It’s too much to hope they didn’t notice.
Luckily, Bokuto misinterprets the wince. “Aha! So you are avoiding us,” he yells, finger flying out to point in Kuroo’s face, only narrowly avoiding taking his eye out in the process. “Are you mad at us? What did I do?”
Akaashi’s eyes narrow a little too knowingly and Kuroo looks away quickly. Whether Akaashi has noticed what actually caused the flinch or not, though, it doesn’t really matter. With the two of them here, it’s only a matter of time until they figure out exactly what’s bothering him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to try his darndest to throw them off the scent and delay the inevitable.
Thing is, he had wanted to get over his annoyance before he had to face them. He’s rational enough to realize, even if they should know they can tell him anything, there are plenty of perfectly valid reasons for the apparent couple to have kept their affair a secret. It’s not really his business, after all. And he wants to be happy for them. He does. Seriously. It’s just… he’s not quite there yet.
“Not mad at you,” he mumbles toward Bokuto, who hasn’t let up and is practically wailing now. “I’ve just been a little preoccupied. And, right now? I’m hungry. So can we just…”
“Ah, sure bro,” Bokuto says, calming down at the assurance that Kuroo isn’t mad. “We got take-out for all of us. It got here just before you did.”
The two of them move toward his kitchen and Akaashi, after aiming another suspicious frown at him, unpauses his documentary with a shrug. When he enters the kitchen, he finds a ridiculous number of take-out cartons crowding the counter — Bokuto has never been known to order food in small quantities, so he isn’t all that surprised. Nor is he surprised when Bokuto hands him a plate before starting to load up two plates, one for himself and one for Akaashi.
“Akaashi said to make sure we leave some dumplings,” Bokuto says off-handed as he works. “He made me order double just in case but, if Tsukki gets here and finds we ate them all, he’s going to be pissed.”
Kuroo grits his teeth in annoyance. He’s not sure whether he’s annoyed at Bokuto for thinking he needed a reminder that Tsukki likes dumplings or at hearing about Akaashi being thoughtful about the blond’s preferences but, either way, he’s not going to think about it too much. Instead, he focuses on what’s more pertinent.
“Tsukki is coming, too?” He hopes his voice doesn’t betray his dread. Facing Akaashi is one thing. Facing the two of them together…
Thankfully Bokuto is distracted, moaning in delight around the eggroll he’s just eaten in one bite. “Maybe,” he answers, his mouth still full. “He was doing something with Freckles, I think. He said he might stop by later if he gets in early enough.”
Okay. This is okay. He’s got some time before Tsukishima shows up. If he can figure out how to act like a normal human being with Akaashi during that time, he should make it through the evening.
“Are you angry at the chicken? Or…”
He looks up from where he is stabbing into a container a little more violently than required to find Akaashi has joined them in the kitchen. The documentary must be done. The brunet is standing by an open drawer, pausing in the act of taking out an assortment of cutlery to frown at Kuroo.
Kuroo just grunts and turns his attention back to grabbing food.
By the time the three of them are settled in front of his TV — and no, it’s not noteworthy that Kuroo has chosen a seat as far away from Akaashi as physically possible — Kuroo starts to realize that acting normal is going to be a little harder than he thought.
“What are you so stressed about, anyway?” Akaashi asks.
“Yeah, seriously dude,” Bokuto adds with a frown. “I thought you said your workload was totally manageable?”
“It is,” Kuroo says. “I’ve just… There’s been a lot on my mind, I guess.”
And the pattern continues.
Akaashi asks a question. Bokuto asks a question. Kuroo answers vaguely, mainly aiming his responses to Bokuto.
Akaashi picks up on it pretty quickly and Bokuto’s not far behind. All evening, Kuroo hasn’t answered any of Akaashi’s questions. Not directly. Barely at all. And that’s only because Bokuto tends to ask the same questions with different words.
“Okay,” Akaashi says at last, putting down his empty plate in favour of crossing his arms and aiming a deadly look at Kuroo. “It’s not Kou you’re avoiding. It’s just me. What gives?” Bokuto opens his mouth, probably to second the thought, but Akaashi puts up a hand to stall him. “No, don’t say anything. He’s going to answer, and answer me, whether he likes it or not.”
“I’m not avoiding you,” he says. And maybe that would have been more convincing if it hadn’t come out hissed between his teeth.
“Bullshit.”
“I’m not!”
Akaashi doesn’t back down, he just narrows his eyes further.
“Look, it’s-” Kuroo interrupts himself with a growl, taking a moment to pick the right words. “Someone said something to me about you earlier this week. It’s nothing bad and I’m not weirded out by it or anything. It’s just taking me some time for me to wrap my head around it.”
“Whatever they said, clearly you are weirded out,” Akaashi says calmly. “You can’t even look me in the eye.”
“I’m not weirded out, I swear.” Akaashi scoffs and Kuroo makes an effort to actually look Akaashi in the eye. “I’m not,” he repeats. “Okay? It’s just, if I talk to you, then I have to think about it and I don’t really want to think about it, so-” He stops talking. That was a little more honest then he’d meant to be. “What I mean is, if you wanted me to know, you would have told me yourself. So maybe I’m just feeling a little guilty about the whole thing.”
There’s a moment of quiet where Bokuto looks like he’s dying to say something but is making a valiant effort to restrain himself.
“Maybe you should just tell me what it is you were told,” Akaashi says after a moment.
“It’s not a big deal,” Kuroo says with an awkward chuckle. “Like I said, it’s nothing bad. There’s really no reason to-”
“Kuroo,” Akaashi cuts him off. “It’s not like you dance around something like this. This is clearly bugging you, so let’s talk about it.”
“It’s fine,” Kuroo says. “You’ll tell me yourself when-”
“Look,” Akaashi interrupts again. “I can’t think of a single thing about myself I wouldn’t be willing to talk to you about. Not if it’s bothering you this much. Besides, if someone is spreading rumours about me, I want to know what they are. So what the hell were you told?”
Kuroo swallows. Then resigns himself. There’s nothing he can say here that will cause both Bokuto — who is still, admirably, remaining quiet — and Akaashi to leave this alone.
“Is it true you’re dating Tsukki?” he asks in a rush.
Akaashi blinks. And blinks again.
“You’ve been talking to Hinata,” he says.
“Maybe.”
Akaashi rolls his eyes. “No. Kei and I are not dating. We’re friends. That’s all.” He mutters something else that sounds a lot like ‘I can’t believe I’m having this conversation again.’
Kuroo’s brain struggles to process that. Has he really been angsting a whole week over nothing?
“Are you sure?” he asks without thinking.
This is Bokuto’s breaking point.
“Of course he’s sure,” the spiker bursts out. “This is what’s been bugging you? Oh man. I coulda told you they weren’t dating ages ago. Besides, you should know Akaashi would never do that to you, bro!”
Kuroo startles. “What?” There’s a lot in that last sentence that Kuroo’s not quite sure what to make of.
Akaashi shoots a look at Bokuto, who just waves it off with a laugh. “Nevermind, nevermind,” he continues, nonplussed. “Now that that’s dealt with, time for me to whoop both your asses at Mario Kart!” With that, he busies himself setting up the game console.
Kuroo sits there with a small frown, still processing. Akaashi watches him.
“Look,” Akaashi says after a moment, softly enough not to draw Bokuto’s attention and rile him up again. “I like Kei. And the idea that he and I would make a good couple? Maybe it’s not completely crazy.” Kuroo can’t help but wince and it makes Akaashi chuckle. “Except,” he continues, “as it happens, there is someone I’m into right now, and it’s definitely not Kei.”
Kuroo quirks an eyebrow. “Who is it?” he asks, instantly relaxing as his curiosity takes over.
“Uh, it’s not that I mind you knowing, but maybe this isn’t the time to get into that,” Akaashi mumbles and it’s his turn to avoid Kuroo’s eyes.
Now that Kuroo isn’t actively ignoring the brunet, his observational skills are working properly again and he doesn’t need Akaashi to say anything else. “Ah. It’s complicated, huh?” he asks with a wink. Akaashi scowls. “Well, if ever you do want to talk about it, you know where to find me.”
He raises an eyebrow and waits to see if Akaashi wants to add anything else.
“Yeah,” is all he says.
Then Bokuto is back, throwing controllers at them and yelling up a storm.
Some time between the third and fourth race, Tsukishima lets himself into the apartment and disappears into the kitchen without greeting any of them. He reappears with a plate of food and joins them in front of the TV, settling in on the couch, next to Akaashi and directly behind where Kuroo is sitting on the floor. Kuroo is happy to note he’s not at all bothered by how close together the two are sitting. Though it probably helps that, rather than cuddling up to Akaashi, Tsukki is taking advantage of his position to prod Kuroo with his foot in an effort to distract him any time he starts to gain headway in the game.
It’s a long while, and many races, later when Bokuto abruptly announces it’s time for him to leave and the other two take this as their cue to leave as well.
Akaashi lingers, though, waiting a few moments as the sound of Bokuto’s victorious rant and Tsukishima’s irate reminders that it’s late and Bokuto should ‘Shut the hell up’ fade. Then Akaashi turns to Kuroo.
“We’re good now, right?” he checks.
“Yeah.”
Akaashi nods and moves into the hall, then pauses again. He looks back at Kuroo thoughtfully for a moment before deciding to add more. “Maybe you should think about why the idea of Kei and I together bothered you so much,” he says.
Kuroo frowns. “I told you, I felt guilty that you guys weren’t the ones who told me,” he says. “Also, I didn’t like the idea of you feeling like it needed to be a secret.”
Akaashi considers that for a moment. “I’m sure that’s part of the reason,” he says. “But does that explain why you were so relieved to hear I was into someone else?”
No. It doesn’t. Not really. It also doesn’t explain why, despite the fact he’d been avoiding all three of them, the only one he’d been angry at was Akaashi. Hell, he hadn’t even realized he was angry at the brunet until the anger had lifted.
“That’s what I thought,” Akaashi says with a little hum. “‘Night, Kuroo.”
Then Akaashi is gone, and Kuroo is left staring at the door.
Because, though he’s not sure how exactly, Akaashi’s parting words have reminded him of something important he’d forgotten in the wake of his relief. Sure, over the course of the evening, he’s managed to confirm that Akaashi and Tsukishima aren’t dating. Whatever peace of mind he’s gained from the knowledge, however, vanishes in an instant as he remembers the details of his conversation with Hinata that day in the library. The part about Tsukishima dating Akaashi? That had been a guess. But the underlying fact that had prompted the guess still remains.
Tsukishima is dating someone.
Tsukishima is dating someone and Kuroo does not like the thought of it one bit.
—
He tries not to let it bother him. But it does. And it also bothers him that he’s bothered about it in the first place.
He doesn’t get it.
This isn’t the first time a friend has started dating someone without telling him about it right away. Even a really close friend. Nor is it the first time he’s found out about a friend’s love life from someone else.
This isn’t at all the same as when he’d thought it was Akaashi. Then, it had made sense for him to be bothered. Then, it had been a secret about two people he spent time with regularly, all of them together. So, when it was Akaashi, the fact that he hadn’t known had made it feel as though his friends were deliberately being secretive.
Now that it’s not Akaashi? Well, he and Tsukki talk to each other so much that it’s maybe a little surprising that it hasn’t come up, but it shouldn’t bother him. Not this much, anyway.
He thinks, probably, it’s because Tsukki counts among those people most important to him and, as his senpai, he’s just being a little protective. He doesn’t want Tsukki getting hurt and he doesn’t like not knowing whether this mysterious person is good enough for his friend. That’s the best he can come up with.
So, rather than dwelling on why he’s upset or whether it’s normal for him to be this upset, he focuses on trying to puzzle out who this mysterious person might be. According to Hinata, Sugawara had said it was obvious, right? So, he should be able to figure this out.
Then again, maybe that didn’t mean much. Maybe it was ‘obvious’ in the sense that Tsukishima had gone to some party with a stranger and, from their behaviour, it was obvious what kind of relationship they had. He hasn’t seen Tsukishima hanging out with anyone new lately but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone. After all, while he does see a lot of Tsukishima, it’s most often late in the evening and in the privacy of his own apartment, once they’re both finished with classes and their part-time jobs. Sure, it’s practically a nightly occurrence for the blond to show up in his apartment unannounced to steal some dinner, or watch Netflix with him, or read, or finish a paper in quiet company but, frequency aside, those aren’t exactly the type of events he’d be bringing his new boyfriend to, so maybe Kuroo doesn’t have much to go on after all.
He thinks about asking Akaashi about it. If any one of their close mutual friends is going to know who it is Tsukishima is dating, it’s going to be Akaashi. Weirdly though, the fact that Akaashi probably would know makes him not want to ask after all. Probably because he’s a little competitive and he doesn’t like the idea of Akaashi knowing something about the blond that he doesn’t know, too. Secretly, he likes to think he’s closer to Tsukki than Akaashi is, and he’s not in a hurry to try and disprove the fact.
He’s deep in thought mulling all this over. Which is why he’s forgotten that Kenma is sitting next to him and he practically falls off the bed in surprise when his friend lets out a quiet, “You’re being weird,” without ever looking away from his handheld game console.
“How am I being weird?” Kuroo asks with a frown.
It’s a fair question. What they’re doing right now, sitting next to each other with Kenma playing a game while he studies, is par for the course. There isn’t anything weird about it.
Kenma shoots him a two-second glance before turning back to his game. To anyone else, it would have seemed disinterested. He knows, though, what Kenma means by it. It means that Kenma knows he’s being weird the same way Kuroo knows what the glance meant. ‘How’ is irrelevant. What Kenma wants to know is ‘why’.
“You don’t happen to know who Tsukishima is dating, do you?” he asks with a shrug, trying to seem nonchalant. “I’ve been trying to figure it out.”
He expects that Kenma will shoot him another glance, this time disinterested for real. Kenma can be surprisingly talkative about the right topics and with the right people. The word ‘dating’, though, is usually a surefire way to make him lose interest in a conversation, even when it’s with Kuroo.
Instead of the expected glance, Kenma pauses his game and turns to watch Kuroo in careful consideration for a solid minute. “I didn’t know he was dating anyone.”
The response seems measured. Almost like he’s expecting a particular response or reaction. What reaction, though, Kuroo has no idea.
“Yeah,” Kuroo says, clearing his throat. “Apparently he is.”
Kenma keeps watching him quietly.
“If you want to know who it is, you should just ask him,” he says at length. He watches Kuroo another couple seconds. Then he unpauses his game.
—
Why he’s not asking Tsukki directly is certainly a good question. Yet another question he doesn’t have an answer to.
He’s sensing he’s going to have to do it soon, regardless. Tsukishima has definitely noticed that something is up with him and, mercifully, he’s been letting it go so far. There’s no way that’s going to last indefinitely though.
As he walks toward the office he shares with a handful of other TAs, he’s lost in thought, mildly cursing Hinata for bringing all of this to his attention. Then, as if summoned, the red-head barrels down the hallway from behind him and crashes into his back.
“Sorry, sorry!” Hinata is saying as he starts to pick himself up from the floor.
“Slow down, Shrimp,” he chuckles, extending a hand to help him up. “You’re lucky it was just me and not one of your professors.”
“Kuroo-senpai,” Hinata says with a huge grin when he recognizes him. “You’re right. I’ll be more careful.”
“Where are you heading in such a hurry, anyway?” Kuroo asks as the two start moving down the hall again.
“To the gym. Kageyama said he’d meet me there to practice.”
They make idle conversation for a while, until it occurs to Kuroo that Hinata has been working on the same puzzle he has. If the red-head has managed to rule out Akaashi too, then maybe he has an update for him that will solve his problems.
“Hey, did you ever figure out who Tsukki was dating?”
Hinata’s smile goes impossibly wide. “Ages ago,” he answers. Then, before Kuroo can ask, he’s adding: “Ah, but I’m not supposed to say who it is.”
“That’s all I get?” Kuroo says with a chuckle, trying to play it off as a joke. “At least tell me when they met or something.”
“When they met? Forever ago,” Hinata says. He looks like he’s gonna add more but his phone starts to ring. “Sorry, I’ve got to get this,” he says quickly before picking up.
‘Where are you, moron? Do you want to practice or not? I’m not waiting forever, you know?’ Kuroo recognizes the voice yelling out from Hinata’s phone as Kageyama’s.
Then Hinata is apologizing profusely, to both Kageyama and Kuroo, as he starts running again toward the gym.
—
Kuroo doesn’t have that many hints.
They’ve known each other forever. It’s obvious. It’s not Akaashi.
Yet, somehow, it seems like that should be enough for him to figure this out.
“How much pepper did you put in this?” Tsukishima asks, wrinkling his nose as he eats a spoonful of the stew Kuroo has just handed him. Kuroo knows the nose wrinkle is more for show than anything else.
“Shut up and be grateful I’m cooking for you, brat,” he says, swatting the blond lightly on the back of the head as he makes his way to his own seat.
“Where’s Akaashi when you need him,” Tsukishima teases with a chuckle. “At least he can cook.”
“Hey, there’s tons of stuff I can do that Akaashi can’t, okay?” Kuroo says. Hopefully, if there was any kind of edge in his tone, it wasn’t audible. He may be over the whole ‘Akaashi is dating Tsukki’ scare but he’s still not crazy about hearing that kind of talk from the blond.
“Is there, now?” Tsukishima says around another spoonful, his trademark smirk making an appearance. “You’ll have to show me sometime.”
It’s downright flirtatious. But it doesn’t mean anything. Tsukki is always like this with him. It’s just their dynamic. Seriously. It doesn’t mean anything.
Tsukishima is dating someone.
Someone else.
He pushes the thought away.
“Hey, are you free this weekend?” Tsukishima asks suddenly.
“Mostly,” he answers. “Why?”
“Do you want to come with me to the mall? I have to get a birthday present for Yamaguchi.”
It’s the name that does it.
He doesn’t have many clues. Yet, however many times he’s tried to puzzle it out, the same name keeps coming back to him.
Yamaguchi Tadashi.
They’re childhood friends. They’ve known each other forever. And, there are no two ways about it, Yamaguchi is important to Tsukki. He’s close to Tsukki. If there’s someone who fits the bill of ‘they are obviously dating’... Well, it’s gotta be Yamaguchi. Right? They even live together, for crying out loud.
“Are you dating him?” spills out of his mouth before he knows what’s happening.
Then Tsukishima is choking, coughing as the mouthful he’s taken goes down the wrong pipe. Kuroo’s half out of his seat, wondering if he needs to do something, when the blond aims a staying glare at him before reaching for his water.
“Am I dating who?” Tsukishima asks once the coughs have subsided. His eyes are narrowed and calculating.
Kuroo swallows and remains quiet. He hadn’t meant to say it. Is it too late to try and move past it?
“Don’t do that,” the blond says, eyes narrowing further. “It’s out there, you’ve asked. So just who the hell is it you think I’m dating?”
“Freckles,” Kuroo answers in a hurry. Even he’s not brave enough to risk pissing off Tsukishima by remaining vague. “Yamaguchi, I mean,” he adds, just to be perfectly clear.
Then Tsukki scoffs. “If I am, I’m a pretty awful boyfriend,” he says.
That’s… It’s an answer. But it’s also not really an answer.
“How do you mean?” Kuroo asks, eating a spoonful of stew as if he doesn’t care about the outcome of this conversation one way or the other.
Tsukishima raises an eyebrow and considers him for a moment. “For one thing,” he starts, “I happen to know for a fact that Yamaguchi is in our apartment right now, eating the pizza he ordered and watching Netflix while angsting about a midterm he thinks he failed. Meanwhile, I’m here with you, complaining about your cooking.”
Kuroo thinks about that. “That makes you sound like a pretty bad friend, too,” he says.
Tsukishima chuckles. “No. I’m a good friend. One who left the apartment specifically so that Yamaguchi can call that girl he won’t shut up about and rant his heart out, all without having to worry about me listening in.”
“Oh, is that all I am to you?” Kuroo laughs. “A place to go when you think your roommate needs privacy.” He’s relieved, despite himself, to hear Tsukishima is not dating Freckles. It’s a hollow kind of relief though because, even if it’s not Yamaguchi, there’s still someone and now he has no leads.
Tsukishima raises an eyebrow. “If I just needed a place to go, I’d go somewhere with better food.” He eats another bite and makes another just-for-show nose wrinkle.
“My cooking isn’t that bad,” Kuroo says, rolling his eyes.
“If you say so,” Tsukishima says, though the gleam in his eyes betrays the words.
They eat in silence for a couple of moments before something occurs to Tsukishima.
“Why did you think I was dating Yamaguchi, anyways?” he asks with a frown.
“I heard you were dating someone,” Kuroo says, as smoothly as he can. “If it’s not Freckles, then who is it?”
Tsukishima puts down his spoon and his frown deepens.
“I’m not dating anyone,” he says after a moment. It doesn’t seem like a lie. “Who told you I was dating someone?”
Kuroo hesitates. He doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble. “Hinata told me. He said he heard it from Sugawara.”
Tsukishima doesn’t seem mad. Just baffled.
“Weird,” he breaths out, lost in thought. Then he shakes his head and looks back at Kuroo. “Just so we’re perfectly clear, I’m not dating anyone. I have no clue why Sugawara-senpai would say otherwise, but I’m not.”
“Okay,” Kuroo says. “I believe you.”
They lapse back into silence and Kuroo tries not to wonder why he feels so relieved.
—
The whole ordeal seems to have been dropped. It’s all a misunderstanding. Tsukishima is single and he’s not keeping secrets.
A few days after that’s been settled, though, Kuroo is heading to school with Tsukki when they run into Sugawara at the bus stop. The customary pleasantries are exchanged.
Then Tuskishima says, “I have bone to pick with you.”
“Oh?” Sugawara says with a playful chuckle. “Seems serious.”
“Why are you telling people I’m dating someone?”
Sugawara seems confused for a moment. Then he rolls his eyes. “Hinata?” he asks, with a resigned smile.
“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re just spreading rumours to one person, I guess,” Tsukishima says, eyes narrowed.
Sugawara is unfazed. “I’m not spreading rumours, rest assured,” he says, holding both hands up. “Look, you’re right. It’s possible I said something I shouldn’t have to Hinata. But I didn’t say you were dating someone.”
Tsukishima frowns. And Kuroo is trying to erase himself and make it seem like he’s not interested in this conversation, but he’s frowning too. Neither of them says anything and Sugawara just looks back and forth between them a couple of times, then sighs.
“One of Hinata’s classmates was trying to set you up on a blind date,” he says. “I may have said I thought you were already into someone else.”
The three of them remain quiet, Sugawara and Tsukshima staring each other down while Kuroo continues to pretend he isn’t even there.
“I’m sorry, okay?” Sugawara says, after a time. “I didn’t think Hinata would-” he cuts himself off and shakes his head. “I can ask Hinata to give that girl your number after all, if you want. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Kuroo’s chest feels tight. He doesn’t want some random girl to have Tsukishima’s number. It’s worth more than that. If she wants it, she should work for it. Goodness knows he’d had to.
“No,” Tsukki says quietly. Kuroo breathes a sigh of relief. “It’s fine. I get it.”
Sugawara smiles. There’s some kind of silent communication going on in the looks he and the blond are exchanging. Kuroo lets it go, though. No girl is getting his friend’s number for free. That’s a victory in his books.
“Okay. Good.” Sugawara says. The conversation turns back to school and the bus arrives soon after.
—
He’d thought it was all fine. He’d thought the topic was behind him. Tsukishima is still not dating anyone. He’s still not keeping secrets.
But it’s not fine.
Because, the more he thinks about it, there had been something in Sugawara’s tone and demeanour, something he struggles to put his finger on, that had seemed to imply that this person that Tsukki ‘seems to be into’ is someone he should be dating.
Like in every other TV show where there’s a pair of friends and everyone knows the two are gone for each other, except the two of them are just dumb and oblivious. It’s always a foregone conclusion and it’s only a matter of time before they end up married or whatever.
That’s what Sugawara had seemed to be implying about Tsukki. That he and someone else — probably one of their mutual friends — were one of those couples who just don’t realize they are a couple yet.
And it’s awful because now he’s all too aware that it could be Akaashi, after all. Or Yamaguchi. So what if they both have someone else they’re into right now? He’s watched those shows. He knows sticks get thrown into the spokes and, sometimes, other attractions complicate things. The oblivious friends always end up together, though, after it’s all said and done.
He’s not sure what bothers him more. The fact that the possibility of Tuskishima dating Akaashi or Yamaguchi is being thrown right back into his face, or the fact that he’s not sure who the other oblivious friend is.
It’s always super obvious! The only people who don’t know are the two friends, plus maybe another friend or two that just don’t give a shit. He clearly gives a shit though, so what gives? Why doesn’t he know?
“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?” Tsukishima says, breaking him from his thoughts.
“Huh?” is his eloquent response.
The blond has been sitting across from him at his kitchen table, reading a book while Kuroo works on finishing a paper.
Tsukishima scoffs, closing his book and putting it down. “I’ve been letting it go cause you like to work stuff out of your own but your mood has been flip-flopping for nearly three weeks and, right now, I’m legitimately worried that you’re going to break your laptop. That or your fingers. You know you don’t have to type that violently, right?”
“Uh.” More eloquence. And when he looks at his screen, he notices he’s just typed several lines of non-sense. Clearly, he’s been angrily hitting keys at random for the past few seconds. “I don’t know what you mean,” he lies, hitting back-space until his paper is back to its proper state.
“Right.” Tsukishima rolls his eyes.
Kuroo’s not thinking. He doesn’t mean to say anything else. And yet, he hears himself ask, “Who did Sugawara mean?”
“What?” Tsukki frowns at him.
“The other day. When he said he thought you were into someone. Who did he mean?” Kuroo clarifies. It’s too late, he’s already opened up this can of worms, he may as well get his answers now. “The way you reacted, it seemed like you knew what he meant.”
“I didn’t really,” Tsukishima mutters. He stands and heads for the fridge, opening it and peering inside like he’s looking for a snack. Kuroo’s pretty sure the blond is just using it as an excuse not to have to look at him. “I just understood that he wasn’t trying to start anything. It’s not exactly surprising for Hinata to hear something and get it completely twisted.”
Kuroo narrows his eyes. Tsukishima is hiding something from him after all. And sure, he has a right to hide whatever he wants to, but Kuroo doesn’t like it. “So his implying that you’re into someone was completely random, then?”
“Whatever. I don’t know what goes through his head. He’s right that I wasn’t interested in that blind date, though.”
He should let it go. He knows he should. He doesn’t even get why he’s being so pushy in the first place. But…
“ Is there someone you’re into?”
“Why are you so interested, all of a sudden?” Tsukishima says, slamming the fridge closed and crossing his arms as he frowns at Kuroo.
“Why are you being so evasive?” Kuroo retorts. “It’s not like it would bother me, you know? I’m not even asking who it is!”
“Yeah, you were!”
“Did I?”
“Yes!” Tsukishima growls. “You literally asked me who Suga was talking about.”
Kuroo shuts up. What can he say because it’s true. He did ask that. And he does want to know who it is. He sighs.
“I just…” He stands and heads over closer to Tsukki, reaching out to pull at the blond’s arms until they’re no longer crossed. “I thought we were close, you know? I guess I’m just annoyed that he knows something I don’t.”
“We don’t have to know every single detail about each other, you know?” Tsukishima grumbles.
“Sure,” Kuroo agrees, somewhat reluctant. Tsukki is still frowning and Kuroo can’t help but raise a finger to the wrinkles above his nose, trying to soothe them away with gentle strokes. It works. “You know, whoever it is, it’s not going to bother me.”
Tsukishima rolls his eyes again and pulls away, going back to his seat. He mutters something that sounds a lot like ‘I wish it would bother you at least a little.’ Except, that doesn’t really make sense, does it?
Tsukishima doesn’t want to talk about this, so he’s going to drop it. Seriously, he is. He just can’t help himself from adding one last thing.
“The way he said it,” he starts, “it sounded like he was implying you should be dating this mysterious person.”
Tsukki levels a look at him. It’s equal parts ‘are you fucking kidding me right now?’ and serious consideration.
“Yeah, he probably was implying that,” Tsukishima agrees after a moment.
“Well, at least that’s something,” Kuroo says, trying to keep his tone light. “That must mean he thinks it isn’t one-sided.”
Tsukishima scoffs. “What is this, a shojo manga?” He picks up his book and pointedly fixes his attention on it. “Finish your paper.”
While part of Kuroo is unhappy to leave the conversation there, he does have a deadline so he reluctantly turns his focus back to his report.
At one point, Tsukishima gets up and makes them both sandwiches. Kuroo eats his food, attention remaining glued to his laptop as his deadline looms ever closer. He barely notices it when the blond clears away their empty dishes before heading out to the other room and quietly turning on the television.
Some few hours later, Kuroo is finally done, his paper finished and uploaded to the requisite dropbox with minutes to spare.
He stretches and goes to join Tsukki, flopping down onto the couch in an exhausted sprawl, his legs flung over the armrest and his head ending up in Tsukishima’s lap. The blond doesn’t complain or even turn his eyes away from his show, he just shifts his position slightly to better accommodate Kuroo. His hand winds up in Kuroo’s hair, carding through it gently like it’s the most natural place in the world for it to be.
Kuroo is comfy and warm. His eyes slip shut and his thoughts start to wander. He’d be happy to stay here forever, he thinks. They just fit so well together.
Maybe that’s why this whole thing has been bugging him so much. Because, if Tsukki starts dating someone, if he gets serious with them, then Kuroo’s going to lose all of this, isn’t he?
The nightly visits will stop and Kuroo will miss this easy companionship.
The books Tsukishima tends to leave lying around, whenever he’s done with them, will disappear and Kuroo’s going to have to work harder to find new reading material.
Tsukishima won’t be around quietly humming or turning the radio on to stations Kuroo would never listen to otherwise and his apartment is going to get so, so silent.
Tsukki won’t be here anymore to make sure Kuroo is still eating properly when his workload gets heavy and Kuroo may just die of hunger. He’s going to be alone and cold while Tsukishima runs his fingers through someone else’s hair, while someone else cuddles up to him like this.
Someone else is going to get all of Tsukishima’s just-for-show nose wrinkles.
Someone else is going to get to see how goddamn adorable Tsukki is when he falls asleep curled up on their couch on nights where he’s tried to stay awake to see them after a late shift.
Someone else is going to make him laugh.
Make him smile.
Make him really, truly angry like only someone you love unconditionally can.
Someone else is going to get to hold him. Kiss him.
Love him.
Kuroo sits bolt upright.
Or, he tries to but, instead, because of how he’d been laid out, ends up twisting and falling to the floor.
“Holy crap, I’m such an idiot,” he lets out, awestruck and staring up at Tsukki in bewilderment.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Tsukishima says, staring back at him, his brows furrowed in confusion.
“No. Tsukki,” Kuroo says, picking himself up off the floor and sitting down on the couch so he’s turned toward the blond. He pulls at Tsukishima’s pant leg pointedly and the blond gets the message, shifting on the couch until they’re facing each other properly. “It’s me. I’m the oblivious friend.”
Tsukki cocks his head, still frowning. “I reiterate: Tell me something I do-”
Kuroo clamps a hand over his mouth to interrupt him.
“This whole time, I’ve been agonizing over what Hinata said. Then what Sugawara said. And this whole time it was me! I’m the one he thinks you’re into. We — you and me — we’re the couple that doesn’t know we’re a couple. You should be dating me.”
He drops his hand just in time to witness the flush crawling up the blond’s cheeks.
“I-... You-... It-...” Tsukishima throws his hands up over his face, probably smudging his glasses to all hell as he does so. Kuroo has seen the blond flustered before — the kid doesn’t know how to take a genuine compliment — but this is something else. Tsukki lets out the smallest of groans, then he curls his hands into his lap, making an effort to pull himself together and actually look at Kuroo. Even then, he’s still decidedly flushed and his gaze is aimed somewhere in the vicinity of Kuroo’s left ear. “Are you talking in hypotheticals, here? Or are you actually suggesting that-”
“Yes,” Kuroo interrupts him again.
Tsukishima glares at him, looking him in the eye this time.
“Yes what?” he growls. “Kuroo, you’re killing me here.”
“Yes, I’m actually suggesting we should be together,” he says in an elated breath. He chuckles, reaching out with both hands to cradle Tsukki’s face, moving closer so they’re resting their foreheads against each other. “Tell me you want that,” he breathes as Tsukki’s hands come up to clutch at his forearms. “Oh god. Can I ki-”
He doesn’t get to finish the question because Tsukishima has already tilted forward to connect their lips.
And it’s perfect.
Christ, why haven’t they been doing this all along?
Kuroo smiles into the kiss, using his leverage to pull Tsukki along with him as he falls backward onto the couch and Tsukki lets go of his arms so he can brace himself as he lands on top of him. Then Kuroo’s hands are wandering down Tsukishima’s body, settling on his hips, and Tsukki’s hands are back in his hair, a lot less gentle this time.
And they don’t stop kissing. Tsukki lips slot against his so perfectly, it’s like they have years of practice at this. Kuroo pulls at Tsukki’s lower lip with his teeth and, when the blond parts his lips on a groan, Kuroo doesn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss.
It’s heated and urgent. It’s them trying to fit years of wasted time into this handful of desperate minutes. Kuroo relishes in every moan and whimper he’s drawing with his tongue and his fingers. He’s ready to spend a lifetime learning every sound the blond can make and memorizing the feel of those long, graceful fingers caressing every inch of his body.
An eternity passes and they pull apart, Tsukishima’s forehead back against Kuroo’s as they both struggle to catch their breath.
“I knew I could figure out who you were into,” Kuroo chuckles quietly, raising a hand to run the pad of his thumb against Tsukishima’s cheek.
“Took you long enough,” Tsukishima says, a familiar smirk tugging at his lips.
“Oh yeah?” he asks, quirking his eyebrow. “When did you figure it out then, oh wise one.”
Tsukishima chuckles and pulls away to stand.
“That’s not an answer,” Kuroo teases, standing too and pulling Tsukishima back into his arms.
Tsukishima looks a little sheepish. “The day we ran into Sugawara-senpai at the bus stop,” he admits.
Kuroo scoffs. “All that snark, and yet you weren’t very far ahead of me, were you?” he laughs.
Tsukki rolls his eyes. “Yamaguchi has been teasing me about you for years,” he says. “So it’s not like it was the first time someone suggested there was something between us. But it was Sugawara. And it was so knowing . And then he was offering to give that girl my number and-”
Kuroo cuts him off with a kiss.
“Nope. No talking about giving girls your number.”
“You know, giving someone your number doesn’t necessarily mean-”
Another kiss.
“Is this how it’s going to be now?” Tsukishima asks him with an amused smirk. “Whenever you don’t like what I’m saying you’re going to shut me up with a-”
He’s not gentle about it this time and Tsukki moans as Kuroo pulls him in close. Things are getting heated again and, when Tsukki starts pulling at his clothes, Kuroo’s the one to pull his lips away.
“Tsukki, we have a problem,” he groans out.
“Mmm? What’s that?” The blond asks. He takes advantage of Kuroo pulling away to start trailing kisses down Kuroo’s neck.
“I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to stop kissing you,” Kuroo answers. He tilts Tsukishima’s face back to his and punctuates the statement with yet another deep kiss.
When they break apart next — seconds, minutes or years later — Tsukishima pulls out of Kuroo’s hold only to grab his hand and tug him toward the bedroom. “Doesn’t sound like a problem to me.”
And the brat has the audacity to wink.
—
Kuroo sits up in his bed in a panic when he hears indistinct noises coming from the direction of his front door.
“-not like him to be this late.” He hears the door open and he relaxes, falling back to the bed, as he recognizes Bokuto’s voice. “I wonder what it is this time?”
Right. He’d told Bokuto he’d meet him for brunch, hadn’t he?
He turns his head, his smile going fond as he sees the blond snuggled into one of his pillows. There’s no unease or awkwardness. This feels right and, once again, he finds himself thinking he’s an idiot for taking this long to figure this out.
The footsteps near his bedroom and he spares a moment to make sure both of them are decently covered by his sheets. He spies a hickey or two too many for there to leave much doubt about what’s happened here but, thankfully, there’s nothing too scandalous on display.
“Dude, I’m coming in!” Bokuto announces loudly, right before his bedroom door is flung open. “Oh ho ho!” Bokuto’s face breaks into a huge grin.
Akaashi’s head pops around the doorframe, likely curious about the exclamation. Then he smirks.
“I see you finally got your head out of your ass,” he says.
Kuroo smirks too, opening his mouth to say something about someone’s ass but he doesn’t get out so much as a breath.
“If you respond to that with some asinine comment about my ass, I will murder you,” Tsukishima growls sleepily.
“That would be a shame,” he says gently, running a finger down the blond’s nose. “Not even 24 hours in and I’d already be dead.”
“Try me,” Tsukishima answers, cracking an eye open with a little smile. “You can just come back and haunt me. I don’t see why I can’t date a ghost.”
“I’m so happy for you guys!” Bokuto interrupts with a shout. When Kuroo looks back his way, his friend has his arms spread wide and he’s sure he’d already have jumped into the bed with them if not for Akaashi holding him back, his hand fisted into the back of Bokuto’s T-shirt. “Lunch is on me,” he says. “You have five minutes to get ready.”
And just like that, whirlwind Bokuto has exited the room.
“Seriously though,” Akaashi adds with a scowl. “You guys left me alone with a hungry Bokuto for two hours. For this,” he gestures between them, “I’m glad to take one for the team. You guys deserve to be happy. But get your asses in gear because there will be hell to pay if he doesn’t get fed in the next twenty minutes.”