Work Text:
It had been a long, hard road but Honeymaren was happy to finally make it to Disneyland. On the other hand, her brother had broken his leg, which meant that she was here alone. It kind of put a little damper on the experience, but she promised herself she wouldn’t let it get her too down. After all, she’d been planning this trip for months.
But she wasn’t going to be entirely alone. The first thing she did was buy a plush reindeer to be a stand in for Ryder; the second thing she did was nearly run face first into Elsa. Well, the woman who played the Snow Queen. A movie based on a true story; though Maren was sure there were embellishments. After all, ice magic didn’t really exist. But she’d appreciated the message of sibling love. Her family was everything to her, so she totally got where Elsa had been coming from.
Also, she was just really hot.
“Oof, sorry.” Honeymaren stepped back, smiling sheepishly just before her eyes met the other woman’s and she forgot the simple things. Like breathing.
Besides being astonishingly beautiful, there was something achingly familiar about her. It was in her eyes, the color of ice under the moonlight, and the shape of her face, sharp chinned but with smile lines around her eyes. Even her golden hair was hanging in a braid that Honeymaren’s fingers remembered running through.
Which was impossible, because Honeymaren had never met this woman before in her life.
“It’s all right,” Elsa said her voice like the musical notes to a song barely remembered. “It happens.” She took a step forward as if to steady Maren, and then stopped. For maybe half a second, recognition flashed in Elsa’s eyes and her breath seemed to hang in her throat. There was that same familiarity that made Maren’s heart twist itself into knots. And something in her eyes, like she was holding back tears.
In the next instant, Maren thought this Elsa actress was about to hug her. She genuinely would have been okay with that, but Elsa composed herself, and tried to put on a royal air, “Since we’ve run into each other, may I have your name?”
“Honeymaren.” She couldn’t look away and didn’t even want to. That hair had to be real, and not a wig and by god she wanted to touch it. Take it out of that braid and rake her fingers through it.
“I’m Elsa,” she replied, lips curving upward as if she were amused about something. “But you probably already knew that.”
’Where did you get that scarf?’
Honeymaren opened her mouth to respond, but a little girl ran past and up to Elsa. Elsa held up a finger to indicate Honeymaren should wait, then knelt down to talk to the girl.
Her feet were rooted to the spot anyway, so she watched as Elsa spoke to the girl. She was good, she was really good at this. Maren hoped the park paid her well.
After a few photos, the kid ran off, harried parents rushing along after her, and Elsa appeared at Maren’s side again.
“So that’s your day, huh?”
Elsa laughed, “Yes. But I can’t get enough of it.”
“I can tell, you kind of glowed while you were talking with that kid.” Honeymaren rubbed her arm, realizing she could very easily monopolize this woman’s time. “I should let you get back to it, yeah?”
“I … really didn’t mind.” Elsa’s eyes darted around, then she leaned in and whispered, “I’m off at seven. Would you like to meet up?”
“Yes!” Maren nearly winced at the enthusiasm of her voice, even as she caught a whiff of Elsa’s scent that made her mind reel., “I mean, yeah, that would be great.”
“Okay, Mare, there’s this mexican place a few blocks from the park,” Elsa gave her the cross streets and Honeymaren, afraid of forgetting, wrote it into her phone. She was pretty sure what Elsa was doing was against the Disney Rulebook so she pretended like she was just being given directions to something.
Or at least tried to pretend but Elsa had called her Mare. The thing was, no one called her Mare except her brother, and even then she barely tolerated it. But it sounded so good in Elsa’s voice that Maren was suddenly willing to make an exception. And it didn’t just sound good; it sounded right; like she’d heard it a thousand times before and loved the sound of it every time.
It was the most pleasant and mind-boggling sense of Deja Vu that Honeymaren had ever experienced. She slipped her phone back into a pocket and met those sparkling eyes again. “Thanks. I’ll uhm. I’ll see you then. Oh! Actually, can I get a photo? My brother would kill me if I didn’t. I got this reindeer as a stand in for him..”
Elsa laughed, and slipped her arm around Maren, taking the reindeer and holding it up to her cheek. “How’s this?”
Adorable. It was adorable.
Maren swallowed, and they took a few selfies before Elsa reluctantly handed the reindeer back to her. They still had their arms around each other and Maren had to force herself to look away while she extracted herself. Ryder was never going to let her hear the end of it if she developed a crush on this woman. But it was probably too late for that.
It was beyond tempting to hang around a little longer and watch Elsa interact with other people some more, but if she did that then she wouldn’t get to experience the rest of the park. Maren told herself to put the beautiful woman out of her mind and enjoy herself, and that was pretty much the only way she could. Honeymaren had already left by the time she realized she hadn’t asked Elsa for her real name. It was face-palm worthy, but she put that out of her mind too.
By the time Six-Thirty had rolled around, she was exhausted. But it was the good kind of tired, from a day enjoying herself with Ryder the Reindeer. She had lots of photos on her phone, some of which she sent to the real Ryder while she took an Uber to the Mexican place. She paused on the pictures of her with the Elsa actress after sending one with the reindeer to her brother. She’d spammed the button so there were quite a few, and in most of them Elsa was beaming, Maren looked like a gay disaster, and Ryder the Reindeer looked pleased with the situation. In a few, Elsa was making a funny face, which made Maren giggle.
In one, Elsa was glancing at Honeymaren with a soft, heartbreakingly longing expression.
The phone slipped through her fingers and she picked it up off of her lap to stare at the picture again. It was like she knew her. “Who are you?”
She’d already been pretty nervous even before that but now she was double extra special nervous. So much so she tipped the driver twice what she’d meant to and didn’t really care. He was taking her to meet Elsa and he deserved it.
The restaurant was pretty busy and she was early, so she got onto the waiting list for two and fidgeted against a wall until she was shown to a table. This definitely felt more like a date location than a casual meal, though she wasn’t dressed any worse than most of the people here. Maybe she should have left earlier, gotten a shower or something. What if she smelled? Would Elsa like her if she smelled? Oh god, she wanted Elsa to like her...
Ignoring the urge to order something hard, like tequila, she settled on a beer and some water while she waited, texting her brother while she occasionally looked up to see if Elsa had arrived. Wouldn’t be a cruel twist if she got stood up? Or even set up. Once, in high school, she’d been pranked by one of the popular girls almost exactly like this. It had really been kind of awful.
But before she could panic spiral and flee with only a beer for her experience, she spotted Elsa making her way towards her.
So the hair was real. Gorgeous and golden, unbraided and falling onto her shoulders. Elsa had changed into a dark blue blouse that bared her shoulders yet still had sleeves that went down to her elbows. Her jeans were just a little too tight and Maren had to rake her eyes up to her face before she started drooling.
“Sorry I’m late,” Elsa said, sitting across from her. “Took longer than usual today to get everything settled.”
“I figured,” Maren croaked, before taking a sip of water.
“Started without me?” Elsa smirked, nodding her chin at the beer.
“Uh. I was really thirsty.” Maren leaned her elbows on the table, “So I forgot to ask, and this is awkward probably, but what’s your real name?”
Elsa’s lips, which still had traces of red gloss on them, spread into a slow smile, “It’s Elsa. Really.”
“Wow…” Maren laughed, “Beautiful and with the right name and look and everything. It’s like you were made for the role.”
Flushing, Elsa murmured, “You have no idea.” She leaned her chin onto her fist, eyes intense, “Is this your first time at the park? Where are you from?”
“Yes, and Oregon.” It was generally more complicated than that but sometimes simple was better, “I was supposed to go with my brother, but he broke his leg playing hockey so it’s just me and the reindeer.”
“I’m sure the reindeer is cuter,” Elsa teased.
“We’re twins,” Maren replied, grinning.
Elsa looked flustered, “Well. You must be the cuter twin.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
“A sister. But we were apart for a very long time and she’s only recently come back into my life.” Elsa smiled fondly, “She’s stubborn and opinionated but has the kindest heart.”
Her eyes flicked across Maren’s face, but they were interrupted by the waiter. Maren only half paid attention to ordering, her focus more on Elsa’s face and the way she smiled as she spoke. She seemed so confident and graceful, but when she’d glance at Maren she could tell this woman was trouble. With a capital T.
It might be the little spark of mischief that sometimes appeared in her eyes, a spark that Honeymaren was quickly beginning to learn how to look for.
The food was good, but Maren barely tasted it and if she was asked later she’d be unable to remember what she ordered. It was as though all her senses were bent towards Elsa and she couldn’t escape her. From the timbre of her voice, to the way the light played across her features almost like firelight, to how, as the night went on, Maren found herself falling more and more in love. It was so fast and ridiculous and yet she couldn’t help it. Minutes felt like years and as each one passed her feelings only grew.
As they walked out of the restaurant (when had they finished eating?) Elsa took Maren’s hand. “I can drive you back to your hotel, if you’d like.”
Head spinning, Maren said, “I’d like that, but I really don’t want to let you go yet.”
“Oh?” Elsa’s thumb stroked across her knuckle.
“I should probably wait to say this after I get a ride, but… “ Maren chewed on her lip, “Do you ever get the feeling that you’re supposed to know someone?”
“Yes.” Elsa lifted Maren’s hand to her lips, wetness glimmering in her eyes. They were soft as they brushed her finger tips, “But let's talk about that after I get you back to your room.”
Unable to help herself, Maren ran her fingers along Elsa’s jaw and cheek, then passed her thumb over her lower lip. Elsa’s eyes fluttered closed, mouth dropping open slightly at the contact on her lip. She quickly pulled away, almost stumbling over herself to get into her own car. Maren tried to hide her smile, but failed.
It was the longest ride of Maren’s life, but at least the company was nice and the car was a cute little sporty coup that was, fittingly, a light shade of blue. They even held hands most of the way there and Maren kept having to shut down vivid fantasies about what they could get up to when they got to her room. Elsa had implied, at least, that there would be conversation. Which Honeymaren could more than live with.
But everytime she looked at her, she wanted to know what those lips tasted like. Apple? Cherry? Something minty?
“Is this it?” Elsa asked, pulling into the parking lot.
“Yep. You’re not gonna send the Mouse after me for not staying at one of the Disney hotels right? Uber is way cheaper.”
Laughing, Elsa put her hand on Maren’s knee, “Your secret is safe with me.”
This time, Maren was the one stumbling around the car. But she recovered quickly now that there was a vehicle between her and this woman.
Elsa’s hair gleamed in the moonlight as she pointed to the sky, ‘Look, the Northern Lights!’
Maren shook her head, “What was that? Northern Lights?” They were way too far south for that. That growing sense of Deja Vu only became stronger the longer she was around Elsa.
“I didn’t say anything?” Elsa tilted her head, bit her lip, then nodded, “After you.”
Confused by what she’d thought she’d seen and heard, Maren led Elsa up to her room and swiped the key card. Out of habit, she kicked off her shoes and smiled when Elsa seemed to do so just as quickly.
Then Elsa grabbed her hand and hurriedly pulled her the rest of the way into the room. Towards the bed.
Okay. Okay. This was happening. Be cool, be calm and collected. Be coo-- Maren suddenly found herself made to sit on the bed as Elsa sat next to her.
That longing expression had returned to Elsa’s eyes, the edges brimming with unshed tears. Lifting her hands, she placed them on either side of Maren’s face. Her voice shook with heavy emotion, “About that feeling you mentioned. About knowing someone. I know you, Mare. And you know me.”
Frost spread out from Elsa’s fingertips, reaching into Maren’s blood, crystalizing it. It felt like Maren had a thought on the tip of her tongue, and it was an important one. And then, the thought clicked into place. It was her voice, but she almost didn’t recognize it, “Water has … memory?”
There were bits and pieces, as if looking at a reflection of herself in a cracked and broken mirror. Some images were clear, others distant and blurry. No two scenes quite linked to the other but they still painted a picture of another time. Another life. There was a fog and a forest, magic and spirits. A feeling of awe and wonder at the sky itself. Ryder was a part of this too, and so was Elsa.
Dimly she thought she heard Elsa murmuring something under her breath, a refrain of two words over and over and over again. The sound became clearer, even as she tried to make sense of what she was remembering. Because that’s what this was. Memory.
’Elsa?’ Maren’s voice sounded so weak to her ears.
‘Yes, sweetheart?’ Elsa clasped her wrinkled hand tightly between her own as she peered down at her.
And it was a refrain, and a prayer. “Please work please work please work please--”
Maren leaned in and kissed her. Elsa made a choked sobbing sound, wrapping her arms around Marenand returning the kiss like a drowning woman desperate for air. Like everything else about Elsa, this was also familiar. Warm, happy memories of kissing her beneath an enchanted canopy. Riding reindeer alongside a magical horse made of water. Nights making love and many more stargazing together. Fragmented, maybe never to be made whole, but they felt as real as any memory she had and they told her enough.
Breaking the kiss, she leaned her forehead against Elsa’s, letting the other woman cling to her, “I do know you. I don’t know how, but I do.”
“How much do you remember?” Elsa cupped the right side of Maren’s face, peering deeply into her eyes. The way she’d kept looking at her, that soft longing in the photo, that shock of recognition the moment they’d met. It all fit together now.
“Fragments. Bits and pieces really. Some kind of forest, an enchanted fog. Lots of magic.” Maren furrowed her brow, then heat spread on her face. “You’re there. We’re … close. I don’t really understand … Elsa isn’t real. I mean, not the magic part, anyway.”
Elsa smiled, quirking an eyebrow in a way that would have made Maren’s knees weak if she’d been standing. “I’m very real.”
She pulled Maren in suddenly, into a tight embrace. Slowly, she slid her arms around Elsa and could feel her shaking. “Is this some kind of soulmate thing?”
“Kind of,” Elsa mumbled.
“Kind of?” Maren pulled back, tipping Elsa’s chin and gazing into her eyes. “What do you mean, kind of?”
Brushing some of the hair out of Maren’s face, Elsa looked uncertain, “I don’t want to lie to you, or withhold information. I just don’t know how to say it, exactly.”
Maren smiled and waited, “It’s okay, take your time.”
“The last time I saw you, you were very old. And I… looked exactly the same as I do now. And that was well over a hundred years ago.”
“Oh.” It was next to impossible for her to really imagine that. If what Elsa had said was true she’d been alive this whole time. Had she been looking for her? Waiting for her? Alone? Maren’s heart ached.
“To answer your next question, I never expected to see you again. I just assumed I’d be alone. But then one day I saw a woman. I’d found Anna out there, and I knew you were waiting.”
“Wait, the snowman is alive?”
Elsa wiped her eyes and nodded.
Maren wet her lips, overwhelmed for a moment. “Just… give me a second to think here.”
“Okay.” Elsa managed to sound like she wasn’t hanging on the edge of a fraying thread, but Maren was certain she was.
She didn’t intend to keep her hanging for long, she just needed to set things into place in her head. “In a past life, we were in love. We built a life together, didn’t we? I’m sorry I don’t remember all of it.”
“Anna is the same way,” Elsa whispered. “But believe me, I don’t mind. Just having her again is enough. And I hope … if you want to, that is … We could try again?” She looked down, “I’m off tomorrow. I could give you the personal tour of the Park. Just make a day of it, just the two of us. And Ryder the Reindeer of course.”
“I’d love that.” Maren, in a past life, had loved this woman with a ferocity that defied words. She’d try again, even if they might have to learn about each other all over again.
Maren took Elsa’s hands and squeezed them, “Can you stay here tonight? I want to talk more. I’m sure you have a lot of questions and so do I.”
Elsa nodded, exhaling a slow breath as she did so.
Maren grinned, and leaned forward to brush her lips against her ear, “And I don’t know about you, but I really want to keep kissing.”
“Now that’s something that hasn’t changed,” Elsa said, looking at her with a hopeful expression.
“...I’m just very gay and you’re very beautiful,” Maren admitted, pretty sure that that hadn’t changed either.
’Elsa?’ Maren’s voice sounded so weak to her ears.
‘Yes, sweetheart?’ Elsa clasped her hand tightly between her own as she peered down at her.
‘Do you regret loving me?’ For some reason, this felt important just now.
‘Never,’ Elsa said. She kissed the tips of Maren’s fingers and her voice cracked, ‘Never. I love you and I don’t regret one moment of it. Now rest, Mare. It’s time to rest.’
Maren blinked sudden tears out of her eyes. When her vision was less blurry, she found Elsa staring at her and the words tumbled out of her mouth. “Are you sure you want to do this again?”
“Yes,” Elsa assured her. “And I’ll do it again, and again and again. Now that I know I can find you, I’ll always do so. Except when you don’t want me to.”
Honeymaren was unable to think of any reason why she’d ever reject this woman. “Now, or a hundred years from now, I’ll find you too.” They’d have to figure out how to be together, where they’d live, what they’d do, but Maren had no doubt she would be with Elsa. That they belonged together, whether it was the 1800s, the 2000s or the 2800s. “I promise, Elsa. You’ll only be alone as long as it takes me to find you.”
She slid her fingers into Elsa’s hair, tangling them in the silky strands. Slowly, gently, she pulled them both down onto the bed. Slowly, gently, she wiped the tears from Elsa’s cheeks.
Slowly, gently, she drew Elsa in for another kiss.